Father’s Day 2024

INTRODUCTION

I’ve said you can’t understand the story of the world without understanding the story of Abraham.

He’s the original OG founding father of faith for the main three monotheistic religions of the world.

He was influential in ways that are hard to overstate. We’ve been learning from his life what genuine faith looks like in the mountain highs and valley lows of life.

Last week we were in Genesis 24 and we looked at the last hoorah in Abraham’s life with the choosing of a spouse for his son Isaac.

In Genesis 25 we see Abraham remarry and die. The focus shifts from Abraham to his other sons, specifically the son of promise, Isaac and his descendents.

The Father’s Pivotal Role

In the providence of God this chapter just so happens to land on Father’s Day.

Father’s play a pivotal role in the redemptive plan of God.

At first I thought I needed to jump out of Genesis to preach a Father’s Day sermon. But in the providence of God, Genesis 25 has a Word we Father’s need to hear.

I’m always amazed at how the Lord uses our commitment to expositional preaching to say the right things, at the right time even when we least expect it.

Let’s pick it up in Genesis 25:1-6

Genesis 25:1–6 CSB

1 Abraham had taken another wife, whose name was Keturah, 2 and she bore him Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah. 3 Jokshan fathered Sheba and Dedan. Dedan’s sons were the Asshurim, Letushim, and Leummim. 4 And Midian’s sons were Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abida, and Eldaah. All these were sons of Keturah. 5 Abraham gave everything he owned to Isaac. 6 But Abraham gave gifts to the sons of his concubines, and while he was still alive he sent them eastward, away from his son Isaac, to the land of the East.

As you can see from these six verses the word that gets repeated over and over again is the word for son.

Genesis 25 is a genealogy and like many other genealogies in the book of Genesis it’s helping explain the origins of the different tribes and nations that were surrounding Israel during the days of Moses.

CHART:

As you can see from this genealogy chart the list gets pretty long and complex.

Chronology VS Intent

The fact that Keturah is mentioned AFTER Sarah’s death and Isaacs marriage doesn’t mean things happened in that order.

The Bible often presents an event in terms of it’s narrative impact over against it’s chronological order.

Remember, Moses isn’t just explaining the history of Jewish origins. He’s explaining God’s purpose in how that history was brought about.

And that purpose was to advance the seed of promise - stated all way back in Genesis 3:15 - until the day of it’s fulfillment in the Lord Jesus Christ.

As we said last week God chose the vehicle of marriage and family to advance that redemptive purpose.

Which means that Fathers don’t just play a pivotal role in the life of their children. Their actions impact the children’s children and their children after that.

Your actions as a dad will have a ripple effect into the third and fourth generations.

It’s important to evaluate your actions through the lens of that generational perspective.

PAST AND PROLOGUE

We can see this principle in the life of Abraham with his decision to entrust everything he owned to his son, Isaac.

He doesn’t just give the inheritance to Isaac. He also gifts gifts to his other children even as he sends them away to the East.

Why do these other children receive only gifts and not a share in the inheritance?

On the surface it looks prejudicial but it’s actually a generous act in light of their cultural context.

Did you notice the phrase “the sons of his concubines?”

Many believe this to be a reference not only to the sons of Keturah but also to Ishmael the son of Hagar - or maybe even other sons of other women who aren’t mentioned by name.

In ANE cultures the rights of a concubine were secondary to the rights of the matriarch (first wife.)

Similarly, the rights of their offspring were also secondary to the offspring between the matriarch and the patriarch.

The whole set up was less than ideal. It’s not God’s design nor commended or condoned. (They were often a response to infertility, politics, or sinful passions.)

Abraham was required to provide for his concubines and the needs of their children. But they were not legally entitled to any of the inheritance.

In fact, they were PART of the inheritance in that they were property of the patriarch. They were obligated to serve and help maintain the homestead.

Unfortunate Failure

The fact that Abraham had ANY concubines was an indictment on his character. It was a failure.

