How to Raise a Christ Follower

Introduction: Back in the 1980’s I read through a tract entitled, “How to raise a Crook.” It was published by Faith, Prayer, and Tract League. According to the author here is how you raise a crook:

1. Begin from infancy to give the child everything he wants. This way he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.

2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. It will encourage him to pick up “cuter” phrases that will blow the top off your head later.

3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let him decide for himself.

4. Avoid the use of the word “wrong.” It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later when he is arrested for stealing a car that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5. Pick up anything he leaves lying around – books, shoes, clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing the responsibility onto others.

6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized but let his mind feed on garbage.

7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of the children. Then they won’t be too shocked when the home is broken up.

8. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustrations.

10. Take his part against the neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourselves by saying, “I never could do anything with him.”

12. Prepare for a life of grief – you will have it.

Now, I don’t believe that anyone present in this building has a desire to raise a crook. So, I have come up with an entirely different title for this Father’s Day Sermon: How to Raise a Christ Follower. Our text today provides some guidance as to how we can raise a child who will grow up to love God and to walk with Jesus Christ.

Time is Short

Dad we are given about eighteen years to raise our children. That equates to 216 months, 6,570 days, or 936 weekends. That’s it – that is all the amount of time that most of us have in raising our children.

There is a powerful phrase used in Ephesians 5:16, it reads,

Redeeming the time,

Knowing that our time is short, how do we redeem the time? How do we buy up every opportunity to raise our children for the glory of God? I want to provide you with six steps. Here they are:

I. Practice Consistency – 2:41

41His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover.

Father’s your spiritual consistency (or lack thereof) will be forever etched into the life of your children. Here are a few important spiritual disciplines:

· Fathers, do you pray? For your wife and kids? Pray daily for them.

· Fathers, do you read your Bible? At least weekly? The Bible is a great parent manual.

· Fathers, do you faithfully attend Church? Is the Church a priority in your life? Your kids will not see Church as important if Dad doesn’t.

· Fathers, do you tithe or give to God’s work? 10% is a starting point. “Everything waits on stewardship” (Ceil Sims).

· Fathers, do you serve in your local church? Do your kids see a dad who serves others?

Here are some examples: Chuck Mitchell thank you, Jason Danner, thank you, Rick Rees thank you, Ben Kempel thank you, Chris Fourroux thank you. Jeff Floyd, thank you. Anthony Alexander thank you. Daniel Harsh thank you. Tyler Mitchell, thank you. These guys and others are setting great examples of serving the Lord before their children.

Dad’s, children need to see a spiritual consistency (habitual consistency) in the life of their father. Make it happen, Dads! Make it happen!

II. Practice Patience – 2:42-47

42 And when He was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast. 43 When they had finished the days, as they returned, the Boy Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem. And Joseph and His mother did not know it; 44but supposing Him to have been in the company, they went a day’s journey, and sought Him among their relatives and acquaintances. 45 So when they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking Him. 46 Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. 47And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and answers.

· Dad, what are your expectations for a 2-year-old?

· Dad, what are your expectations for an 8-year-old?

· Dad, what is your expectation for a 9-year-old?

Nine and with a Rifle

When Debbie’s dad was 9 years old, he was given his first hunting rifle, and he was expected to go out into the woods and hunt. This was a natural expectation for a 9-year-old boy. Sons helped to get food on the table. Everyone had responsibilities.

· Dad, what is your expectation for a 12-year-old?

You would probably have far more expectations for a 12-year-old than you would for a 2-year-old. After all, there is a ten-year difference. My grandson, Derrek just turned 12 on June 5th. He has more responsibility than his 4-year-old sister, Amberlynn. And that is the way it should be. Additional responsibility is added each year.

Well, as we come to our text, we discover that Jesus, the human boy is 12 years old. He was taken up with the family to Jerusalem for the Passover as was the custom. Apparently, all 12-year-old boys came with their parents to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover.

While Jesus and His parents were in Jerusalem they celebrated the Passover, enjoyed the festivities, visited with their extended family, and afterward, they started for home. All is well on the Eastern Front, so far, that is until they discovered that Jesus wasn’t with them. Where is Jesus?

Where’s Waldo?

How many of you remember the posters called, “Where’s Waldo?” You had to look at the poster filled with all kinds of picture drawings, and you had to find the ONE Waldo on the page (Show example). Did any of you spot Waldo? Allow me to point him out.

Father’s life is full of surprises. Sometimes our children make decisions that they don’t tell us about. They do things that take us by surprise. Jesus did this here in our text. We read,

The boy Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem.

Our text also says,

And Joseph and His mother did not know it;

When a child disappears, there is a grave concern. It sets a parent on edge rather quickly. Have you ever felt that moment of “Oh my, where is my child?” All kinds of ideas flash through your mind in a moment.

Joseph and Mary thought that perhaps Jesus was with the company (family members and acquaintances) – they weren’t worried. They even traveled a day’s journey.

