Love One Another - 1 John 3:11-18

INTRO

I went to the farmers market with Samuel.

As we walked through with him on my shoulders a lady stopped me and said, “You know you’ve got your clone on your shoulders, I mean he is your mini me.”

Think about how family traits and characteristics are passed down from parents to children.

You might have your father's eyes or your mother's smile.

Maybe you’ve inherited a knack for storytelling from your grandfather or a love for cooking from your grandmother.

These traits are visible reminders of our family.

My favorite band My Epic just put a new song about this that we carry our family with us.

It’s called Heavy Heart:

Your mother’s eyes” “You got your father’s smile” When they meet you, they always see who you look like despite the structure Of your bones, your heart is all your own but you will carry ours along With so many beats in one chest Sometimes you crush me with the weight of it Small as you are, you got a really heavy heart

Needless to say that had me weeping.

But as much as I love my little mini me,

I have to say, for those of us in Christ, we carry a heavy heart with the very beat of Christ.

Think of those family traits.

In the same way, as children of God, we are called to reflect His characteristics—most importantly, His love.

Just as family traits reveal our earthly heritage, the way we love reveals our spiritual heritage.

Big Idea: The defining mark of God’s children is Christ-like love.

In other words God’s children: love like Jesus

This is a clarion call to love like Jesus.

Examine your life and ask the question am I leading a loving life or is my heart darkened with hatred?

Let’s go to the text and see first

1. Love As Our Foundation

Look at verse 11

1 John 3:11 (ESV)

For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

Verse 11 naturally flows from verse 10.

Who is a child of God?

A child of God shows who they belong to by their actions

John says biggest indicator of do I belong to Jesus is do I love my brother and sister?

This stands in stark contrast to a child of the Devil.

A Child of the devil does not do what is right and even harbors hatred, potentially leading to murder.

John draws a crystal-clear line between children of God and children of the Devil,

between Those who love and Those who hate.

“We should love one another” (v. 11).

This isn’t just an introductory message.

This isn’t a soft precious moments thought.

This is a recurring theme and a recurring command throughout the New Testament.

Weaved in the gospels and throughout the new testament is the call to love one another.

John over and over again repeats the command to love through his letters.

It’s clear that loving one another is not just important—

it is essential.

John, following Jesus, calls us to love consistently and comprehensively,

continually and individually.

Our love for others flows from God's love for us.

It’s at the heart of the gospel.

Tim Keller has helped me understand this call to be loving and for that love to be rooted in and come from the gospel.

He points to The preacher and theologian Jonathan Edwards, who addresses this call to love.

If you don’t believe the gospel of grace, says Edwards,

if you believe you’re saved by your works,

then you’ve never done anything for the love of others or for the sheer beauty of it;

you’ve done it for yourself.

You haven’t helped the proverbial little old lady across the street just for her sake—or in the end, for God’s sake.

You’ve done it because then you can look at yourself in the mirror and know that you’re the kind of person who helps little old ladies across the street and you expect to go to heaven someday because of it.

It’s all selfish;

it will become drudgery,

And all the while you’ll believe yourself superior to others.

So we ask Keller says,

How can we escape this self-referential trap and truly become unselfish and loving?

If secularism, psychology, and relativism on the one hand

and religion and moralism on the other don’t actually give us what we need to be unselfish, what does?

The answer is, we need to look somewhere else besides ourselves.

We need to look at Jesus.

If he is indeed a substitutionary sacrifice, if he has paid for our sins,

if he has proved to our insecure, skittish little hearts that we are worth everything to him,

then we have everything we need in him.

It’s all a gift to us by grace.

We don’t do good things in order to connect to God or to feel better about ourselves.

What a meager upgrade to our self-image these good deeds would bring, compared with what we receive from understanding why Jesus died for us and how much he loves us.

If you really understand the cross, you are blasted out into the world in joyful humility.

Now you do not need to help people,

but you want to help them,

Why? To resemble the One who did so much for you, to bring him delight.

Whether you think they are worthy of your service doesn’t come into it.

Only the gospel gives you a motivation for unselfish living that doesn’t rob you of the benefits of unselfishness even as you enact it.