What’s the point? As a father, you’re going to inevitably fail your children.

How Abraham responds to that failure illustrates a principle of fatherhood.

He sends them AWAY and he blesses them with GIFTS.

This might have been Abraham’s way of repenting before the Lord. He couldn’t undo history but he’s making the best out difficult circumstances.

This might’ve been an effort to establish good will between Isaac (the sole heir) and his half brothers/brothers in law.

Maybe Abraham was trying to ensure that the land of Canaan (the promised land) would be inherited by Isaac and not a tug-of-war between him and another son.

And you’re going to suffer some of the consequences of those failures. Like Abraham they may be painful and difficult.

But what was true of Abraham is also true of Father’s today.

Your past sins are not a life sentence for your children or grandchildren.

Don’t let your past sin cast a permanent shadow over the future of your children.

I know many fathers who’ve made tremendous mistakes that directly impact their kids. (some who have experiences very similar to Abraham)

But you don’t have to make them carry the full weight of your failure. They’ll carry some of it but they don’t have to carry all of it.

You can do everything in your power so that your past sins don’t cast a shadow on their potential future. Choose the right thing TODAY even if it’s costly or difficult to do.

Eventual Death

After giving Isaac the inheritance and blessing his other children, Abraham faces his death.

Verses 7-11 give a commentary.

Genesis 25:7–11 CSB

7 This is the length of Abraham’s life: 175 years. 8 He took his last breath and died at a good old age, old and contented, and he was gathered to his people. 9 His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah near Mamre, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hethite. 10 This was the field that Abraham bought from the Hethites. Abraham was buried there with his wife Sarah. 11 After Abraham’s death, God blessed his son Isaac, who lived near Beer-lahai-roi.

Abraham lives 175 years which is an extremely old age when compared with our lifespan today.

But whether your 55 or 175 dead is still dead.

What’s the point? As a Father, eventually, you’re going to leave your children.

The KJV says he “gave up the ghost.” I love that. (CSB = took his last breath.)

But notice HOW Abraham died.

He didn’t die with anxieties or regrets or great fear and trepidation.

He was “old and contented and he was gathered to his people.”

I don’t know about you but that’s how I’d like to die. Old and contented.

Eternal Perspective

The juxtaposition of “gathered to his people” with “buried in a cave” highlights an important truth about death.

For God’s people, death is a transition not a termination. The body is buried in dirt but the soul is lifted to heaven.

Since you’re going to one day leave your children you should live with the end in mind.

And when I say “live with the end” in mind I don’t just mean to be aware of how your actions are affecting the next generation. (although that’s part of it)

I mostly mean live as if your ultimate destination isn’t a plot of dirt or mausoleum but a forever home with all of God’s children in heaven.

We know that Abraham believed in an afterlife because the Author of Hebrews said that he lived in a way that looked forward to the city that is to come who’s builder and architect is the Lord. (Heb 11:10, 13)

It was Abraham’s conviction in that city that was to come that enabled Abraham to make the difficult decisions and model faithfulness to his sons even when it wasn’t easy to do so.

I think that’s partly why Isaac and Ishmael are BOTH present to bury their father. He modeled a life of putting what’s important over what’s immediate. I’m sure they had hostilities under the hood. But they honored their dad by embodying his faith.

Urgent > Important

Your assignment as a dad is a temporary assignment. It’s a stewardship and you’re accountable to God for how you manage it.

If you want to be like Abraham and face death without any regrets, live with the end in mind.

What does this look like practically for dads today?

Don’t let the urgent choke out what’s important when it comes to raising your children.

So many dads get distracted by the immediate needs and pressing issues. The tyranny of the urgent.

Don’t let what’s urgent crowd out what’s most important. Learn to live with an eternal perspective and steward your assignment with humility and wisdom.

