Proverbs 5-7: The Talk

Introduction

Professor at NOBTS committing suicide after being discovered in the Ashley Madison website scandal in 2015. Unfortunately, not an uncommon story. A number of pastors in ministry involved in sexual scandals over the years.

20 years of ministry - I have seen the destructive nature of sexual sin. I have had both men and women confess adulterous affairs in my office. I have cried with couples who struggled with infidelity.

On our campus this morning are people who are struggling with sins like pornography, extramarital affairs, single people engaging in sex outside of marriage without any consideration for God’s design for sex within marriage.

Some of you have been severely hurt by sexual sin. Some have even endured sexual abuse.

Solomon was not afraid to talk about the destructive nature of sexual sin with his son, and this morning, we need to have a biblical talk about danger of sexual sin. In Proverbs 5-7, Solomon composed three lengthy warnings about the dangers of sexual sin. I want to survey these warnings and show you two truths to help you honor the Lord with your sexuality.

Sexual sin is destructive.

You live in a culture that worships sex as god. Culture tells you the highest form of pleasure and the greatest satisfaction is found in sex. If you hold to a biblical sexual ethic, then you are close minded and enslaved to religious bigotry. Reality: God’s design is freeing, and the enemy’s lie is enslaving. I don’t want you or your children to be enslaved to the lie.

Solomon didn’t want his son to believe the lie of the enemy either. Solomon saw how sexual sin affected his father, David. Sexual sin eventually affected Solomon as well.

Solomon writing to his son. If writing to his daughter, he might have written a bit differently. The warning to his son: watch out for the forbidden woman. The forbidden woman is any woman that lures you sexually who is not your wife.

A clear message: sexual sin is destructive. Solomon lays out how easy it is to get trapped in sexual sin:

Alluring words (Proverbs 5:3, 6:24, 7:13-21.) Note the clear warnings in Prov. 5-6, while 7:6-27 is a parable. In Proverbs 7, Solomon describes what he saw - a young man being seduced. In all three chapters, the forbidden woman entices with her words. Flattery and flirting that causes you to wish that your spouse would pay you as much attention. Lingering conversation with the opposite sex turns into rationalizing sexual sin (See Proverbs 7:14). (“It will be all right – God wants us to be happy – I’ve lived for Him, He owes me a little happiness. He will always forgive me later.”) Before you know it, you’re in an affair. Or, the alluring words that culture lead you to believe that you get to define sexuality instead of embracing God’s design for sex. Obviously, I’m not telling you to never have a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, but I am telling you to be on guard. Your heart is not neutral. Or, the words you tell yourself.(Rationalize).

Physical lust (Proverbs 6:25). We’re enticed by what we hear and what we see. It’s one thing to see beauty, but it is sinful to lust after beauty. To lust is to want someone else for your satisfaction. Our culture encourages lust. Think about the images that flash before your eyes everyday that encourage you to lust. You believe the lie that it’s ok to look as long as you don’t touch. Matthew 5:27 - if you are given to lust, you’ve already been trapped. Your heart is not neutral. Don’t think that the things you put before your eyes don’t have an affect on you. For some of us we’ve become numb to what we allow our eyes to see. Your lust is leading you away from God and your spouse.

Poor judgment. Letting yourself be drawn into alluring words and not guarding against lust leads to poor judgment (Proverbs 7:22-23). You make a decision to follow your lust rather than following the will of God. The sin is committed, and then you say, “I don’t know what I was thinking.” That’s the problem. You weren’t. You weren’t thinking biblically. You were thinking about you - what you wanted in that moment. You were thinking about no one but yourself. Sexual sin is extremely self-centered.

The result of sexual sin:

Regret (Proverbs 5:11-14). Solomon lays it out for his son. If his son does not listen to his father’s teaching, there will come a day of regret. Regret and shame always follow sin. Some of you are there this morning. Your marriage is falling apart because of sexual sin, and you wish you could go back and change things. You let yourself slide into pornography again, and it’s eating you up on the inside. That is the consequence of sin. You find yourself saying, “I wish I would have listened…”

Consequences (Proverbs 5:5-6, 14; 6:29-35; 7:22-27). Solomon is clear. You’re not going to get away with it. Sexual sin will cost you your time, resources, reputation, and ultimately your life (Proverbs 5:9-10, 14). Sexual sin destroys. There’s destruction to your marriage. There’s destruction to someone else’s marriage. There’s destruction to your own soul as you deal with the weight of your own sin.

https://apnews.com/article/google-maps-lawsuit-north-carolina-death-f4707247ee3295bf51bbcb37bd0eb6c8 - Culture gives you no warning regarding sex - BUT the Bible give clear warning for your good.

