Step Into the Light

Introduction

On Monday, June 10th, I was texting a good friend of mine and catching up on life and family. It was a casual conversation that would take a very sudden turn when he asked, “Did you hear about Dr. Tony Evans?”

I’m not going to assume you all know who that is, so let me tell you who Dr. Tony Evans is.

Dr. Tony Evans was the Pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, a church that has grown to over 10,000 members. He has also written several bestselling books, commentaries, and study Bibles. In addition, he hosts a radio show that airs in over 130 countries. He is an incredible speaker, Theologian, and his ministry has impacted millions.

Let me put it this way, he is your favorite preacher’s favorite preacher.

And sadly, before I could even Google what my friend was asking me about, I already knew what I would find. Dr. Tony Evans resigned from Pastoring his church due to sin.

Another Pastor, another spiritual hero, and a spiritual father to many, had failed to live up to his responsibility, not only as a Pastor, but perhaps more importantly, as a father, as a husband, as a Christian… as a man.

And this narrative is becoming all too familiar.

The church in recent memory has been rocked by scandal after scandal. Men who are falling short. Men who breaking their vows. Men who are being overcome by their shadow side.

And I’ve come to sorrowful realization that I can’t remember a time when our mentors and our leaders have failed us like they have done in the last five years.

The Sorrowful Transition

Now, I want to be fair to these men…

The only reason we mourn their failure is because they were failing in public.

But truthfully, there are far more men failing in private. There are far more men who are failing, and there isn’t a camera, or a journalist, or a reporter, who found their failure worth writing about.

But make no mistake, the shame of failure is written on the faces of me that know all around us.

The Origin Story of Failure

But here is what I know about failure. Failure has an origin story.

Failure is the consequence of an action that is reaction to the world’s lies.

We don’t find a new enemy, we fight an old enemy with old tricks that he disguises in new ways. Our adversary has used the same tactics on us that he used on people in the Bible. He attacks our thoughts and our feelings by birthing despair in the deepest places of our hearts.

Let me read to you some of the hard questions that men are facing:

How do we work with diligence when we feel like we are underpaid?

How do we stay present with our kids when the world takes the best we have and leaves us scraps for those we love?

How do we remain involved and invested in our marriages when spouses today are being pulled away from each other by a never-ending list of competing priorities?

How do we remain faithful in our singleness when faithfulness is viewed with deep suspicion?

How do we channel our ambition in a redemptive direction without leaving casualties behind us?

How do we cultivate our dreams in a state of feeling overwhelmed?

These are the questions that men are facing daily.

And as I said a minute ago, it is a man’s reaction to these questions that sets him on a course.

Typically a man will react in one of three ways:

He will overcompensate. He will double down on aggression and will try to overcome by dominating and crushing those around him. This is what has been branded as toxic masculinity, because it is void of the human emotions such as love and empathy.

The second reaction ic to shut down. Men shut down and live a life of passivity. They aren’t engaged with their families, their work, or their churches.

Or lastly, they medicate. They turn to stuff to placate them to mute the pain of disappointment in their lies. They are seeking escapism in many of its forms.

And so when men react in any of these three ways, they deaden their hearts to their purpose and their family, and they become another statistic in the enemies trophy room.

We are going to name this type of reactionary man:

For who knows what is good for a person during his lifetime, during the few years of his futile life? He will spend them like a shadow. Ephesians 6:!2 NASB