Do I Love Your Design?

Grace to you and peace from God that Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a great honor to share with you from the Word of God sitting at the table of God’s grace, feasting on His buffet of benefit.

There is so much drama in the world and our access to it just keeps increasing. We are drama addicts. We love to watch it happen all around us, but I don’t know many people who enjoy being the recipient of it. We like to watch from a far with our popcorn buckets, enjoying the show, but we don’t want to actually be involved, just passive observers. This is basically the primary function and use of Social Media. People observe other people’s business without really having to get involved. We are tantalized by scandal and love to watch the pot as it stirs.

Right now there are a few things going on within the national and even local levels of southern baptist life. There have been conversations about the definition of Pastor. Churches have been disfellowshipped. I’d almost be certain that at least a few hearing of this are interested and want to know more! In our human nature, we have a desire for drama.

I’ve alluded to this before, but this is also the way we like to have it in the church. Everyone enjoys sitting under the fiery preacher who goes after all those sinners. There’s an odd sense of enjoyment in watching someone popping off on that other person. I’d love to know the root psychological cause but I think some of it comes from being able to escape the weight of your own problems by focussing on someone else’s. There may even be a sense of pride or superiority that one feels when the sins of another are brought up that you don’t struggle with. It makes you feel like a “good” Christian.

Allow me to make a few things clear before we get into our primary text this morning:

Number 1: I am not here to entertain you. While I certainly hope that I do not bore you to death, nor have anyone fall asleep and fall out a window, my primary aim is not to entertain you. None of us should approach the church service by grabbing the metaphorical popcorn bad and watching gleefully as the pastor rips up another one.

Number 2: I am not going to use this platform as a bully pulpit. I do not, nor should anyone filling this pulpit, go out of there way to attack any particular pet peeve that may come across our mind. You have heard me talk about expository preaching before. That is preaching through a text systematically.Each week our outline is basically a break down from first verse to last verse of whatever section we are going through. And most of those sections come systematically through a particular book of the Bible. This is intentional so that we cannot avoid particularly difficult texts (as today’s text certainly is), and also planned so that when we do talk about a difficult issue, it is not seen as a personal attack.

Number 3: The only joy there is in calling out sin is seeing genuine repentance on the other side. Seeing the pastor “go after” those other sinners, ought not to give us glee! It ought to break our hearts to know that we are living in a fallen world and that sin is still present around us. Our response to any sermon should not be, “boy the pastor really let THEM have it today!” Instead the response to just about every sermon ought to be, “Boy Our God really should’ve let ME have it, but by His grace through the blood of Jesus I’ve been forgiven!”

Today we are going to be approaching one of the most difficult passages of Scripture we have attempted to do, at least in my time as pastor over the last 3 and half years. I believe that the topic of this sermon will hit close to the heart for many of us here today. I want it to be known, we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. The intention this morning, is not to pile upon any one in particular, nor to make anyone feel proud in themselves that they haven’t had to deal with this issue. The intention is for all us to take God’s Word seriously, reverentially, and joyfully seeking to serve Him well in response to the Grace that He has shown to us. We read in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 “11 and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,” May we each focus on stewarding our own lives for the glory of God, not reveling in the faults of other, but taking hope in the grace of God.

With that in mind, turn if you have not already to Malachi 2. Today we are going to be looking at the third deficiency in Israel’s view of God out of a series of 7. Thus far in our series we have seen how the Israelites claimed to love God but said that He did not love them, despite His eternal faithfulness. Then for the past three weeks we looked at how they said they loved God but their worship said otherwise. Today we are transitioning from apathetic worship to our understanding of God’s design for the relationships around us. We will be breaking this text down into three sections. Personal relationships, Marriages to unbelievers, and Finally divorce. We will see God’s good design for relationships, how we fall short, and how God’s grace is bigger than our shortcomings.

Let’s begin in verse 10.

Malachi 2:10 ESV

10 Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers?

You know, in the introduction to this sermon, I mentioned how we are tempted to take glee when it feels like the pastor is going after someone else with a particular sin that we don’t struggle with, part of that comes from not having a full understanding on the community that the church is supposed to be.

In our text this morning, Malachi speaks now using his own voice. The pronouns in verse 10, “we” and “us” show us, the readers, that he is no longer speaking specifically about the faults of the Israelite priests, but instead is addressing the whole nation of Israel. He says, “Do we not all have the same Father? Has not one God created us?”

