03 | 1 Peter 3:7 | Living According to Knowledge

CG QUESTIONS

Read 1 Peter 3:7. How would a husband come to understand his wife? Or, as a more literal translation might read, “live according to knowledge.”

What does it mean to show honor?

What are the two motivations Peter gives for a husbands honoring his wife? How do these two motivations in the second half of the verse serve as an effective motivation?

Consider the three weeks of this sermon series. How can the whole of the church, married or single, man or woman, adult or youth, both hold marriage in honor walk together according to God’s good design no matter our role or station in life?

INTRODUCTION

This morning we conclude our sermon mini-series on God’s Good Design.

Last week we considered God’s design for humanity in creation from the first chapters of Genesis.

I called upon the congregation to live with a biblical imagination.

A biblical imagination is a mind that does not seek to invent itself.

It is a mind filled with the Word, and discovers what it means to be human …

… to be male and female, created in the image of God

… according to the revelation of our Maker

… not the lusts of the flesh or the folly of the world.

Two weeks ago we turned to God’s instructions for wives in 1 Peter 3:1-6.

God takes wives, who in this world, and particularly in Roman culture …

… were easily subjugated, and brings them under His own authority and care.

After holding forth the imperishable beauty of their conduct and the lavish value of these women …

… he now reminds the husbands of these women that they are his children.

PRAY

3:30

LIVING ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE

Literal Translation: Husbands, live with your wives according to knowledge.

Because the emphasis is upon what the husband knows and what he does with this knowledge.

What does he know about his wife?

Everything that there is to know about her

Grudem strengths and weaknesses in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms

How does he come to know his wife?

Study of the Word:

The best way to know a person is to know the God who made her.

The husband will come to know …

… not only what God was doing when he made women,

… not only what God was doing when he made women,

… according to God’s good design for humanity

… but also what it means to struggle under the fall

… and what it means to be redeemed.

The greatest knowledge a husband can have for his wife is through the Gospel.

In fact, there is no greater honor a husband can show His wife than to lead her in redemption.

We will come back to this at the end of our passage today.

6:00

The center of the instruction of this verse is …

SHOWING HONOR

Honor is a product of priority and sensitivity

ILL: If a fast ball is flying toward your upper body what do you cover?

You honor your head and face by showing it priority and knowing its sensitivity.

Husbands, the wife has already stepped under your covering in submission (v1-6).

She has shown a disposition to yield.

Now you step up to cover.

To prioritize her and be sensitive according to your knowledge of her.

This is why it requires knowledge in order to show honor.

You must know her for whom you will lead, protect and provide with sensitivity.

8:00

Honor the Weaker Vessel

Both men and women are vessels.

We are creatures endowed with distinct gifts, abilities, dispositions and callings.

How is the wife the weaker vessel?

Two ways …

The first way, I have to confess, I don’t know.

You’d have to ask each husband of each wife.

Because is instructed to know.

They know their wives and they live with them according to this knowledge.

They know her specific strengths and her specific weaknesses.

And the husband shows her honor, bringing on her honor and not disrepute …

… for the ways that he has found that his strength compliments her weakness.

The second way flows throughout the context of this middle section in 1 Peter.

Submission to Authority: governments, masters, husbands.

This short instruction to husbands follows the instructions for wives to be subject to their own husbands.

In light of the previous instructions to wives, husbands have the God-given strength of authority.

The question is, for what will he leverage this authority?

The husband should use his authority and power not to strengthen and esteem himself, but his wife.

He is to use any strength given by the Lord to compliment any weakness in his wife … …just just

Follow the flow of the argument:

1 Peter 3:1-6 is a call for Christian wives to submit to their unbelieving husbands in hopes to win them by the respectful and pure conduct before their God.

But what of the women who are married to believers?

1 Peter makes it clear to these men that their wives are to find safety, even honor, under their authority.

12:00

Honor that which is distinctively female

“showing honor to the woman” – The word for woman is a word rarely used in household codes such as these. It literally means, “the feminine one.”

The man looks at the woman, and so comes to a knowledge of his wife such that he knows what is uniquely woman about her.

