Worthy Widows
Notes
Transcript
Intro
Intro
Paul’s First Letter to Timothy
Paul is an apostle, responsible for taking the Gospel to the gentiles, including to a place called Ephesus (now on the western coast of Turkye)
Timothy is something of a protege to Paul, a younger church leader who has been sent to Ephesus to get things in good order at the Church.
The letter focuses mainly on instructions to Timothy as a leader on how to run the church. This includes lots of instructions around good teaching in the church, setting up local leaders and how people are to relate to one another.
Our passage today returns to the theme of how we are to relate to one another with a particular focus on how to test and treat widows in the congregation.
Now, before you are tempted to check out, because we do not have a large cohort of widows in our own context, you may be surprised at how relevant this passage is for our own day.
Our passage can be roughly divided into 4 segments.
The first is:
Age-Appropriate Exhortations
Age-Appropriate Exhortations
v1-2
This first section is quite short, one sentence that talks about age-appropriate ways to deal with those in our spiritual family:
Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
We are called to honor people differently in accordance with their place in relation to us. Just as kids honour their parents, not because their parents are necessarily the best parents, but because of the place they hold under God.
Same goes for those around us in church.
Now Paul is probably specifically addressing Timothy in his role as a young leader, but it is good wisdom no matter who you are.
With the scriptures in mind, anyone can learn the ways of God. And, all of us are sinners.
So, it would not be unsurprising if some young fella learns God’s word, then sees an older fella at church not following God’s word.
He also knows that because we love one another in Jesus, we should call out sin and call people to follow Christ more completeley.
But, there is wisdom in how one goes about doing that, and Paul here is saying you treat those older than you with respect, as if you were trying to tell your own dad about a sin issue he needed to deal with.
Now you may have a Dad that loves straight talk and abrupt conversations, but I daresay most of us, especially those more advanced in years, are going to be more responsive to an encouraging gentle rebuke, than from a sharp rebuke from a young upstart.
Honour and respect are at an all time low it seems, so you may not even have categories for this. Maybe a good way to explain it is like the way you would talk to your boss. Sometimes they need to hear the bad news, but you don’t come up to them and tell them off, you come up with respect and broach the topic with care so that you get a good hearing and they know you’re not trying to subvert them or attack them.
But these principles are not just from young blokes to older ones, this goes every which way. Paul encourages Timothy to treat everyone in church as if they are your family. Older women are your mothers, younger women are your sisters, young men are your brothers.
Although we may poke and prod and get on each others nerves at times, siblings, families, look out for one another, protect each other and treat each other with great honor. We keep everything above board and act out of love.
Now in this family, there is a particular way that love should take shape, and that is with care for widows.
Which is our next segment:
Worthy Widows - Part 1
Worthy Widows - Part 1
v3-7
This passage makes it clear that in the Ephesian church there was some kind of system for the care of widows. This kind of thing had been happening even in the earliest days of the church in seen Acts 6, where they ended up electing deacons to manage the practical matters of providing food to the widows there. In Ephesus this wasn’t just about feeding the needy, but these widows appear to have some service in the church.
Now, why was there a need for this? Well, in their societal context widows were vulnerable and common. People in the first century had nowhere near the life expectancy that we enjoy, and so it was quite common for women to loose their husband to illness or injury. Now it’s not like they had companies where you could just go get a job to make ends meet, most families earned their living as a family unit, and so when the “boss” died, it could be quite a precarious position for the wife. They also didn’t have social security systems like pensions that anyone could access when they got too old to work. There’s always exceptions to the rule, like Lydia the purple cloth dealer, and nobles would have had pensions of some description. But for the vast majority, being a single lady was not nearly as safe a proposition as it is today.
So, the church would step in and look after the practical needs of these widows who may have otherwise been out on the street or starving. This is a wonderful pursuit, that is a direct expression of God’s love. He care for widows and orphans, the poor and the oppressed. And as we read in Zechariah, God calls his people to act on his behalf for people caught in these situations. It is a sign that your heart is soft before God when you are willing to serve others in this way.
But unfortunately, as with all generosity there are those who would try to take advantage of this care. Paul gives Timothy instructions on how to manage the Widow care ministry of the church:
Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.
Paul puts limits on who should be enrolled in the church program.
Now just because of the fact that a woman is widowed, it does not therefore follow that she should go straight into the support program. IF she has kids or grand kids, the family should take up responsibility to care for the lady. They have a duty of care toward their mother/grandmother to look after her.
This was pretty much a given in the ancient greco-roman world. You were understood to have a debt to your parents because of how they loved you and cared for you and brought you up when you could do nothing for yourself. Now when they are older, you should repay the debt as they become unable to look after themselves.
Unfortunately we have become less attentive to this fact in our day. Many people assume that because of things like superannuation and pensions that they have no duty to care for their parents. They think that they can just hand off their older relatives to retirement villages, then nursing homes, then a hospice.
