Marriage: Created By God To Be Held in Honor Among All (Matthew 19:4;22:30; Genesis 2:18-25)
Notes
Transcript
Holding the Tension of truth and pastoral care.
Holding the Tension of truth and pastoral care.
Pastoral ministry is filled with many tensions. On the one hand, God has obligated me to proclaim his truth in season and out of season. That is, I am to preach the truth of God’s word when it s well received and when I know people will reject it in anger.
On the other hand, God has called me as a pastor to care for my sheep. I am to be intentional in being wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. Peter exhorts his fellow elders,
2 to be compassionate shepherds who tenderly care for God’s flock and who feed them well, for you have the responsibility to guide, protect, and oversee. Consider it a joyous pleasure and not merely a religious duty. Lead from the heart under God’s leadership—not as a way to gain finances dishonestly but as a way to eagerly and cheerfully serve. 3 Don’t be controlling tyrants but lead others by your beautiful examples to the flock.
Divorce is a significant issue in the church, community, and home that affects us all. We all know that God hates divorce, yet with the high rates of divorce in our society, it is likely that every family in our church has been impacted by divorce. The situation is further complicated by conflicting views among theologians and pastors on what the Bible teaches about divorce and remarriage. In addition, our sinful nature inclines us to take the path of least resistance, testing the balance between truth and care to its limits.
My aim is to truthfully address the topics of marriage, divorce, and remarriage with a truth driven compassionate pastoral approach. I am requesting that you extend grace to me and the elders of our church as we navigate these complex issues. Additionally, I ask that you approach the word of God with humility. Whether divorced or not, forgiveness is available to all of us through Jesus. Furthermore, Jesus has provided us with the grace to pursue our redemption through his death, resurrection, and ascension.
I want to begin by offering a high view of marriage. The writer of Hebrews says
4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
My goal today is to hold marriage in honor, and I want to do that by clearing some confusion about marriage and showing God created marriage to be a life-long sanctified monogamous covenant relationship between a man and a woman that expresses the same single-minded heart-united loyal love that Jesus shares with His church. Today we only have time for clearing up confusion and helping you see that marriage was created by God. There will be two more sermons on marriage. Then we will look at divorce and remarriage. First, let us clear up some confusion our culture and government has about marriage.
Modernity Confuses Marriage by celebrating Cohabitation
Modernity Confuses Marriage by celebrating Cohabitation
With the loss of the churches moral compass in society, for many in our culture under 35 years old, cohabitation is celebrated as much of a sign of commitment as marriage was fifty years ago. Benjamin Gurrentz, who writes for the United States Census Bureau, reported,
“For some young adults, living together has become a more common option than marriage, according to new U.S. Census Bureau estimates released today [2018]. The annual America’s Families and Living Arrangements tables package shows that the proportion of young adults who live with an unmarried partner continues to rise. Among those ages 18-24, cohabitation is now more prevalent than living with a spouse: 9 percent live with an unmarried partner in 2018, compared to 7 percent who live with a spouse. In 2018, 15 percent of young adults ages 25-34 live with an unmarried partner, up from 12 percent 10 years ago.” (https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2018/11/cohabitation-is-up-marriage-is-down-for-young-adults.html)
Suzanne Venker of the Washington Examiner notes, “Over the past 25 years, cohabiting has risen exponentially. Ironically, millennials view cohabitation as a sign of commitment, something with which the couple should feel proud, as if announcing you’re moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend is something to celebrate.” (https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/579155/the-secular-case-against-living-together-before-marriage/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=WE_DSA_NewTargeting_2024&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLMEswjDjqRwtpEdhOXg2QN4dy3kgF2bA8hu0q3ubfCwQuLTfypsVmywaAteeEALw_wcB)
Furthermore, this is not just a millennial problem. The Pew Research Center says, “While many Americans see societal benefits in marriage generally, when asked specifically about raising children, a majority (59%) says that couples who are living together but not married can raise children just as well as married couples. Four-in-ten say married couples do a better job of raising children than couples living together but not married.” (https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/public-views-of-marriage-and-cohabitation/#:~:text=A%20slight%20majority%20of%20Americans,ethnicity%2C%20religious%20affiliation%20and%20party.)
There is nothing to celebrate about cohabitation. The research shows that cohabitation can have negative impacts on relationships and children. Couples who live together before getting engaged or without ever getting married are more likely to break up or get divorced. Cohabiting couples are also more prone to experiencing violence and infidelity compared to married couples. Additionally, children of cohabiting parents face increased risks such as premature birth, school failure, and a higher incidence of poverty during childhood.
