The Covenant of Marriage

Introduction

1 Timothy 2:10–13 ESV

10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve;

I just recently finished my electrical exams and there was a portion that focused only on laws. There are so many laws that protect the consumer/home owner or customer. If I forget to add one small thing in my contract I can lose thousands of dollars. If my employees get hurt on the job, I am responsible for that. The weight of being a new business owner is heavy and there’s a lot to worry about.

In the same way God has created men and women with specific roles. This does not mean that women are better than men or that men are better than women. Instead we complement each other. God has established an order of how men and women should live. He designed men to be able to endure physical strain and hard work, while he gave a woman the tender hands to nourish her children.

As opposed to the current gender equality and feminism movement, scripture does not teach that one role is better than the other. But its important to know why God designed us this way. Today we will learn about submission, love, and the display we present to the world in marriage.

Submission

Sometimes when we think of submission we think of UFC right? Like a 300 pound dude sitting on top of a 100 pound dude and the guy at the bottom taps out because he is too weak. This kind of submission is forceful and violent. There is violent subjugation where a country in war enters the territory of another country and its soldiers force submission. Its hard not to submit when there’s a gun pointed at your whole family and are threatened to be killed. So when the bible speaks of submission what does it mean?

Ephesians 5:22–23 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Hypotasso means to place or arrange under, subordinate. To bring under influence, to be brought under a state or influence.

Greek Lexicon it says - to be or to become inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishies of others or showing such inclination.

“El Machismo”

You’re not in a UFC cage fight with your wife. Paul is not talking about subjugation. Where a man forces his will and forces or commands his wife to do as he pleases. Many people confuse the roles as the male having dominance over the man.

The submission Paul is talking about is a willful one where the wife is willing to submit. A great example of this is a horse that is tamed and submissive. That horse is powerful, strong, beautiful, and if it is wild it can hurt you, but when it choses to submit only then can you ride it and do work with it.

Ephesians 5:24 ESV

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

The greatest example of submission is Christ himself. We have talked about how Jesus is God but he demonstrated restrain and submission to the father. He was a perfect example of being equally valuable as the father and equally powerful and hold all deity as the father, but according to his plan he submitted himself to be obedient to God the father to be the perfect example.

Submission is not bad. Submission is good. When we were in the world we were like a wild horse roaming where we wanted to. Living in sin and far from God, but Jesus took us in when we were broken and alone, he showed us love and died on the cross for us in our place. It is because of this that we submit to him willfully. I want to obey God because of his love for me. Because of my gratitude I want to submit and serve him. This is the kind of submission Paul is talking about.

Love

Paul gives two examples of how we should love our wives.

The first is love her as Christ loved the church. How much did Christ love the Church? He gave up his life for her. He saved her from eternal condemnation. He was willing to die. But the one thing we forget to mention is that Jesus was also willing to live a righteous life for her. He obeyed the father in every command. He lived a righteous life. He was upright and lived according to God’s will.

A husband must be willing to love his wife with the way he lives. He should live in such a way that his life reflects Christ and ultimately his love. If you want your wife to submit willingly then love her the way Christ loves us.

Ephesians 5:25–27 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

When a husband lives a righteous life his priority will be to also ensure his wife is living a righteous life. HE washes her with the word of God. This washing is a sanctification process. The husband is to lead the wife to spiritual growth and sanctification.

The second example Paul uses is to love your wife as you love your own body. Some of you boys do not love yourselves so this might not apply. Some of you can go for days without showering and smelling like a dumpster and not care. That is definitely not what Paul is talking about.

Someone who loves themselves keeps themselves clean, neat, showered, and if they hurt themselves they go to the doctor. They eat if they’re hungry. You eat good foods to nourish your body. You preserve your body because you care about yourself. Now Paul tells us to love our wives as we love ourselves.

So much so that when we love our wife you are loving yourself. Happy wife happy life is from Paul. If you cherish your wife you are cherishing yourself. It is important to love your wife in this way. This analogy is also the same as Christ and the body. He is the head and we are the body.

The head is useless without the body and the body useless without the head. A husband and wife can’t function well without each other so one must primarily love and the other must submit. When you have body parts moving around without the brain telling it to do that it’s a disorder.

But a healthy head and a healthy body will function in a healthy way.

Ephesians 5:28–30 ESV

28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.

Christ

Paul emphasizes the uniqueness and special relationship of the husband and wife.

Before we were in our nest with out parents under their protection. As children we submit to our parents and we are under their authority.

In a similar way wives now transfer over to their husband’s authority. She is willingly submitting herself under her husbands authority.

But for the man he becomes responsible for his wife and children now. The wife becomes responsible to submit and help her husband in the family.

Before we were under the authority of satan and bound to our sin. Now we are under the authority of Christ and bound in his love. This is the great mystery. That every marriage glorifies Christ. The way a marriage is lived and viewed by the world is a living example of Christ and the Church.

We are a representation of Christ and the church. This is why we don’t commit sexual sin before marriage because it is like enjoying the fruits of marriage when not fully committed before God.

It sends a bad image of God when we are living with our boyfriend and not married. There is no commitment before God. Marriage is a covenant between you and God this is why we do it. Marriage is established by God and it is a profound covenant because you are linking yourself to someone for life. God hates divorce. Because God’s commitment to us the church is eternal and everlasting. He will not back out on his promises.

We must also reflect his faithfulness and respect.

Ephesians 5:31–33 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.