Rebuilding Fellowship

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1 John 2:18–23
I don’t believe any of us ever want it to be said of us, “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us; but they went out that they might be made manifest, that none of them were of us.” I doubt the ones John writes of even liked that being written of them. But what John writes here is the spiritual reality of what it means to leave the body of Christ. It behooves us to know what it means to belong to that body in the first place, so that we never end up like the people in this passage.
Part of knowing what being a saint means is to ask questions. What does it mean to be a part of the kingdom? Am I just supposed to keep on trying to do the work of God by myself? The Universal Church is God’s gift to mankind; The local church is God’s gift to the Christian. It is meant to be a close-knit family of saints who teach, exhort, encourage, strengthen one another, holding each member accountable for their faithfulness to God, and thus the spiritual health of the entire congregation.
But what does this practically mean? When I read about fellowship in the Bible, what can I find? Does it mean spending time together? Eating together? Studying together? Yes, all of these! But there are very specific meanings that we need to understand.

What is Fellowship?

Fellowship is a “togetherness”.
General ideas apply in various relationships; meaning is built in the context of these relationships.
The word is part of a family of words that indicate togetherness, sharing, companionship, contribution, generosity, sharing, friendship. The root word is even used in terms of the intimacy between husband and wife (Hebrews 13:4, the marriage bed).
The core of biblical fellowship is our fellowship with God.
1 John 1:3-7 - This defines everything.
1 John 1:3–7 NKJV
that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write to you that your joy may be full. This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
Fellowship with Christians is to be desired.
That “horizontal” fellowship of the saints should lead someone to want tp have “vertical” fellowship with God.
However, God is light. No darkness in Him. We must be allied with the light, and walk in the light if we expect to have fellowship with God.
If we say we are in fellowship but walk in darkness, we are lying and not practicing the truth.
If we walk in the light AS HE IS IN THE LIGHT, we have fellowship with ONE ANOTHER (back to the initial point).
Our core of fellowship here extends to every part of our lives. We are a family! Our fellowship extends to:
Our local congregational work
Common meals together
Work/chores we might help each other with
Time spent together
And more....
1 Corinthians 1:9; 10:16 - Called into fellowship with the Son Jesus, shown in the emblems of the Lord’s Supper. Consider what this means for outsiders/unbelievers to know that we take the Lord’s Supper seriously! It is our true “fellowship meal”.
Our “vertical” fellowship with the Godhead informs our “horizontal” fellowship with other saints. Many passages show the ways that we all share in this as saints.
2 Cor 8:4; 13:13-14 - fellowship of the ministering to the saints; greeting the saints is tied to the communion of the Holy Spirit
Eph 3:9 - The fellowship of the plan/design of God from the beginning of time.
Phil 2:1-2; 3:10 - “if any” shows that it is there.
Philemon 4-7 - The “fellowship” (sharing) of our faith is put into action and becomes effective when we recognize every good thing in us in Christ Jesus.
Close fellowship should always be the goal. This brings us into the subject of the fellowship for which we should be truly striving.
Acts 2:42 – They “continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers.”
Gal 2:9 - the right hand of fellowship shows approval and encouragement in the work set before us.
Phil 1:3-7 - We have fellowship in the gospel. The good news of Jesus is the core of our togetherness.

What Breaks Fellowship?

Sin destroys our fellowship.
The sin of Adam ruined humanity and the earth. Yet in Gen 4:1, he and Eve are striving to be faithful to God in the task they have been given. This results in a good son who is killed (Abel) and another good son whose family led to men calling on the name of the LORD. Gen 4:25-26
The sin of Cain destroyed his fellowship with God and his family. Gen 4:6-15
Not only that he killed Abel, but that he could have reigned/ruled over his sin before it started. On top of that, when asked by God, Cain does not admit his wrongdoing. And thus he is exiled, banished from the presence of the faithful.
God will not fellowship sin. He will not be a partaker of the works of darkness. Eph 5:11
Sin is like a tumor in Christ’s body; it must be taken out, eliminated. There is no excuse for it.
If a brother walks in darkness, I cannot have fellowship with him. 2 Cor. 6:14-18
Phillip Owens in his meeting with us in April preached so well on this that I do not want to repeat too much, but note the seriousness of this passage.
Look at all the different words to describe what we have as Christians.
But we say, “is a fallen Christian an unbeliever?” Go back to 1 John 2:22!
1 John 2:22 NKJV
Who is a liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist who denies the Father and the Son.
Our brothers and sisters who refuse to obey God are unbelievers. They do not believe that Christ is King, because they do not live as if He is their king.
The Christian who disobeys God is not submitting to the rule of Christ, and thus they have no interest in the eternal kingdom.

