Hope in the Heartache

INTRODUCTION:

One of the great existential questions of life is “what happens after you die.” It’s an important question you want to have settled before your death date comes.

An equally important question that is asked much less frequently isn’t the question of your death but the death of the person you love the most.

What happens after HE/SHE dies?

Few hurts go as deep and last as long as the hurt we feel in losing the ones we love.

When we bury them, we bury a part of ourselves.

Many of you know exactly what I mean because the person you loved the most did die.

For several in our church family it’s something that happened very recently.

For others it’s something that’s on the horizon of your life experience.

For others, it feels like a distant improbability.

Every man and woman who breathes the breath of life will one day breath their last breath. They’re heart will stop beating and a separation will ensure.

How do we process the death of a spouse? How are we to understand and move forward in light of the separation that death creates between the people we love the most?

Our passage this morning helps us answer that question. We’ve been studying the life of Abraham and in Genesis 23 we see Abraham bury his wife, Sarah.

Abraham’s response to Sarah’s death is a good example of how every child of God should find hope in the heartaches of life.

Set The Table

For those of you who are new let me catch you up on the story. I call Abraham the OG Founding Father of faith. He’s the chief Patriarch of the three largest monotheistic religions (Judaism, Islam and Christianity.)

It’s hard to understand the story of the world without understanding the story of Father Abraham.

God essentially chose Abraham as a way of pressing the reset button on his plan of redemption to restore what humanity had lost in the Garden of Eden.

God promised Abraham if he’s trust him that he’d give him a promised land and lineage and through his descendants bless every nation on the earth.

Abraham journey of faith was marked by by mountain tops and valley lows.

In every season and to every promise God was faithful still.

Isaac, the child of promise was born in Genesis 21.

In Genesis 22 Abraham was tested with giving up the life of that cherished son.

In Genesis 23 Abraham is presented with a similar test surrounding the person he loved the most. His wife, Sarah.

What we’re going to see is that God often uses our greatest hurt to establish in us an even greater hope in his covenant promise.

Let’s pick up our story in Genesis 23

Genesis 23 CSB

1 Now Sarah lived 127 years; these were all the years of her life. 2 Sarah died in Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her. 3 When Abraham got up from beside his dead wife, he spoke to the Hethites: 4 “I am an alien residing among you. Give me burial property among you so that I can bury my dead.” 5 The Hethites replied to Abraham, 6 “Listen to us, my lord. You are a prince of God among us. Bury your dead in our finest burial place. None of us will withhold from you his burial place for burying your dead.” 7 Then Abraham rose and bowed down to the Hethites, the people of the land. 8 He said to them, “If you are willing for me to bury my dead, listen to me and ask Ephron son of Zohar on my behalf 9 to give me the cave of Machpelah that belongs to him; it is at the end of his field. Let him give it to me in your presence, for the full price, as burial property.” 10 Ephron was sitting among the Hethites. So in the hearing of all the Hethites who came to the gate of his city, Ephron the Hethite answered Abraham: 11 “No, my lord. Listen to me. I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. I give it to you in the sight of my people. Bury your dead.” 12 Abraham bowed down to the people of the land 13 and said to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land, “Listen to me, if you please. Let me pay the price of the field. Accept it from me, and let me bury my dead there.” 14 Ephron answered Abraham and said to him, 15 “My lord, listen to me. Land worth four hundred shekels of silver—what is that between you and me? Bury your dead.” 16 Abraham agreed with Ephron, and Abraham weighed out to Ephron the silver that he had agreed to in the hearing of the Hethites: four hundred standard shekels of silver. 17 So Ephron’s field at Machpelah near Mamre—the field with its cave and all the trees anywhere within the boundaries of the field—became 18 Abraham’s possession in the sight of all the Hethites who came to the gate of his city. 19 After this, Abraham buried his wife Sarah in the cave of the field at Machpelah near Mamre (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan. 20 The field with its cave passed from the Hethites to Abraham as burial property.

HOPE IN LIFE AND DEATH

There are two major emphases in Genesis 23.

One of the ways to track the central focus of a passage is to look for repeated words of phrases.

It’s tempting to assume this chapter is all about Sarah because it’s her death that’s under consideration.

But Sarah’s name is used only sparingly. The vast majority of times that Sarah is mentioned she’s referred to as “my dead.” Let me bury my dead.

This is one of the words that gets repeated over and over again.

Genesis 23 is about Abraham grieving the death of a spouse.