Home Alone

As I was reading this my mind went to the movie, Home Alone. The MacAlister family was heading out on a family vacation to Europe, but the day they were to leave, they all overslept and when they woke up, they were in such a hurry to get to the airport that they forgot 9-year-old Kevin. He was left at home, all alone. Do you recall Mrs. MacAlister’s face when she realized on the plane, some 30,000 feet in the air that she had left Kevin behind? She placed her hands on her cheeks and cried out, KEVIN!

Well, in my sanctified imagination, I picture something similar happening with Mary. When they did not find Jesus with their family and acquaintances Mary placed her hands on her cheeks and cried out, JESUS!

One thing we can be certain about as fathers is that life is full of surprises. It’s not a good thing to leave children behind. I can only imagine what Mary might have been saying to Joseph about now. No doubt he got an earful.

Dad’s a word of warning – DON’T LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN BEHIND! You need to keep an eye on your children.

After searching for Jesus, and not finding Him (which required patience) they returned to the last place where they saw Him, Jerusalem (2:45). Our text says,

seeking Him

I must pause here and tell you that as a Pastor I love those two words: Seeking Him. Seeking Him (Jesus) is something that every parent must do. You’ll be a better parent if you seek Jesus. My Mother-in-law, LaVelle Gornick had a sign on the front door of her home that read, “Wise Men Still Seek Him.” It was a Christmas decoration, but she kept it up year-round. You see, that message was true throughout the year.

Fathers, don’t you ever stop seeking Jesus. Seek Him daily. Spend time with Him daily. Walk and talk with Him daily. Let your children see you seeking Jesus. Wise men still seek Him!

Now, are you a patient person? As a parent? As a father? (Ah ha that is quite a question for fathers, isn’t it). The Bible talks about patience in some 25 verses. In James 1:3 we read,

Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

Patience is also listed among the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22.

Do you think a missing child would be a test of your faith? I think so! Our text says,

Now, so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple,

Now, that had to have been a relief for both Mary and Joseph.

III. Practice Understanding – 2:46-50

46Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. 47And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and answers. 48So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.” 49And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.

First, I want you to drop your eyes back down to verse 50,

But they did not understand the statement which he spoke to them.

Father’s we must seek to understand our children. And yes, there may be times when we just don’t get them. We don’t understand them! We question their decisions and behaviors. However, we must try our best to understand. It was Saint Francis that prayed,

“O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek To be consoled as to console; To be understood as to understand;”

Joseph and Mary found Jesus in the temple. They found Him in a safe place. I think I’m correct when I say that most Christian parents would be grateful if they were searching for their children, and they found them at the Church. After all, there are a lot of worse places where children could end up. The Church is a very safe place.

Next, look at what Jesus was doing.

sitting in the midst of the teachers,

Jesus was talking with the teachers of the temple. This is a spiritual moment for Him. Our text continues in verse 46,

Both listening to them and asking them questions.

Fathers, children learn by listening and asking questions. Let your children be inquisitive. Explain important aspects of life to your kids. Talk to them about everything – age appropriate of course. When your children ask questions, answer them to the best of your ability. If you don’t know the answer to their question, go and find it out. Your children deserve a father who will help them navigate this world.

Jesus was a very intelligent 12-year-old (of course He was God-in-the-flesh). In verse 47 we read,

And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and answers.

I can remember years ago driving behind someone in Spokane who had a bumper sticker on their car that read, “My Child is an Honor Student at Skyview Elementary.” What were they telling me? They were saying, “I’ve got a smart child.”

Fathers give your children credit when they understand and get it. Praise them for their smarts! Children thrive on parental approval! A lot of children never receive the approval of their father (or parents) and they pay the price as adults.

Fathers help your children thrive in their education as well. When they have a hard time comprehending something spend time with them until they grasp it.

I like what it says here in verse 48,

So when they saw Him, they were amazed,

There is not a child alive who doesn’t want to amaze their parents. Every child desires the acceptance and approval of their father. And it has been said that if a child doesn’t get the acceptance and approval, they need from their father that they will seek it elsewhere. This is so true.

IV. Practice Honesty – 2:48-50

48 So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.” 49 And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.

When raising your children practice honesty. Your children need your approval (be amazed over them – don’t stop being amazed over them), but at the same time be honest with your children. Children need to know when they have caused a rife within the family (again, age-appropriate). You don’t talk to a 2-year-old the same way you would talk to a 12-year-old.

Look at what the mother of Jesus said to her son in verse 48,

“Son, why have you done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought your anxiously.”

The ESV reads,“Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.”

The NLT reads,“Your father and I have been frantic, searching for you everywhere.”

I believe that Mary was being brutally honest with her son. She told Him: Your father and I have been sick to our stomach looking for you. Do you know what you have put us through? Now, I don’t want to add to the Scripture, but I picture in my mind Mary saying, “I have gray hair because of you.”

Look at how this 12-year-old responds to his mother. We read in verse 49,

49And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?”