How is Fellowship Regained?

Communication can win back my brother. Matthew 18:15-20
You must make the effort to go to that brother. They have sinned against you. You must hold them accountable for their wrongdoing.
Note: sins “against you” do not have to include direct action!
For example, When someone willfully forsakes the assembly, they are sinning against you! Heb 10:24-25
Hebrews 10:24–25 NKJV
And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
If he will not listen, you must find someone else who understands the problem and attempt to work through the issue together.
This becomes tricky as we concern ourselves with the accusation of gossip, and indeed, such an accusation might be raised!
But to accuse brethren of gossip when they are discussing their legitimate, heartfelt concerns over your soul shows your own pettiness and bitterness.
Yes, if the motive/intent is to smear your name and reputation, your accusation of gossip is well founded.
But if they are seeking your spiritual benefit with serious concern, you have no right to accuse them of gossip.
This passage REQUIRES another to become involved if the first attempt is unfruitful.
If he again refuses, then the local church is to be involved.
YOU tell it to the church. Let the church handle it.
YOU treat them as a heathen and tax collector.
18-20 are necessary to understand this passage!
The apostles were given the keys to the kingdom (faith, belief in the Kingdom and the King who rules it)
Thus whatever they approved/disapproved on earth conformed to what they knew about how those subjects were taught by God in heaven. Their agreement with each other (THEIR horizontal fellowship) was to conform to the Father in heaven (THEIR vertical fellowship).
v20 makes so much more sense in this context. It is not a blanket statement making any gathering of 2+ Christians an assembly. It is a recognition that WHEN THE CHURCH ACTS, Jesus is there in their midst.
We have the words of the apostles for correction.
They received these words through the Spirit and Jesus.
Thus, when we discipline a member, we must conform to what has been revealed about this.
NOTE: for any of this to work, we need to be comfortable communicating with each other.
Think about every other member of this congregation. How comfortable are you with them? How willing would you be to go into their home and clean up their bathroom? Wash their feet? If they became disabled, would you be willing to bathe them?
If there is anyone in here that you would refuse to help in that way, then you’re going to have a hard time telling them the truth about their soul in the proper way. We must show love. If you hate them, you become a murderer. 1 Jn 3:15
1 John 3:15 NKJV
Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
This method is the usual “go to” for people to claim “they didn’t go through the process correctly.”
The issue here is, without proper communication between all involved, it becomes impossible to really track what has been said by who, and at what time.
He quotes from the Old Law for a reason. The law God gave Israel was one that did not kill a man based on one man’s accusation. It had to be established and credible in order to have weight/merit.
So yes, we can do this the wrong way, but often the behavior of the person in question can hamper the process!
Should we be held responsible for a failure in discipline when the person in question continually resists communication?
At some point we need to follow God’s example, and give them up. Rom 1, 1 Cor 5.
Leads us to the next point...
Sound teaching and blameless behavior can win back my brother. Gal 6:1-5
If a man is caught in a trespass, the spiritual are meant to restore him.
Should not be a shock to us: The #1 reason people don’t go to churches: hypocrisy.
We need to stop giving them a reason not to come.
This is done in a spirit of humility, so that the one restoring him is not also tempted.
In the mindset of bearing the burden of another. You are helping him bear the burden of correction, etc.
If you think your “saving him” is the only thing that matters, you need to check yourself. The important work here is HIS correction/redemption.
We must examine our own work, and we need to have rejoicing in ourselves.
If we fail, we fail, and it is on his head. But we do not have a “free pass” for our own shortcomings at that point.
The fact that a brother fell away does not justify your habitual sin!
If you refuse to live blamelessly, expect more to leave. You must be spiritual in order to win them back.
NOTE: for any of this to work, we need to be spending time with one another.
If we are not around each other more than just the assembly, then we cannot witness each other being good examples!
Ask yourself if there is anyone here that you would just be loathe to spend an afternoon with. Maybe that means you should do exactly that, invite them over or to an event, etc. and spend time with them. Push yourself to KNOW your brethren.
On the flip side, let others determine the nature of the relationship. Do not force them to be “buddy buddy”, but reach out to those who are reachable. Love those who accept your love.
Delivering my brother to Satan can win him back for the day of judgment. 1 Cor 5:1-8
They were to take the words of Paul and correct the brother in question by marking him as a fornicator and withdrawing fellowship from him. There would be no positive change until this effort was undertaken. Same for us today!
Sometimes we think, “well, if we do this, then that’s that, we will probably never see them again.” That is exactly the opposite of what this is supposed to be!
Keep in mind, this is not tossing someone out forever! The wise heart accepts correction; the foolish heart rejects it. Prov 9:8
Proverbs 9:8 NKJV
Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.
The “leaven” (in this case, the fellowship of the local congregation) must be pure.
Sin among the camp was not tolerated. Joshua 7:11-12
Joshua 7:11–12 NKJV
Israel has sinned, and they have also transgressed My covenant which I commanded them. For they have even taken some of the accursed things, and have both stolen and deceived; and they have also put it among their own stuff. Therefore the children of Israel could not stand before their enemies, but turned their backs before their enemies, because they have become doomed to destruction. Neither will I be with you anymore, unless you destroy the accursed from among you.
We want our erring brethren to see the seriousness of sin, and how far it will take them away from God and away from their brethren who love them deeply! We can only do this by upholding the lines of fellowship God gives us.
NOTE: for any of this to work, we need to have close relationships.
It won’t hurt if we don’t care. This is supposed to hurt, to make sure that the person being withdrawn from feels the ache and sorrow that the distance from God and His people brings.
We need close relationships in order to make that happen. It takes a willingness on both sides in order to make that happen.
Maintaining God’s boundaries of fellowship can win back my brother. 1 Cor 5:9-13; 2 Thess. 3:6; 11-15; Rom 16:17-20
We MUST draw the line of fellowship and have it clearly marked!
Why do we take these measures? So that we “keep the feast” with “sincerity and truth” (v. 8) Influence is key.
Note, we are not expected to have this same treatment for unbelievers that do this.
The sad scenario at times is that we have far less acceptance of the sins of unbelievers than we do for the sins of our own brethren.
We excoriate the “problems” in the world and speak of how evil people are, while we gingerly tiptoe around the real, identifiable sins that our brethren may be guilty of. Let us be intellectually honest and walk in truth.
If a brother walks disorderly, he is a liability to the congregation and must be held accountable. If he refuses to change, he must be marked and withdrawn from.
“disorderly” is defined in the passage.
“not working at all”, meaning they are not doing the work. Anger, malice, gossip, etc. are included in this.
“busybodies” - 1 Tim 5:13; 1 Pet 4:15