Now, to really grasp what is being said here, we have to have a clear grasp on who Malachi is talking about. It is certainly true that God is the creator of all things. God is the creator of all people. But who rightly calls God Father? There is a wicked misconception that everyone is God’s child. I call this wicked because it distorts the gospel and the need for regeneration! John 1:12–13 “12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” We need to understand that naturally speaking, we are not God’s children! We are in need of adoption! We are in need of salvation.

The Israelites called God Father because God adopted them, He chose them through Abraham and then again through Israel to be His children. From our perspective today, we only rightly call God Father we believe in the name of Jesus and receive Him as Lord. Through Christ we are adopted into sonship. Make a note to look up 1 John 3:10, see the dichotomy that exists, the harsh reality we like to overlook, that this world is filled with children of God and the children of the devil, and each of it fits in one of those categories.

So Malachi is first talking to the family of the Israelites, we can easily make extension to the church as the family of God. Then He says has not the One God created us? This is going deeper than God’s general hand of creation. Like adoption, this is referring to God forming the nation of Israel. God has formed them together and made a covenant with them. We have been looking at aspects of the covenantal blessings in regard to services in the temple for the last couple of weeks. Though you and I are not Israelites, we know from the New Testament than we have been grafted into a covenant with God. Hebrews 9:15 “15 Therefore [Christ] is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant.”

In the opening questions to the Israelites in verse 10, Malachi is reminding Israel, are we not God’s children, bonded together by the covenant of God’s grace? Didn’t God call us together to serve Him? Both of those questions can rightly be applied to the church today. But why does Malachi remind the Israelites of their place as God’s people? Because despite their special calling, they have turned on one another. They are faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of their fathers.

In short, they were treating one another like dirt. Their origin from one Father should have created a "family" atmosphere, in which they would have had special concern for each other, but alas they did not care for one another. In just a moment, we’re going to focussing on marital relationships, but for just a moment, we should be seeing the great design God has for their to be peace amongst His people!

In our church, we have a member’s covenant. It is a collection of promises that we make to one another as believer’s sharing in the faith and family of God! I’m not trying to elevate our member’s covenant to the level of Scripture, but its content is derived from Scripture. Our Church covenant is a list of promises we make that are in line with the responsibilities we see given to believers in Scripture. One paragraph reads, “We further promise to watch over one another in brotherly love; to remember one another in prayer; to aid one another in sickness and distress; to cultivate Christian sympathy in feeling and Christian courtesy in speech; to be slow to take offense, but always ready for reconciliation and mindful of the direction of our Savior to secure restoration without delay.”

I would love for all us to sincerely evaluate how we are living up to that paragraph in our care and concern for one another. How are you watching over the person sitting in front of you in brotherly love? Are you ready or better yet, have you even attempted to make reconciliation with another member you’ve had a prior squabble with? Do you remember the rest of the church in prayer? How have you actively aided another in sickness and distress?

We profane the covenant of this church when we ignore it and create division in the church AND when we act as if the promises are for everyone else to show to us, but we have no responsibility in them. We are living for our good and the glory of God when we are cherishing and acting upon the covenantal promises we have made to one another. The same was true in Israel.

Are you familiar with the word shalom? John Piper was preaching on the importance of order and following covenantal promises in Israel and in the church. He said this: it's what the OT means by shalom. All relationships are made peaceful and pure by the fulfillment of covenants and promises and oaths and contracts and commitments. Children to parents, and parents to children. Husbands to wives and wives to husbands. Employer to employee and employee to employer. Citizen to state and state to citizen. The peace and prosperity and joy—the shalom—of the community is held together by the deep strong spirit of covenant-keeping that pervades the community. The very fabric of the community is the trustworthiness of its people. Do they keep their commitments?

Church, we are called to keep our commitments to one another and to the Lord. Israel was missing the mark on this when our text this morning was written. Their shortcomings were being exposed so that it might lead to their repentance and action. May our shortcomings be exposed this morning and responded to with repentance and action!

God designed us to be a relational people, serving together as HIS people, may we cherish that. Let’s now begin to look at His design for marriage.

Malachi 2:11–12 ESV

11 Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts!

In these verses, Malachi transitions from general relationships to discussing a particular issue with marriage with the Israelite people. They were marrying pagans. This is called in our text this morning an abomination. This should grasp our attention and let us know that this is a big deal. Now in our modern culture, we may think this is a bit xenophobic. Faith is personal so it doesn’t matter what my husband or wife believes so long as I am good.