As culture celebrates cohabitation, the state regards marriage as just a contract, causing even more confusion.
Magistrate Confuses Marriage by seeing it as nothing more than a Contract
Magistrate Confuses Marriage by seeing it as nothing more than a Contract
State governments defines marriage as a legally binding contract among individuals. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, 750 ILCS 5/Pt. II (Marriage), requires that, for a marriage to be legal, it must be 1) licensed, 2) solemnized, and 3) registered. That means the couple must obtain a marriage license from the Clerk of the County where the marriage ceremony will take place. Moreover, a spouse is simply a party to a marriage, a party to a civil union, or a registered domestic partner. Cornell Law School teaches its law students that Marriage is the legal union of individuals. The basic elements of a marriage are: (1) the parties' legal ability to marry each other, (2) mutual consent of the parties, and (3) a marriage contract as required by law. (https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/marriage#:~:text=Marriage%20is%20the%20legal%20union,See%20also%20Common%2DLaw%20Marriage.)
Marriage is not merely a contract between two parties. Contracts can be easily broken or renegotiated for better terms for one party. Marriage was never meant to be this calculated, cold, nor is it meant to be subject to such futility that comes with an agreement of words on a paper licensed by the government. The government has not idea how to bind a family together, sustain the family through storms that come in a Genesius three world, nor does it have the authority to ordain the union of two people. Our government cannot tell the difference between a boy and or girl, or even define what a woman is, let alone be an established authority on marriage.
Because the culture celebrates cohabitation as commitment and the state sees marriage merely as a contract between two individuals, sexual diversion (everything from infidelity to the LGBTQ movement) has found legitimacy in our society. When sexual diversion is seen as legitimate by a society, it is doomed to collapse.
In 1934, an Oxford and Cambridge academic, J.D. Unwin, M.C., Ph.D., published the results of an exhaustive study of 86 different societies over five thousand years, concerning monogamy, free sexual expression and rampant promiscuity, and their impact upon society, entitled Sex and Culture. Unwin was a rationalist with no religious agenda. A rationalist is concerned with the morality of what is right and wrong as mush as what science can prove.
Unwin studied 86 societies; Roman, Greek, Sumerian, Moorish, Babylonian, and Anglo-Saxon civilizations. He concluded,
In human records, there is no instance of a society retaining its energy after a complete new generation has inherited a tradition which does not insist on pre-nuptial and post-nuptial continence
– Sex and Culture by J.D. Unwin
What he means is that of all the cultures studied by Unwin that legitimized sexual diversion, none of them survived. He goes on to show that none survived for more than three generations after completely abandoning support for sexual modesty, heterosexual marriage, and monogamy." Michale Noles made this observation on the Joe Rogan Podcast show while discussing Unwin’s research., that
Unwin witnessed that monogamy produces a net benefit to society, whilst promiscuity and sexual divergence drain society, establishing decline.
And who is really behind this decline? The arch enemy of God. The Slanderer and Liar himself, Satan. Martin Luther rightly said over four hundred years ago,
There is no estate to which Satan is more opposed as to marriage.
Martin Luther (Founder of the German Reformation)
The prince of the power of the air (Eph 2:2) has his influence on western culture, and his purpose is to sow confusion. Confusion leads to embracing false ideas about truth, in this case, the truth about God’s design and desire for holy matrimony. The truth is,
God created marriage to be a life-long sanctified monogamous covenant relationship between a man and a woman that expresses the same single-minded heart-united loyal love that Jesus shares with His church.
God created marriage to be a life-long sanctified monogamous covenant relationship between a man and a woman that expresses the same single-minded heart-united loyal love that Jesus shares with His church.
Marriage is not simply a social construct or just a contract between two individuals. It is designed and created by God, giving Him the authority to define its purpose.
Marriage was created by God (Genesis 2:18-25; Matthew 19:4-5; 22:30; Gen 1:26-28)
Marriage was created by God (Genesis 2:18-25; Matthew 19:4-5; 22:30; Gen 1:26-28)
In a conversation with Pharisees whose intention was to question Jesus about the legitimacy of divorce in any circumstance, Jesus first takes them to the one who created marriage. Jesus says,
4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
Jesus is referring to the creation and marriage of Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:18-25. According to the bible, God created Adam first from the ground and then, seeing that Adam needed a companion, created Eve from Adam's rib. This depicts the special connection between a husband and wife, where they become one flesh in holy matrimony. What you witness in this text is God’s design of marriage. A careful look at Matthew 19:4-5; 22:30 and Genesis 2:18-25, you will notice five unique truths about marriage.