Illustration

A person I’ve quoted before is Count Zinzendorf

because the quote rules and is one of my favorites. (preach the gospel, die and be forgotten)

He helps me understand how the love of Christ calls to love

Count Nicholas von Zinzendorf,

was a German nobleman born into great power and privilege,

He was one of the founders of the Moravian Church.

Born in 1700, he dedicated his life and wealth to serving others, pouring himself out in acts of love and kindness until his riches were nearly exhausted.

What motivated such radical generosity?

At the age of nineteen, while completing his education, Zinzendorf visited the art gallery of Düsseldorf.

There, he encountered Domenico Feti’s painting, Ecce homo (Eh-K OMO), which depicts Jesus wearing a crown of thorns.

PICTURE

The image of the suffering Lord deeply moved Zinzendorf.

Beneath the painting, the artist had written an inscription that spoke to him profoundly: “All this I did for thee; what doest thou for me?”

This encounter transformed Zinzendorf’s life.

The Holy Spirit so inspired Zinzendorf with Jesus' sacrificial love, he committed himself to live a life of love and service.

He understood that to truly reflect Christ’s love, he needed to pour himself out for others, just as Jesus had done for him.

Take a moment to examine your life.

Are you truly living out the command to love?

This isn’t just about grand gestures or significant sacrifices—though those have their place—

but about the daily, intentional acts of kindness and love that reflect the heart of Jesus.

Start with your family. How can you show more love and patience to those closest to you?

Then, extend that love to your community.

Are you loving?

Remember, genuine love is seen in our actions, in the way we pour ourselves out for others, just as Christ did for us.

John says this should be the normal pattern

But sadly sin can weave in and create distance from Christ like love.

We see second John contrasts Love vs Hate

2. Love vs. Hate

Look at verse 12

1 John 3:12–13 (ESV)

We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.

To love our brothers and sisters is to stand in stark contrast to the first murderer in the Bible, Cain.

Cain’s actions revealed his true spiritual father, the Devil.

As Jesus taught in John 8:44

John 8:44 (ESV)

You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

The word “murder” here is brutal.

It means to butcher, to slay, to slaughter.

Cain was moved by jealousy, envy, and resentment.

Abel’s sacrifice was righteous and acceptable to God;

Cain’s was evil and unacceptable.

Why (not because God doesnt like vegans…but because Cain gave with a wicked and begrudging heart)

So when God accepts Abels and rejects Cains

Cain hated Abel for it and murdered his own brother.

John tells us in verse 13, “Do not be surprised,” or more accurately, “stop being surprised.”

Don’t be surprised when the world hates you

It’s natural for the world, represented by Cain, to hate you because its father hates you.

Don’t be caught off guard when people hate you.

It’s in their nature.

But we are called to something higher.

Here is what John is saying…Don’t descend to their level.

Now maybe you are thinking, woah ok I am not a murderer Billy.

Sure, but remember

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Have you murdered someone with your words, with your thoughts?

We must resist the urge to return hate with hate.

If we are in Christ then the gospel has changed us, and love is at the heart of the gospel message.

Where the gospel has taken root, love will be the natural fruit.

Look at verse 14:

1 John 3:14–15 (ESV)

We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

Loving others brings countless blessings.

One is the assurance that we’ve been born again and have eternal life.

John tells us we have a settled knowledge “that we have passed out of death into life because we love our brothers and sisters.”

In contrast, “whoever does not love abides in death”

Let’s be clear about what John is and isn’t saying.

He’s not saying that loving others earns us eternal life. (again twisted motivations as we already talked about with the proverbial little old lady)

Rather, loving others is evidence that we already have eternal life.

It’s a sign that we’ve moved from spiritual death to spiritual life.

This love,

born out of gratitude for all that Jesus has done,

gives us assurance of our place in God’s family.

Interestingly, the word “brother” (think old english brethren or for us today brother and sisters) appears 15 times in this letter, almost always referring to the family of God.

John calls us to love all people, but he emphasizes loving our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Paul echoes this in Galatians 6:10

Galatians 6:10 (ESV)

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

We are called to love others especially our brothers and sisters.