Jesus spoke to both His mother and His father. Now, if they had understood the words that He just spoke to them, they would have immediately moved on. Notice the three words,

“My Father’s business.”

Jesus wasn’t speaking about Joseph’s Carpenter Shop and the cabinets, tables, and chairs he made. Jesus wasn’t passing around a business card drumming up new contacts. No, Jesus was saying that He was about His Heavenly Father’s business. Get this – at the age of 12. What parent wouldn’t want their child involved in spiritual things at the age of 12?

Look at verse 50,

50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.

Do you know what this tells me? It tells me that there are times when parents just don’t get their children. There will be times when children try to explain themselves and as parents, we won’t get it.

I have heard children say to their parents, “You just don’t understand me.”

Please hear what I am about to say. There needs to be understanding and honesty between parents and children. There probably would be a lot more healthy relationships if parents sought to understand their children, and children accepted the honesty of their parents. I picture this as a two-way street. Both are needed!

V. Practice Respect – 2:51-52

51 Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

Are you aware that when you leave Jerusalem, you always go down? Jerusalem sits on a hill. We read here that Jesus went down with them and came to Nazareth. Nazareth was their place of residency. It was their home. We also read here in verse 51,

And was subject to them,

The word “subject” means, to come under authority.

Listen to what the Scripture teaches,

Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with you and you may live a long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1-2).

Not only did Jesus come under the authority of His parents, but we also read in verse 51,

but His mother kept all these things in her heart.

I don’t believe that this is teaching us that Mary kept a record as to how her son caused anxiety in her life, or that He was responsible for her gray hair. These words tell us that Mary CHERISHED her son.

Fathers and mothers, you can allow situations to tear your family apart, or you can see them all as a part of this wonderful thing called life. Mary decided to keep a scrapbook in her heart of the adventures of her son. These events were just additional photos and memories that she held on to.

It doesn’t say so in our text, but I think both Mary and Joseph were on the same song sheet when it came to raising Jesus. Joseph too probably treasured all the events they faced as they raised Jesus.

VI. Practice Contentment – 2:52

52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

No two children are alike, so don’t raise all your children the same way.

We read in Proverbs 22:6,

Train up a child in the way he should go,

And as you raise your sons and daughters practice visible contentment. God gave you the children you have – see them as a gift from God (Psalm 127). Be content with the various stages of growth that occur in the life of your children. There are four areas where a child grows:

1. Intellectual growth (i.e., wisdom).

In verse 52 we read,

And Jesus increased in wisdom

Jesus gained wisdom. He went through the stages of earthly biological growth. He got smarter!

Dad’s when your children bring home a good report card or a card that shows improvement PRAISE them. Children thrive on accolades!

2. Physical growth (body changes).

We also read,

And stature,

This means that Jesus not only grew intellectually but also that he grew physically. He got taller.

Fathers, do you have a growth chart in your home that measures the statue of your children? It may be a mark on a wall, or a board attached to the wall where you have your children stand and you mark their height. There is not a child who doesn’t get excited when they watch themselves grow.

3. Spiritual growth (towards godliness).

We read next,

In favor with God

Most children believe in God (Jesus did! But that is a no-brainer, right?). Children know intuitively that there is a Creator. Don’t you as a father do anything to destroy this innate belief. Do everything you can to help your children to see God in all things. As a father, I used to sing to my children the following words:

· Who put the moon in the sky? God did!

· Who put the Sun way up high? God did!

· Who created you and gave you to us? God did!

· Who made the oceans of the world? God did!

We have an AWANA ministry here at SLBC to help assist you as parents in instilling in your children’s hearts the Word of God. Use it.

We have just recently called Phillip Fourroux to serve as our Children’s Ministry Director because we want to do all we can to supplement what you are already doing at home. Use him! He is planning some exciting things for your children to take part in this summer. Support him, and at the same time support your children's growth in the Lord.

Fathers point your children to God.

4. Social growth (Reputation & Respect).

Finally, we read in verse 52,

In favor with God and men.

Fathers help your children to find favor in the sight of other people. Character matters. “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches,”(Proverbs 22:1). Good decisions today matter.

Every father should want their children well thought of by others. No one wants their child thought of as the bad kid, the naughty child, or the rebellious kid. You are not raising a crook.

Your children need to learn to respect and honor older adults. When I was growing up, we were taught to say, “Yes Mame, or Yes Sir.” Fathers, be quick to correct your children when they show disrespect towards an adult. Teach your children to give up their seat for an older person. Teach them to open the door for the elderly. These are common basic manners.

By the way, you just feel better when you let others go first.

Conclusion: So, there you have it: How to Raise Christ Follower in six clear and concise steps:

1. Practice Consistency – in your spiritual disciplines.

2. Practice Patience – after all, it is a fruit of the Spirit.

3. Practice Understanding – seek to know your children.

4. Practice Honesty – honest conversations.

5. Practice Respect – this is a two-way street.

6. Practice Contentment – rest in the four-fold development of your children.

Let us pray together.