Week 7: Dealing with Familial Strife, Conflict, Jealousy, and Control

Objective: To address issues of familial strife, conflict, jealousy, and control within the family unit, providing biblical guidance and practical strategies for fostering harmony and understanding.

Overview: Review of the previous week's discussion on supporting singles and single-parent households.Focus on the challenges of strife, conflict, jealousy, and control within families and how to overcome them with biblical principles.Understanding Conflict in Families

Sources of Conflict

Scripture Reference: James 4:1 - "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?"

Discussion Points: Identifying common sources of conflict within families, such as misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and selfish desires.

Understanding that conflict often arises from internal struggles and desires.

Practical Examples:

Misunderstandings:

Siblings arguing because one misunderstood the other's intentions.

Unmet Expectations:

Parents and children clashing because of differing expectations about chores or academic performance.

Selfish Desires:

Family members vying for control over decision-making processes.

Biblical Steps to Conflict Resolution

Scripture References:Matthew 18:15-17 - "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over..."Ephesians 4:31-32 - "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Discussion Points:

The importance of addressing conflicts directly and privately first.

The role of seeking mediation and involving the church community when necessary.

Practical Examples:

Direct Resolution:

A husband and wife discussing and resolving a disagreement privately without involving others.

Mediation:

Bringing in a trusted family friend or church elder to help mediate a conflict between parents and teenagers.

Forgiveness:

A family member forgiving another for past hurts and moving forward with kindness and compassion.Addressing Jealousy and Competition

The Dangers of Jealousy

Scripture References: Proverbs 14:30 - "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."James 3:16 - "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."

Discussion Points:

Understanding the destructive nature of jealousy and envy within families.

Recognizing signs of jealousy and addressing them early.

Practical Examples:

Sibling Rivalry:

Brothers competing for their parents' attention and approval, leading to jealousy and conflict.

Comparisons:

Parents comparing one child’s achievements to another, fostering envy and resentment.

Promoting Unity and Mutual Support

Scripture References: Romans 12:10 - "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."1 Thessalonians 5:11 - "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Discussion Points:

Encouraging a spirit of unity and mutual support within the family.

Practical ways to celebrate each other’s successes and strengths.

Practical Examples:

Celebrating Success: Hosting a family dinner to celebrate a child’s academic achievements or a promotion at work.

Team Efforts: Working together on a family project or volunteering together to build unity and cooperation.

Recognizing and Managing Narcissistic and Controlling Behavior

Recognizing Narcissistic Behavior

Scripture References:

2 Timothy 3:1-2 - "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy."

Philippians 2:3-4 - "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Discussion Points:Identifying traits of narcissism and controlling behavior.Understanding the impact of such behavior on family dynamics.

Practical Examples:

Controlling Parent:

A parent who dictates every aspect of their child’s life without considering the child’s wishes or needs.Narcissistic

Behavior:

A family member who constantly seeks attention and admiration, undermining others in the process.

Managing Narcissism and Control

Scripture References:

Proverbs 16:18 - "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

Romans 12:18 - "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Discussion Points:

Strategies for managing narcissistic and controlling behavior within the family.

The importance of setting healthy boundaries and fostering mutual respect.

Practical Examples:

Setting Boundaries:

Establishing clear family rules that promote respect and discourage controlling behavior.

Mutual Respect:

Encouraging open communication and valuing each family member’s opinions and feelings.When to Love from Afar

Setting Boundaries

Scripture References:

Proverbs 22:24-25 - "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared."

Matthew 10:14 - "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet."

Discussion Points:

The importance of setting boundaries with toxic or harmful family members.

Recognizing when loving from afar is necessary for personal and family well-being.

Practical Examples:

Toxic Relationships:

Limiting contact with a family member who is verbally or emotionally abusive.

Self-Care:

Taking steps to protect your mental and emotional health by creating physical or emotional distance when necessary.

Maintaining Love and Forgiveness

Scripture References: Colossians 3:13 - "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."Romans 12:9 - "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."

Discussion Points:The balance between maintaining love and forgiveness while setting boundaries.Practical ways to show love and forgiveness even when relationships are strained.

Practical Examples:Forgiving from Afar: Forgiving a family member for past hurts while maintaining necessary boundaries.

Acts of Kindness: Sending a thoughtful card or gift to a distant family member as a gesture of goodwill.Handling Jealousy of God's Blessings

Acknowledging God's Blessings Openly

Scripture References:James 1:17 - "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."Psalm 34:1-3 - "I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. I will glory in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together."

Discussion Points:Recognizing that all blessings come from God and giving Him the glory.The importance of sharing testimonies of God's goodness to encourage others.

Practical Examples:Sharing Testimonies: Sharing stories of God’s blessings during family gatherings or church meetings to inspire and uplift others.Praising Publicly: Thanking God publicly for His blessings during prayer time or worship services.

Handling Others' Jealousy

Scripture References:Romans 12:15 - "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."Philippians 2:4 - "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Discussion Points:

Responding to others’ jealousy with grace and understanding.Encouraging others to trust in God's timing and blessings for their own lives.

Practical Examples:

Empathy and Support:

Showing empathy and support to those who may feel envious, and encouraging them in their own journey.

Humble Sharing:

Sharing blessings humbly and focusing on how they can benefit and uplift the community rather than oneself.

Role-Playing Conflict Resolution Scenarios

Activity Format: Divide participants into small groups and provide scenarios for role-playing conflict resolution within the family.

Discussion Points:

Practical steps for addressing and resolving conflicts.

The role of effective communication, empathy, and forgiveness.

Scripture Reference: Matthew 5:9 - "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."Highlight the importance of being peacemakers in the family.

Sharing Personal Experiences Encourage participants to share personal stories and experiences related to family conflicts, jealousy, and control.Discuss the challenges they face and how they overcome them with faith and support from their church community.

Scripture Reference: 1 Thessalonians 5:11 - "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Highlight the importance of mutual support and encouragement within the church community.Conclusion

Reaffirm the importance of addressing familial strife, conflict, jealousy, and control with biblical principles.

Encourage families to seek support from the church community and to actively participate in church programs designed to foster harmony and understanding.

Scripture Reference: Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Stress the reliance on Christ’s strength in navigating and overcoming family challenges. Additional Resources