family matters//prayer

Paul for Everyone: The Prison Letters (The Christian Household (Colossians 3:18–4:1))

The Christian Household

There was once a country ruled by a strict and severe president. He made laws about everything and enforced them rigidly. He laid down what time people were to get up and go to bed. He told them what food they should eat and how to cook it. He made regulations about who could own a car and where and when they could drive it. Nothing was left to chance. The country was tidy, but utterly repressed.

One day, quite suddenly, the president was taken ill and died. His successor declared that things were now going to be very different. All the old restrictions were to be abolished. People were to be free to do as they wished. There was great celebration, and everyone was thrilled to think of all the new possibilities that would open out in front of them.

The next day two cars were coming towards each other down the main street of the capital city. Both drivers were enjoying their new-found freedom; neither had been allowed, up to this point, to drive in this part of town. Neither driver was looking where he was going. The next minute, they had crashed headlong into each other. Fortunately, they weren’t going very fast, and both men, though shaken, were unhurt. They stood there, angry and puzzled. Their conversation became a defining moment in the new life of the country.

‘Why were you driving on that side of the road?’

‘Why shouldn’t I drive where I like?’

‘But people drive on the right-hand side of the road!’

‘Who says?’

‘Well, that’s the law, isn’t it? That’s the custom. That’s what we do!’

‘Not any more, we don’t. The president’s dead! All his old laws have been torn up. We’re free now! We don’t have to do what anybody tells us!’

By the time the police arrived, most observers were aware of one thing in particular: you can tear up the old rules if you like, as many as you want, but you’ll still need a Highway Code. There have to be ground rules for how and where you drive a car. And—this is the underlying point—if you have a Highway Code you are not less free to drive a car. You are more free—considerably more free—than if you don’t.

The modern Western world in the second half of the twentieth century has given a fair imitation of the repressed country after the death of the old president. New freedoms have burst upon us. The old rule books—the codes and conventions by which people used to order their lives—have gone. We can do what we like. This has been particularly so in the area of relations between the sexes in general, and assumptions about marriage in particular. Millions of people have claimed their ‘freedom’ to go about things in quite a different way from how their parents did. Any attempt to question this freedom provokes the instant response that surely nobody wants to go back to the days of the old president.

And yet. we would have to bury our head in the sand, stop up our ears and lose all contact with the real world if we wanted to ignore what has happened as a result. The one thing we can certainly say about the parts of the world that have claimed this ‘freedom’ is that relationships between the sexes, and especially within marriage, are more confused and destructive than ever. All too often ‘freedom’ has meant the same thing as the freedom of the drivers to drive all over the road without looking. Short-term freedom, maybe, leading to long-term captivity—slavery to chaos, injury and death. Nobody who drifts into a sexual relationship, let alone a marriage relationship, remains ‘free’ thereafter. We are formed by the relationships in which we live, whether they are wholesome and life-giving or ugly and destructive. How long does it have to be before someone comes to the conclusion that we need a new Highway Code for family relationships?

What should the basis of the code be for family relationships?

What Paul is offering in this passage is a very brief Highway Code for household relationships. It is remarkable for several reasons. Perhaps the first is that he doesn’t just tell wives, children and slaves how to behave (as many pagan moralists of his day would have done). Their duties are balanced by the corresponding duties of husbands, parents and masters. This is every bit as revolutionary as what people today often wish he had said—for instance, that all slaves should be freed at once (which was unthinkable in his day, where slaves did much of the work done today by gas, electricity and the internal combustion engine). Rather than dreaming of impossible freedoms, he prefers to offer practical guidelines.

Colossians 3:18–Colossians 4 (NLT)

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 3)

“Here’s how you’re to live on earth, wives,” says Paul. “Submit to your husband.” But notice Paul says wives are to submit to their own husband—not to submit to men generally, but to their own husband specifically. Women, don’t let anyone say, “Sister, I need to correct you on this, or deal with you on that,” because, unfortunately, there are men who seem to feel it’s their calling to go around the church correcting women. They have a “women’s ministry,” wherein they talk to women about the way to dress, behave, talk or think—and they are unscriptural in doing so, for Scripture says that wives are to submit to their own husbands exclusively.