to bustle about uselessly, to busy one’s self about trifling, needless, useless matters,

I need to avoid people who do this.
Severe temptation for business meetings to be centered around such things!
Satan will use needling little nitpicks to destroy our work in Christ. Do not let him do it.
Yet do not look at him in a hostile way, but with a mindset to work on them and win them back. Keep God’s fellowship lines as you keep working on them!
In terms of Romans 16:17-20, we can make a distinction between the “busybodies” and the ones who cause division, but the same process is used for both.
NOTE: for any of this to work, we need to be willing to use our judgment/discernment.
What is the MOST IMPORTANT part of our work together?
Surely we can keep ourselves from dividing over small disagreements.
If I have to change to help my brother through a difficulty, I need to be willing to make that change. 1 Cor 8:13
1 Corinthians 8:13 NKJV
Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.
Seeking my lost brother can win him back. Luke 15:3-7
The severity of our actions might depend on the situation at hand. Jude 20-23
Jude 20–23 NKJV
But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. And on some have compassion, making a distinction; but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.
Compare this with Amos 4:11
Amos 4:11 NKJV
“I overthrew some of you, As God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah, And you were like a firebrand plucked from the burning; Yet you have not returned to Me,” Says the Lord.
God surely plucked Lot from Sodom like a firebrand! Gen 19:15-17
Genesis 19:15–17 NKJV
When the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry, saying, “Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.” And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city. So it came to pass, when they had brought them outside, that he said, “Escape for your life! Do not look behind you nor stay anywhere in the plain. Escape to the mountains, lest you be destroyed.”
This was God’s love and mercy in action.
Sometimes we will face a situation such as this, when we know the situation is dire, and we need to get people out of the way of sin.
Other times we may need to be more gentle, working through it carefully.
The core of the message: We need to rejoice over sinners repenting. If we do not care, why should we expect others to care?
We are all evangelists. We need to be busy with the work, but especially with those who have fallen away.
We need to treasure our fellowship. If we do not, we should not be surprised if people leave.
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