Father’s Day
Notes
Transcript
Ah, Father’s Day! The day of the year that Fathers are celebrated. Right smack between planting and haying. In fact, some might still be planting and some might have started haying, depending on where one lives and what the rains have been doing.
Father’s day is hard because in today’s culture few people actually know their dads. And of those that are known, few dads are worth celebrating.
I have to speak carefully, because the Bible tells us to honor our father and our mother, no matter their sinful state. But, honoring is different than celebrating. We can honor them at the same time as we admit their sinfulness.
So, Father’s Day can be hard. Some pastors take this situation to an extreme and use the holiday to stick it to the man. I’ve done that in the past. And, it might happen today. We’ll see.
But, I want to do more than that. I want to lift our eyes up to an ideal. And that ideal is found in Proverbs 31.
Many people look at Proverbs 31 and they talk about the Proverbs 31 women. In fact, some misguided preachers preach on that passage on Mother’s Day, and that’s a travesty.
Look at the beginning of the chapter.
The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.
Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
This is words of wisdom that a mom is telling her son. This chapter is teaching men, not women.
Once you get to verse 10, if you were reading in the Hebrew, you would notice two things.
Each verse starts with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet, in order. Which is cool, and very difficult to do. That’s like us writing a poem and each line would go, a, b, c, d, e, f, g. And writing so that it would make sense: near on impossible. But, this guy did it
Second, this poem is chiastic. Which means the first line reflects in the last line. and the second line reflects in the second to last line, and so on, with the central line standing out:
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
This poem is about the man: man, you “cannot attain wisdom with the good wife because she creates the environment in which you can flourish.”
Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs Type: Wisdom Poem, Acrostic, Chiasmus (31:10–31)
In Proverbs wisdom is not merely or even primarily intellectual; it is first of all relational. The young person finds wisdom through three specific relationships. A man must fear Yahweh, heed parents, and find the good wife. Moreover, one will gain the fear of Yahweh and the good wife in the same way: both are gifts from God (Eph 2:8–9; Prov 19:14).
So, let’s explore this chapter, as it relates to the man. We’ve already acknowledged that the main purpose of this chapter is to find wisdom through a godly wife. But, I believe that this chapter has more to say about a godly man.
Pray
We are going to look at seven character traits of a Man of Faith.
First, let’s read the passage:
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
I’ve got to go quick, because I promised to get you out earlier than normal.
Men of Faith are:
1. Teachable
1. Teachable
Lemuel is sitting with his mom and she is explaining to him what a godly king and man is.
The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.
Throughout the book of Proverbs, we are commanded to listen to wisdom, through our parents, through our godly communities, and not just listen, but put it into practice.
As Solomon writes at the very beginning of the book:
Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
They are a garland to grace your head
and a chain to adorn your neck.
Now, I know that generally speaking, the first thing a guy does with an instruction manual is to throw it in the trash, because we can figure it out just fine.
I was in the hardware store the other day, trying to find some rivets. And I couldn’t find any and I was running out of time. It pained me, but I had to ask for help. If I had more time, I would have wondered around for another 10 minutes.
That’s one of my flaws. I don’t like to ask for help.
However, men of faith are teachable. We open up the instruction manual for life, the Bible, and we are willing to change. When our wives bring up a flaw, or our pastor does, or a friend who is a fellow Christian, we listen, we admit where we are wrong, and we change.
A man of faith is teachable.
2. Humble
2. Humble
A man of faith is humble. It might seem like this is related to the last point, but it is different.
Our text begins with
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
Now, a note. This is not saying that this woman cannot be found. It is saying that it is rare, just like a man of noble character is rare.
But, Lemuel’s mom says that the husband of this rare woman has full confidence in her. He can rely on her.
This isn’t the lazy man sitting in his arm chair with the remote in his hand, asking his wife to cook food because he doesn’t want to.
Nor is it the lazy man who will not cook food because he doesn’t want to learn.
This is the man who has the humility to say: I realize that I have shortcomings that I cannot change right now, but I am going to work on. Or, I realize that my giftings are not in this area and I cannot do somethings effectively. And he has the humility to look at his God-given wife and say: She is able to do what I cannot do and I have confidence in her abilities and I am going to allow her to do what I cannot do.