19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 3)

People become bitter whenever expectations are unrealistically high. Husbands, your wife is not going to be God for you. She will not satisfy your deepest longing. Only the Lord will satisfy you. And only the Lord will satisfy her. Truly, if you love the Lord with all your heart, you will have no reason to be bitter with your wife.

20 Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary Chapter 3

This is written simply enough for any child to understand: Kids, obey your parents in all things. Don’t argue with them, but do what they say, for by this is the Lord well pleased.

21 Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 3)

Similar to Paul’s injunction to put away bitterness toward their wives, Paul warns fathers that unrealistic demands lead to anger and discouragement in the hearts of their children.

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 3)

What if I don’t agree with my company’s policy?” you ask. It might not be your flavor, or what you would do as a boss, but you are to obey those in authority over you unless what they demand is immoral—and then you better have Scripture and wise counsel to back your objection.

23 Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 3)

The man God uses is a man who knows how to work.

It was when Moses was tending his father-in-law’s sheep that God appeared to Him in the burning bush (Exodus 3).

It was when Elisha was plowing that Elijah cast the mantle of ministry upon him (1 Kings 19:19).

It was when Peter and Andrew were casting their nets that Jesus called them to be fishers of men (Matthew 4:19).

It was when Saul was laboring for the high priest on his way to Damascus that Jesus appeared to him and turned his life around (Acts 9).

Many people who want to be missionaries, ministers, or youth pastors are just sitting, “waiting on God.” But they will still be sitting at age seventy. The answer is to work. Whatever you’re doing, do it heartily unto the Lord—for it is then that God will tap you on the shoulder and give you even more significant tasks.

24 Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 3)

Watching Mother Teresa care for people with their open sores, stinking bodies, and bleeding wounds, an observer said to her, “I wouldn’t do what you do for a million dollars.”

“Neither would I,” Mother Teresa smiled.

The only motivation big enough for such service is an eternal reward.

25 But if you do what is wrong, you will be paid back for the wrong you have done. For God has no favorites.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 3)

If our sins are forgiven because of the finished work of Christ, what does it mean that:

Jeremiah 2:19  Your evil should discipline you,

your turning away should reprove you.

Acknowledge and see how evil and bitter it is,

your abandoning of Yahweh your God.

And you have no awe before me

Sin of any kind carries its own repercussions, and because God is neither a respecter of persons, none of us is exempt.

1 Masters, be just and fair to your slaves. Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 4)

“Bosses, make sure you’re acting justly, lovingly, equitably. Sure, you might be in a place of power and prominence now, but never forget you will one day stand before your Master and give account of what went on through your life and in your heart.”

Having said that, let me say this to those who are not masters, but employees. When things are done justly and equitably, sometimes it causes a problem in the hearts of the rank and file. “What’s the big idea of him making as much as I do? He doesn’t have nearly the education, experience, or work ethic that I have.”

Jesus spoke to just such an issue.…

Matthew 20:1–15 (NLT)

1“For the Kingdom of Heaven is like the landowner who went out early one morning to hire workers for his vineyard.

2He agreed to pay the normal daily wage and sent them out to work.

3“At nine o’clock in the morning he was passing through the marketplace and saw some people standing around doing nothing.

4So he hired them, telling them he would pay them whatever was right at the end of the day.

5So they went to work in the vineyard. At noon and again at three o’clock he did the same thing.

6“At five o’clock that afternoon he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, ‘Why haven’t you been working today?’

7“They replied, ‘Because no one hired us.’ “The landowner told them, ‘Then go out and join the others in my vineyard.’

8“That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first.

9When those hired at five o’clock were paid, each received a full day’s wage.

10When those hired first came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day’s wage.

11When they received their pay, they protested to the owner,

12‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’

13“He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage?

14Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you.

15Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’

chapter 4:2-9 read it

The Fellowship of Prayer

The best teachers make sure they get their pupils to take on some responsibility of their own.