But that’s not the only emphasis of this chapter. Another way to track the main focus of a passage is the use of what’s called an “inclusio.”

Think of it like to bookends on a book shelf. They’re matching words/phrases that hold a section together.

In this case, the words that get repeated are the “that is Hebron in the land of Canaan.” Gen 23:2, 19

Just as Genesis 21-22 were focused on Abraham’s inheritance of God’s promised child.

Genesis 23 focuses on Abraham’s receiving God’s land of promise.

I think Moses is intentionally creating a connection between the dark night of grief and the power of faith in God’s promise.

God often uses our greatest hurt to establish in us an even greater hope in his covenant promise.

What do we learn about death and the dark night of grief from this passage? We actually see several things.

Responding to Death

The first is wrapped up in Abraham’s immediate response to the death of his wife in verse 2.

Abraham went in to “mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.” (Gen 23:2)

Two different Hebrew words are used that carry similar but distinct meanings.

The first is translated “mourn” and conveys the idea of a funeral proceeding or some formal custom to acknowledge the passing of a loved one.

But the second word is much more emotive and personal. It’s translated “weep” and conveys the idea of incessant crying and profuse sadness or distress.

Abraham was completely wrecked by the passing of his wife Sarah.

As is often said when we grieve the passing of a loved one, the presence of tears often exposes the depth of shared love.

This response by Abraham tells us something about the nature of death and how God’s people should view it.

Unwelcome Intruder

Namely, death is an unwelcome intrusion to the way things ought to be.

Death is unnatural.

I know that sounds odd. In one sense, death is the most natural thing of all. Everybody dies. Everything decays.

Spring and summer are always followed by Fall and Winter. Death is woven in the very fabric of reality as we know it.

But every time a human person dies it feels wrong. It’s not just sad, it’s wrong. This isn’t the way things were meant to be.

God has placed eternity in the heart of man because we were originally made to live forever. When God’s design is fully restored we’ll once again live forever.

Abraham isn’t just grieving Sarah’s death because of the finality of the separation between him and her. He’s grieving her death because death isn’t right!

Because death is an intrusion it right for us to grieve what we’ve lost.

That’s exactly what Abraham does in the face of death and that’s even what Jesus does at the tomb of his friend Lazarus. (John 11:35)

John 11:35 CSB

35 Jesus wept.

It’s the smallest verse in the Bible but illustrates a big truth about death.

The word translated wept doesn’t just mean sadness. It’s a sadness mixed with anger. The analogy is that of a horse pounding his hooves on the ground.

We’re angry in the face of death because we rightly see it as an intruder and a thief.

Death isn’t just the theft of the people we love. Death exposes the theft of something much deeper and more profound: eternal communion in love.

The tears we cry at death are tears of protest and angst. This is not the way it’s meant to be.

Unexpected Teacher

Which leads to the second thing we learn about death from this passage. A second way God’s people should view the reality of death.

Death is an unwelcome intrusion but it’s also an unique teacher.

That’s why Solomon says it’s better to go to a house of morning than it is a house of feasting. (Ecc 7:2)

Why is it better? “Because death is the end of every man and the living should take it to heart.”

Death can teach us something about the nature of the universe and our role in it.

Death exists in the world because of sin. It’s true it was never part of God’s design but that doesn’t mean it can’t teach us about God’s future plan.

The reality of death forces us to ask the question of WHY.

Why does death exist?

Death exists because of sin.

Sin is the reason death exists and physical death points us to an even greater and more serious death which is the spiritual death we all experience due to our separation from God.

We are all rebels against God and separated in our proximity to him.

We were created to know and love God, enjoying him forever but because of sin we are not separated from God, hiding from him and resisting his will.

Sin disconnects us from God and it disconnects us from our purpose and death teaches us that truth in a most compelling way.

Death is an instructor so we should learn from what it has to teach us.

Instead of ignoring death or avoiding it we should death have it’s instructive affect.

Not only does death teach us about the consequence of sin it also teaches us what really matters in life.

You can’t attach a uhaul to your hurst can you? The one who dies with the most toys still dies.

The things that matter most in life aren’t the material and financial things but the people God has given us to love and the memories we creating in doing so.

I’ve never given a eulogy that paid tribute to someone because of all the money they made.

It’s never their accumulation of stuff. It’s always their impact on people!

An Unlikely Invitation

The third thing we learn about death from this passage is that death is a unexpected invitation to trust in the promise of God.

I mentioned earlier how Moses used an inclusio in verse 2 and again in verse 19 to draw our attention to the main point of this chapter.