It boils my blood to hear of elderly folk who lie dying in nursing homes who have not had a visit, let alone a phone call from their own children in years.
We can give thanks to the Lord that we have systems in place that ensure elderly folk get looked after, but this is no excuse to pass off our relatives as if they are wilting flowers on bin day.
Younger relatives must show real practical godliness by caring for their parents & grandparents, particularly widows.
This is pleasing in the sight of God. Please God, look after your older relatives!
It may mean making extra room in your house or adding on an extensions.
It may mean restructuring your life to care for an extra person.
It may mean learning how to shower and dress people who can’t walk.
It may mean awkward situations around mental decline.
But It is the way of godly sacrifice!
It is a blessing to your relatives and a service that is pleasing in the sight of God!
Now, what if the widow doesn’t have family? If they are truly in need, and she is a true believer she should be included:
She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach.
Are you used to thinking in these kid of categories?
We’re going to come back to how “true” widows should be treated in just a minute, but do you see what Paul is setting up here?
There are qualifications for who gets to the material support of the church. Those people who are just here to get some freebies are not accepted. But how do you tell who’s genuine?
She has a lifestyle that demonstrates she truly is serving the Lord. She is a true Christian.
She has set her hope on God, not the things of this world, and,
She is a prayer warrior! She prays without ceasing! She’s all-in for the Lord!
As opposed to
Being self indulgent. Focused on self and what I can get. What I want, and what makes me comfortable of happy.
This kind of lady, she’s already dead inside. There is no hope, there is no life, there is only scrabbling for self-satisfaction which, as many of us know from experience, never leads to lasting joy.
Self indulgence is the way of death.
So you ladies, it’s not as if this pattern of life only comes into play when you become a widow. I think it’s pretty safe to say that if you are self-indulgent while your husband lives, you’re not going to magically become faithful and prayerful when he’s dead.
Yes, the worthy widows will have their hope set on God, but long before you reach your widowhood, I hope that this will describe you well. That you would turn away from self indulgence and toward prayerfulness.
Instead of feeding your own desires endlessly, make a sacrifice of praise to the Lord.
Instead of nurturing covetousness, nurture payers.
Instead of pleading for your own causes, intercede on behalf of others.
If you pursue hope in God, putting to death the desires of the flesh, and continuing in prayer, you will be above reproach!
Fulfill Family Obligations
Fulfill Family Obligations
v8
Before Paul goes any further on the topic of widows, he takes a beat to reinforce the comments he just made about families caring for their older relatives. He says:
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Switch from the feminine “she” of widows to the collective he - as the male language is the inclusive language, it seems Paul is saying that anyone who refuses to care for their relatives is worse than an unbeliever.
Sometimes this verse is pulled out to reprimand the man who won’t go get a job to support his family, and that is an application that can be inferred from this, but Paul here is primarily talking about those who won’t care for elderly relatives.
There is a wider application than just your direct family, like Boaz in the book of Ruth who very honorably steps in to support even his more distant relatives. But we should “especially” support and provide the living needs for our closest relatives.
There may be hard times that prevent this - getting fired, made redundant, injuries or illness that prevent us from working, etc, but we should use whatever power and ability the Lord has given to us to ensure our families are provided for.
This doesn’t mean the fanciest car, the biggest house and the most after-school activities. It does mean that they don’t need to sign up for food-support programs.
This is a matter of spiritual importance, you may as well not be a Christian if you do not do this. In fact, if you are unwilling to do the hard work to provide for your family, you are displaying a spiritual fruit that makes others suspect you’re not in Christ at all.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
If you will not love those of your own household by providing for them insofar as it is in your power, we can only conclude that you do not know God. In fact it’s even worse because you claim that you do know God while you’re acting in such an ungodly way.
Jesus Shows us what true love looks like:
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
You can love your relatives by caring for your own household well.
Prepare for the future: You know your parents and grandparents are older than you, they will need help one day. Start taking steps today so that you’re ready to provide in a time of need.
If you have relatives that you should be providing for, but haven’t, then repent and make amends!
Worthy Widows - Part 2
Worthy Widows - Part 2
v9-16
Paul returns to the theme of widows being supported by the church.
Lets assume all those with relatives who can look after them are taken car of, are there any other qualifications or characteristics we should be looking for?
Yes, they should be of a certain age and reputation:
Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.
We’’l come back to the age thing in a moment. Suffice to say that these widows are older. And for a first century life expectancy, 60 is decently old.
The church should take on the responsibility to care for true Christian widows, and you can tell their faith is genuine because their life bears witness to the facts, they:
Are a “one man woman” - she was faithful to her husband and does not hook-up with other men.