God created marriage gender specific (Genesis 1:27; Matthew 19:4)
God created marriage gender specific (Genesis 1:27; Matthew 19:4)
The first truth Jesus points out about marriage is God created them male and female. Moses says
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Both males and females are created in God’s image and are equally valuable as His image bearers. You are not an animal as atheistic evolution would prescribe. God made you separate from the animal kingdom as the apex of his creation, as the only one’s worthy of receiving his special blessings, namely salvation.
Despite their equal value, Adam and Eve are distinct and complement each other. In the context of marriage, men and women relate to one another in a way that brings completion, which cannot be achieved through sameness. For instance, God designed the natural process of birthing children to require the union of a man and a woman. Their distinct design complements each other to produce children or a family.
Christian ethicist Ken Magnuson explains it this way when he says, “Distinct and complementary” does not refer simply to two individuals who are different—which could obviously be used of any two people—but to the two ways of existing as human beings, male and female, each with basic distinct and complementary features. The union of male and female is a union of two who are alike yet different.”
This is a problem for those who advocate same-sex unions. Because they are the same, they cannot complement each other. With all things being equal under natural law, if you plant the entire same-sex population of America in the state of Ohio, their sameness will bring them extinction because they will not be able to produce children.
Furthermore, Jesus said, “God made them male and female.” There are only two genders. No where in the scriptures, nor in natural law, are you going to find more than two genders. You may find mutations and divergence, but that is not the norm. God’s inerrant and fully sufficient word and his glorious creation testify that there is no room for discussion on the existence of gender fluidity. God never allowed that door to be open in Genesis, and those who try to open it find Jesus on the other side, slamming it shut in the Gospel of Matthew. He made them male and female.
God created marriage for meaningful relationship (Gen 2:18; 23-25)
God created marriage for meaningful relationship (Gen 2:18; 23-25)
In Genesis 2, God made it clear that Adam was alone and needed someone like him (Gen 2:18). Taking a rib from Adam, God fashioned Eve, creating human relationship. It wasn’t that God was not enough companionship for Adam. God wanted Adam to be in relationship with others like him. There was a need for Adam to be in community. Marriage is an expression of our need for meaningful relationships.
In Genesis 2:23-25, Moses helps us see how marriage fulfills our need for meaningful relationship.
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
God does not create Eve from the ground. Instead he constructs her from Adam. Adam had all the living creatures at his feet, and yet not one of them was a suitable compliment. Which, on a side note, before our culture gets really out of hand and begins endorsing bestiality, God makes it clear that man is not to marry or have sexual relations with an animal. Just as sameness does not compliment, neither does creature compliment image bearer. No matter how much you love your pet, your pet is not capable of satisfying your need for meaningful relationship.
God knew Adam needed someone more suitable for his embodied soul. Adam needed someone who was “bone of his bone” and “flesh of his flesh,” someone whom he could become one with in body and spirit. Adam recognizes this in Eve when he says, “At last! Eve! She’s of me. She is not like the other created animals. She is special too me because she is from me and yet is different than me. She compliments me.” And Old Testament scholar Dr. Dru Johnson notes, “When Adam discovers Eve, he discovers community.” When Adam discovers Eve, he discovers God’s good gift of meaningful relationship, specifically in marriage.
God created marriage for family (Gen 1:28; Genesis 2:24-25)
God created marriage for family (Gen 1:28; Genesis 2:24-25)
Moses says in Genesis 1:28
28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
God's first command to Adam and Eve was to "be fruitful and multiply." The other instruction was to fill the earth with offspring. Their offspring were meant to subdue and rule over all creation. One of God’s main purposes for marriage is to create children, who form the family unit. The family, made up of a husband, wife, and children, is meant to work together to serve God through offspring, expansion, labor, and governance (Ken Magnuson). As Magnuson explains,
“Male and female are created by God for the purpose of coming together in fruitful service to God and his creation.” Ken Magnuson
“Male and female are created by God for the purpose of coming together in fruitful service to God and his creation.” Ken Magnuson
I want to emphasize the importance of recognizing how God created humans as male and female, and how meaningful relationships are deeply connected to the family unit. It's important to acknowledge that when a child is born into a family, they are not just the child of the mother or just the child of the father, but rather, they are the child of both, created in their image, with bone of their bone and flesh of their flesh. The child carries the blood of both the husband and the wife. A child inherits physical and personality traits from their parents, such as having their mother's eyes or their father's humor.
