Retaliation & Forbearance: Righteousness in Daily Life

Matthew 5:38–42 ESV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

Last week I mentioned that in our relationships, we don’t pursue trust, we pursue honesty over time.

As we are honest over time trust is formed.

Trust then is equivalent to relationship.

What happens when that relationship is fractured?

I want to begin by showing how the world as a whole views wrong done.

How does the Christian view wrong done?

The Christian does not retaliate.

The Christian forbears with others weakness.

Unfortunately, many of us in this category have only experienced pagan ways of dealing with wrong done.

We’ve been trained by the world.

We’ve only seen “pseudo-Christian” ways of dealing with wrong done.

Matthew 5:38 ESV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’

“An Eye for an Eye”

Jesus quotes from potentially several places in the OT Law (Exodus 21:24, Leviticus 24:20; and Deuteronomy 19:21).

Jesus is not trying to say that Moses was somehow incorrect in what he said in the OT.

Rather, Jesus is elevating and elaborating as the new law giver grounded on better promises.

“Christ is saying, ‘Moses was perfectly correct in stating and enforcing the law of eye-for-eye and tooth-for-tooth justice for a nation of rebellious sinners under a covenant of law.”

“I am stating and demanding, because of my saving grace and the indwelling Holy Spirit, a much higher law of mercy for my disciples in the kingdom of grace.’” —J. Reisinger

Justice in the Old Testament

God gave the “eye-for-eye” command in the middle of other commands.

In the chapter after giving what we know as the Ten Commandments or the “Ten Words” (Exodus 20).

He then gives several chapters what these laws look like to be practically outworked.

Exodus 21:23–24 ESV

But if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,

The principle was simply, the punishment should fit the crime.

There were similar laws found throughout the ancient world.

The purpose of this law was to punish evil and protect the innocent.

Retaliation is NOT always wrong.

It’s NOT always bad.

It’s sometimes good.

Punishment Should Fit the Crime

We want in a court of a law these kinds of laws.

Think about if you went to court because someone hit your car.

They hit you and totaled your car.

If the judge looked at them and said,

“I know they ruined your car and put you out a lot of money, but we’re going to let him off this time.”

If you went to court you would expect to have a punishment fitting with totalling the car.

Maybe they would need to pay for the damages.

But what if you went to court and they said,

“Cut off his arm as payment!”

This would be unjust and unfair.

The punishment should fit the crime.

This is what these laws in the OT did for the people of Israel.

The other factor to consider here is that the judge or magistrate in Israel was meant to affirm that God’s rules for justice were accomplished.

In small matters, a judge could deliberate with the offended parties.

But in larger matters, a judge’s responsibility was to make sure that justice was done according to God’s standard.

What is retaliation?

Retaliation is returning ill for wrong done.

If someone does wrong, then do wrong back to them.

Prisons and the Misunderstandings of Punishment

We live in a confusing time when it comes to justice.

What do you think the purpose of a prison is for?

United States Department of Justice

“Four strategic goals that seek to (1) provide for the safe, secure, and humane confinement of detained persons; (2) ensure that sufficient prison capacity exists; (3) maintain and operate Federal prisons in a safe, secure, and humane manner; and (4) provide productive work, educational, and other programs to meet inmate needs and to help reintegrate former inmates into society.”

Many people would respond with,

“Prisons are used for rehabilitation of criminals.”

Or maybe, “Prisons are used to teach prisoners they were wrong and instill a second chance for them.”

But this idea is so modern that we don’t understand the foundation of a prison’s purpose.

A prison’s purpose is punishment of the guilty and protection of the innocent.

The same is true of the “eye-for-eye” and “tooth-for-tooth” laws.

They are used to condemn the guilty and protect the innocent.

Matthew 5:38–39 (ESV)

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil.

The problem was that people would apply this principle for the magistrate to themselves.

Laws for different spheres of life.

The purpose of these laws in ancient Israel was to punish the evil doer and protect the innocent.

The other piece we must not miss here is the sphere that these laws were executed.

The magistrates job was to exact justice.

The guilty were to receive punishment.

The innocent were protecting upholding God’s law.

Generally, we can divide the spheres of authority into three categories.

Category one do you have the sphere of marriage.

Category two the sphere of the church.

Category three that of the state or civil government.

Now this is compared to the types of government or spheres that would’ve been understood in ancient Israel.

In ancient Israel, you had something called a theocracy meaning that God was essentially the leader of their nation.

