Destroying God’s Gift
Notes
Transcript
Have you ever heard a Memorial Day message on Song of Solomon? I haven’t either. So this isn’t a Memorial Day message.
Just to say this: I am grateful for those who have sacrificed themselves for our nation, for my freedom. They saw a need, they saw something worth protecting, and they responded in a courageous way.
We should commemorate these people for what they have done and for the ideal that they push us towards.
Coincidentally, that is why we are studying Song of Solomon. Not because of our veterans, but because of God and his ways. He has given us a standard, and ideal that he is pushing us toward, and we are to commemorate that ideal, not just sitting back and clapping, but joining in and living that ideal.
A man and a women, coming together in marriage, images God in a way that nothing else in society does.
If you think about it,
So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
They are equally created in the image of God, equal in status, equal in responsibility to fulfill God’s commands and purposes.
But, though equal in status, they are not the same.
They are different in function.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
God gave man the Law, the one rule, to pass on to his wife, as leadership. He created the woman to help in that leadership.
We could talk about the biological differences. We could talk about the emotional differences.
But, we don’t have time.
But, man and woman, completely different were designed to come together as one.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
That description: one. Is the same description given to God.
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, equal in status, because they are all 100% God, but they are different in function, in how they equally complete their joint will. Different, they are unified as one God. Nothing separating them. Nothing hidden. The trinity.
Married was designed by God to be a picture of God to creation, so that everything that breathes might fall deeper and deeper in love with him.
But, society tries to tear that down every single day.
We are going through Song of Solomon for two purposes: to understand the text and to give a defense of marriage.
Last week, we studied chapter 1 and discussed the first part of the Glory of Sex.
Today, we are going to study chapter 2 and discuss the second part of the glory of sex.
Before we dive in, will you pray with me?
1. Character/Response: Exposition of the Text
1. Character/Response: Exposition of the Text
Let’s look at Song 2. As we read this passage, look for the character of the man, the lover, and the response of the woman, the beloved.
Last week, we took breaks. This week, we are going to read through the whole thing and then come back through for some comments.
I am a rose of Sharon,
a lily of the valleys.
Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the young women.
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my beloved among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
Let him lead me to the banquet hall,
and let his banner over me be love.
Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love.
His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
Listen! My beloved!
Look! Here he comes,
leaping across the mountains,
bounding over the hills.
My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
Look! There he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
peering through the lattice.
My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.”
My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes
that ruin the vineyards,
our vineyards that are in bloom.
My beloved is mine and I am his;
he browses among the lilies.
Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved,
and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag
on the rugged hills.
Such amazing poetry! Let’s go back and fill in what we were looking for.
A. The Character of the Lover
A. The Character of the Lover
Last week, we discussed how the woman was insecure about her appearance. But, her lover assured her of her beauty in his eyes. She responds and acknowledges the truth about her beauty. She is like a flower, beautiful and produces a fragrance, actions, that are beautiful to all who see and interact with her.
He agrees and ups the statement. Not only is she a flower, but compared to her, all the other girls who are flocking around are thorns. She is the one he dotes on and he will not turn to another in lust or for any other reason.
Looking at him, she feels safe. She feels secure. She feels protected in his strength and steadfastness.
So, she describes him:
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my beloved among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
She is a flower, tender on the ground. He is an apple tree, strong, protective, roots going deep into truth. Do you see the difference?
She loves to sit under his protection, because what he does, his fruit, is sweet to her.
What is his character? He is a man who is protective, caring, rooted. He looks after her needs, her cares, protecting her from storms, focused on admiring her alone.
We could talk about his steady pursuit of her and his kind, caring words, public displays of love, later in the chapter. But, we don’t have time.
We need to turn to the beloved.
B. The Response of the Beloved
B. The Response of the Beloved
In the face of the man who performs his God-given role, the beloved has three responses.
a. Verbal
a. Verbal
She has a verbal response. She doesn’t keep her love hidden. She is constantly telling her friends: Dude, this guys a hunk. I am so in love with him.
