Unwise Relationships

Live Life Well   •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented
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Announcements
Father’s Day
VBS was great! (Best one yet)
Communion and Potluck Next week
Church cleanup Wednesday
SERMON
Introduction
We are in a series through the book of Proverbs called “Live Life well”.
We are mining this book for divine wisdom so that we can live our lives well
And God has given us this book to make us a wise people who love a blessed life
The sermon title today is: “Unwise Relationships”
The first topic Solomon discusses in his book of wisdom is to stay away from the wrong crowd
The Bible has much to say about the people we hang around with
And quite honestly, this is probably one of the most frequently neglected principles in all the Bible
Solomon who write the book of Proverbs was led away from the Lord by ungodly women
Kids growing up, can take a bad turn in life because of the influence of ungodly kids in their lives
Even in the church, people fall away from the Lord because they join themselves to ungodly people
Wise people choose godly friends
If we want to live life well, we must embrace this principle and do everything possible to adopt it into our lives
We are better off to have no friends at all then to hang around with those who walk contrary to the Bible
We are better off to never be married than to yoke ourselves to an unbeliever
Why is that?
1 Corinthians 15:33 NASB95
Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Who we hang around, will certainly influence our character for the better or for the worse
And who better to know this than Solomon himself
Solomon had everything he needed to live a godly life
He was the son of great King David
He ascended to the throne and became king of Israel
God blessed him and made him the wisest man whoever lived
He was rich
He was taught by his father to fear God
Yet he fell away and did evil in the sight of the Lord
What happened to him?
Unwise relationships
1 Kings 11:4 NASB95
For when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
Now this was the wisest man who ever lived and was led away from the Lord by unwise relationships
He put himself in the company of idol worshipers, and he himself became an idol worshiper
Proverbs 1:8–9 NASB95
Hear, my son, your father’s instruction And do not forsake your mother’s teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck.
In this verse we see that this book began really began as a letter from a father to a son.
Solomon was writing to his own som/young man about how to be wise so that he could live Life well.
And the first topic he discusses is to “avoid unwise relationships”
Dad’s put yourselves in Solomon’s shoes here. You have lived life. You know much about the way this life works, and have a deep understanding about the ways of God.
Just imagine you are writing a letter to your son. You have one great opportunity to influence him before he leaves home, before he begins life, and you know this letter is it
What is the first thing you would say in your letter to your son or daughter?
Solomon’s first concern was that he choose the right people to hang around
Where is the first place this young man is to learn how to a godly life?
It begins in the home
Children are first trained to live wisely in the home
Dad’s, it is our God-given responsibility to train up our children how live wisely
The mother is included in this verse
That is because the mother is certainly part of the upbringing
But much if the time we leave the rearing up to the mothers because we are too busy
“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction”
Do you hear that in Solomon’s words?
The care, concern, and love for his son
This is the kind of fathering children need
They need a dad
Not a pastor
Not a drill sergeant
Not a friend
Not a source of provision to give them what they want
We will be far better at this, when our parenting comes from a heart of love and concern
I am no different than anyone in here
And I spend far more time getting into my kids then I do speaking o them like this
When I hear some of you get onto your kids, it makes me feel good because I know I am not alone!
Sometimes I feel like all I do is correct them, and threaten them!
But we have to make sure we have these intimate times of teaching with them when they know we truly love them and care for their well-being
What kind of wisdom do we teach our children?
Primarily, to walk in love, obedience and fear of God
Over and over Solomon is teaching his son to fear the Lord, to trust the Lord, to flee from evil, to flee from ungodly relationship, to flee from wrong doing
This is what our children need to hear the most
Nothing wrong with teaching a son how to fish or hunt
Nothing wrong with teaching a child to work with their hands
Nothing wrong with teaching a child how to work on their car
But our kids need to know how to fear God first or none of those things will matter
If our children do not know the dangers of running with sinners, then we have failed as dads
If our children do not know what it means to trust the Lord then we have failed
If our children do not understand what it means to be saved and what it looks like to be saved then we have failed them
We had our VBS this past week and it was just three days
And I got to teach a little lesson on the last day
And I had those children come down front and sit in a circle
And they’re young 4,5,6,7,10 years old
But they sat there and listened so intently as if I was giving them the very secret to life
Why is that?
Because a child’s heart is still pliable
They haven’t been calloused over by life yet, they haven’t put up all those walls that adults do, they possess teachable spirits
Don’t miss your child’s most receptive years
And don’t spend it only teaching worldly things
I guarantee you, if we teach about God first and foremost, He will take care of all the rest
THE FIRST LESSON ON WISDOM: AVIOD UNWISE RELATIONSHIPS
Proverbs 1:10 NASB95
My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.
“If sinners entice you”
The word “entice” means to “lure” or “to persuade
This word is almost always used in a negative sense and has an aspect of deception
Principle: Those who live contrary to the Christianity (sinners) will CERTAINLY try to pull those who follow the Lord into their lifestyles
I’ve seen it in my own life
I’ve seen it in the church
It may be friendships
It may be a relationship with someone
Now the temptation is to read this and immediately say that would never happen to me
I am too smart for that or I am too wise for that
I would not fall for those schemes
But that is foolish thinking to think we are morally above this temptation
There is something inside of us all that at times (especially in hardships) that can draw us into sinful behavior
We see what others are doing, which can at times seem enjoyable and wonder what it would be like to do that too
We hear of stories of what others are doing, and knowing it is ungodly, have subtle feelings of envy of them
We still carry this flesh
And this flesh is still attracted to sin.
And one common way this happens is the temptation to be in the company of others who sin
How do sinners entice us?