But, as Piper once again puts it, the point of the verse is that when we claim to love God with all our heart and soul and mind and strength, and then willfully choose to unite ourselves with an unbeliever in the most intimate personal union on earth, we profane the holiness of God. We act as though our emotional drive for human intimacy is more important than affirming the preciousness of God's holiness and nearness.

In my time in youth ministry, I can’t tell you how many young faithful girls I’ve met who were interested in young man who was uninterested in God. They viewed the boy as their project, their mission field. They would be the ones to finally convert the young rebel. While there would sometimes be a brief change, I can tell you from my experience that more often than not, what started as a mission to change the boy would lead to a strained and wandering faith, or falling into even deeper sin.

To the single believer hearing this message, if you desire to be in a relationship, seek to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same worldview as you. No one is perfect, you may not agree on every single thing, but before you enter into the covenant of marriage with someone, you better both understand and proclaim that Jesus Christ is Lord and worthy to be served. I mean this so seriously that it is in my personal wedding policy. If someone comes to me wishing to have me officiate their wedding, I will not do so if either party is an unbeliever. You may think this to be a hardline, but I believe our choice in a spouse is a reflection of our thoughts on God. Sometimes we can be whisked away by the passion of love, but the prudent voice will remind us that it is for our good and God’s glory to be equally yoked with our spouse.

Now this does open up a few potential issues for our application of this passage. Does this mean that we shouldn’t hope for our spouse to be converted? Of course now. 1 Peter 3 give great guidance for how we are to love our spouse whether they share our faith or not and then hope to see God work through us to draw our spouse unto Himself. If you are in a relationship with an unbeliever, please quite literally for the love of God, share the gospel with them and seek for them to come to know the faith you hold dearly.

Another implication from this is what if after much time and trial, your spouse still doesn’t believe the gospel? Well, you are first and foremost to honor them and continue to model love of Christ in all that you do. You can be respectful and pure in your conduct, you can show honor to them. You can rest knowing that you love them and will continue to model Christ’s love in your relationship for them. While it is certainly true that I will not advise someone to enter into covenant of marriage with an unbeliever, it does not mean that because you have done so, that you have lost your own salvation or an incapable from serving the Lord. Remember Young Timothy I alluded to last week. Paul commends Timothy’s mother for raising him in the faith and building a strong foundation of spiritual knowledge. According to Acts 16, Timothy’s mother was a believing Jewish woman, and his father was an unbelieving greek. Such is the grace of God that He can and does work through all things for the good of those who love Him and for His ultimate glory. Even further proof that you should not leave your spouse for even if they do not share the faith we know to be true is given in 1 Corinthians 7:12 and 13. There the Apostle Paul expressly commands the believers who have unbelieving spouses to remain in the marriage, showing the unbeliever the Love of God, awaiting the day when they come to faith.

In our text this morning the Israelites showed lack of concern for their position as a Covenant people in their marriages by blending their beliefs with foreign gods. It is possible that you never considered the importance of a shared faith in your relationships. If you and your spouse share the same faith in Christ, cherish that. If your spouse does not share faith in Christ, love them and share with them the truth of Christ. If you do not yet have a spouse, glorify God by seeking a partner who shares faith in Christ.

I say something to this effect at every wedding I officiate: Marriage is a picture of the unity and relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church. If God instituted marriage, and He did, and marriage is intended to be a testimony to the Union of Christ and His Bride the church, and it is, then it only makes sense that we ought to seek to optimally glorify God in our marriages. You cannot change the decisions you have made in the past, but you can redeem your circumstances, consecrate them to God, and use them now for His glory. May we all be resolved to honor God in whatever relationship status He has us in.

Because marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and His Church, divorce is a big deal. Look with me now to the last section of our text this morning:

Malachi 2:13–16 ESV

13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

In this section, the Lord exposes a grievous behavior that has been plaguing the Israelite camp. The men have been forsaking their wives and frivolously divorcing.

Now really quickly, I do want to note that if you were reading along in a different translation, particularly verses 15 and 16, things probably read a little bit differently. From a scholarly perspective, these two verses are some of the most difficult to translate verses in all the Hebrew parts of the Bible. I don’t have the knowledge or familiarity with the Hebrew to present to you all of the difficulties in translating these verses. however, I can tell you that while every translation may not say it the same exact way, the message is clear and difficult for us to swallow in our modern context. And that is this: Divorce, especially the frivolous divorce found often in our culture, is a bad thing that causes harm, damages our witness, and dishonors God.

