Community: Friendship

Introduction:

Welcome to Jr. High Students

Welcome 8th graders

Series on Life Together—Community

We aren’t meant to live life alone

We are created for community

We receive love and affirmation when we are in communities

We are pushed and grow when we are in communities

Does anyone remember the one thing that was “not good” in the story of creation?

Genesis 2:18 (CSB)

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

We are not created to be lone wolves figuring out life on our own

We were made to reflect the love of God in community with other people

But community is not something that just happens

You can’t just take a room full of people and say they are a community

Or you can’t just take a room full of people that say they believe in Jesus and say it’s a Christian community

Community is the big idea but what it looks like very practically is individual relationships

The building blocks of community are friendships

What makes a community special are the individual relationships that exist between everybody

EXAMPLE

So being a part of community is not about spending time in a room with other people

But its about building and fostering friendships with different people

How many of you have friends?

Your whole life you will make new friends and lose friends

So this morning I am going to share on a Biblical understanding of friendship

The importance of friends—Why we need them

What to look for in a friend

Scripture Reading:

John 15:12–17 (CSB)

“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you.

“This is what I command you: Love one another.

My three points:

A true friend loves at all times

A true friend tells you the truth

A true friend reflects the character of Jesus

Loves at All Times

Proverbs 17:17 (CSB)

A friend loves at all times,

and a brother is born for a difficult time.

The truth of the matter is that we all need love and affirmation from other people

We need people in our corner, encouraging and loving us

And we specifically need other Christians to remind us of God’s love and care for us

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Like the Proverb says, A friend loves at all times

They aren’t just someone who is around when things are good and when they aren’t so good they leave your side

They aren’t people who share our interests but people who truly and genuinely care for us

A true friend is someone who can mourn with us as we cry

Rejoice with us when we hear good news

A sorrow shared is half, a joy shared is doubled

Think of Job’s friends

What did he need?

Was it helpful that his friends kept on accusing him?

He needed a friend who would suffer with him

Who would be vulnerable enough to have their hearts broken with Job

I’ve said this before in high school ministry

But to be truly loved, we must be truly known and accepted

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And friends are people that both know us deeply and accept us

And I’m not saying a friend always needs to agree with you or that we shouldn’t want our friends to change

But a true friend loves despite the problems someone has

A true friend is committed to YOU not just a convenient person to hang around

What it means to love someone isn’t blindly accepting them

Its to see them grow in the deepest way

To see them grow more and more like Jesus

This leads into our second point, a true friend:

Tells You the Truth

Proverbs 27:17 (CSB)

Iron sharpens iron,

and one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 13:20 (CSB)

The one who walks with the wise will become wise,

but a companion of fools will suffer harm.

Most of our growth as followers of Jesus comes in our relationships with other people

Proverbs 16:2 (CSB)

All a person’s ways seem right to him

We tend to view ourselves a lot better than we actually are

Our sin usually looks a lot worse on other people

We all have blind spots

Part of what a true friend is about is pointing out these blind spots in love

Somebody that will tell us the truth about us, not sugar-coating everything to make us feel better about ourselves

But even in this, we have to strike a balance:

Ephesians 4:15 (CSB)

But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ.

truth and love

Truth without love:

Harsh, hurtful, critical, destructive

Love without truth:

Insincere, enabling, destructive

But we must learn to walk and speak with our friends in truth and love

And that's where the previous point comes in

A true friend loves at all times

They are on your side, in your corner

So when they have something truthful to say (that hurts)

We can trust that it is because they are committed to seeing us grow

Not because they are petty or spiteful

My own experiences:

I have seen friends grow through very hard conversations we’ve had to have (through tears)

I have hurt friends because I spoke the truth but not in love

But I’ve also been hurt by close friends that spoke the truth to me but with every intention of breaking me down and humiliating me

I myself have grown and matured in Christ because of the people around me

People that I give permission to call me out

People that I regularly talk to to talk about my blind spots

But if we think we can do all of that growth on our own

We are fooling ourselves

We need other people in our lives if we want to mature as a believer

That’s why we are here

That’s why your leaders are here

That’s our hope and aim for you and the people you are sitting next to

So our a good friend, loves at all times, tells you the truth,

and finally:

Reflects Christ’s Character

John 15:12–15 (CSB)

“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father.

I want you guys to think about this: Jesus is your friend

Not just Jesus is FRIENDLY towards you

Jesus is your friend

Jesus is someone who loves us at all times and will always tell us the truth

But one of the primary ways we receive love from God isn’t just a spiritual download from heaven (which can happen)

But I have found one of the primary ways we receive love is through community—through our friends

When I am having a very rough day and a friend encourages me and prays for me

When I am off track in life and a friend calls me out

When I am having so much fun and laughing so hard my stomach hurts

When I feel lonely and just want another person in the room with me

Our friends have the same spirit of Jesus in them

They act on behalf of Jesus in our lives

The comfort we receive from them—comes from Jesus

The wisdom and correction we receive from them—comes from Jesus

The joy and laughter we share with them—we share with Jesus

The love that our friends have for us—is the same love Jesus has for us

I think if we see Jesus in those around us it changes the way we view all of our relationships:

Matthew 25:31–46 (CSB)

Parable of Sheep and Goats

“ ‘For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took me in; I was naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you took care of me; I was in prison and you visited me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and take you in, or without clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick, or in prison, and visit you?’

“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

“Then he will also say to those on the left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels! For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink; I was a stranger and you didn’t take me in; I was naked and you didn’t clothe me, sick and in prison and you didn’t take care of me.’

“Then they too will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or without clothes, or sick, or in prison, and not help you?’

“Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

“And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

We are to love others like we are loving Jesus

The Beauty of Friendships

Seed of the true friendship in heaven

How great will it be to be reunited with everyone

Conclusion

Friendships are a vital aspect of our Christian lives

They are one of the ways in which we know God deeper and grow in our faith

So I hope you guys can see your friendships in a new light

That you would see your friends through the eyes of Jesus

That you would thank God for the people he’s placed in your life

Our friendships aren’t just accidents, they are gifts from God:

I love this quote from my favorite author:

“In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

And if you are here today and don’t have friends, or feel lonely and isolated

You have a friend in Jesus

You have friends here

This is what church is all about—we are meant to be here for each other

We are friends with Jesus and friends with each other

So lets enjoy today! And be thankful for all of the wonderful people God has placed in our lives