The main point isn’t just that Sarah died and Abraham grieved it. It’s that Sarah’s death became the catalyst for inheriting God’s promise of land.

Genesis 23:3–4 CSB

3 When Abraham got up from beside his dead wife, he spoke to the Hethites: 4 “I am an alien residing among you. Give me burial property among you so that I can bury my dead.”

It was in responding to Sarah’s death that Abraham secured the legal rights to property in the land of Canaan.

The bulk of this chapter explains this negotiated land settlement. It’s actually pretty interesting.

Entering Negotiations

Abraham engages the Hethites in conversation about getting a burial plot for his wife in verses 4-6. Genesis 23:4-6

Genesis 23:4–6 CSB

4 “I am an alien residing among you. Give me burial property among you so that I can bury my dead.” 5 The Hethites replied to Abraham, 6 “Listen to us, my lord. You are a prince of God among us. Bury your dead in our finest burial place. None of us will withhold from you his burial place for burying your dead.”

Notice Abraham points out the fact that he is a “alien” residing among you.

That wasn’t because Abraham wasn’t well loved or well respected in that community. He obviously had gained a good reputation for himself.

But for most of Abraham’s life he was a nomad moving from place to place, always renting never really owning any land for himself.

God had promised him land but in every place that he’s ever gone he’s never had legal rights to the land on which he laid his head.

The response of the Hethites seems generous on the surface, but what they’re really doing is denying Abraham’s request.

They’re saying, “we’ll give you a place to bury your wife but we’re not going to legally sign over any of our land. Just bury your family in land that we own and gracious allow you to reside in.”

Getting Specific

That’s not good enough for Abraham. He’s a man of faith and he believes that God is faithful to his promises.

So he goes from a broad request to a specific ask of a specific person about a specific section of a specific property.

Genesis 23:7–9 CSB

7 Then Abraham rose and bowed down to the Hethites, the people of the land. 8 He said to them, “If you are willing for me to bury my dead, listen to me and ask Ephron son of Zohar on my behalf 9 to give me the cave of Machpelah that belongs to him; it is at the end of his field. Let him give it to me in your presence, for the full price, as burial property.”

Why Ephron? Why this cave? We’re not really sure. Maybe Abraham just had a special fondness for the look of it. Maybe Ephron had become a friend with which he had some good will. Maybe the cave had unique features and he wanted to secure it as a burial site for his family.

Whatever the reasons, Abraham isn’t looking for charity and nor for any “casual” agreement. He wants a legally binding contract in the presence of the city leaders, at the city gates for the full asking price.

Ephron’s Response

What will Ephron’s response be? He just so happened to be sitting at the city gates in the hearing of the whole discussion! Genesis 23:10-11

Genesis 23:10–11 CSB

10 Ephron was sitting among the Hethites. So in the hearing of all the Hethites who came to the gate of his city, Ephron the Hethite answered Abraham: 11 “No, my lord. Listen to me. I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. I give it to you in the sight of my people. Bury your dead.”

Ephron is trying to do what all the other Hethite leaders tried to do. “Abraham, brother, we love and appreciate you. But why can’t you just accept this plot as a gift. Why do you insist on purchasing the land in an official legal contract?

This is a throwback to Genesis 14 when the King of Sodom wanted to give Abraham a bunch of stuff for coming to save the day. Abraham refused it all because he didn’t want it to be said of him that Sodom made Abraham rich.

He was making an intentional choice to NOT trust in the generosity of pagans but to trust in the promise of God.

Counter Offer

So Abraham makes a counter offer. Genesis 23:12-18

Genesis 23:12–18 CSB

12 Abraham bowed down to the people of the land 13 and said to Ephron in the hearing of the people of the land, “Listen to me, if you please. Let me pay the price of the field. Accept it from me, and let me bury my dead there.” 14 Ephron answered Abraham and said to him, 15 “My lord, listen to me. Land worth four hundred shekels of silver—what is that between you and me? Bury your dead.” 16 Abraham agreed with Ephron, and Abraham weighed out to Ephron the silver that he had agreed to in the hearing of the Hethites: four hundred standard shekels of silver. 17 So Ephron’s field at Machpelah near Mamre—the field with its cave and all the trees anywhere within the boundaries of the field—became 18 Abraham’s possession in the sight of all the Hethites who came to the gate of his city.

Commentators debate as to whether or not 400 shekels of silver is a large amount or a small amounts. It’s impossible to know as different time periods weighed out a shekel of silver differently.

