Grief

Introduction

Grief looks different for everyone. The way I experience grief may not be the way that you experience grief. The beautiful part of grief is the fact that God has a comfort for every type of grief we experience in our life.

Amy Carmichael, a missionary to India, eloquently listed the ways people attempt to cope with the unexplainable. Some try forgetting; some fill their lives with work; others remain aloof from the events that threaten to overwhelm them. Still others blindly submit to fate. She closed a poem with these forceful words:

He said, “I will accept the breaking sorrow

Which God tomorrow

Will to His son explain.”

Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.

Not vain the word, not vain;

For in acceptance lieth peace.

The major components of accepting death are both knowing and believing the Scriptures. God’s Word provides the theological bedrock on which to build an acceptance of death. Without such a foundation I would have been driven hither and yon by the winds of doubt, emotion and the opinions of men.

One way to handle grief is to understand where your hope lies. David writes “My hope is in You”. Deliverance begins with understanding where our hope lies. God is the essence of our hope, if we are searching for deliverance of any kind it has to begin with hope in God. It’s challenging when we are grieving especially at the expense of our own mistakes. This is the challenge that exist in this text. It’s challenging enough to grieve the loss of someone else let alone to be sad about the mistakes we have made. Often times when it comes to the mistakes we’ve made we have no one to blame but ourselves. It doesn’t mean that grief doesn’t exist but it just means that I have to find resolve in knowing that it’s God that justifies me and it’s God that can comfort me in any stage of grief.

Refrain from Complaining

One thing that prolongs grief or our ability to move forward is complaining. Complaining is paralyzing action that does nothing more than bring attention to what you truly need deliverance from. Understand that some things we are grieving about are parts of our life that bring the greatest discipline.

James 3:5–7“Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind.”

Be careful how you speak about tough times. Sometimes complaining is the obstacle that is getting in the way of deliverance. Complaining does one thing and one thing only, it just makes the condition worse. It’s one thing to talk about what you are going through it’s a completely different thing to complain because things aren’t getting better. Quit complaining and start displaying a sense of gratefulness and humility to understand that even though this time might be challenging it’s somethings that I have to deal with because I got myself into this predicatment. The issue with complaining is the fact that complaining does not ease the pain. If nothing else it intensifies it. We see this word pain or sorrow in the text or in hebrew “ke'ev” - in life there are some things you are going to go through in which the pain will be debilitating throughout the entire experience. There’s no amount of talking that can ease the pain, the only way this pain subsides is through the power of God.

Furthermore there’s some pain that exist that talking about it is not going to make things better. Considering that some pain exist that even not talking about it is going to make it better!

Trauma and grief manifest in our bodies in different ways. The psalmist suggest that his heart grew hot. Let’s be honest in this moment. We’ve tried to keep silent the pain grew, we’ve talked about it and the pain grew. We’ve become angry, we’ve become resentful and all we have left is depending on God to help the pain subside.

This is the type of pain that words can’t describe, all I can do is groan and sigh, but even in my groaning, even in my sighing I’m thankful for the holy spirit that is abble to decipher through my problems and petition to God on my behalf.

Romans 8:26 “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

The Response to Grief is Prayer

Life is fragile, one might suggest that life is short!

Psalm 39:4 ““Lord, make me to know my end, And what is the measure of my days, That I may know how frail I am.”

We have to talk to God, we need a healthy prayer life to get through the day to day challenges, but understand faith stands tall when we do not have all the answers. We would love to know the extent of our life, we would love to know what decisions to make, we would love to know what would have the greatest outcome, but one thing we do know is that we get one life, and that life we have will pass by faster than we ever realized. It’s imperative that we have hope in God, even in the midst of suffering we remain hopeful in the power of God no matter the circumstance. Grace comes to forefront when we realize that there are times that our suffering is truly because of us. Our suffering is because of our transgressions! The grace is that even when it’s because of our transgressions we serve a God that can rid us of suffering and transgressions even when it’s our fault!

Suffering Begets Discipline

Psalm 39:9“I was mute, I did not open my mouth, Because it was You who did it.”

I rejoice in the fact that even in my consequence the blessing is when I recieve the lesson, discipline is one the other side of obedience. Suffering can lead to God’s discipline. It’s similar to when Job had the ability to rejoice understanding that God is still in control. Job 2:10 “But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

It’s not that we accept the good with the bad, we have to accept the good and the bad! Does God not have the power to give us a solution for the bad? Is He not worthy of praise during the Good? I know you might believe that the suffering is too severe but understand the power of God, His hand can be the source of blessing and affliction, nonetheless God has the power to comfort us in every situation!

Will You Accept His Will?

Whatever you are going through right now, will you accept the will of God for your life? Can you submit to the will of God? My mother used to say “it’s not up for debate”. Understand that it’s God’s way or destruction, trouble last for a little while comparable to the length of what it means to be blessed by God. God’s power will put you in a place of submission but also will help us understand that in the fact of God’s power there’s really not much we can say! Furthermore no matter what we say God’s power still reigns supreme.

Accepting His will has forgiveness attached to it, can we ask God for forgiveness and rejoice in his mercy!

Jesus suffered but still accepted, will you in the midst of suffering still accept the will! Grief might be attached but the goodness of God will reign supreme.