I will allow her to be the helper that God has designed her to be. When I do:
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
A man of faith is humble.
3. Encouraging
3. Encouraging
A man of faith is encouraging.
My goodness, just reading what this gal does is tiring:
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She buys a field, plants a vineyard, makes cloth, feeds the poor, clothes her family and her beds. Sells garments. Watches over the affairs of her household. It’s incredible!
How is she able to do it? Why in the world would she do it?
Well, the text doesn’t say. But, most women I know that are able to do all this, do it because their husband is encouraging them.
He doesn’t force his wife’s hand. But, he has looked at her and said: You are gifted in these ways. You want to use your gifts. Do it! Act on the passion that God has given you.
I know a lady who is very smart. But, stopped her education in order to be a mom, raising 10 kids. Once her last kids were in elementary school, or there about, she began to take a class here and a class there. So, her last kids were finishing high school, she graduated with her bachelor of science in Electrical Engineering.
And her husband was one who kept saying: you should do it!
A man of faith is encouraging.
4. Equipping
4. Equipping
A man of faith is equipping.
So, this wife had all these passions, which we described in the last point. But, to do all these things she needed materials. She needed flax and wool, dyes and fabrics. She needed finances to start her trades, to buy her fields.
Yes,
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
But, she was not completely in charge of everything in the household. At this time, the husband was. But, the husband allowed her to use those materials and those finances. She was following the call of God, and her husband said: Take what you need.
When she approached him to give to the poor, he said: absolutely.
At least, I figure he did. Maybe he said “no” at first. The text doesn’t tell us.
What it does tell us is that:
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She didn’t say that it was her way or the highway. But, she did speak with strength and dignity, showing wisdom and instruction in the Lord. And because the man of faith was humble and teachable, he listened.
A man of faith is equipping.
5. Teaching
5. Teaching
A man of faith is teaching.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
A man of faith mentors his children on how they are to treat their mom. But, more than that, a man of faith is actively teaching his kids how to be people of faith themselves. He shows them that their mom is godly and deserves to be praised for her Godliness. He explains to them what blessed is and how someone can live under the favor of God.
Paul talks about this concept a little differently, but it is related
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
The husband has instructed his children on godliness and on how to respond to godliness, and they are doing it.
I remember hearing about a father who would not allow his children to speak badly about their mother. He would acknowledge that their mother was sinful, but that God had gifted her in so many ways, and that as children they were supposed to praise their mother for the good that she did and the godliness that she exemplified. And then, he would model it for them.
A man of faith is teaching.
6. Praising
6. Praising
A man of faith is praising.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Last week we talked about how a spouse gets to be a cheerleader. They get to boost up and talk up their spouse. Which is pretty awesome. We get to be that moment of light in a dark world. That safe place of positivity in a world that is continually tearing us down.
But, this praising has a point, a focus. Yes, we should be praising our spouse about everything good that we see them doing, for every good attribute that they exhibit.
But, here, in this passage, he is praising her for the noble things that she is doing. A basic understanding of teaching theory is this: If you want a child to do something, you can discipline the bad action, or you could praise the good action.
This ties in with the role of Government in Romans 13.
He praises her for the noble things that she is doing, where she is showing strength and godliness. And as he does this, a basic understanding of human nature is that she will keep doing the noble things because he has noticed it.
A word to the wise, nagging does not produce life change. But, a well-place compliment, a celebration of an action or a result, will produce that life change. We are to call out the godliness in our spouse by pointing out when it is happening.
A man of faith is praising.
7. God-honoring
7. God-honoring
A man of faith is God-honoring. This man in Proverbs 31 has married this godly woman. Why? Well, I suppose there is a base desire to have a wife that is good at a lot of stuff. But, I believe that it is more than that.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
A godly man who is desiring wisdom will seek to unify himself with a godly woman who is seeking wisdom.
So, while this godly woman is a gift from God and not earned by this man, I believe that he has sought her out because of his desire to honor God.
If a man doesn’t want to honor God, he will not seek a wife that honors God. But, if he does, he will.
Micah 6:8 will be his prayer.
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
And as he seeks God, he will unify himself with this godly wife, so that he can continue to seek God. And through his relationship, he will show himself teachable, humble, encouraging, equiping, teaching, and praising, for the honor and glory of God.