Furthermore, the dynamics of meaningful relationships grow into a family community. On the one hand, marriage is an exclusive relationship between a man and a woman, but on the other hand, it is inclusive in that their meaningful relationship broadens to their children, creating more meaningful relationships. These then extend outward to grandchildren, aunts and uncles, cousins, and then eventually to your neighbor in hospitality and fruitful service. These God gifted intimate relationships in marriage and family are what helps humanity thrive when they are explored in their rightful context of life-long sanctified monogamous covenant matrimony.
Chuck Colson, who was a great Christian apologist who wrote on American culture, once said,
The family is the most basic unit of government. As the first community to which a person is attached and the first authority under which a person learns to live, the family establishes society’s most basic values.
Charles Colson; Charles W. Colson
Satan has fired, as Adrian Rogers says it, all the artillery of hell against your family to break up your home. Why? Because he knows that a strong Christ centered Spirit empowered marriage is the kernel seed to a healthy family. And when that kernel seed is sown into the soil of society, that society will flourish by joyfully advancing the kingdom of God in the church, community, and home. When marriages are Christ-rock solid the family is Christ-rock solid. When the family is Christ-rock solid, society is Christ-rock solid. When society is Christ-rock solid, the unrighteous have no place to spread, confusion, disorder, and wickedness. God’s commands are clearly understood, respected, and the voice of truth is heard and obeyed. We flourish as a people when Christ is hold fast to God’s design of marriage.
Brothers and sisters, when Satan is able to sit at the table of our culture with a legitimate voice that says marriage is antiquated and outdated, he destroys the family and the basic Christian values that God has given us to flourish. When Satan is able to confuse our society with ideas of gender fluidity, he destroys the family and the God-gifted truths our society is built. When Satan is able to convince the nation that love is arbitrary and that same sex unions are as sacred as the marriage union God has established, Satan destroys the family and western civilization crumbles at his feet. Its a horrifying thing for a nation to fall into the hands of Satan. For the end of Satan and those who fall into his hands is the eternal judgment of God.
If that saddens you it should, but it should not devastate you. Brothers and sisters, our hope is not in marriage, at least marriage in this world.
God created marriage as we know it for this world only (Matthew 22:30)
God created marriage as we know it for this world only (Matthew 22:30)
In Matthew 19, Jesus discusses marriage with the religious leaders. He challenges their belief that marriage will continue after the resurrection. According to Jesus, sexual relationships will change, and marriage will no longer exist. This is because Jesus is jealous of his bride, the church. In heaven, there is only one marriage between Jesus and His church.
Marriage on earth is subject to failure due to the presence of sin and death in the world since Genesis three. However, Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life, died on the cross as an atoning sacrifice for our sins, bore the wrath of God, was buried for three days, and rose from the dead as the perfect sacrifice required by God for His bride, the church. Now, Jesus is in heaven, where He intercedes for His bride, the church. He poured out his Spirit on His Bride empowering her for fruitful service and sealed her for the day of salvation. Pauls says that Jesus gave himself up for his bride,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Jesus’s marriage to his church is a marriage to you, brothers and sisters. It is the perfect marriage. It is perfect because Jesus sanctifies you, cleanses the you with His word, presents you with splendor, holy, and without blemish with his own blood, his own atonement, and the power of His resurrection. Not only is our marriage to Christ the perfect marriage, but it is a marriage Satan cannot destroy. It is an everlasting marriage with no opportunity for divorce. Jesus will never divorce his bride, and he will never let Satan have her the way Adam did on the Garden of Eden. Jesus protects his bride by sealing her with his own Spirit. Oh sinner, hear the word of God this morning. Jesus invites you into meaningful relationship by which he covenants to keep with you for all eternity. He gives you a new beautiful identity and invites you into His family. Confess your sin. Repent. Give your life to Jesus. He will sanctify you, cleanse you, and present you to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, so that you will be holy and without blemish. He will empower you for fruitful service and flourishing for his kingdom, and like a faithful husband to his wife, he will never leave or forsake you.
Marriage is far more than simply living together under the terms of a contract. It was created by God with specific guidelines to help humanity thrive. God set marriage apart from the rest of creation (animals do not marry), designing it specifically for his male and female image-bearers to complement each other. Marriage is a gift meant to foster meaningful intimate relationships, leading to the growth of healthy families that dedicate themselves to fruitful service and hospitality. Ultimately, marriage is intended to help govern the earth, allowing society to thrive.
Take heart, church. While the Lord gives us grace to live for the time we live, let us remember these truths to help us maintain God’s view of marriage while we wait for Christ to consummate His marriage to the church upon his return.