I honestly think this was a large amount of money and the “overly polite” discourse between the two was just a tactic of how negotiations were done in that culture.

The point it, Abraham succeeded in securing property for his family at 400 shekels and Abraham was wealthy enough to afford it. It was a legally binding sale done at the city gates in the presence of all the city leaders so there could be no trickery or take-backs.

Burial Plot = Promise of Life

Death is an invitation to trust God to keep his promise.

Even through the dark night of your soul. We should trust him to keep his promise.

God brings Abraham back to the place where he had demonstrated his faithfulness time and time again.

The place where he had built an altar to the Lord (Gen 13:18)

A place named after the man who helped Abraham defeat the invasion from the East. (Gen 14:24)

The place where God told him that Sarah would bear a son in her old age. (Gen 18:1-5)

Where Abraham argued with God over the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. (Gen 18:16-23)

What looks like a negotiation to bury his wife is really God’s way to demonstrating to Abraham he is faithful to keep his promises even through the dark of night.

And what promise specifically is God keeping? The promise of Land.

It’s a promise that harkens back to Genesis 12 but really harkens even further back to the Garden of Eden.

From Genesis 3 onward every generation has been asking, “Is this the promised seed who will crush the head of the serpent and restore us back to the Garden of Eden.”

The promise land = the Restoration of Eden and eternal communion and fellowship with God and one another.

Moses is making this connection intentionally and he’s doing so within the framework of Sarah’s death.

Even through the dark night of death, the promises of God shine through.

Even through Abraham’s greatest hurt God established an even greater hope.

It was through death that God fulfilled his promise. And this promise of land to Abraham points to an even greater promise through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus is that promises seed who crushes the head of the serpent and brings us back to the Garden of Eden.

How was it that God kept his promise to redeem us from the curse of sin and restore us back into relationship with our creator?

It was through death. It was through the death of his one and only son that he made atonement for our sin and paid the price for our freedom.

A DEFEATED ENEMY

Which leads us to the final truth about death that we can learn from this passage.

Death is an unwelcome intrusion, we should grieve what we’ve lost.

Death is an unique instructor, we should learn from what it teaches.

Death is an unexpected invitation, we should trust God to keep his promise.

Finally we can see that death is a universal enemy that will one day be erased.

We don’t see this truth stated explicitly in Genesis 23. But we’ve just seen how Genesis 23 points to God’s covenant promises to us in Jesus.

The death of Jesus on the cross was how God purchased our freedom and rest.

The resurrection of Jesus from the dead illustrates our ultimate triumph over this enemy.

We know from Genesis 22 that Abraham had this kind of faith. He had placed in hope in the resurrection life that is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

The author of the book of Hebrews says Abraham did what he did by faith because he was looking forward to the city that is to come. Hebrews 11:10

Hebrews 11:10 CSB

10 For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

He died not fully possessing the fullness of this promise but lived as through it was as good as done. Hebrews 11:13

Hebrews 11:13 CSB

13 These all died in faith, although they had not received the things that were promised. But they saw them from a distance, greeted them, and confessed that they were foreigners and temporary residents on the earth.

And that’s the invitation for us as we face down the enemy of death.

We, like Abraham are aliens and sojourners on this earth. This world is not our home, it’s been compromised by sin and brokenness.

But we’ve been given a promise by Almighty God through faith in Jesus Christ. And through hope in that promise we can find healing from our greatest hurts.

This world is broken. It’s not the way it’s supposed to be!

But in Jesus God is making all things new. The old will pass away and something better is going to take it’s place.

We all know deep down there’s gotta be more than this. There’s a longing for something better.

That better thing is in Jesus. Our citizenship is in heaven. Until that day we’re invited to cling to the promises of God.

1 Peter 1:3–5 CSB

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead 4 and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. 5 You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

What is that salvation that is ready to be revealed?

Revelation 21:3–5 CSB

3 Then I heard a loud voice from the throne: Look, God’s dwelling is with humanity, and he will live with them. They will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them and will be their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away. 5 Then the one seated on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new.” He also said, “Write, because these words are faithful and true.”

Death is a universal enemy that will one day be erased. Jesus has already redeemed us from the curse of sin and death.

The question is, have you received that grace personally by faith? Or are you still hoping trying to be good enough for God.

In Life and In Dead our HOPE IS IN JESUS.

Are you resting in God’s promise through Jesus or are you resting in something else?

Trust in Jesus.