The Ups and Downs of Being a Godly Father
Notes
Transcript
I have to say that preaching about being a Father has become both one of my favorite topics to preach on as well as one of the most challenging topics to preach on. It is challenging because I now recognize the difficulty that comes with being a father more than ever before. However, it is also one of my favorite areas to cover because I believe that biblical fatherhood is one of the keys to the success of the local church. We have seen this before our very eyes in the last year. When the head of the house gets serious about the things of God, the entire family tends to follow suite.
But I don’t just want to preach about this from my heart. Each and every time I stand behind a pulpit, I want to allow the word of God to dictate the direction we go in.
So, what does God’s word say about being a father? There are lots more subtle things that are said rather than outright commands. But Ephesians 6:4 contains a direct command for Fathers. Before I read it, I want to remind you just as I did on Mother’s day that this message is for every single person. If you are not a father, there is still a father in your life. It might be your own, it might be your husband, or it might be the young men in this room who will be fathers some day. For those individuals, I think it is especially important that you don’t tune out this message. You are making decisions today that will affect how you are father in the years to come.
Stand with me as we read Ephesians 6:4.
Pray
One helpful note about this passage is that it takes the form of “don’t do this but do that instead.” The don’t here is provoking children to anger. The word here for provoke is one used just four times in the New Testament. When it is used, it is always used in the negative sense. We can certainly be provoked toward good things but Paul’s use of this word here is directly related to anger.
We ought to never aim to provoke anger in someone. But you might be asking, “well what does this actually look like? What if I can’t help but make people mad?” This provocation is not the sort that will unintentionally make someone mad. Think about it like this.
When you are making a fire in the winter just with sticks and leaves, it takes a lot of work. You have to light the smaller stuff on fire and begin blowing in order for the whole pile of wood to eventually catch. You have to light multiple areas and make sure that plenty of air is getting there.
In the same way, fathers, provoking your children to anger is intentional and ought to be something that is avoided. To live in a Christian home ought to be a true joy for all in the household. As followers of Jesus, all of us, but specifically fathers, should be interested in the results of their words and actions. What is it that happens when children are provoked toward anger? Colossians 3:21 speaks to the result of this.
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
So, rather than provoking our children, or anyone else for that matter, what is it that fathers ought to do?
We’ll spend the remainder of our time this morning on two specific things to bring them up in. Before we get to those two things, it’s important to note that the goal of the father is to bring them up. This tells us that to provoke anger is to bring down.
For the head of the household, the goal ought to be to lead in a way that raises the potential of those in your home. I want to compare these two areas of “bringing them up” how an employee is trained.
The first way for a father to bring up those in his home is to provide discipline and can be compared to on the job training. I want to remind you that discipline has a specific purpose just as provocation does. In this case, it is for the betterment, though, of all those that are around.
Discipline takes place in both positive and negative ways. It happens by training in life in general where correction can be given on but also encouragement when situations are handled in the right way. This is vital because father’s should be getting their examples on how to live and bring up their children from the right place!
One final thing that should be thought of when it comes to this discipline when on the job training is that it is absolutely necessary to spend time around your children in order for this discipline to be successful. You have to be able to observe them in order to give correction and encouragement.
The second area that Paul touches on here is instruction. For a new job, this would be the classroom training that takes place. It’s where the father will point back to the core principles that need to be followed in order to give clear guidance of how to conduct oneself! As I just mentioned, presence is important here. But it also means the father of the home needs to be present in order for this training to happen.
Now, this seems pretty daunting. Where can we possibly go in order to know how to provide proper discipline and instruction for our children.
Well, the discipline and instruction here are both coming directly from God itself. When these two areas are concerned, it is vital that a father grows close to God and lean on him for everything.
Now, for all those here who are not yet fathers, pay close attention. If you are not a father, drawing near to God and knowing what discipline and instruction will be beneficial is vital.
Draw near to him. Know this discipline yourself. Seek out Godly instruction. Do this now rather than later!
For the ladies, this is a standard that we should both hold fathers to as well as pray that they rise to the occasion.
Pray for yourself!
Pray for the fathers and potential fathers in your life.
Thank the Lord for the godly fathers in your life.
Pray that God would continue to guide these men in the way that they should go.