Marriage: Life-long Sanctified Monogomous Covenant Honor Among All Part 2 (Genesis 2:23-25; Eph 5:23-31)

God Created Marriage

God created marriage

Marriage is an until death do you part sacred one flesh union monogamous covenant relationship between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:22-25; Matt 19:5-6; Mark 10:9; Mal 2:14)

The comic strip conveys a lot about society's perception of marriage. One character says, "You know, it's strange - now that I'm actually engaged, I'm starting to feel nervous about getting married!" The other character responds, "I understand where you're coming from. It's completely natural to be nervous! Marriage is a significant commitment. Seven or eight years can feel like a long time!"

Marriage is a Sacred One-flesh union

Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

God has ordained that families will multiply by separation. A young man will join together with a young woman. They will leave their families to create a new family by becoming one flesh. What does the phrase “one flesh” mean?

The term “one flesh” points back to Genesis 2:23, where Moses writes that Adam said,

Genesis 2:23 ESV

23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Eve was literally made from Adam's flesh and bone, so she was essentially one with Adam. Through physical intimacy, they would be united as one. Although they were alike in being image bearers and in Eve being taken from Adam, they were also different and complemented each other. This shows that Adam and Eve were created for community and meaningful relationships. The specific relationship of marriage is exemplified through the consummation of sexual intimacy, as the two become "one flesh." As Phillip Bethancourt notes, "By God’s good design, two distinct people are joined together in a one-flesh union through the marriage bed" (Bethancourt, Phillip. 2024. Exalting Jesus in Genesis).

When a man and a woman physically consummate their marriage, something extraordinary happens. It creates a physical, spiritual, emotional, and even psychological connection. In God's eyes, the marriage bed becomes a sacred union, and God sees this physical union between man and woman as good. In verse 25,

Genesis 2:25 ESV

25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

The beauty of the union of one flesh is that God designed it to mirror the sacred unity and community enjoyed by the Trinity.

Just as the husband and wife are equal in value but distinct in their roles, so are the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit equally God and yet distinct in their roles. Just as the husband loves and honors his wife and the wife lovingly submits to her husband, so the Father seeks to honor and love the Son, the Son seeks to submit to honor the Father, and the Holy Spirit seeks to obey the Father and honor the Son. Just as the Trinity expresses a sacred, meaningful relationship that enjoys unity and community, so marriage is meant to do the same.‌

Sin distorts the sacredness of marriage. In Genesis chapter three, sin enters the world, and shame ruins the marriage by defiling the bed, disrupting intimacy, and shaming nakedness which kills transparency.

In the book of Hebrews, the writer emphasizes the importance of honoring marriage and keeping the marriage bed sacred and undefiled. This is to maintain the sanctity of marriage as a reflection of the love and unity within the Triune God.

Similarly, Paul advises the Corinthians not to indulge their sexual desires outside of marriage (1 Corinthians 6:16-17), stressing the importance of keeping the marriage bed sexually pure and sacred.

Some may question why polygamy is allowed in the Bible if marriage is meant to be a sacred union between one man and one woman. It can be argued that polygamy, like divorce, is tolerated due to the hardness of human hearts. However, it is not part of God's original design. Instances of polygamous marriages in the Bible often show jealousy, strife, and evil, such as in the story of Jacob's family. Leah and Rachel fought over Jacob’s affection. Their jealousy spilled over onto the children to the point where one set of brothers wanted to kill their brother in a jealous rage. Ultimately, the ideal is a sacred, monogamous, lifelong marriage.

Marriage is a monogamous until death do you part covenant relationship between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:23-25).

Why do I say, “monogamous until death do you part covenant relationship”? How do I defend the Bible's particular description of marriage? The reason this is a good question is because our culture views lifelong monogamy as antiquated, unnecessary, and even the cause of the high divorce rate.