Instead of allowing this to be cause for shame, oppression or a weakness to be exploited …

… he steps up to honor the very attributes that make this particular woman distinctly female.

Not every woman is feminine in the same way.

But the husband takes time to know his wife.

The Christian husband is not a narcissist.

He is not enamored by his own masculine strengths and abilities.

This is what we see happening in Romans 1.

It speaks of exchanging the truth for a lie by worshipping the creature rather than the Creator.

Specifically, these men began to be consumed with passion for one another.

How does this work?

They became narcissists.

Instead of honoring what is distinctively feminine about the women in their midst, they became enamored with themselves.

The husband is called to know his wife, as the woman she is, and to honor what he finds.

It’s the error we see today when men, who by God’s good design are strong …

… figure that what that means is that, if they are by nature strong, what they really should be is really, really strong!

And they should go around this world flexing their strength …

… and using it not for the good of others, but as a public display of just how strong they are.

Some would call this toxic masculinity.

Sure, I agree that it is toxic.

But there is nothing masculine about it.

Because Jesus, the mightiest man the world has ever known, leveraged his every strength and authority …

… not to show just how strong he was

… but to lead, protect and provide for the weaknesses of those whom

… his Father in heaven put under his authority and care.

16:00

Honor by Affirmation

Honor involves letting her know her worth by affirming, involving and displaying her gifts.

Affirmation is more than simply saying well done.

Affirmation is leveraging your authority to create opportunity for her to flourish in all of her rich ability.

This is one of the most beautiful things of submission and honoring.

The wife steps under the husbands covering:

That is, the leadership, provision and protection of the husband.

But the covering is large enough for her to expansively exercise her manifold giftedness.

ILL: We see this all over normal human life.

In football, the talent and ability and giftedness is on the field, but the leadership, protection and provision is on the sideline.

The coach creates space for the players to flourish and so be honored.

17:30

APPLY

Remember, the wives display an imperishable beauty.

Their vessel may have an exterior frailty, even that which could be called weakness …

… but the beauty of their conduct, in respect and purity before God and their gentleness and quiet spirit before their community, is an imperishable beauty.

At the end of v4, we saw that these women are lavishly precious before God.

Husbands are to honor even as they see God honoring them here.

God leverages all the authority of heaven to display the imperishable beauty and lavish value of these wives.

So now the husband is uniquely called out to honor his wife.

18:30

TWO MOTIVATIONS

Heirs With You

Peter keeps reminding us of the living hope with which he opened his letter.

1 Peter 1:3–5 (ESV) Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Husbands are not wives; wives are not husbands.

They are different vessels uniquely created by God.

So much of scripture simply doesn’t make any sense unless this is reality.

But Peter heads off the foolish vanity of self-centered desires by reminding husbands and wives they they are both heirs of the same grace.

The ground at the foot of the cross is level.

God takes wives, who in this world might be easily subjugated, and brings them under his own authority and care.

After holding forth the imperishable beauty of their conduct and the lavish value of these women …

… the Lord now reminds the husbands of these women that they are his own children.

Husbands, know your wives and honor your wives …

… because these women are not only your wives

… they are your sisters in Christ, children of your Father, and fellow inheritors of salvation.

Let me put it this way, if you would abuse your authority and so dishonor your wives I must ask the sincere question if you yourself are a recipient of grace.

20:30

Prayers May Not Be Hindered

The moment a man sets himself up as a king in his home…

… such that he lords his authority over his wife

… he is actually setting himself up in opposition to the King of heaven.

You’ve heard it said, a man’s home is his castle.

This may be so, but every earthly ruler and authority will be made a footstool under the feet of the King of heaven.

No, a man’s home is his ministry.

He leverages his every authority and provision and grace to point his family to Jesus Christ, the one true King and Savior.

He tells his wife and his children by his love and honor, his wisdom and strength …

… that though he exercises authority in the home, God is the true and greater King.

He tells his wife and his children by his love and his honor …

… that though he provides for and protects his home, God is the true and greater Savior.

The moment the husband lays aside his responsibility to know and to honor, to understand and to love, to protect and provide, he sets himself up as a rival king over and against the grace of God.

