Daddy Issues Week 3 | Living for Likes

ANNOUNCEMENTS

One-A-Days | June 30 & July 7

Family Nights | June 19 & June 26

Fathers Day Gifts as you leave

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Closing out a series today called DADDY ISSUES

Review

Mark 1:10 NKJV

10 And immediately, coming up from the water, He saw the heavens parting and the Spirit descending upon Him like a dove.

Matthew 17:5 NKJV

5 While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them; and suddenly a voice came out of the cloud, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear Him!”

You are my son | ACCEPTANCE

Whom I love | AFFECTION

I am well pleased | AFFIRMATION

It’s worth noticing that affection and affirmation are separate realities…I can affirm without love and I can love without affirming.

OUR GREATEST NEEDS ARE FULFILLED PARTIALLY IN THOSE WE SEE, BUT FULLY IN THE ONE WE SERVE.

Week 1 | Remedy for Rejection

Week 2 | Longing for Love

Week 3 | Living for Likes

[PRAY]

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The Like Button

February 9, 2009 | The day that completely changed our world forever.

The Facebook like button was unveiled

WAS ORIGINALLY PRESENTED AS THE AWESOME BUTTON

The like button changed social media considerably.

It created a scenario in which mindless clicks are viewed as meaningful interactions.

People are finding meaning and lack thereof in the presence or absence of likes.

PSYCHOLOGICAL STUDIES HAVE REVEALED

A lack of likes has been found to cause worry, depression, social isolation, and even suicide in some cases.

This phenomena has elevated something that has always been present to some degree…AN APPROVAL ADDICTION.

My outfit

My car

My house

My vacation

My meal

We are unable to find happiness without the validation of someone else’s opinion.

Wanting to be liked by people is normal…Needing to be liked by people is dangerous.

Dad’s this is vitally important for us to understand.

To raise our families according to God’s Word we have to break free from the need for societal approval.

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This is real and raw

I am not preaching this from a place of perfection…or even resolution.

I am preaching truths that I need to hear and apply as much as anyone in this room.

I have lived a large portion of my life dependent upon the opinions of others…

God’s the only one worth my fear

Proverbs 29:25 NKJV

25 The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.

Snare: môqēš = A trap used to entangle birds

We all have a sense of wanting people to accept and affirm us.

We want our bosses to keep us on

I want you to keep coming to the church.

Dad’s we want our spouses to love us and our kids to like us.

But at the end of the day…we must make sure that we only have a fear of the Lord.

I can value your opinion but I must not reverence it!

When I begin to reverence the opinions of people…I fall into a trap that keeps me from reaching the destination fo my purpose.

The first step for all of us today is coming to the realization that we have a problem in this area.

Deliverance and Denial cannot coexist.

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Addicted to the praise of men

I have lived my life with a heavy need for affirmation.

I have preached probably 1000 sermons over the last fifteen years…but I still need to hear I did good from my wife.

If I don’t hear it…I say that was bad huh?

The problem with living an opinion centric life is that it is the makings of a bipolar existence.

If you live by the praises of men you will die by their criticisms.

I believe in my case and quite possibly in your own…

that the reason God hasn’t allowed us to go farther or higher is simply…

because he needs to break this dependence out of us before he can trust us with more.

Galatians 1:10 NKJV

10 For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.

Who do I seek to please?

We have to ask ourselves whose voice matters the most to us?

God or our following?

God or our boss?

God or our spouse?

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Jesus was unaffected by mans opinion

Jesus models to us a life that was unaffected by the opinion of man.

Consider all of the people who questioned his reality

Consider all the people who told him he was a heretic

Jesus didn’t have the memory of his immaculate conception

WHAT HE HAD WAS THE WORDS HIS MOTHER HAD SPOKEN OVER HIM…AND THE WORD HIS FATHER SPOKE OVER HIM AT HIS BAPTISM.

He was able to steadily pursue his purpose in spite of his opposition because he had a clear understanding of what God said about Him.

I believe this one simple aspect of Jesus story is what differentiates our Him from us.

He had heard a clearly defined identity from God.

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1. When I’m unclear about what God says about me…I become consumed by what people say about me.

THIS IS WHERE I TELL MY STORY

I have known from an early age that I was called to do what I am doing right now.

I knew from thirteen that I would be in ministry.

But I have questioned that purpose a couple of times.

When I had unsuccessful seasons of ministry…the voice of God started getting drowned out by the opinions of man.

I almost let someones opinion of me cause me to stop pursuing the purpose that God had for my life.

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This is a common problem

We have all had seasons wherein we do this…we put ourselves in a position to where we only identify progress when someone else will validate it.

Ladies you ask your husband if he likes your outfit, hair, etc.

We diet for three days and suck our stomach in.

We go to the gym once and flex in every mirror and post it on our story…waiting for the replies.

If we really believe in a God who calls us…then my purpose should not need your stamp of approval.

We are trying to advertise ourselves in such a way that someone else will place value on us.

THIS IS BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT HAD OUR VALUE DEFINITIVELY DETERMINED.

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When I know my value…I don’t have to advertise it

If I don’t understand my value I need to promote myself until you will validate me.

Rolls Royce and Bentley Commercials

They don’t let people tell them their value.

Kia does…

When I don’t have a clear definition of what God says about me I have a potential to trade a Rolls for a Forte.

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How to know what God says Well how can I know what God says about me…

READ HIS WORD!

John 6:63 NKJV

63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.

One of the greatest steps we can take to get free from an opinion dependence is to read God’s Word!

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2. I must remember that I work from approval not for approval

When we have a child…we don’t have a list of things that they have to accomplish before they can be a Harris.

There is not a relay race or an aptitude test.

They are a Harris.

I actually use the name that they carry as a reason to demand a higher standard of living.

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Faith = Approval

You and I tend to do our best to work our way into a place of approval.

We deceive ourselves into thinking that we are more approved when we do well.

Scripture doesn’t use the term approved and disapproved nearly as frequently as it does righteous and unrighteous.

We see how God view righteousness in his dealings with Abraham.

Genesis 15:6 NKJV

6 And he believed in the Lord, and He accounted it to him for righteousness.

It was not the acts of Abraham…but the faith of Abraham.

When you believe on Jesus you are given the power to become the sons of God.

We operate from approval the moment we put our faith in Jesus.

John 15:15 NKJV

15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

God’s affirmation is the fuel not the finale.

It is the gas not the goal.

When I realize that I have been affirmed by God…It drives me to live up to that affirmation.

This actually leads to the third truth..

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3. When I receive affirmation…I should give affirmation.

Often we forget that we are the representatives of God to those around us.

What if your tone is the tone in which God is being represented.

Don’t ever underestimate the power that we possess in affirmation.

I’m not the greatest at this…but it’s a reality.

Coach Howton took me from a fat bench warmer to an in shape leading scorer…simply by believing in me and telling me I could do it.

Proverbs 18:21 NKJV

21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

Ephesians 4:29 NKJV

29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

When Weston had a coach who didn’t believe in Him.

It was evident in his playing…

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Affirm yourself with the truth of God’s Word

This truth is powerful for others…but it is also powerful for yourself.

One of the first people you need to audibly affirm is yourself.

When you constantly speak negativity and incapability over your life…it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

______ Fathers…we have so much power in our kids lives with the words that we speak.

I understand it’s normal to say my kids are terrible…but know theres power in your words.