Why Does God Feel Distant?

52 Blue

Awhile back I read an interesting story about an unknown whale that is referred to as 52 Blue.

52 Blue is whale of unidentified species (believed to be a blue whale) that calls or communicates at the unusual frequency of 52Hertz.

While other whales communicate in much lower frequencies.

Because of this it’s believed that this whale may be either deaf or malformed in some way.

Scientists originally discovered this whale in 1989 using hydrophones to pick up it’s calls, and there have been expeditions to find the whale, but up until this point, the whale has never been sighted.

But what has captured people’s attention is that because it communicates at too high a frequency, it calls out but never gets a response.

As a result of that, others have dubbed this whale “The Loneliest Whale”

It’s a sad story when you think of this whale that is calling out, trying to communicate, trying to connect, but to no avail

In a way, I think this story serves as a great metaphor for how we can feel at times our spiritual lives.

How many of you feel like or have ever felt like you and God are on different frequencies?

It could be your prayers seem to hit a brick wall.

Hard life situations make you feel emotionally distant or disconnected from God.

It’s kind of neutral, but your relationship with God doesn’t feel real or alive, when there are people around you that seem to be experiencing God in powerful ways.

As Christians, we will face times in our lives where God feels distant, where we feel disconnected, where our relationship with Him doesn’t feel as exciting or alive as it used to.

And that can be a very discouraging place to be.

I’ve had a handful of conversations in the past year with individuals that have felt this way and don’t know why or what to do about it.

So I thought this would be a good topic to tackle to help us in those times we feel disconnected.

The title of my sermon is Why Does God Feel Distant?

Main Points

The answer to this question can be very different depending on the person asking it.

There are some questions that are better answered with another question, and I think this can be one of those times.

So rather than giving a simple answer….I want to give us four different questions that we can ask ourselves.

These are more or less the questions I’ve asked when I’ve counseled others.

And while these questions don’t cover every situation, I think it provides a good starting point.

Encourage to take notes….even if your relationship with God feels alive right now, these questions may be useful in the future.

Because as we’ll find out, the experience of distance from God is not something new or unique to a few individuals.

So if you have your notes, write this first question down:

Question #1 - Do I have any unconfessed sin in my life?

King David wrote this in Psalm 32:3–4 “3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah”

David wrote about the weight of unconfessed sin concerning a time when he was silent and unrepentant towards a sin he committed.

David had committed adultery with a woman named Bathsheba, but it took the confrontation of a prophet for David to actually repent.

And he is saying here that it weighed on him, God’s hand was heavy upon him….meaning there was serious conviction in his heart.

He knew to do something, but wasn’t doing it.

That’s what unconfessed sin is.

Addressing unconfessed sin does not mean you have to scour your past out of fear to remember everything you have done wrong so that you can ask forgiveness…..it is something that you know what it is, but you haven’t dealt with it.

That thing that is always sitting in the back of your mind.

When we have unconfessed sin our lives, there is this discord in our relationship with God, not because God is unforgiving, but because God in His mercy will not turn a blind eye to a cancer that seeks to destroy us.

Discord in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have lost your salvation or no longer have a relationship with God, it just means there is something that needs to be made right.

We know this in our human relationships

When my wife and I get into an argument about something (this is purely hypothetical by the way….) and say hurtful things to each other out of anger….

We don’t stop being married, but any married couple knows that feeling when the emotional wall goes up.

Some of you may even have had that experience on the way to church this morning.

There is tension in the relationship

And couples that can’t apologize or admit fault, and simply try to just move forward in their relationship as if nothing happened…..they either don’t last or end up with a very poor and emotionally disconnected relationship.

Unconfessed or un-dealt with sin, sows discord in our relationship with God, because He is a holy God, and we are called to be Holy as He is Holy.

Dishonesty about something when we are told to walk in truth

Hatred/unforgiveness towards someone when we are commanded to forgive

Sexual immorality when we are charged to live in purity

Pride and Selfishness where there is supposed to be love

Disobedience (God asked you to do something, but you haven’t)

We must be repentant of our shortcomings, but here is the incredible thing about our God…David didn’t stop with those verses in 3-4….he continued on and said this:

Psalm 32:5 “5 I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah”

We have a merciful, loving, and gracious God, that doesn’t hold our sin against us in vengeance and spite (like we can tend to do in our human relationships)….he is eager to forgive those who confess.

I’ll also briefly mention this before moving on, sometimes it’s not just sin we haven’t confessed to God, it’s sin we haven’t confessed to others.

There may be some things that you repented of before God, but God is saying, ok, now you need to confess to your brother, sister, wife, husband.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16 ESV)

There are times where I’ve sinned, and I have confessed it to God and God forgave me, but He wouldn’t let me move on until I confessed and sought forgiveness from my wife as well.

And ashamedly, at times it has taken me way longer than it should have.

But there is freedom and healing when you confess to God and to those that need to hear it.

If there is unconfessed sin in your life, that’s where you need to start.

Because if it is ignored long enough it can leave us emotionally callus in our relationship with God, and we can’t even pray or read the Bible honestly anymore because when we do we feel that conviction.