Overcome sexual sin by treasuring your most important relationships.

You must treasure your relationship with God more than you treasure earthly pleasure.

Proverbs 5:1-2, 6:20-24 - Remember - teaching = torah. Solomon’s teaching grounded in the Word of God. Proverbs 7:4-5: “Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’ and call insight your intimate friend, to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.”

Wisdom is a person that you are called to have a relationship with: Jesus Christ. The closer you are to Christ the more you will be able to flee sexual temptation.

In Christ, you see sex for what it is: a gift from God to be enjoyed by married couples as a celebration of oneness (Gen. 2:24). God created sex as a uniting act - a physical coming together to remind you of the covenant you made with your spouse. Sex is not just a perk of marriage, it’s a celebration of oneness.

Sex outside of God’s design for marriage simply cannot produce the kind of joy that God intended for you to experience within your marriage.

The oneness you enjoy in marriage points you to the union you have with Jesus. An even greater joy and satisfaction than marriage awaits you - eternal union with Christ - when the bridegroom returns for the bride. Sex is a reminder of your wedding day and at the same time points to a greater wedding day (Psalm 16:11).

Jesus, the lover of your soul, proved His love for you by dying in your place, taking the penalty for your sin, and rising from the dead. If you believe in Him and place your faith in Him you are brought into an intimate relationship with Him. You experience oneness and love like never before, and He teaches you to love in a selfless way. Even if you never marry in this life, or you never experience sex as God intended, His joy is for you.

Jesus is where true love, and true companionship is found. He will never reject you. You always overcome sexual temptation by growing in intimacy with Christ.

You must see your spouse as a precious gift from God who is worth treasuring.

Proverbs 5:15-23 – graphic and intimate language. Don’t drink polluted waters – drink from the waters of your spouse – be intoxicated with her love, her beauty. God has blessed your marriage bed! Enjoy the gift of sex that God has given you!

Pursue your spouse – Not primarily sexually but relationally. Go on dates, take a walk, make time for conversation, prayer, etc. Do not take your spouse for granted.

Be satisfied with your spouse. Ask God to help you see your spouse as His gift to you. Knowing that Staci is God’s gift to me – in the sovereignty of God – in eternity past – He chose to place us together in this life. I’m a fool if I look for relational satisfaction with a member of the opposite sex outside of my marriage. I see Staci as the wife of my youth.I constantly remind myself that 16 years ago she gave herself to me. Pictures in my office – a reminder – she is my bride who I covenanted to be with.

If not married, pray for your future spouse and make relational decisions with your future spouse in mind.

Be dissatisfied with the lie the world tells you. A biblical sexual ethic is far more satisfying than the garbage the world sells you because a biblical sexual ethic is grounded in real, sacrificial love. I have no regrets in living God’s way. I have no regrets that Staci is the only woman that I have ever been with. Instead, I have joy in knowing that I am living out the will of God in this area of my life.

You must treasure your children enough to have candid conversations about sexuality.

Solomon not afraid to have a candid conversation with his son, but many of you are afraid to have candid conversations about sexuality with your children.

According to commonsensemedia.com - 54% of teenagers have viewed pornography by the age 13. If you are allowing your children unfiltered, unlimited access to a screen, you are being foolish.

If you are not teaching your children God’s design for sexuality, you are being foolish. You are inviting the enemy to educate your children, and that will be disastrous. The world will educate through media, classmates, etc.

You will only have candid conversations with your children if in your own life you are convinced that God’s sexual ethic is far better than what the world offers. If you are not pursuing God’s design for sexuality, you are not going to be a help to your children in this area.

Dads, you must talk to your sons. Moms, you must talk to your daughters. You need a plan. You need to be consistent. You have to keep the dialogue going. (I used a resource: passport to purity. Helped me to start the conversation and keep the conversation going.)

The cure for sexual sin is a changed heart – Who will you listen to? The voice of the forbidden woman/man? Or the voice of the One who really loves you and wants to change you? There’s a better way than what this world offers. This morning, turn to Him in faith. Find true joy by believing in His death and resurrection.

Has sexual sin broken you? Repent. Come clean. You can’t heal until you admit your sin. It will not be easy to come clean, but it’s the only way to restoration. Let Jesus put the pieces back together.