Procreation

I have officiated ten weddings. In the grand scheme of things, that’s really not many.

But, I have enjoyed officiating each one of them. Each one of them was different. Each one had challenges. Each one had a lot of joys. Each one was filled with anticipation of what was next.

Weddings are a lot of fun. And they also have cake. Even if the wedding ceremony is long and boring, there is always cake.

Of course, there are the weddings that run out of cake. But, that is a story for another time.

Today we get to see the grand romantic narrative for the woman and young King Solomon. They have been betrothed and are desperately in love. Both have been eagerly awaiting their wedding night, staying pure until then. They are attracted to each other greatly, both physically, but also because of each other’s character.

Now, the wedding day is approaching. Chapter three picks up on the night before the wedding.

We are going to discuss chapter three, and then we are going to discussion point 2 on my defense of marriage: procreation.

Pray

1. Wedding Bells: Exposition of the Text

A. Song 3:1-5

Let’s start by reading the text, as I said this is the night before the wedding.

Song of Solomon 3:1–5 NIV

All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. “Have you seen the one my heart loves?” Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother’s house, to the room of the one who conceived me. Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

She has been yearning for her wedding, for finally spending intimate moments with her beloved, sexually.

So, she is lying on her bed, and she begins to dream. All night long, on her bed, she looked for her beloved.

She began to dream that she was looking for her beloved. She is going around the town, looking for him. Finally, she finds him and she brings him back to her mother’s house. This is a description of a wedding night, coming together sexually.

Other parts of Scripture refers to this for the consummation of a marriage.

This is just a dream, because she yearns for her beloved so much.

It shouldn’t surprise us that Scripture records someone yearning so much that the brain responds with a sex dream. It happens. Few people have never had a sex dream.

Yet, she knows that she is not supposed to act on this urge yet. It is a God-given urge, it is not bad. But it is supposed to be indulged in within marriage. But that day is coming.

A word for spiritual application. She yearned for her beloved so much that it affected even her dreams. Do we yearn to spend time with God so much that it affects our dreams, our innermost desires?

B. Song 3:6-11

Then the wedding day finally comes:

Song of Solomon 3:6–11 NIV

Who is this coming up from the wilderness like a column of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and incense made from all the spices of the merchant? Look! It is Solomon’s carriage, escorted by sixty warriors, the noblest of Israel, all of them wearing the sword, all experienced in battle, each with his sword at his side, prepared for the terrors of the night. King Solomon made for himself the carriage; he made it of wood from Lebanon. Its posts he made of silver, its base of gold. Its seat was upholstered with purple, its interior inlaid with love. Daughters of Jerusalem, come out, and look, you daughters of Zion. Look on King Solomon wearing a crown, the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, the day his heart rejoiced.

The triumphal entry of the king on his wedding day, coming to collect his bride.

He comes with sixty warriors. David had thirty mighty men. But, Solomon is bringing 60, symbolizing the protection that he will bring to his new wife.

He made a carriage, beautiful carriage, full of richness and comfort, so that he can care for his wife.

Everyone is standing and gawking at the richness and splendor that this young woman, who doesn’t think she is beautiful, will be enjoying because of her beloved.

The wedding day was a statement: King Solomon was showing how he was going to protect and provide for his wife, and he was making that statement in front of everyone.

Now, can we talk a little about the imagery in this passage?

Let’s read verse 6 again.

Song of Solomon 3:6 NIV

Who is this coming up from the wilderness like a column of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and incense made from all the spices of the merchant?

Israelites recognize this image. A cloud of smoke coming from the wilderness.

This is pointing back to the Exodus when God led Israel out of slavery into the promised land, in protection.

Now Solomon created a carriage:

Song of Solomon 3:9–10 NIV

King Solomon made for himself the carriage; he made it of wood from Lebanon. Its posts he made of silver, its base of gold. Its seat was upholstered with purple, its interior inlaid with love. Daughters of Jerusalem,

The description is reminiscent of the Ark of the Covenant that was carried with the Israelites, and of the tabernacle, the dwelling place of God, his provision.

Throughout the prophets, God uses the image of marriage to describe his covenant between himself and Israel:

Isaiah 54:5 NIV

For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.

He says: I am devoted to you, be devoted to me.

In the same way, Christ is described as our husband. He choose us and wooed us and promises to love us eternally.

He is coming, one day, to call us home with him. Before the whole world who is gathered against him, he declares that he is the one who protects us and he is the one who provides for us. And he is creating a house for us to dwell in forever.

Until that day comes, what Revelation describes as the marriage supper of the lamb, Christ pleads with us, saying: I am coming for you: be faithful to me. Love me, desire me, be with me.

2. Procreation: Defense of Marriage

Oh, that I could talk more about this, but I need to keep moving.

Do you remember the old nursery rhyme? They probably don’t say it anymore:

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage.

A normal, natural result of marriage is children.

A. Because of Sex

Why do I say that? Because normally, married couples have sex. And normally, married couples have sex during the time when a woman is fertile. and if they are using birth control, 20% of the time, that birth control will not work.

And sperm + egg = child.

Hopefully, that equation was not a surprise to you.