It’s a lesson some never learn, in school, in church, or in the home. Most people, from quite small children upwards, are ready to rise to the occasion if asked to do something on their own account. Parents, clergy and teachers often hold back from making the request; maybe, they think, they’re not ready for it yet; maybe they’ll think I’m imposing on them. It’s not usually the case. As long as the request is made in the right way, people are glad to be valued sufficiently to be entrusted with responsibility.

Paul’s request for prayer indicates the way in which he saw his ministry , even though he was in prison . unless God opens the door for the word to go through—the door that lets the word into the hearts and lives of individuals —he will simply be making a useless noise. Paul was under no illusions. You can never take it for granted. The door doesn’t open automatically.

To ask the Colossian church to pray for him is to bind them together with him. but once you have prayed for someone, and once you realize they are praying for you too, a bond grows up which creates a relationship of love and trust ahead of any personal contact.

2 Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary (Chapter 4)

Want to be a good master in the home or job? The only way I know to do it is to pray. “Father, Your Son taught us to ask You to give us our daily bread. And now, Lord, help me to properly distribute the bread You send”

3 Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains.4 Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary Chapter 4

This intrigues me. Paul says, “Pray for us—not that we’ll get out of here, but that the Word will go forth from here.” I think if I were writing this, I would say, “Please pray for me that I’ll get out of here. I’m tired of being in prison.” Not so Paul. He says, “My desire is that God’s Word will go forth from here, that those around me will really see that Christ lives in me.” Truly, this is the way to pray.

A few months ago, I saw a billboard that said: Pray. It works. And I thought, True—but what if it doesn’t work? Most of the time we pray small prayers like, “Get me out of here.” And when they don’t work, we stop praying instead of learning what prayer really is. Prayer is not to get God to see things our way, but rather to get us to see things His way.

I read the story of an Arkansas woman who was confronted by a burglar who, after ripping the phone out of the wall, ordered her into the closet. After dropping to her knees, she asked the burglar if she could pray for him. “I want you to know that God loves you and I forgive you,” she said. The burglar looked at her and apologized for what he had done. Then he yelled out the door to his partner in a pickup truck, “We gotta unload all this. She’s a Christian lady. We can’t do this to her!” The woman remained on her knees, and the burglar returned the furniture he had already taken from her home. Then he took the bullets out of his gun, handed her the gun, and walked out the door.

This lady could have prayed, “Get me out of here,” but instead she prayed like Paul. “Could I pray for you?” she asked the burglar. That’s in harmony with the heart of God. How do I know? Because of what Jesus said on the Cross. He didn’t say, “Get me out of here,” He said, “Father, forgive them. They don’t understand what’s going on” (see Luke 23:34).

How I want to be more like Paul. I’ve got so much to learn in this arena—but I see the principle and the rightness of what Paul is modeling here as he prays not to get out of prison, but that he’ll have boldness and wisdom in any situation.

5 Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary Chapter 4

Walk wisely because people are watching you. Time is moving rapidly, so redeem it. Somehow we think we’re going to live a long time, but James was right when he said life is a vapor, a puff of steam (4:14). It’s going so fast. Make it count. How? Redeem it.

According to those who study such things, the average American will spend six months of his life waiting at red lights. People say, “I just don’t have time to pray”—but what if they decided that at every red light they would pray for people in their fellowships, for people in their communities who don’t know Jesus, for people in the world who have never heard His Name? What if they decided to keep an open Bible on the seat next to them in order to read a verse or two during every red light? People say they don’t have time to read, to pray, to memorize, to study. Yes they do. And I’m not even talking about getting up at three in the morning. I’m talking about just using the time they’re at stoplights. Redeem the time!

6 Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

Jon Courson’s Application Commentary Chapter 4

Salty speech? Years ago, salty speech connoted swearing. That’s not the salty speech Paul is talking about. No, the idea here is of salty French fries. I love salty French fries, but I’ve got to have a Coke to go with them, because they make me thirsty. So, too, the speech we use should create in people a thirst for the wine of the Spirit in our hearts