And we don’t want to get to a place where that conviction keeps us from seeking God anymore.

That leads us to questions #2.

Question #2 - Am I actively seeking God?

This might seem like an obvious one, but I’ve had conversations with people who are struggling or feel distant from God, and I’ll ask

Are you reading your Bible? “not really, it’s hard to understand”

Are you praying? “only when I feel the need”

Are you going to a church? “I haven’t had time to do that”

These things are how relationship is built with God.

Bible Reading

Romans 10:17 “17 So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”

Hebrews 4:12 “12 For the word of God is living and active….

Prayer

Philippians 4:6–7 “6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Church

1 Corinthians 12:27 “27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.”

The Church, not the building, but the people, are the body of Christ, meaning we represent Christ.

If you are in a season where God feels distant it’s especially important to be connected to a church body, and to spend time with others who feel close to God.

You aren’t going to feel very connected in any relationship if you aren’t spending time investing in it.

It would be the same thing as if a couple came to me saying “I don’t feel very close or connected with my spouse.”

How often do you do activities together? “Oh we spent a lot of time together next to each other on the couch as she streams her show on her phone and I stream the game on my phone.”

What kind of things do you talk about with each other? “We’ll talk when we need to get things off our chest”

When was the last time you went on a date? “Oh…we dated 15 years ago, but we’re married now.

If there is not active investment in a relationship, it is going to feel distant.

Now, for some people, especially new believers, it could very well be you just aren't sure how connecting to God through some of these means actually works.

What do I say when I pray?

I don’t know how to study the Bible

If you feel like that is you, please, talk to one of the pastors or elders here, we would be happy to walk through some of that with you and provide resources….stop by our connect table and they can help point you in the right direction.

But we have to actively pursue God!

Now I can hear the thoughts of some of you….you’re thinking “I am doing all those things regularly, but I still feel disconnected and distant…..”

Which leads to the 3rd question to ask if God feels distant.

Question #3 - Am I letting my emotions dictate my faith

BEING connected to God by faith, is not the same thing as FEELING connected to God.

But if God is always present and I am connected, then why do I sometimes feel that he is so far away, even when I am praying, I am reading my Bible, I am going to Church….I’m doing everything I know to do.

Everyone goes through what has been labeled as “dry seasons” or “wilderness experiences” in their walk with God.

These seasons can range from feelings of numbness to feelings of doubt, to feelings of agony.

King David plead to God in Psalm 10:1 “1 Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”

David had expectations of God’s justice and involvement in human affairs, but the sufferers were not experiencing justice, and so he questions God presence.

People often equate the presence of difficulty with the absence of God.

The presence of injustice with the absence of God.

So David is esentially crying out “Where are you?”

Mother Teresa wrote about: "a spiritual dryness, an apparent absence of God from her life, and, at the same time, a painful long­ing for Him.”

This was at a time she was actively serving Him in Calcutta, India.

Theologian and author CS. Lewis in his book A Grief Observed, grapples with the loss of his wife and expresses feelings of abandonment by God.

The great Baptist preacher Charles Spurgeon battled with depression and experienced periods of spiritual darkness despite his prolific ministry and strong faith.

The late Author and Pastor Eugene Peterson wrote about his experience of feeling far from God after returning from Bible school. He described this period as a time of disillusionment and spiritual dryness. It was this spiritual emptiness that caused him to prioritize an intimate relationship with God over theological intellectual pursuits.

So if you feel that God is distant, even in your pursuit of Him and in your ministry….I know this doesn’t make it easier, but you are in good company.

There may be no reason we feel disconnected or far from God, other than this simple fact: God is teaching us to live by faith, and not just the feeling of faith.”

He is forming the kind of faith in us that is talked about in Hebrews 11:1 “1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”’

Our emotions don’t dictate our faith.

Faith is the foundation of our relationship with God.

How long is it going to last? No-one can answer that.

What can be done in seasons like that? We keep showing up.

When the Bible doesn’t feel life-giving: Keep meeting with God.

When prayer feels dry and lifeless, you do what Theologian D.A. Carson said, “you stick with it….you “pray until you pray,” eventually we come to delight in God’s presence, to rest in his love, to cherish his will.

When feelings wax and wane, you remind yourself of God’s promises to you.

Story of journeying up a mountain

Faith can kind of feel like a hike on a winding path up a mountain.

Several years ago, my brothers and I hiked up half dome at Yosemite National Park.

It’s about a 16 mile hike up and back down.

As expected, the hike is not straight up, and straight down….. the path winds as it goes up and down and there are twists and turns

At certain points of that hike along the path, as we are looking at the peak….our destination, the path would actually be leading us away from the peak.

Our physical proximity to our location is getting further away, but every step we took on that path we were actually getting closer in our journey to our destination.

It can feel like that in our faith and lives, specifically during hard times, it feels like we are getting further from God, but in reality, each step forward on this spiritual path is bringing you closer to Him.

We walk by faith, not by sight or feeling.

And as we wait on God in faith, as we keep showing up…God gives us the endurance and determination to keep going.

Isaiah 40:31 “31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

God is with you, He is not mad at you.