He becomes one, though installed by God’s authority …

… who has wielded that authority against his commission.

He is no longer a rightful authority, but a rebel and usurper.

How and why would God answer the prayers of a rebel against his own will?

Phew, good thing your not a rebel, right?

Are you sure about that?

Yes! I take time to know my wife, I honor my wife, I protect and provide for my wife.

Okay, but do you pray for your wife?

Prayerlessness is faithlessness.

Worse than that, it is a sort of rebellion in and of itself.

Prayerlessness says that by your own will, power and authority you can flourish.

Prayerlessness is pride.

It declares the same rebellious slogan that sin does: On my own, I can live.

On my own, I can be this husband Peter speaks of.

24:30

APPLY

I think there is a powerful and direct application for these two motivations for the husbands in this room.

And for all who would hold marriage in honor.

Husbands, look at your wives and marvel!

She is an heir of the kingdom of heaven!

And the Lord has brought her to you to live with according to knowledge.

The salvation God has secured for her in Christ is imperishable, undefiled and unfading.

C. S. Lewis It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which,if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship. … it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.

Husbands … and those of you have taken the time to actually know your wives …

… the woman you live with is no ordinary mortal.

She is being transformed from one degree of glory to another.

When was the last time you marveled at knowing your wife.

I tell you, honor will quickly follow.

26:00

Know your wives and pray for them!

When I first preached on this passage about 8 years ago, I had been sick for a week or so.

The day before preaching, rather unexpectedly, I began to feel better.

I stopped Sandy in the hallway of our home and asked her, “Have you been praying for me?” “I always pray for you, all the time.”

I knew that.

I knew it had to do with how I was feeling.

But sometimes I am awed by her prayer for me.

Jeremiah, pray for Sandy.

Husbands pray for your wives.

Is there any better way to bring to honor our wives than to pray for them?

27:00

APPLY

A note for those who are young and/or single among us.

Boys and men, if you want to marry one of God’s daughters, one of the heirs of the grace of life, let me ask you, are you ready to honor her?

Are you prepared to take the time that is required to know her?

Are you prepared to lay your life down for her?

There is nothing more honorable than to use your every power and ability to honor those who are more vulnerable than you.

This is what Christ has done for her and it is your job to point her to him.

Girls and women, that boy may be funny and handsome and intelligent, but …

Does he pray for you?

Have you seen how he honors the women around him?

Will you please call out such honor in the boys and men of this generation?

It is men of prayer, strength and sacrifice that are worthy of respect and admiration.

Don’t get caught up trying to catch the eye of a thoughtless fool who ultimately only thinks of himself and is in reality a narcissistic rebel against the King of heaven.

Don’t honor such men.

Don’t esteem them, while passing by those boys and those men who have labored quietly and with diligence to honor you and to protect you.

When you esteem fools you teach those who would honor you to become foolish.

Don’t even let your talk turn to ooing and awing over some boy, unless it is to oo and aw over his masculine leadership and steadfast humility.

30:00

The Gospel

I hope you have seen the mark of Christ in today’s message.

Who is it that has leveraged the authority of heaven for the honor and protection of the vulnerable?

Who has come from heaven’s throne to dwell among us, to know our every sin and temptation, our every suffering and trial?

Jesus is the true and greater husband.

You and I aren’t just weaker vessels, we are broken vessels.

Jesus, God the Son, came to live in the shambles of our brokenness though he himself did not sin.

Where we deserved to die for our rebellion against God’s authority he protected us by taking our place.

Jesus, having lived a life displaying all the authority of the kingdom of heaven …

… willingly suffered and died on a cross

… so that all who repent of their sin

… and trust in his sacrifice

… would be saved from the wrath of God against sinners.

Where we were without hope in the world, without provision, Jesus is the bread of life.

Jesus not only died in our place, but also rose again that we might have new life in Him.

Jesus knows us.

He has honored us.

And he has given us the eternal inheritance of heaven’s glories that rightfully belongs to him alone.

Jesus is the husband who has brought his bride, the church …

… into his house, under his authority, protection, provision and honor.

35:00