Proverbs 1:11–14 NASB95
If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait for blood, Let us ambush the innocent without cause; Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, Even whole, as those who go down to the pit; We will find all kinds of precious wealth, We will fill our houses with spoil; Throw in your lot with us, We shall all have one purse,”
Solomon is simply giving a hypothetic situation here of what this enticement to join the ungodly would be like
And when I read this I thought, that is a little extreme? It makes an application from this pretty difficult.
How many of you have pondered hiding behind a bush to kill someone and steal their money to become rich?
Several of the commentators that I read suggested there may have been gangs in Israel at that time that were tempting the son to join them.
I honestly do not buy that. I think Solomon is simply using a very graphic story to teach a valuable life lesson to his son.
But I think if we look a little closer we will see some details in this story that are true when it comes to being tempted to run with the wrong crowd.
There is the temptation “to have some fun “let us ambush the innocent without cause”
The NLT brings this out “Just for fun, lets ambush the innocent
In other words, lets just go out and do something illegal, not with any real purpose, just do something to have some fun.
Let’s go out and do something that will make us laugh, that will lighten up the load, that will make us feel good
Especially when we are younger we get those urges
Young men and women, you will run across people in your life that use fun as a means to draw you in
And parents, we are not exempt either
Why is “fun” a means of enticement?
Because the Christian life can be difficult
And there will come long seasons of dryness, or difficulty, or monotony (doing the same thing day after day)
And at the right moment, the idea of “having some fun” can be very enticing
There is nothing wrong with having fun
I love to go out and do things that are fun, and I always have
But fun that I do now is much different than the kind of fun I had before I came to Christ
Fun that includes sin WILL ALWAYS INCLUDE CONSEQUENCES FOR OUR SIN
And the consequences are often delayed
You have fun now, but you’ll pay later
Be wise and do not let the desire for fun draw you into the wrong crowd
There is the enticement of money or greed “we will find all kinds of precious wealth”
Here is another lure that draws us into the wrong crowds: MONEY!
There is the promise for some kind of financial benefit by associating with them and doing what they do
Some of this today is on the more extreme side like selling drugs
Many good kids have gotten into a bad place because of drugs
Many good adults have gotten into a bad place because of drugs
There is also the crowd that steals
That is what is in mind here, taking something unlawfully from someone else
Taking something from someone else that does not belong to us
There is also a more subtle way of stealing that I think is most dangerous for us
falsifying information on taxes
insurance claims that are not completely true
Lying for financial gain
Gambling (a form of greed)
Unjustified lawsuits
The temptation here is to be lured to do the same, especially if “good Christian people” are doing these things
Stay away from those kinds of people
Principle: Get rich quick schemes are not the way to wealth
Proverbs 13:11 NIV
Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow.
The biblical way to be financially steady is to gather little by little
It is to work, and save more than we spend
It is to earn our wages and accumulate over time
There is the enticement of companionship “Throw in your lot with us, We shall all have one purse”
Notice this is the invitation to join a group, to have some camaraderie, to be a part of people whom we can call friends
And I see this all the time
People who are not bad people join up with crowds that lead them into ungodly lives simply because they desire companionship
We all need relationships
God gave a wife to Adam because it was not good for him to be alone
And the lie we believe is that if we do not hang around these people, or if we do date that person then we will never find a companion
That is simply not true
God is sovereign!
He has the power to do whatever He desires with His creation!
That includes arranging circumstances to bring good godly people into our lives
Do not yoke become friends with this world for the sake of companionship!
No matter what excuses we come up with!
It would be better to be by ourselves our entire lives than to join ourselves to unbelievers!
And from my experience, those who are willing to wait on Christian friends and spouses eventually meet one
Sometimes we think we are the only Christians in the world
But surely that is narrow minded. God has saved other people just like you are called them to be faithful, and when the time is right God will bring y’all together.
The unseen consequences of unwise relationships
Proverbs 1:15–19 NASB95
My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path, For their feet run to evil And they hasten to shed blood. Indeed, it is useless to spread the baited net In the sight of any bird; But they lie in wait for their own blood; They ambush their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence; It takes away the life of its possessors.
The command: “my son, do not walk in the way with them, keep your feet from their path”
These kind of people are on a certain coarse or path of life
It is the way of sin, of ungodliness, the way of a fool
They live contrary to way God calls us to live
And its end is destruction!
Notice the illustration Solomon uses
“It is useless to spread the baited net in the sight of any bird; but they lie in wait for their own blood”
In other words, if you throw out a net to catch bird while they are watching, they are not going to go near it
The birds are not that stupid!
But not these kinds of people
These people throw out a net and only catch themselves
They are their own prey (they ambush their own lives)
And how is that?
(v 19) “So are the ways of everyone who agains by violence; It takes away the life of its possessors”
God has so orchestrated this life that evil deeds receive evil consequences
This verse does not mention the sovereignty of God, BUT HE IS CERTAINLY IMPLIED.
There is no such thing as karma
Nor is there no mother-earth who takes care of creation
There is a sovereign God in complete control who exercises justice to those who live unwisely
Galatians 6:7–8 NASB95
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
And the reason that matters to us, is because we become like who we hang around
Proverbs 13:20 NASB95
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.
TRUTH: If you want to know who you will be 5 years from now, just look at the people that you hang around.
If we hang around the ungodly, we will become like them
If we hang around the righteous, we will become more like them
If we hang around fools, we will becomes fools
If we hang around the wise, we will become wise
The end result is drastically different!
Matthew 7:13–14 NASB95
“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. “For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
We are to be a people who walk on the narrow path and we will never make it if we choose unwise friendships
Would you make a commitment today to choose friends and relationships that make you more godly?
Dad’s would you make the commitment to teach your children to fear the Lord and be wise?
~PRAYER~
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