Several weeks ago, I talked about the purpose of sex and how God designed sex to be pleasurable, to connect a man and a woman emotionally, to knit them together spiritually, and to provide a moment of worship for Him.

And all that is true.

However, a big purpose of sex is procreation.

We read in the beginning:

Genesis 4:1–2 NIV

Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil.

And throughout Scripture you see that. The joke that everyone loves to say to a couple who has had kids close together: “You know how that works, right?”

The only way that someone can produce a child is through sex. Whether it is actual, or whether it is simulated through a test tube and then inserted into a womb.

Through the sexual act, we get to imitate God by creating. The sperm meets the egg, says: “How do you do? Let’s have some fun.” And in that moment, new life is created. And the child begins to grow. The product of a mom and a dad, whether the mom and the dad realize it or want it. The new life is there and is already impacting its surroundings.

B. Because of Need

A normal, natural result of marriage is children.

Why do I say that? Because children need parents.

We could open up any secular magazine, and whether they want to admit it or not, they are filled with proofs of why a child needs a mom and a dad.

I joke with Maggie that God gave children a mom so that they will stay alive and he gave children a dad so that they will actually live.

But, a mom and a dad provide for the unique needs of a child.

The University of Michigan had an article: realize this is a secular university publishing a secular article:

“Children form deep emotional attachments to their fathers and their mothers, and when they are emotionally attached to both parents, they do better and have less behavioral and emotional problems.”

Statistic and statistic proves this.

We could open up any newspaper or turn the tv to any news program and see the proof of why kids need a mom and a dad active in their lives.

Katy Faust wrote a book: Them Before Us. And she says something earth shatter for our secular culture, and I need to read the whole quote:

“So sometimes if I'm giving a talk at a school or a conference or something, I'll put up a chart and I'll say, "Here's some issues. I want you to tell me which one of these you would solve if you could. Homelessness, youth homelessness, youth poverty, teen suicide, teen dropouts, teen pregnancy, behavioral issues, incarceration rates, high incarceration rates. Choose one, which one really burdens you? Which one, if you could solve, would you just say that one's gone?" And I usually get a lot of different answers because a lot of us are really burdened about various different issues based on things that we've seen or the volunteer work we've done. And then I say, "What if there was an all of the above option? What if there's one thing that you could do that wiped out, decimated, took down to a 10th every single thing that I just mentioned, would you do it? And what if it was cheap?" And they're like, yes, tell us that thing. And I said, well, that thing is fathers. That thing is making sure that the children have daily constant access to both their mother and father. And what you see when you look at children who are living in poverty or on the street, or behavioral issues or substance abuse or high incarceration rates or teen pregnancy, all of those different demographics are overpopulated with fatherless children. That's the power of children's rights. That's the power of children being loved and connected to the two people responsible for their existence. And marriage is the only way they're going to get both.”

God designed marriage: husband and wife, to provide uniquely for the physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing of a child. When a child does not have a mom and a dad joined in a loving committed relationship, that child suffers. No matter how much people deny it, the Word of God says it and experience agrees.

C. But, There’s Brokenness

Now, yes, a normal, natural result of marriage is children, because of sex and because of need.

However, we live in a world that is not normal. It is in fact broken. And we all experience that brokenness every day.

So normal is not normal. Normal is only a setting on a washing machine.

We can speak in generalities, but generalities are not always helpful.

What is true?

Well, two things must be admitted.

Sex doesn’t always lead to children.

There are many couples who yearn to have children, but they cannot. 10% of couples in the United States are infertile.

They have tried and tried and tried and perhaps they haven’t conceived and every month they are disappointed.

Or perhaps they have conceived, and they have suffered the devastation and bitterness of miscarriages and stillbirths.

This is the result of the brokenness of this world.

And nothing can remove that pain. And nothing can fill that hole left by the desire to have children.

We live in a broken world, so that sex doesn’t always lead to children.

Children don’t always have parents

We also live in a broken world, because children don’t always have parents.

Sometimes children grow up in single-parent homes.

In the United States today, there are nearly 13.6 million single parents raising over 21 million children.

This is caused by having a child out of wedlock. This is caused by divorce. This is caused by the death of a parent.

So many reasons, but the overall reason is the brokenness of this world. It is not how God designed it and the child will suffer because of not having both a mom and a dad.

Sometimes children grow up without a parent, either because their parents died or their parents could not give them an adequate, safe home.

In 2023, there were around 391,000 children in foster care in the United States. But only around 208,823 licensed foster homes.

In the US, there are 117,000 children waiting to be adopted.

These are children who need to experience the love of both a mom and a dad, who yearn for that, whether they realize it or not.

We live in a broken world.

But, God is still glorified

But, God is still glorified.

Because some, even through the pain, will hear the call of God, and will say: we will use our marriage to glorify God, to provide a home for a child, whether it ours biologically, or it is ours because of God’s gracious call.

And when a childless couple, in their hurt, reaches out to help a child in his or her hurt, an amazing picture is given of God’s love and choice of us. When we didn’t feel worthy, he reached out in love and said: you are mine. Let me protect you. Let me provide for you.

In the brokenness of this world, we get to do that for them and they get to do that for us.

Praise him and his gracious love.