She is bragging about him to everyone.
This whole chapter, with the exception of the opening verses, is her talking about and describing the man to her friends.
It seems these days, most women get together to crab about their husbands. This woman doesn’t want to do that. She wants to exult him with her mouth, her words.
b. Emotional
b. Emotional
She also has an emotional response.
She is inside her house, and she sees him coming to her, the excitement bursting out of him:
Listen! My beloved!
Look! Here he comes,
leaping across the mountains,
bounding over the hills.
And then, he speaks, from verses 10-15, and she relates those words back to her friends. The beauty of his words, the way he says “darling” and “my beautiful one.” Inviting her to come outside and spend the day with her, because he can’t stay away.
To the point of saying: let’s get rid of all the things that distract us from our relationship.
Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes
that ruin the vineyards,
our vineyards that are in bloom.
She responds emotionally:
My beloved is mine and I am his;
he browses among the lilies.
She doesn’t want anyone else. Because he comes in excitement and quickness, but stays in slowness, like a stag slowly grazing, because he just wants to be with her, and she responds, wanting just to be with him.
You can just hear her gush.
Not, only does she respond verbally, and emotionally, but she responds sexually.
c. Sexual
c. Sexual
God designed women to respond to emotional connection sexually. Guys and gals are different that way. Guys move from sexual connection to emotional connection. Women move from emotional connection to sexual connection.
And the woman in Song of Solomon is no different.
She sees the character of this man, his protection, his care, his pursuit, and she cannot wait for her wedding night.
She describes him bringing her into the banquet hall. Everyone is around. He pronounces his love to her through banners. And she says:
Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love.
Raisins and apples were aphrodisiacs at this time. They often spoke of sexual things.
She is love-sick.
The Hebrew is a little more graphic.
Lay me on raisins and spread me out over apples, for I am faint with love.
Later, after she proclaims her devotion and commitment to him, she says:
Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved,
and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag
on the rugged hills.
Some of your translations might name a particular mountain range. That’s not in the Hebrew. The translators were trying to make sense of the wording. The rugged hills is actually cloven hills. Hills with cleavage, and the gazelle is bounding on them.
She yearns to be with him, because he has such great character, he is fulfilling his God-given role, and he dotes on her exclusively.
But, she understands that she cannot be with him yet. As she is relating her desires to her friends, she says:
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
Urging them to wait until the guy with character comes around before giving out their heart, and also urging them to wait until marriage to enjoy the ecstasies of physical intimacy and oneness.
Until then, she is content in his embrace.
His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.
2. The Glory of Sex, Pt2: Defense of Marriage
2. The Glory of Sex, Pt2: Defense of Marriage
Love that desires to be with a spouse is a great thing. And love which desires to consummate that love in the most intimate way is a beautiful thing.
And when done in the covenant of marriage, according to the ways of God, there is joy and sweet passion that is not found in any other experience of it.
Unfortunately, we are human, and we so often take the gift of God and twist it.
A. God’s Design
A. God’s Design
Last week, we looked at God’s design. He designed sex to be the consummation of a man and a woman’s love for each other, a consummation that would occur within the covenant of marriage.
I appreciate what James Hamilton writes:
“People who believe what the Bible teaches about sexuality are sometimes viewed as killjoys, as those who won’t let others have any fun. That’s not it at all! We want people to have the most pleasure with the least regret. We want people to be more than beasts, more than dogs or donkeys. We want people to have more than physical trysts that cheapen demean, and dehumanize. We want people to enjoy the most comprehensive interpersonal union of soul and body in the exclusive, permanent, monogamous, life-producing covenant of marriage.”
God’s design is good.
B. Man’s Perversion
B. Man’s Perversion
Unfortunately, we have perverted it.
And today, we are going to talk about three ways.
a. Sex Outside Marriage
a. Sex Outside Marriage
Sex can be an expression of love, a form of close intimacy.
Sex can be the release of raging passion, the result of wanting to feel really good.
Sex is pleasurable, because of the twisting emotional and physical elements.