It was this conviction that enabled Abraham to secure to burial site in Mamre. It was this conviction that enabled God to bless Isaac in Beer-lahai-roi. It was this conviction that garnered the respect of his sons.

A TALE OF TWO SONS

After commenting on Abraham’s death the chapter shifts to a focus on his two sons.

In keeping with Moses’s style, the vast majority of time is spent on Isaac because he is carrying the seed of promise.

But Ishmael is mentioned first and Moses highlight’s God’s faithfulness to keep his promise.

Genesis 25:12–18 CSB

12 These are the family records of Abraham’s son Ishmael, whom Hagar the Egyptian, Sarah’s slave, bore to Abraham. 13 These are the names of Ishmael’s sons; their names according to the family records are Nebaioth, Ishmael’s firstborn, then Kedar, Adbeel, Mibsam, 14 Mishma, Dumah, Massa, 15 Hadad, Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah. 16 These are Ishmael’s sons, and these are their names by their settlements and encampments: twelve leaders of their clans. 17 This is the length of Ishmael’s life: 137 years. He took his last breath and died, and was gathered to his people. 18 And they settled from Havilah to Shur, which is opposite Egypt as you go toward Asshur. He stayed near all his relatives.

The phrase “these are the family records of” is what commentators call a “Toledot.”

It is THE literary marker in the book of Genesis. (Gen 2:4; 5:1; 6:9; 10:1; 11:10; 11:27; 25:12; 25:19; 36:1, 9; 37:2)

Unique Influence

One of themes of Genesis and of Fatherhood in general is that Father’s train up other fathers who train up other fathers after them.

As a father you’re going to uniquely shape your children.

This principle is seen at two levels in the passage we just read.

First we will examine it through the lens of Ishmael and descendents.

In Genesis 17:20 God promised Abraham that he would bless Ismael and make him the father of 12 tribal leaders.

That promise is fulfilled through these 12 sons in Genesis 25:16.

Interestingly, the dynamic of 12 sons also shows up with the sons of Nahor (Gen 22:20–24) Edom (Gen 36:10–14) and Israel (Gen 35:23–26).

Each of these Fathers shape the future fathers that they raise.

With Ishmael you can see that dynamic in the lives of his children at the end of verse 18. “He stayed near all his relatives.” (Gen 25:18) (Other translations use the word “they” even though the Hebrew pronoun is singular)

This is an intentional throwback to God’s prophecy about Ishmael in Genesis 16:12

Genesis 16:12 CSB

12 This man will be like a wild donkey. His hand will be against everyone, and everyone’s hand will be against him; he will settle near all his relatives.”

The CSB translates this phrase as “he will live near all of his relatives.” The actual Hebrew word used is “in/against the face of.”

Other translations render it “against/in defiance of his brothers” or “in hostility against” his brothers. I think this is more in line with what Moses has in mind.

However you take the phrase, the point is that the hostility of Ishmael towards his brother was passed down to his children and their children after them.

Generational Curse

The sins of the Father become the sins of the son.

Some people talk about this in terms of a generational curse.

I don’t love that language because it suggests that children carry the guilt of their father’s sin which the Scripture never teaches (in fact it contradicts! Ezekiel 18:20)

But the Scripture DOES teach generational patterns of sin that follow from the Father to son to the third and fourth generation.

As a Father you have no idea the shaping influence you will have for righteousness or for wickedness. You are passing down traits to the next generation. Those traits will be in line with one of two seeds. (serpent/woman)

Don’t let your influence become a curse on the next generation.

With Cain he passed on his anger and rage to the children born in his line.

The vengeance of Lamech was 11 times that his great, great, great, great grand-father Cain. (fourth generation)

The hostility of Ishmael was passed down in a similar way.

Generational Blessing

I’m sure there were also positive attributes that Ishmael passed down to his children.

Just as Abraham also passed on some less desirable qualities to Isaac that we’ll see later.

The point is to live in such a way that your kids receive a blessing from your example and not a burden or a curse.

