The Secret to a Lasting Marriage

John 15:1–11 (ESV)

1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

Jase and Bekah, today I want to remind you the secret to a lasting marriage is found by abiding in Jesus.

Jesus opens chapter 15 with the phrase “I am the true vine”. This is a significant statement because the nation of Israel was called God’s choice vine on which he lavished care and attention (Is. 5). He longed for fruit but the vine (Israel) became deteriorate and produced rotten fruit. Therefore Jesus, as the “True vine” fulfills what God had intended for Israel.

This is so significant because we are not called to produce spiritual fruit on our own, but to abide on the one true vine that is full of life and then as we are connected to him, life flows through us like a branch connected to a tree. (Show withered branch and fresh branch).

This is the whole concept of abiding in Jesus: Connected to the source of life.

Here’s what you’ll experience in your marriage as you abide in Jesus:

Abiding in Jesus produces spiritual fruit.

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4–5, ESV)

Notice the roles: Jesus is the vine; we are the branches. Our call is not to produce spiritual fruit, but to be connected to the source of life. As a result, spiritual fruit will happen.

But often times we are tempted to produce life on our own without being connected to Christ. Jesus was very clear, “apart from me you can do nothing.”

Take a look at all the trees around us. They are full of life because of the sap running through them. In the same way, the Holy Spirit flows through us like tree sap us giving us life. That’s why it is called, “The Fruit of the Spirit”

I find it fascinating that Jesus speaks of love and joy in John 15 and then the Apostle Paul in Galatians 5:22 writes that “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy….”

How do you abide in Jesus?

Abiding in Jesus takes intentionality.

You must be intentional if you want to grow in your relationship with Jesus. The primary means the Holy Spirit uses are the Word and prayer.

You see this principle in John 15:

Verse 7 , “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”

Verse 11, “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”

Verses 15-16. “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

What a wonderful invitation. Abiding in Jesus doesn’t happen by accident, it takes intentionality. Spend time with Jesus as a couple.

In addition to Bible reading and prayer, I would also like to encourage you to practice the following in your abiding relationship with Jesus:

- Go to church together.

- Serve others.

- Be generous with your time and resources

Abiding in Jesus takes intentionality

Abiding in Jesus calls for seasons of pruning.

John 15:1 ““I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.”

Pruning is necessary so that our lives can produce the fruit of the Spirit. Notice the progression in John 15—fruit, more fruit, much fruit

God uses people and problems to prune us

God will use your marriage to bring attention to those areas that need pruning. The problems that you will experience in your marriage are meant to draw you closer to your Savior in order to experience deeper transformation.

Jase and Bekah asked if they could partake of Communion at their wedding.

Move to the Communion table

Communion is a wonderful portrait of the gospel. The bread and the cup to represent Jesus' body and blood. Communion is where we remember His death on the cross in order to rescue us from our sin and restore our relationship with God.

1 Corinthians 11:23–26 “23 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” Amen!