Why is this so? Verse 14 here reminds us that marriages are made with the Lord as the witness! In our marriage ceremony we make vows! Listen to a regular presentation of the ring: “I pledge before God and these witnesses to place your good above mine, now and always, no matter the circumstances. I promise to honor you, to love you, and to cherish you until death do us part. Joyfully and willingly, I commit myself to you, and to you alone.”

In Christian marriage we are making a promise before God, testifying to His goodness before others. To then be frivolous and faithless in regards to that promise, diminishes the good name of God and makes us liars.

Remember that we understand marriage to be an institution of God and a reflection of the relationship between Christ and His Church. God and His people.

I will not try to tell you that marriage is easy. I will not say that your spouse will never let you down. I will not say that there are no exceptions given in the New Testament, allowing divorce, we know of two.

But I will say, you give God great glory and testify to the grace of God when you stay with your husband or wife faithfully instead of walking out.

Listen to how God talks to His people: Isaiah 54:4-8

Isaiah 54:4–8 ESV

4 “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. 5 For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. 6 For the Lord has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God. 7 For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. 8 In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord, your Redeemer.

There may be rocky times in the relationship, but our God will never forsake His bride. We, the church are His bride. When we model that in our own homes, we give testimony to God’s grace! There are cold days in a marriage, but hold on! Keep loving your spouse! Not everyday will be sunshine and roses. But when we realize that God loves us despite our frequent unfaithfulness to Him, we can be empowered to show similar grace to our spouses. Couples young and old hold on to one another!

This opens up another set of deep and important questions that we won’t be able to fully flesh out in the time constraints of this sermon. Before I wrap up, allow me to say, I recognize this is a complex issue. If you have concerns or questions please come to me and we can work it out together.

But before we close, I do want to be clear, that while divorce is lamentable, our salvation in Christ is just that, IN CHRIST. Divorce has affected many of us in this room. I want to be clear today that while I wholeheartedly believe we should avoid divorce, we should also recognize that no sin is so deep that it can sever us from our Father’s Hand. That is not a license to sin, but rather a relief in the grace of God.

Allow me to close with calls to action for three groups from Pastor Kevin DeYoung:

“To the married: Stay married. Guard your marriage. Don’t think you are above falling. Don’t think you are above temptation. Pray together. Take walks together. Get away from the kids to be together. There are few things more precious in life than your marriage. Do not take it for granted. And if you are contemplating divorce, please talk to someone. Please don’t give up. If you have biblical grounds for divorce, consider what glory it might be to God to patiently work toward reconciliation. And if you don’t have biblical grounds, consider what offense it will be to God to break the promises you made in his name. Consider the harm to your kids. Stay married.

To the divorced and single: If you had grounds for a divorce, the leaders want to do everything we can to make sure no one looks down on you. If you have been sinned against, we do not want to treat you as the sinner. We do not want you to run from the church, but find grace and fellowship here.

If you are divorced but shouldn’t be, can you find hope in your heart that God might be able to reconcile you and your spouse? It would be a great trophy of his grace to bring you two back together. If that doesn’t happen, don’t get remarried. [Be satisfied in Christ, knowing that He is more than enough and more than any relationship offers.]

To those who have sinfully divorced, to those whose sin caused the divorce, to those who are now remarried when you shouldn’t be: run to the cross. It is not light thing to tear asunder what God joined together. It is no small mistake to pursue an adulterous second marriage. But God’s grace is not light and it is not small. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. There is mercy yet for you. But the contrition must be real, the admission of guilt must be honest, the repentance must be earnest. A broken heart and a contrite spirit the Lord will never deny. Run to God. Plead with God. Know his adopting love. Experience again his justifying free grace. There is a fountain filled with blood, drawn from Immanuel’s veins. And sinners plunged beneath that flood, lose all their guilty stains.”

I know there was a lot to take in from this message today. The main point is this: God has designed us to be a relational people and how we handle those relationships is a testimony to how we view God. In a moment, we will have a hymn of response. I want you to know that I am hear to help you, to pray with you, and point you to God’s Word. It is my great hope that we will be a people complete in Christ. Let’s pursue that together. Lets pray.