The Undistracted Widow | Chapter 20

Learning From Your Widowhood

1 Peter 1:13 KJV 1900

13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

John 9:1–5 KJV 1900

1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. 2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? 3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. 4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work. 5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

One of our biggest issues is assuming that we know the mind of God. Anytime we think we know what God is doing in our lives we make this grave mistake.

“As widows, we need to guard against making wrong assumptions about what God is doing in our lives. Widowhood presents a Christian woman with an opportunity - a situation in which she can, with God’s help, show the world that her God is of infinite worth, that He makes no mistakes, and that He upholds those who trust in Him.”

Don’t Waste Your Widowhood

“Based on what I learned from Piper (John Piper), I came up with ten steps on how not to waste our widowhood.”

We will waste our widowhood if we do not believe it is designed for us by God.

“He (God) purposes good things from it as we love Him and trust Him in it. God is enough. He is sufficient for every trial.”

2 Corinthians 12:8–9 KJV 1900

8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

We will waste our widowhood if we believe it is a curse and not a gift.

“Widowhood is a gift in the sense that it is an opportunity given by God in which we illuminate the world around us in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom we shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life.”

Philippians 2:12–15 KJV 1900

12 Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. 13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. 14 Do all things without murmurings and disputings: 15 That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;

We will waste our widowhood if we seek comfort from anything other than God.

“He teaches us to keep our eyes on Him so that in every trial we will instinctively look to Him first and foremost. God alone is able to keep His promises, and He will never abandon us.”

Romans 4:20–21 KJV 1900

20 He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; 21 And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.

We will waste our widowhood if we refuse to think about death.

“Death for the Christian is a portal to heaven, and we want to think carefully about heaven before we get there. Doing so increases our joy as we immerse our thoughts in the anticipation of our great hope. In the meantime, contentment comes from accepting wherever God wants us today - whether staying here, serving Him on this earth, or going home to heaven and serving Him face-to-face.”

John 14:1–4 KJV 1900

1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. 2 In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.

We will waste our widowhood if we think that “surviving” widowhood means a desperate search for another mate rather than cherishing Christ.

“Whether God provides us with another husband is entirely His business. Nothing is too hard for Him…But either way, we will waste our widowhood if we do not cherish Christ more than before.”

1 Corinthians 7:39–40 KJV 1900

39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

We will waste our widowhood if we spend too much time reading about widowhood and not enough time reading about God.

“We waste our widowhood if we do not pursue true hope by deepening our love for God and focusing on Him in the midst of our grief.”

Philippians 2:4–5 KJV 1900

4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. 5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

We will waste our widowhood if we let it drive us into solitude instead of deepening our relationships with unmistakable affection.

“Widowhood provides us with an opportunity to reach our and love others through sacrificial service in imitation of Christ.”

1 John 3:16–18 KJV 1900

16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17 But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? 18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

We will waste our widowhood if we grieve as those who have no hope.

“Because we are held in the arms of God, protected and provided for, we can rest in calm assurance of His great love and care. We are not alone, not abandoned. Our days can be filled with the Lord and His Word, and we can face the future with faith.”

Psalm 23:4–6 KJV 1900

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

We will waste our widowhood if we treat sin as casually as before.

“Growth in holiness, and therefore increased happiness in the Lord, is part of the good that God can accomplish in our widowhood.”

1 Peter 2:1–3 KJV 1900

1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, 2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: 3 If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious.

We will waste our widowhood if we fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

“Those around us need to hear of the mercy, grace, and kindness of God. All people desperately need to hear the gospel, and we can explain to them how the gospel works in bereavement, testifying as to how we found the Lord to be sufficient for our every need as we endured the loss of our husband.”

2 Timothy 1:7–8 KJV 1900

7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 8 Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;

Hope That Does Not Disappoint

“Christ must be the object of your hope. We look to Him-back to what He has done and forward to what He will do. And, for the present, the hope we have in Christ is an anchor for our souls.”

Ephesians 1:15–21 KJV 1900

15 Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints, 16 Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers; 17 That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: 18 The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, 19 And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, 20 Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, 21 Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come:

1 Timothy 5:5 KJV 1900

5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.

2 Thessalonians 2:16–17 KJV 1900

16 Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, 17 Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work.

Discussion Questions

How can the passages from 1 Peter and John 9:1-5 help widows in their journey of faith and hope?

What are some common assumptions that people make about God's plan in their lives, and how can we guard against making these assumptions?

How can widowhood be seen as an opportunity to demonstrate trust in God and His infinite worth?

In what ways can widowhood be viewed as a gift rather than a curse, as mentioned in 2 Corinthians and Philippians?

How can we ensure that we seek comfort and strength primarily from God during times of trial, as discussed in Romans 4:20-21?

What are the benefits of contemplating heaven and the hope of eternal life, especially in the context of widowhood, as mentioned in Romans and John 14:1-4?

How can widows avoid the misconception that "surviving" widowhood means a desperate search for another mate rather than cherishing Christ, as highlighted in 1 Corinthians?

What are some practical ways for widows to deepen their love for God and focus on Him in the midst of grief, as suggested in Philippians 2:4-5?