Who won the judge acted in a cord with the law of God he executed God‘s rules.

And this is a very good thing.

But Jesus is doing here is expanding upon the law of Moses to apply it to men’s hearts.

This is something the civil law in Israel could never have done.

The problem that Jesus is addressing here is that the job that was formerly for the magistrate is being applied to the hearts of individuals.

The Old Covenant was passing away with the laws and rules found in it.

Retaliation is Rejected in Principle.

Why does Jesus reject retaliation?

Matthew 5:38–39 (ESV)

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’

But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil.

“Christ is not directing his teaching to the magistrates and telling them how to apply Moses. Nor is he telling his disciples to return this matter to its proper sphere—the court.

Christ is making what formerly was a magisterial matter now into a matter of personal application. He is telling his followers how they, as individuals, are to act under his new gracious law.” —J. Reisinger

The “eye-for-eye” law applied to Israel under God’s rule and reign.

But Jesus now applies an even more extreme principle to his people under His rule and reign.

He is not calling His followers to exact justice on others in the way the civil law was required to in the OT.

He is calling all believers to show mercy from the heart in person matters.

One of the distinctions between OT and the NT is how things are administered.

For those who are outside of Christ, “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” is well and good to restrain evil and enforce justice.

We want laws that seek for fairness and equity in a society.

But for the Christian, there is a HIGHER law.

There is a law that outpaces the law. It’s the law of love.

The law of love is not like the OT law.

The OT law was there to punish evildoers and enforce justice.

We should desire laws like that in a just nation.

But the Christian must GO far beyond this law.

“This is the new lawgiver laying down the new rules for people living in his kingdom. Some of these rules not only were impossible under the law, they would have been unlawful under the Old Covenant.” —J. Reisinger

The Gospel and Retaliation

At the heart of Jesus’ plea to “Not resist the one who is evil” is the gospel.

We deserve far worse than we could ever imagine.

But in Jesus Christ, we receive

Matthew 5:39 (ESV)

But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil.

Retaliation for personal reasons.

Mennonites have often been strong advocates for what’s called “Pacifism.”

This is the belief that violence is unjustifiable in every circumstance.

Some forms of Amish would even mention that even if their families were being harmed, they would never step in to intervene.

Does this seem like what Jesus is teaching here?

On the surface we can see why people would begin to think this.

The problem with this view is various.

Romans 12:17–21 ESV

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Retaliation for pride or reputation.

Retaliation for pride says things like,

“You made me look like a fool when you did that, just wait and see how I’ll make you look next time.”

“I looked silly when they made fun of me, so wait to see if I’ll ever help them in the future.”

But retaliation in this manner is rejected by Jesus here and the Apostle Peter as well.

1 Peter 2:21–23 ESV

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

Retaliation for “my rights.”

Living in America we have more “rights” and privileges than any people that have ever lived in the history of the world.

We have more freedom than any other people ever.

And this is a good thing we should rejoice in.

The problem becomes though when we begin to view these “rights” as something we should call upon all the time.

“I’ll get even with you because I deserve better than this.”

We reason,

“I don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

“I deserve better than this.”

Anytime you have ever retaliated when someone has wronged you there’s an implicit assumption that you don’t deserve the mistreatment you’re receiving.

Proverbs 20:22 ESV

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.

Forbearing in all things.

What does Jesus demand of kingdom citizens?

The word forbearance means to bear with someone in their strengths and their weaker weaknesses. This is particularly seen in a person‘s weaknesses.

Forbearing like an “anvil” with the violent.

Matthew 5:39 ESV

But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

“We are to be as the anvil when bad men are the hammers” — Charles Spurgeon

There are two main ways this verse has been interpreted.

The first is that of an assault of a physical slap.

This could be because we see examples of it in the NT, in the example of Christ, and it makes sense in the context.

The second way this verse has been understood which I think is entirely possible.

To say that a person is slapped on the “right cheek” would infer that a person would need to be left handed.

Being left handed was relatively uncommon, as it is now.

So to be slapped on the right cheek would mean that a person slapped you with the back of their hand.

This would be a sign of disrespect or a “gross insult” (D.A. Carson).

Application — A Grieved Society is an Easily Controlled Society

It is no shock to hear that we live in a grieved society.

Everyone is offended at everything.

We can’t control what the world is offended by, nor do we care.

If this kind of easy to offend posture begins to pervade the church, then we should look out.

The problem for the Christian is when we’re offended or “hurt.”

A grieved person is an easily controlled person.