Pause…..last question and we will close

Question #4 - Am I just feeling growing pains?

2 Corinthians 5:17 “17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Meaning, when we place our faith in Jesus, something changes in us spiritually…..we become someone brand new.

We have a new spirit in us that desires to live righteous and pursue God, but we still have some of our old ways of thinking and old desires.

Galatians 5:16–17“16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”

There is a Spirit/Sin Nature conflict that each of us has.

It’s that feeling you get when you passionately don’t want to do something you used to have no problem doing, but also are highly tempted by it.

There is a part of me that despises that thing and doesn’t want to do it, and there is another part of me that does want to do it.

When some people feel that tension………but don’t understand what is happening as they are learning to walk in the Spirit……..they get discouraged.

And their relationship with God feels great when they are doing well, and feels distant when they mess up…..and it becomes this inconsistent, roller coaster type relationship they feel with God.

The Accuser

And of course, who do you think is right there taking advantage of that tension?

Our adversary the devil, who is the accuser of God’s people, is right there to try and hit us with feelings of guilt and shame.

Your relationship with God isn’t sincere because you still struggle

If you really loved God, you wouldn’t struggle with that sin anymore.

If you really are a new person, you would have much more of a desire to read the Bible and pray.

The reason God feels distant is because you’re just making this stuff up in your mind.

Or because He is mad at you

Or because you’ve failed too many times and he has withdrawn his presence from you.

And this tension that people feel and the lies the enemy, creates the feeling of distance from God.

I’ve talked with people who after they got saved still struggle with a particular sin that they don’t want to do anymore, and they are so discouraged and feel like nothing has changed in their life.

They are discouraged because they still struggle with it, or even because they are tempted with it.

And I’ll tell them this……Your convicting struggle with a sin that you USED to justify, is evidence of God working in your life, not of His absence in your life.

So how do we respond……don’t let the devil kick you when you are down, get back up and keep going forward.

Proverbs 24:16 “16 for the righteous falls seven times and rises again…

You may feel those growing pains, but thank God He doesn’t push us away in our struggles and imperfections.

Rather, He is so patient and merciful

My experience when I struggle…..is that my patience and grace for myself runs out long before God’s does.

Don’t let the growing pains heap shame and guilt on your head, rather let it inspire awe of who God is.

Would you stand as we close

ABC of Salvation

I’ve been talking to those who have placed their faith in Christ and given us some questions we can ask ourselves when we don’t FEEL connected to God.

But I want to end with one more question directed to those who are not Christ followers.

Because for those who haven’t placed their faith in Christ, it’s not a matter of FEELING disconnected…..it’s a matter of BEING disconnected.

Question - Do you want to connect with God?

There are a lot of people who believe in God, but are disconnected from Him.

Believing in God is not the same things as having a relationship with God.

Many are unsure of what they even mean by “God.”

God is used to describe anything from a Universal Life Force, to a Higher Power, to a Cosmic Energy.

In our post-modern world God is even defined very personally and eclectically.

God means this to one person, and this to another.

God is who I want Him to be.

The problem with how God is defined by so many is that you can’t cannot have a relationship with an impersonal God.

People that believe God exists but don’t know Him personally go through life like 52 Hertz people,

They are on a different frequency than the God who created them.

But that can change this morning…..

The incredible thing about the God of the Bible.

God is not just an idea, or a concept, or an impersonal force…..He is a Person revealed to us in Jesus Christ.

Jesus……God coming to earth in the form of a man was God speaking to us on our frequency.

It’s God bridging the gap that we couldn’t

So how does one go from simply believing God exists to having a relationship with Him?

Jesus said it like this…You have to be born again.

There has to be this spiritual birth that happens and heres how you do it.

Being born again is ABC

Admit

Admit that you are a sinner that needs a savior. You can save yourself, you can’t cash in on good works, you can attend church enough to earn you way to heaven….you need Jesus.

This is the first confession that needs to happen.

Believe

Believing that Jesus died on the cross for you sins, so that you could be forgiven. So that you could have a personal relationship with a Holy God, who will change your life.

Confess

Confessing Jesus as Lord of your life

Not only is Jesus my savior, He is my Lord. It means submitting yourself to God, and living your life in accordance with what he has commanded in His Word.

If we could all bow our heads in prayer, and if you have never done that and you would like to connect with God, to have a personal relationship with Him this morning….

Would you slip your hand up in the air, and we are going to all pray a prayer together.

Salvation Prayer: Dear Lord Jesus I believe you're the son of God. I believe that on the cross you took my sin, my shame, and my guilt, and you died for it. You faced hell for me so I wouldn't have to go. You rose from the dead to give me a place in heaven, a purpose on earth, and a relationship with your father. Today Lord Jesus I turn from my sin to be born again. God is my father, Jesus is my savior, the Holy Spirit is my helper, and heaven is my home. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Sources

https://mrkfurlong.medium.com/the-1-reason-sincere-christians-have-trouble-connecting-with-god-bc074cb22926

https://connexuschurch.com/top-five-reasons-people-dont-feel-connected-to-god/

https://ca.thegospelcoalition.org/columns/ad-fontes/unconfessed-sin-and-the-christian/