Shame and Allegiance

1 Peter 2:6

Introduction

“You Ought to Be Ashamed”

There are three basic ways we use the word shame:

“The first is the “feeling” or “experience” of shame (the warmth under the skin and extreme self-consciousness that overtakes an individual when he or she has done something that provokes public disapproval or ridicule.”

“the second is a “sense” of shame, the “healthy attitudes that define a wholesome character,” the predilection for avoiding certain behaviors that bring shame.”

The third is a general sense of shame that is most often connect to some sort of abuse.

Our culture is utterly confused concerning shame.

“American culture has moved further in two opposite directions in regard to shame at the same time.”

“On the one hand, voices denouncing the harmfulness of shame and advocating for the elimination of both shame and shaming seem to have grown louder and more strident.”

“On the other hand, rampant shaming has become increasingly prominent, particularly within social-media culture or in connection with the same. “Canceling” has become the ultimate modern expression of shaming in the West.” - Desilva, Honor, Patronage, Kinship, and Purity

The solution is not to rid ourselves of cancel culture. The goal is not in fact to have a society where literally anything goes. We need consistent guidance on who should be cancelled not led by the ever changing mob.

The typical view has become “there is nothing positive about shame” and that “in any form, in any context and through any delivery system, shame is destructive”- Brene Brown

There is often a distinction drawn to differentiate between guilt and shame:

“Guilt (true guilt) happens when our actions violate conscience and/or God-laws of morality. The cross offers wonderful cleansing for true guilt. Shame is different. Shame happens when we fail to live up to the expectations of others. It happens a lot -in families.”

I do think there is SOME distinction to be made here but it is not the case that one of these is good and the other is bad.

Some might say shame (and guilt) are appropriate as internal feelings but it isn’t your job to make me feel those things.

Shame is put to open use in Scripture (1 Cor. 6:5; 15:34; 2 Thess. 3:14; cf. Phile. 19).

God expects it of people who see their sin (Ezek. 6:9; 20:43; 36:31).

Some will want to make the separation about shame and guilt that guilt is about what I did but shame is about who I am. So it is good to feel guilt about action but not shame about my identity.

But actions are tied up with our identity. The key is, that not only actions but even identity can (and need to) change.

Shame spreads out (Prov. 19:26; 29:15).

Shame can come from your children or your parents.

This is especially true when we refuse to distinguish ourselves from the shame (2 Cor. 7:11).

Of course this works both ways as when we come from honorable homes we should feel a responsibility to uphold that honor.

Some have thought that the solution to the collateral damage of shame is to remove it altogether, but this only motivates shameful behavior.

We are not trying to rid our lives of shame (1 Cor. 5:2).

Instead we want to properly order it.

Certainly, it can be abused.

Ordering Our Shame

We feel shame based on where our love and loyalty are (1 Pet. 2:6; 3:16; 4:16).

When we choose loyalty to Christ, others may try to make us ashamed of that choice (Lk. 14:26; 10:40).

When we are ashamed of Christ or of His people, we are giving loyalty to someone else (Jn. 9:20-23).

Our boldest confidence should be in speaking the King’s truth.

Our greatest humiliation should be when we have failed Him.

We need to properly order our loyalties so that we are ashamed where and when we ought to be and never when we should not be.

Our families are due allegiance (Prov. 10:1; 15:20).

We need to order our families so that shame comes from proper directions.

Too often, families are the source of disordered shame.

Our spiritual family is due allegiance (1 Cor. 12:20-26).

We should gladly bear shame with and for those to whom we are loyal (Heb. 12:2; 1 Cor. 1:25-28).

We should learn to refuse to be ashamed where we should not be (Phil. 1:20).

In fact, we should accept the shame of the world as a compliment (Acts 5:41).

Conclusion

When are you most ashamed (when do you feel the flush of the cheeks and discomfort of ridicule)?

Who do you give that power over you to?

God is the only one who will ultimately bear that power over you always for your good.

If you feel shame from His people, then ask yourself, are they upholding shame that comes from God? Then be thankful. If not, ignore them.

The most important part about shame, is that God provides a way to resolve it. To put it away and be ashamed no more (the world isn’t offering that).