An easily offended person is like having a person with a steering wheel on their back.

They can be controlled in whatever direction another person wants.

Proverbs 19:11 ESV

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

The Christian knows that to remain grieved and angry is not the way of Christ.

The Christian knows that offense and “grievances” destroy fellowship.

The Christian is eager to restore fellowship.

Stephen in the first century serves as a great example…

Acts 7:54 ESV

Now when they heard these things they were enraged, and they ground their teeth at him.

Stephen could have been all offended.

“How dare you harm me? I deserve better than this!”

How does Stephen respond to these things though?

Acts 7:59–60 ESV

And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

If you are so grieved by others “mistreatment” of you, then it will be impossible to respond like Stephen.

If all we think about is the way others are treating us poorly, the it will be impossible to be “full of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 7:55)

Forbearing in the Home

Retaliation should be squashed in our homes.

Tic-for-tact mentality must be repudiated.

We must refuse to retaliate when we are wronged.

Children,

Parents,

Philippians 4:5 ESV

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;

We give the other person the left cheek not to allow them to repeat their sin, but for them to have an opportunity to respond differently.

Domestic Abuse Situations

Some have taken this verse to urge women caught in domestic abuse situations to remain.

There was a dust-up recently that encouraged women to remain in domestic abuse situations because of Jesus’ words here.

It is NOT loving for a wife to remain in a home where she is being harmed.

We live in a society thankfully that stands behind Biblical principles, so we should help women who are being mistreated and never contend that they need to “turn the other cheek.”

That would be to read the Bible through the lens of this verse.

It is actively unloving for a wife to remain in a home where her husband harms her.

It is UNLOVING even for the husband who needs an opportunity to change his behavior.

Forbearing as a TRUE act of tolerance.

Matthew 5:40 ESV

And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.

The situation in verse 40 seems to be something like a person taking another to court in order to settle a disagreement.

The word “tolerance” has been so overused and misunderstood in our generation.

Let me give you two brief, NON-BIBLICAL definitions.

“the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.”

“the capacity to endure continued subjection to something, without adverse reaction.”

Christian are the MOST tolerant people on the face of the earth.

We are the most tolerant people.

We are the only people who you should be able to take to court and get more than you were after.

Acts 7:57 ESV

But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together at him.

Forbearing by going the extra mile.

Matthew 5:41 ESV

And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.

This situation is exactly what happened with Simeon of Cyrene when Jesus was going to the cross.

Matthew 27:32 ESV

As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross.

Roman soldiers would often force people to work.

This was referred to as being legally commandeered by soldiers.

This was entirely within the first century’s law of the land.

But even then Jesus says you should receive it with joy.

If he demands you to go one mile, go two with him.

“the first mile renders to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s; the second mile, by meeting oppression with kindness, renders to God the things that are God’s.” —T. W. Manson

Jesus prepares us that we need to be willing to be exploited for the sake of the gospel.

When others take advantage of us, we do not become exasperated or irritated.

We go the extra mile on purpose.

Going the Relational Extra Mile

We live in a “cancel culture” kind of day.

When people are being canceled all around us, we must be a people who go the extra mile with others.

Forbearing by giving to the needy.

Matthew 5:42 ESV

Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

It’s NOT a lending like the rest of the world.

The world exacts the repayment to the penny.

But the Christian gives because he knows that God has given to him all things.

Everything we have is a gift.

So to give without expecting is nothing special for the Christian.

It is simply what the Christian knows is his duty.

Luke 6:34–35 ESV

And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

Proverbs 22:7 ESV

The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.

A beggar then is one who places themselves as a slave to those who have.

But the Christian is continuing to release them from the bondage of slavery without trying to exact what is owed.

The Christian then becomes like the year of Jubilee that release the debts and payments of beggars.

How far is too far in giving to the “beggars”?

I hear this question and I understand the heart of it.

We see beggars and we realize that we want to help because we see in God’s Word the heart posture of always giving toward those in need.

Yet we see how reality works and people beg because they refuse to work.

How do we square this text with 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12?

2 Thessalonians 3:10–12 (ESV)

If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.

We must acknowledge that we live in a different society than the 1st century.

Social programs like welfare

John 12:8 ESV

For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.”

We need to have a spirit that is eager to give to even beggars.

But we simultaneously recognize that there are more significant problems than simply money.

Money only reveals a heart problem.

In God’s kingdom, retaliation for personal, prideful, or perceived “rights” are forsaken, making Christians the most forbearing people on earth.