She has a reputation of good works, living out the godly life, deeds like
If she had kids, bringing them up well. Like the godly Elders, kids are a reflection of the parents.
The worthy widow shows hospitality, even doing the menial things like washing feet. We don’t need such jobs today, but we have plenty of jobs that are low honor necessities, like cleaning toilets and changing nappies (obviously not only women do those jobs, but here were are talking specifically about the worthy woman). We should be ready to humble ourselves to these filthy tasks like Jesus Christ was.
The worthy widow has shown that she care for the needy and suffering.
She has a pattern of life that says I value others more than myself and I will sever Jesus with everything in every-way.
If you are a widow in need, we will care for you!
I occasionally get calls on the church phone for help. Unfortunately it’s usually a scam. A Bit of questioning and some attempts to address the real need and they are nowhere to be found.
Sadly this gives us a defensiveness about helping others because we’re used to getting cheated. But I want to assure you, if you’re in real need, you will be really cared for. I’m not promising flashy accommodation and 5-star meals, but you will be provided for by the body of Christ. We will ask questions, that’s just us doing our due diligence. You will know the love of Christ from his people when you are in need.
So, coming back to the question of age. What do we do with younger widows?
But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.
Younger widows are still “marriageable” and there are temptations associated with that. Temptations that could ruin their faith.
Why would this temptation to marry be a problem for the enrolled widows?
It is possible that these widowed women have to take a vow or pledge to remain unmarried and serve the church as a condition of receiving a pension from the church. They could have been a kind of proto-nun. So if they’re younger they would basically be tempted to break their vows. You should never break your vows.
It’s possible that there’s a temptation to marry non-believers which is a bad idea if it can be helped, because people get led astray by their spouse.
Whatever is in Paul’s mind, it’s not exactly clear here. What we can say for sure is “Yes, there is a particular temptation for younger marriageable women to get involved with blokes, and that could be a good thing if they’re the right blokes. If it’s the wrong kind, then they could risk being drawn away from Jesus. It could mean trading eternal joy for momentary happiness.
But for the younger widows there are other temptations too:
Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. For some have already strayed after Satan.
It’s unpopular to talk about the sins of women. But women are sinners too, and like men they have some sins that are more common among their ranks. Because we are different, those differences when affected by sin lead in different directions.
Paul here is picking up on the tendency of young lazy women to get involved in gossip and other sinful talk. It’s not only idle women who do this, but when there’s nothing else for them to do, it can take up that empty space quite easily. The proverb says: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” Pr 10:19.
There’s nothing inherently ungodly about visiting your friends, but as with anything, bad motives can make it a sin. For these ladies, if they had all their needs met by the church and they had nothing to do, they could easily just fill the time with idle chatter, gossip and slander.
As a counter to that potential sin, they should pursue the godly and noble task of marriage and motherhood. These are much more beneficial things to do than to while away your days with idle chatter. Keep Satan at bay by marrying and raising kids.
Wives & mothers,
In the scripture there is a priority placed on your place in the home. You’re not confined to the home or anything, but godly wives prioritize and have a special focus toward the family home.
This is not just a cultural thing, this is a facet God’s design.
Let no one deceive you into thinking this is a lesser thing. Many of you have been taught that is is a better thing to go out into the world and serve a corporate machine for self-indulgence than it is to serve your family.
The prov 31 woman was out and about, trading and investing, but it was for the sake of her people, her family, her husband, not because was was a “girl-boss” with a career. Instead of using your skills and abilities to serve corporate overlords or
There will be different stages of life, and different needs at different time, but it is worth seeing if your work outside the home is in anyway detrimental to your family. If it is, then it’s time to make some changes.
Now this is talking about young widows, but Paul is only calling them to pursue a godly life in the estate of marriage. Godliness that any wife & mother should pursue.
Women in the 60s found that managing a household became much easier with modern appliances - the day to day hard work of surviving was taken over by metal servants. Some of them turned to become busybodies, going from house to house and gossiping! So much so it became a cliche - the trussed up housewife with nothing to do but smoke and dish.
But if you are freed from the menial tasks of managing your household, then you are freed to purse even greater things for your people. Take the gifting God has given you and leverage them for the sake of your people. Build, grow, manage,
Younger widows Paul says should pursue marriage, so that Satan would have no occasion to slander. Satan can’t say nasty things about you if you’re too busy serving God by serving your family.
If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.
Once again, people should care for their elderly relatives!
Keep the resources of the church free for those who really need it!
So What?
So What?
Treat everyone in church as if they are your family. Older women are your mothers, younger women are your sisters, young men are your brothers. Speak kindly to them even when you have to encourage them to turn away from evil and pursue good.
Care for your older relatives! If you don’t you’ve denied the faith
We will care for Christian widows in need. Your church family will help you out!
Aim to be a Godly woman, such that there will never be any doubt about your faithfulness to the Lord.