So do you?

Those whose lives are marked by hatred show that they’ve never been born again—

John says they abide in death.

They are spiritual murderers in God’s eyes.

John draws from what Jesus taught in the sermon on the mount.

Here Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase on Christ’s words from Matthew 5:

The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Chapter 5)

“You’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill.

John makes it simple:

no love, no life.

Love and hate are opposites.

Both can’t exist in the same heart.

Our love for one another is the evidence that eternal life is at the root of our being.

ILLUSTRATION

When we first moved into our house I was always frustrated when I went our carport at night.

You’d flip on this one single light bulb and you couldn’t see anything.

So I put an end to that.

I bought this ultra bright LED light that folds out…and it rules.

It’s like turning on the sun, I love it.

What’d interesting is if something pings my camera like a neighborhood cat.

I’ll just flip the light on and that cat runs for the hills.

As a pastor I’ve been in the room when someone comes to me or a group of leaders with a prayer concern that if we’re honest is really just Christian gossip.

At best it’s unintentional relational triangulation.

Let’s team up to “love this person.”

Anytime that happens whether it’s been me doing the christian-gossiping or whoever and someone responds with,

“Hey before you talk to me, have you talked to them? Can we pray for them?”

It’s like flipping the light in my carport on.

We need the light of Christ to shine brightly on the dark recesses of our hearts.

Our aim should be for the restoration and joy of our brothers and sisters.

Too often we treat the good news of the gospel too small and our hurt feelings as king.

The enemy would love for nothing more than for reconciliation and forgiveness to move out and bitterness and hatred move in.

Jesus warns us against this.

Matt 18 - Unforgiving Servant (nut shell version)

At the end of that story Jesus says

So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” ( Mt 18:35)

Examine your heart:

Are there areas where hatred or bitterness has taken root?

Have your words…your actions been marked by anger rather than love?

Remember that love is the evidence of our new life in Christ.

Let the light of Christ shine into the dark recesses of your heart, revealing and breaking any hidden hatred.

Take practical steps to live out this love.

When you find yourself frustrated or hurt, resist the urge to gossip or hold grudges.

Instead, seek reconciliation and extend forgiveness.

Approach others with the goal of restoration and joy, prioritizing the good news of the gospel over your hurt feelings. (DO IT TODAY)

John has shown has shown us the foundation of love and the dangers of hatred.

Finally he shows us that this love isn’t just sentiment it does something

lets see third

3. Love In Action

A quote that has sat with me is from John Mark Comer, “Love is the metric for spiritual maturity.”

“Love is the metric of spiritual maturity, not discipline. Discipline is a means to an end—to be with Jesus, become like him, and do what he did…Spiritual disciplines are not an end in themselves. They are means to an end….Disciplines set the soul on the path where it can come to know God and live present to others in love…Disciplines are the path, not the destination. I know some people who never miss a week of church, read through the entire Bible every year, and never watch R-rated movies (all good things) but who are still self-righteous, controlling, fueled by anger, blind to their own shadow, and, at times, incredibly unloving. And I know others who are in a season of just trying to survive parenting little kids and barely getting ten minutes a day to pray. But tired as they may be, they are becoming more loving with each passing year. Love is the metric to pay attention to.” _John Mark Comer

Real love, God’s love, isn’t just talked about; it’s demonstrated.

It’s tangible, not theoretical.

In our broken world, we often get confused about what real love looks like.

We talk, write, and sing about love endlessly.

But do we truly understand it?

Before the fall, Adam and Eve experienced true love in Eden.

But then everything went horribly wrong, and soon after, we see the first murder as Cain kills Abel.

The cycle of hatred and violence hasn't stopped; it’s only escalated.

The evil and violence and our world is staggering, but not surprising…it’s gone the way of Cain

Yet, death itself was defeated through the death of the Son of God, who “laid down His life for us” (1 John 3:16).

Look at verse 16

1 John 3:16 (ESV)

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

Many see a beautiful connection between John 3:16

John 3:16 ESV

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

and 1 John 3:16.

The first shows God’s love for us, and the latter shows how we should love others.