In Genesis 22 we saw how Isaac was shaped by the faith of his Father Abraham so much so that he refused to resist when being offered as a sacrifice.

We see another blessing in Genesis 25. It deals with how Isaac responds to the difficulty of infertility.

Genesis 25:19–21 CSB

19 These are the family records of Isaac son of Abraham. Abraham fathered Isaac. 20 Isaac was forty years old when he took as his wife Rebekah daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan-aram and sister of Laban the Aramean. 21 Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife because she was childless. The Lord was receptive to his prayer, and his wife Rebekah conceived.

Verse 26 says that Isaac was 60 years old when his two sons are born which means there was a 20 year period of waiting and struggling with the pain of infertility.

20 years go by wherein Isaac had the same struggle of faith that his Father Abraham did.

But Isaac benefited from Abraham’s repentance and recognition that shortcutting God’s plan was a bad idea.

And Isaac benefited from Abraham’s faith to keep trusting the Lord in faith, even when you can’t understand or enjoy his timing.

Whether good or bad, your children will eventually emulate what they see modeled in the home.

You have no idea the power that you have on the lives of your children as a Father. It’s a superpower for good or or harm.

You WILL have a shaping influence on the next generation. The important question is what kind of influence will it be.

Isaac receives the blessing of a godly shaping influence. As a result, he’s able to pass that down to his children as well.

A Divine Trust

Those two children are described at the end of Genesis 25. We will read their story and wrap up our time.

Genesis 25:22–34 CSB

22 But the children inside her struggled with each other, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. 23 And the Lord said to her: Two nations are in your womb; two peoples will come from you and be separated. One people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger. 24 When her time came to give birth, there were indeed twins in her womb. 25 The first one came out red-looking, covered with hair like a fur coat, and they named him Esau. 26 After this, his brother came out grasping Esau’s heel with his hand. So he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when they were born. 27 When the boys grew up, Esau became an expert hunter, an outdoorsman, but Jacob was a quiet man who stayed at home. 28 Isaac loved Esau because he had a taste for wild game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. 29 Once when Jacob was cooking a stew, Esau came in from the field exhausted. 30 He said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stuff, because I’m exhausted.” That is why he was also named Edom. 31 Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.” 32 “Look,” said Esau, “I’m about to die, so what good is a birthright to me?” 33 Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore to Jacob and sold his birthright to him. 34 Then Jacob gave bread and lentil stew to Esau; he ate, drank, got up, and went away. So Esau despised his birthright.

This is a famous story that we will examine in it’s own right. For now, I just want to examine it through the lens of becoming a godly Father.

We said at the outset that your actions as a father have ripple effects into the third and fourth generation.

As a father you’re going to inevitably fail your children - so don’t let your past sins cast a permanent shadow over their future.

As a father you’re going to eventually leave your children - so don’t let the urgent choke out what’s important. (live with the end in mine)

As a father you’re going to uniquely shape your children - so don’t let your influence be a curse on the next generation.

What we see at the end of this chapter is that fathers will ultimately release their children to the plan and purposes of God.

Early on in the pregnancy Rebecca knows that something is going on with the twins in her womb.

She inquires of the Lord and is given a prophecy of what will ultimately transpire between her two kids.

None of this was to say that the free will choices of Isaac or Rebecca had no bearing on this outcome. I’m sure that they did.

The point is, there’s an interplay between the free will decisions of parents and ultimate plan of God.

Before these two children were even born the Lord is able to to say to their parents “the older is going to serve the younger.”

Paul addresses this concept in Romans 9-11 wherein he appeals to God’s choosing of Jacob and rejection of Esau.

I’m not going to dive into all of the details about election and free will and divine sovereignty.

All I want to establish is the principle that as a Father you will eventually have to release your child to the ultimate plan of God.