Last year, an online influencer, Felgonah Oyuga, wrote an article entitled “Divorce Crisis Caused by Monogamy: We Struggle with Polygamy Because We Made Marriage a Religious Issue.” She contends that marriage, like religion, is a social construct and that the nature of human beings is community-oriented. She says,

“We may argue that infidelity in marriage is the number one cause of divorce. This does not make sense because we are not monogamous. You cannot put human beings in a cage and then be surprised that they tried or broke out. We do not belong in cages.” Felgonah Oyuga

Marriage, according to Oyuga, is a cage. She continues, “Polygamy served a vital social function. The widows, single mothers, impotent men, and barren women all found reprieve in this social institution. The only form of marriage that can answer multiple needs simultaneously is polygamy…we struggle with polygamy because we made marriage a religious issue.” What is the Bible’s case for life long monogamy?

Genesis 2:23–25 ESV

23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

There are several clues that God intends marriage to a life time monogamous covenant relationship.

Marriage is made for a man and a woman.

In our text, you will notice that both the male and female are in the singular. There is no mentioned of plurality or polygamy of men or women when God created marriage. He made them two genders. He made them male and female. He made the one for the other in order to complement each other.

Marriage is leaving one loyalty to cleave to another.

In verse 24, the man shall leave his primary familial loyalty; his father and mother. The wife was to do the same (Psalm 45:10). This was no small departure. In tribal communities, blood was thicker than water. One did not just leave his family willy nilly the way westerners do today for the sake of “love.” The Bible says “he will leave” his family to cleave, or to cling to, or to hold fast to his wife. She will become his first priority, and his children and wife will be his primary loyalty.

Marriage cleaving is covenant keeping

To leave and hold fast to your wife means to stick to her. It carries the sense of how God urged Israel to stick to the Lord in covenantal relationship. For example, Moses admonishes Israel,

Deuteronomy 10:20 ESV

20 You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear.

Deuteronomy 11:22 ESV

22 For if you will be careful to do all this commandment that I command you to do, loving the Lord your God, walking in all his ways, and holding fast to him,

Deuteronomy 13:4 ESV

4 You shall walk after the Lord your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast to him.

In our text, to leave and cleave is to covenant with your wife, and the wife is to covenant with her husband.

Marriage covenant keeping is until death do you part

Jesus upheld life long monogamous covenant marriage when he refuted the Pharisees who were advocating divorce for petty reasons. Jesus said,

Matthew 19:4–6 CSB

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

In the passage, Jesus affirms that when a man and a woman come together in marriage, they leave behind their primary family loyalties to form a sacred union ordained by God. This union binds them together physically and spiritually and is expressed through sexual intimacy. Jesus emphasizes the sanctity of this union by stating, “What therefore God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9). According to Jesus’ teaching, the only thing that should separate a married couple is death. This concept is also referenced by Paul, who alludes to death as the only circumstance that breaks the marriage vow in 1 Cor 7:39

1 Corinthians 7:39 ESV

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

John Piper comments,

“Since God is the one who decisively makes every marriage, only God has the right to break a marriage. And he does it by death.” John Piper

Paul explains in Romans 7 why death breaks the marriage covenant. Romans 7:2-3

Romans 7:2–3 ESV

2 For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. 3 Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

Paul explains that if a woman marries another man while her first husband is still alive, she is considered an adulteress. The act of infidelity occurs when she consummates her second marriage. However, if her husband dies, she is no longer bound by the monogamous covenant of marriage until death.

Death is the only way to dissolve the physical and spiritual unity formed in the one flesh union. This is because, according to Jesus, marriage is a commitment only meant for earthly life, and there is no marriage in eternity (Matt 22:30). When a spouse dies, the one-flesh union also comes to an end.

Marriage is the expression of the single-minded heart-united loyal love Christ shares with His church ( Eph 5:25-31

In the context of Ephesians 5:25-33, Paul is speaking into the marriage relationship of a husband and a wife to the Ephesian church. He says,

Ephesians 5:25–31 CSB

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

The main command in this section is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves his Bride, the church. He repeats the command for husbands to love their wife three times in nine verses, with verse 25 being the pinnacle. The way Christ loves his church becomes the standard by which husbands should love their wives. How did Christ love his bride?