If you want to see love, look at the cross!

If you want to show love, look at the cross!

If you want to know love, look at the cross!

If you want to live love, look at the cross!

We understand what love is by considering Jesus' sacrifice.

He lived the life we should have lived but didn’t and died the death we deserved but now don’t have to face.

Love, at its core, is about self-sacrifice and substitution.

John tells us that out of “gospel gratitude” for Jesus laying down His life for us, we “ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.”

Warren Wiersbe put it well: “Self-preservation is the first law of physical life, but self-sacrifice is the first law of spiritual life.”

Jesus said it clearly in John 15:13

John 15:13 (ESV)

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Look at verse 17 of our text

1 John 3:17–18 (ESV)

But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

Saying, “I would die for you,” sounds noble, but would you also give me something to eat?

Could you share an extra shirt or a coat?

Could you let me sleep on your couch until I get back on my feet?

Could you help out with my bills or meds for my sick kids?

I don’t need you to die for me; I need a little help.

“Talk is cheap,” and this concept is echoed in the Bible.

In verses 17–18, John gets practical about love in everyday life.

Verse 17 uses a negative example based on verse 16.

Jesus had a life to give, and you have stuff to give.

Jesus saw our need and gave His life.

But you John says, seeing your brother’s need, choose to ignore it.

So he asks How can God’s love reside in you?

John knows something…our hearts control our hands.

A closed heart results in closed hands, showing that the heart hasn't been opened by the gospel’s grace.

James, Jesus’ brother, shares this concern in James 2:15–17

James 2:15–17 (ESV)

If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

Dead faith and dead love are useless to others.

John concludes with a simple truth: “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (v.18)

Love isn’t just about grand professions or eloquent speeches;

it’s an action expressed through deeds.

It is deed and “truth” to ensure our actions aren’t hypocritical.

Because God cares about both our motives and our actions.

He wants us to love and care for others as He loves and cares for us.

If you want to see love in action and in truth, just look at the cross.

ILLUSTRATION

The story is told of a pastor who was arrested in France during the 1700s.

He was a man who knew something of the love of God in his own experience.

In the little cell where he was confined awaiting execution was a small window in the shape of a cross.

After his death was found written above the cross, “height”; below it, “depth”; and at the end of each arm of the cross, “length” and “breadth.”

He had learned that God’s love was unfailing in the hour of adversity and death.

Real love is not just spoken but demonstrated in our actions.

It’s seen in how we treat our family, friends, and even strangers.

Examine your heart and your actions.

Are there areas where you need to grow in love?

How can you show love in practical, tangible ways this week?

Maybe it’s helping a neighbor,

Maybe it’s forgiving someone who has wronged you,

Maybe it’s simply being present and attentive to those around you.

Remember, disciplines are important, but they are a means to an end.

The end goal is to be with Jesus, become like Him, and do what He did—live a life of love.

Illustration

There was a man on vacation who was walking through downtown enjoying the day.

He passed a used-book store, and in the window he saw a book with the title How to Hug.

He was taken by the title and, being of a somewhat romantic nature, went in to buy the book.

He was very annoyed when he discovered that it was the seventh volume of an encyclopedia and covered the subjects “How” to “Hug.”

Everyone knows that the church is a place where love ought to be manifested, and many people have come to church hoping to find a demonstration of love—only to discover an encyclopedia on theology

Let’s strive to measure our spiritual maturity by our love, letting our actions reflect the love of Christ in us.

If you want to see love, look at the cross.

If you want to show love, look at the cross.

If you want to know love, look at the cross.

If you want to live love, look at the cross.

CONCLUSION

Illustration

Limping to the pulpit - so well loved by many.

Let us love like Jesus.

How does my understanding of Jesus’ sacrifice influence my ability to love others sacrificially?

When was the last time I examined my thoughts and words towards others? Have I “murdered” anyone with my words or thoughts?

Have I allowed any form of hatred, jealousy, or resentment to take root in my heart? How can I address these feelings, fight for reconciliation, and replace them with love?

Do I truly understand that my ability to love others comes from first experiencing and accepting God's love for me?