2 Corinthians: Hard Conversations

Story so far

Paul planted the Corinthian church during his second missionary journey. After some time he starts getting communication from people in the Corinthian church and he’s getting reports from others, that things are not going well in Corinth.

There’s division over who people follow, division caused by immorality, division over gifts, division over what they should and shouldn’t eat… Add on top of that the church gatherings are disorganized screaming matches that turn people away from Christ.

Paul draws them a map. You are here - and this is what you have to do in order to get back on track. Remove the guy sleeping with his step-mom from among you, stop worrying about you - worry about what your brother and sister eats, worry about what bothers their conscience, worry about creating a loving and orderly environment instead of whether or not you got to speak during service! Stop worrying about what’s fair and worry about being ambassadors for Christ. If you don’t get back on the path, maybe you believed in vain.

How the message was received

Several different responses. Some were positive, but Paul responds to these:

How dare you, who do you think you are?

You say this admonition is from the Lord, prove it! Prove you’re speaking from Christ.

You’ve been avoiding us and when you came here you didn’t have the courage to speak to us this way. Now you’re sending a letter like a coward.

You want us to give to these other poor churches? Let me guess you want to take that money and determine how to use it? We aren’t giving you anything.

You know Paul, we’ve been inviting teachers in from all over the region. They are more successful than you, they speak better than you, they have deep and amazing things to say - yet you go around poor, homeless, and hungry. You speak simply. You aren’t even good at preaching. Why should we listen to you?

How does Paul respond?

Instead of focusing on what Paul says, we’re going to focus on how he says it. Why? Because there’s a lot to learn in the way Paul approaches so much hatred.

Paul relates and reminds them of their unity

2 Corinthians 1:3–7

“3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”

Paul is vulnerable and honest

2 Corinthians 1:23–2:4 (NIV)

23 I call God as my witness—and I stake my life on it—that it was in order to spare you that I did not return to Corinth. 24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, because it is by faith you stand firm. 1 So I made up my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you. 2 For if I grieve you, who is left to make me glad but you whom I have grieved?

I didn’t stop by on my way home because I was afraid that I was going to lose you. And I couldn’t bare it.

3 I wrote as I did, so that when I came I would not be distressed by those who should have made me rejoice. I had confidence in all of you, that you would all share my joy. 4 For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.

EX: Someone who lived with me

Paul says, I don’t want you to be ashamed of us

2 Corinthians 5:11–15 (NIV)

11 Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. 12 We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. 13 If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

2 Corinthians 7:2–4 (NIV)

2 Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one. 3 I do not say this to condemn you; I have said before that you have such a place in our hearts that we would live or die with you. 4 I have spoken to you with great frankness; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.

Paul’s not sorry

2 Corinthians 7:8–10 (NIV)

8 Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—9 yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

Paul takes the view off of himself

2 Corinthians 8:1–3 (NIV)

1 And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. 2 In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. 3 For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own

2 Corinthians 8:8–9 (NIV)

8 I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. 9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.

2 Corinthians 9:6–9 (NIV)

6 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9 As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.”

Paul points out the error

2 Corinthians 10:7–8 (NIV)

7 You are judging by appearances. If anyone is confident that they belong to Christ, they should consider again that we belong to Christ just as much as they do. 8 So even if I boast somewhat freely about the authority the Lord gave us for building you up rather than tearing you down, I will not be ashamed of it.

2 Corinthians 10:17–18 (NIV)

17 But, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” 18 For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.

2 Corinthians 11:1–2 (NIV)

1 I hope you will put up with me in a little foolishness. Yes, please put up with me! 2 I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.

A lady said to me one time “you have amazing grace for everyone else but you never have the smallest amount of grace for me.”

2 Corinthians 11:5–9 (NIV) He isn’t afraid of saying it like it is

5 I do not think I am in the least inferior to those “super-apostles.” 6 I may indeed be untrained as a speaker, but I do have knowledge. We have made this perfectly clear to you in every way. 7 Was it a sin for me to lower myself in order to elevate you by preaching the gospel of God to you free of charge? 8 I robbed other churches by receiving support from them so as to serve you. 9 And when I was with you and needed something, I was not a burden to anyone, for the brothers who came from Macedonia supplied what I needed. I have kept myself from being a burden to you in any way, and will continue to do so.

2 Corinthians 11:17–21 (NIV) Look how stupid this is!

17 In this self-confident boasting I am not talking as the Lord would, but as a fool. 18 Since many are boasting in the way the world does, I too will boast. 19 You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise! 20 In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or puts on airs or slaps you in the face. 21 To my shame I admit that we were too weak for that! Whatever anyone else dares to boast about—I am speaking as a fool—I also dare to boast about.

Paul corrects the error

2 Corinthians 11:30–31 (NIV)

30 If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. 31 The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever, knows that I am not lying.

2 Corinthians 12:10 (NIV)

10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The wrap up

2 Corinthians 13 (NIV)

1 This will be my third visit to you. “Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” 2 I already gave you a warning when I was with you the second time. I now repeat it while absent: On my return I will not spare those who sinned earlier or any of the others, 3 since you are demanding proof that Christ is speaking through me. He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. 4 For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God’s power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God’s power we will live with him in our dealing with you.

5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? 6 And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test. 7 Now we pray to God that you will not do anything wrong—not so that people will see that we have stood the test but so that you will do what is right even though we may seem to have failed. 8 For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth.

9 We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is that you may be fully restored. 10 This is why I write these things when I am absent, that when I come I may not have to be harsh in my use of authority—the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down.

11 Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 12 Greet one another with a holy kiss. 13 All God’s people here send their greetings. 14 May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

Application

LotR video

How do you deal with a hard conversation?

Unity: We are suffering together and we comfort each other in it

vulnerability/honesty: The reason I didn’t stop by again on my way back is because I was worried if we had another visit like my last one I’d lose you

Love: I cried over my last letter. I hated to send it to you.

Understanding: I’m sorry that you have to be ashamed of me. I’m sorry that people are looking down on you because of me.

Firm: I’m not sorry that I spoke to you like I did.

Point out the error: You are looking at the appearance of things, the pride of the rich - instead of valuing the poverty of the cross. If you don’t change you may prove that you have no part in this.

End with love: But I love you still. I pray for your peace and I pray for your joy.

Coworkers, kids, spouse, neighbor, family member, disciple, leader at the church

Outro

Here’s the point; there’s a right way to have hard conversations and it’s not to avoid them.