And, we want it. God designed us to want it.
But, so often we look at it and say: we want it now.
There is a reason that people used to marry their children at a younger age. Hormones are rushing through their system, new feelings and desires that they don’t know what to do with and don’t have the experience of controlling.
Today, we have said: kids aren’t mature enough to make such a life-altering decision, so they shouldn’t get married yet. But, too few families give their kids tools to stay true. To realize that we are not asking them to forgo sex, but to defer it in order to receive the pleasure that God has designed it to be.
I don’t want to put the marriage night up on too high of a pedestal. Sex takes practice and gets better over time. As you work together with the one you are committed together to please each other and glorify God.
But, kids don’t have the only struggle. Even within marriage, temptations come to seek emotional connection with someone who is not one’s spouse and that emotional connection can lead to physical connection. Either way, both emotional affairs and sexual affairs are sins against God.
When we have sex with someone, we are connected to them, with our soul. It is a connection that cannot be broken, and wreaks havoc in our future as we seek true connection with our committed spouse.
The practice that we have before marriage of staying faithful to the call of God sets us up to remain faithful to the call of God later.
To stand up with the beloved and proclaim:
My beloved is mine and I am his;
he browses among the lilies.
There is no other.
b. Pornography
b. Pornography
Unfortunately, today, good Christian boys and girls do not have to turn to premarital sex to fulfill their desires for intimacy and pleasure. They can just turn to pornography and masturbation.
2/3 of men look at porn at least once a year and 1/3 of women do that. That number is low, because all this is self-reported.
Common sense media released a study:
“The report, "Teens and Pornography," found that 73% of teen respondents age 13 to 17 have watched pornography online—and more than half (54%) reported first seeing pornography by the time they reached the age of 13. 15 % before they turned 11. And, for better or worse, online pornography is shaping their views about sex and sexual relationships, as nearly half (45%) of teen respondents said that they felt online pornography gives "helpful" information about sex.”
What a tragedy.
Because every time someone looks at porn, they are seeking intimacy with that image, that video, that book. And if they masturbate to that sense of intimacy, they are training their mind that intimacy actually comes from that thing, not from a real person. And they will desire that more and more, to the point that a real person is not enough for them.
Real people are broken. Real people don’t meet expectations. Real people require a give as well as a take.
I have seen marriages after marriage suffer for decades because of the sinful choices of man or a woman in a Junior High, not to mention in their forties.
God designed sex to occur between a man and woman in the marriage relationship.
If that context is removed, there is pain beyond imagination.
What did the lover say in Song of Solomon?
Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the young women.
The world, whether it is in person or on the screen, whether we know who are spouse is or not, the world is supposed to be a thorn compared to our spouse or our future spouse.
c. Homosexuality
c. Homosexuality
The last perversion I have time to talk about is homosexuality.
Shouldn’t people who love each other be able to be with each other?
No. When we loosen the morality of God, we open the flood gates of horrors. Because of recent court decisions allowing homosexual relationships, certain districts are beginning to allow polyamory, which is just a nice name for polygamy. Other districts are starting to think about loosening laws on pedophilia.
God designed sex to be within marriage of a man and a woman. There is joy and pleasure in that committed union that is not found in any other system.
Including homosexuality. The Bible clearly writes:
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
There are many reasons why someone enters a homosexual relationship. And I am not here to give a discourse on why it happens. That is a discussion for another day. And my heart goes out to so many people who have turned to these relationships to fill what is lacking in their life or to heal from trauma.
The simple statement is homosexual relationships will not provide what anyone is looking for, just as pornography will not, just as sex outside of marriage will not.
True joy, true intimacy, true pleasure, only comes through the institution that God designed as a reflection of himself. Marriage.
If we look for those things in anything else, we will not find them, we will be unsatisfied, and we will create chaos and pain in our life.
If you struggle or have struggled with any of these perversions of the blessing of God. Please let me know, let someone else know, so that you can find freedom in God’s amazing redemption of your story. There is hope in the grace of God.