Week 3: Family Issues – Child Rearing (2)

Family Issues – Child Rearing

Let's delve deeper into the family, specifically focusing on children. Previously, we discussed the role of the husband. Now, let's address the children from a biblical perspective. Many may find this challenging due to a lack of proper instruction, but the Bible is our comprehensive guide. Contrary to the popular saying that children don't come with an instruction manual, the Bible provides clear guidance on raising children. The enemy knows that undermining the family is a step towards weakening the church, which is his ultimate goal.

By adopting modern, secular approaches to child-rearing—those that emphasize children’s rights without boundaries—we risk raising individuals with significant issues: drug addiction, alcoholism, homosexuality, sociopathic behaviors, hysteria, schizophrenia, obsession, accident-proneness, obesity, and hyperactivity. Such issues were not as prevalent in past generations. The decline began with the removal of prayer from schools, the abandonment of corporal punishment, and the adoption of advice from secular figures like Dr. Spock, whose methods diverged from biblical principles.

Psalm 50:18 reminds us of our complicity when we stand by idly:

Psalm 50:18 (New Living Translation): "When you see thieves, you approve of them, and you spend your time with adulterers."

Dr. Spock's methods failed tragically, as evidenced by the suicide of his grandson. We must return to Scripture and create homes where both parents are present, involved, and led by God. Discipline, as outlined in the Bible, is crucial.

The Effects of a Disobedient Child

According to Proverbs, a disobedient child will be:

A grief to his mother (Proverbs 10:1; 17:25)

A rebel to his father (Proverbs 15:5)

A sorrow to his father (Proverbs 17:21, 25)

A disaster to his father (Proverbs 19:13)

A disgrace to his parents (Proverbs 19:26)

A user of his parents (Proverbs 28:24)

Proverbs 29:15: "The rod [what you do] and reproof [what you say] give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame."

The Causes of the Present Chaos in Rearing Children

As Seen by the Houston Police Department:

The Houston police department once distributed a leaflet titled "How to Ruin Your Children," outlining several principles:

Principle #1: "Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants."

Principle #2: "When he picks up bad words, laugh at him."

Principle #3: "Never give him any spiritual training. Let him decide for himself when he’s twenty-one."

Principle #4: "Avoid using the word 'wrong.' It may develop a serious guilt complex."

Principle #5: "Pick up everything he leaves lying around, so he learns to shift responsibility."

As Seen by a Christian Psychiatrist:

Dr. Paul D. Meier, in his book "Christian Child-Rearing and Personality Development," sarcastically outlines steps to raising troubled children:

a) How to Develop a Drug Addict or Alcoholic:

Spoil him; give him everything he wants.

Nag but never spank him.

Foster his dependence on you so that drugs or alcohol can replace you later.

Protect him from discipline by others.

Make decisions for him to prevent mistakes.

Criticize his father openly.

Always bail him out of trouble.

Solve his problems for him, fostering dependence.

Dominate your husband and use prescription drugs yourself.

b) How to Develop a Homosexual:

Follow the steps for raising an alcoholic.

Overprotect him; avoid physical activities.

Ensure he spends minimal time with male role models.

c) How to Develop a Sociopathic Criminal:

Never spank your child.Allow self-expression without discipline.

Let the child manipulate you.

Avoid enforcing rules.

Give in to tantrums.

Believe his lies and criticize others openly.

Provide a large allowance without responsibilities.

d) How to Develop a Hysterical Daughter:

Spoil her; always let her have her way.

Praise her looks over her character.

Run after her when she runs away.

Encourage dramatic aspirations.

Demonstrate instability through multiple divorces.

e) How to Develop an Adult Schizophrenic:

Show no affection and be a weak parent.

f) How to Develop an Obsessive Child:

Be critical, domineering, and legalistic.

g) How to Develop an Accident-Prone Child:

Fight with your spouse and blame the child.

Ignore the child or overreact to minor injuries.

h) How to Develop an Obese Child:

Feed him excessively and leave him alone often.

i) How to Develop a Hyperkinetic Child:

Avoid spanking; rely on nagging.

Ensure the father is always absent.

The Cause of the Present Chaos in Rearing Children

The decline in child-rearing standards stems from families not adhering to divine principles. The Minnesota Crime Commission stated that without discipline, every child would grow up to be a criminal. This illustrates human depravity—if children are left to their own devices without consequences, society will suffer.

Conclusion

Parents, if we don't discipline our children, we will face the same pain as the rest of the world. Teaching obedience through consistent consequences is essential. God intended for children to be a joy to their parents, which is only achievable when raised according to His principles. Otherwise, many children will bring heartache instead of joy.