Training Not Controlling

I’m sure Isaac had a particular future in mind for his first born Esau. But that future is supplanted by Esau’s shortsightedness and folly.

Likewise I’m sure Issac struggled with Jacob and his scheming ways at home. But ultimately God chooses Jacob (instead of Esau) to advance his redemptive purpose.

How difficult that must’ve been.

And it’ll be difficult for you, as a Father, when things don’t go according to YOUR plan when it comes to the future of your children.

Here’s the principle: You can train them for the journey but you can’t control the destination.

Do everything in your power to train your child in the way they should go.

But do so knowing that they have their own will and their own responsibilities when they stand before the Lord.

You are not responsible for every foolish decision your son or daughter may make.

You are not responsible for every good decision they make. At some point you have to recognize you’re just one of many means that the Lord is using to fulfill his purpose in the life of your child.

You can either join God and cooperate with that sovereign will or you can resist him and try and disrupt that sovereign purpose.

Wise Father demonstrate humility and wisdom in doing everything they can to steward those early years well.

Then, when they’ve done everything they know to do - they willing release their child to the sovereign plan of God.

Acknowledging that at every point prior to that moment, they were first and foremost children of GOD and will remain as such for the rest of their days.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I want to apply some of these truths to the Father’s who are here today.

It may be that one or more of these four facts really resonates with your heart and recent experience.

Is there a sense in which your sinful past is casting an unnecessary shadow on the life of your children?

Are there things you could do NOW that would lessen that damage or remove the shade they feel forced to carry? It may be one of the greatest gifts that you give to them.

If nothing else, at least communicate with your children that you don’t hold them responsible in any way for the mistakes you made even if other’s hold that against them.

Perhaps this morning you need to be reminded that your days are numbered. That your assignment is a stewardship. It’s temporary and you’re accountable.

You’ve allowed the immediate and the urgent to choke out what’s most important. As a result you’ve neglected the relationship you could’ve built with your children.

You’ve neglected the opportunity to model for them what a godliness looks like in the way we think, speak, live and react. If you were to die today what would your children say at your funeral? Would you be ready?

Maybe you’d say my problem isn’t that I’m not shaping my children. But I’m shaping their minds in an unhealthy way.

Maybe you inherited your vices from your dad but you don’t have to pass those along to your kids. They can see somebody who breaks the generational pattern of sin because you chose to be strong and brave instead of weak and a victim.

Maybe you just need to be reminded of the enormous power you have as a Father.

Maybe this morning you just need to be minded that your kids ultimately belong to the Lord. The thing about being a steward is that you rightly recognize every possession is a trust.

If you’re children are a trust then you should release them to the Lord. There’s great freedom and joy when we take our hands off their destiny and just focus on training them for the journey.

From Father to Father

The best gift you can give your children is teaching them how to hear the voice of God and courageously walk in the plan that he made.

If, in these ways you feel like a failure as a Father. It’s okay. You’re not alone.

The beautiful truth is God KNEW you’d be a failure and has made provision for you in Jesus.

Our heavenly father will NEVER FAIL us. He works all things together for good.

Our heavenly Father will ENVER LEAVE us. We are eternally adopted sons/daughters.

When we fix our eyes our heavenly Father he will NEVER SHAPE us in ways that harm but always shape us more and more into the perfect image of his one and only son, the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you’ll release your own life into the sovereign hand of God then he can take all of your weakness and make provision for you through his son Jesus.

And in Jesus we’ll find all the grace we need to experience redemption and healing from the sins of our past.

We’ll find hope and eternal fellowship when it’s time to say goodbye.

We’ll find find wisdom and strength to model righteousness as we shape our children.

And we’ll find enduring hope that sustains us even when life doesn’t go according to our plan.

In other words, men like Abraham and Isaac don’t just model the pros and the cons of Fatherhood. They also point us to the grace we can find through our heavenly Father as we surrender and commit to the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you’ve never done that, this morning, you’ll have an opportunity to respond.