Christ’s love sacrifices for her.

Where the first Adam selfishly offered up his wife, Eve, to the judgment of God (Gen 2:17), Christ the second Adam, laid his life down to receive God’s judgment on her behalf. He left his home in heaven where he was worshiped and loved perfectly. He emptied himself out by putting on human flesh, living a perfect life, and becoming a slave for her sake. He died on the cross unjustly like a criminal so she could have her sins atoned. He suffered the full wrath of God, separated from His Father, even buried dead for three days in a grave, to be the propitiation of her sin.

Christ’s love shepherds with humble service

Where the first Adam passively sat by as his wife was deceived by the serpent, the second Adam, Christ, leads his wife with humility and service in order to protect her. As the head of his family, her serves the church with his Spirit and word. He works out the wrinkles and spots. He puts her interest above his own dong nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but counts her more significant than himself (Phil 2:1-4).

Christ’s love sanctifies her to present her beautiful

Christ cleanses his wife with his word. He makes her holy and blameless, with absolute moral purity, fit for heaven. She will be adored the way a new bride is adored on her wedding day.

Christ’s love joins himself to his bride as a one flesh union.

Paul anchors verses 25-30 on verse 31:

Ephesians 5:31 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

In Ephesians, Paul makes a reference to Genesis 2:25 to draw a parallel between the union of Adam and Eve and the union of Christ and the church. Just as Adam and Eve became one flesh, Christ is united with his bride, the church, creating a similar one-flesh union. A husband's love for his wife is compared to Christ's love for the church, and the church is seen as being made righteous through Christ's atonement and sanctification. This union is already a reality, although it is also viewed as a future fulfillment. The love and union between Christ and the church serve as a model for the ideal marriage relationship, with Christ's sacrificial love and cleansing of the church as a reflection of his deep affection for his beloved bride.

In verses 23-30, Paul encourages husbands and wives to model their relationship after the relationship between Jesus and his bride. This means that the union between a man and a woman is meant to reflect the deeper relationship between Jesus and the church.

John Piper, in his book, This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence,” says it this way,

“Marriage is a magnificent thing because it is modeled on something magnificent and points to something magnificent.… The greatness of marriage is not in itself. The greatness of marriage is that it displays something unspeakably great, namely, Christ and the church.” John Piper This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence p.138.

Marriage is to great to surrender it to cohabitation, contracts laced with no-fault divorce, or same-sex unions. In cohabitation, a couple imitates the unity of marriage without the Christ like commitment and responsibility, essentially turning it into a convenient relationship; like friends with benefits. Contractual relationships that recognize no-fault divorce, making commitment flimsy resulting in even more disorder. In same-sex unions, the relationship between two men or two women ruptures the creational pattern of marriage between one man and one woman (Bethancourt, Phillip. Exalting Jesus in Genesis).

Society’s perception that seven or eight years of marriage is a significant commitment is weak and confused. Marriage is so much more.

Marriage is an until death do you part sacred one flesh union monogamous covenant relationship between a man and a woman

Marriage is a sacred one flesh union between a man and a woman, which is bound by God and meant to last until death separates them. It is a covenant of love between the couple and God. This love reflects the covenant-keeping love between Christ and His church. Marriage is a representation of the way Christ loves His church and how He expects the church to love Him. Husbands are supposed to love their wives with a Christ-like, sacrificial, and life-giving kind of love that seeks to present their wives blameless before the Lord. Wives are to honor and affirm their husband’s headship with a Christ-centered submission that sees to use her gifts in accordance with her husband’s leadership. In this relationship, the world will see the magnificence of the glory of God and the fidelity of Christ to His church. Marriage is the expression of the single-minded heart united loyal love Jesus shares with his church. To offer marriage as anything less to the world distorts the love God has for the world.