A Father’s Key Relationships

Ephesians 5:25–33

A. How many of you have seen the commercials for pork?

1. If you have, then you probably know their motto.

2. The motto for the Pork Alliance or whatever it’s called is this: “Pork, the other white meat.”

3. They are consigned to the fact that chicken is THE white meat.

4. So they’re just trying to ride on the chicken’s coattails.

B. Some would say that today is “the other parent” holiday.

1. We know that Mother’s Day celebrates THE parent of choice.

2. Hey, when you think about mothers, please try and remember us daddys.

3. We’re the other parent.

4. I read somewhere a while back that the spending for Father’s Day is about half what it is for Mother’s Day.

5. I think the number one gift on Father’s Day is a tie, or is it socks? But in all fairness, one of my favorite Father’s recognition gifts at Faith was the year that we got 3 pair of cool socks.

C. So however we think about it, I like to think of it as a pretty important day.

1. I think it’s important to remember fathers and the role they have in our lives.

2. And I’m not the only one.

3. God has some pretty important things to say to fathers and about fathers.

4. Read Ephesians 5:25–33.

2. In these verses, Paul is addressing the members of the church at Ephesus.

A. In the first half of the book, he teaches the great truths of Christianity.

1. He teaches about our fallen nature.

2. He teaches about how we were spiritually dead in our trespasses and sin.

3. He teaches about how we are made spiritually alive through grace and faith in Jesus Christ.

4. He teaches that we are God’s workmanship, created to do great things.

B. In the second half of the book, he teaches how to live out the great truths of Christianity.

1. Since we belong to Jesus by grace through faith, it should affect every area of our lives.

2. What has happened to us internally should make itself known externally.

3. Our lives should be different because of what has happened to us.

4. God’s presence in our lives should positively affect our relationships with others.

5. His presence should be a positive in our relationships within the church.

6. His presence should be a positive in our relationships with those we work with and work for.

7. And His presence should be a positive in our relationships within our family.

The poet William Cowper called the home “the only bliss of Paradise that hast surviv’d the Fall,” but too many homes are an outpost of hell instead of a parcel of paradise.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon said, “When home is ruled according to God’s Word, angels might be asked to stay with us, and they would not find themselves out of their element.”

C. Since this is Father’s Day, I am addressing this sermon primarily to you fathers.

1. But this message is to all of us who are part of a family.

2. This morning, I want us to see three key relationships for men.

3. These are the three most important relationships the Bible says a man can have.

4. What are the three key relationships for men?

A. Before we get to the key relationships, let’s look real quickly at relationships that are not key.

1. The most important relationships do not include your working buddies.

2. The most important relationships do not include your hunting or fishing buddies.

3. The most important relationships do not include your golfing or workout partners.

4. This is not to say you can’t have these friends.

5. This is not to say you can’t participate in these activities.

6. We all need friends and we’re not saying that these activities are wrong.

7. What we’re saying is that they are just not the most important relationships you have.

B. How do we determine what are our most important relationships?

1. Who do you spend the most time with?

2. When you’re making future plans, who do you include in those plans?

3. What activities and people occupy your mind the most?

4. When you find yourself by yourself, who would you most like to be with at the time?

5. An honest answer to these questions will reveal what your most important relationships are.

C. What does the Bible point to as the three key relationships for men?

1. The Bible covers our relationships with all kinds of people.

2. Our pastor, our church family, friends, strangers: all these relationships are talked about in the Bible.

3. But I think the Bible also covers a few relationships that are key to men of God.

4. Three Key Relationships for Men.

A. Key Relationship #3: Their Children.

1. Ephesians 6:4 speak to that relationship in both negative and positive terms.

2. The Negative Terms.

1. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children.”

2. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.”

3. In the Roman Empire, men had the final say on children.

4. They would present the baby to the Father and they could keep it or get rid of it.

5. Paul was telling them to change their whole attitude about their children.

6. Don’t provoke them, don’t discourage them: encourage them.

Fathers provoke their children and discourage them by saying one thing and doing another—

by always blaming and never praising,

by being inconsistent and unfair in discipline, and

by showing favoritism in the home,

by making promises and not keeping them, and

by making light of problems that, to the children, are very important.

7. Don’t always blame them: praise them.

8. Be involved. Listen to them and encourage them, Be their advocate.

9. Be someone they feel comfortable going to with the deep things of their heart.

3. The Positive Terms.

1. “Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

2. Nurture them.

3. Nurture comes from the same word as nourish.

4. Nourish them physically with food, shelter, and clothing.

5. But also nourish them emotionally and spiritually.

6. Fathers need to be there to lead their children in walking with God.

7. Discipline them.

8. Many years ago, the then Duke of Windsor said that “everything in an American home is controlled by switches–except their children.”

9. Care enough to set boundaries. Love enough to enforce them.

The Bible records the sad results of parents neglecting their children, either by being bad examples to them or failing to discipline them properly.

David pampered Absalom and set him a bad example, and the results were tragic. Eli failed to discipline his sons and they brought disgrace to his name and defeat to the nation of Israel. In his latter years, even Isaac pampered Esau, while his wife showed favoritism to Jacob; and the result was a divided home. Jacob was showing favoritism to Joseph when God providentially rescued Joseph and made a man out of him in Egypt.

10. Teach them about the Lord.

11. Be a Christ-following role-model for them.

12. They may not see many Christian men outside the home but make sure they see one in the home.

4. God expects fathers to be involved in the lives of their children.

1. There are some things that only a father can do for a family.

2. Do you have a good relationship with your children?

3. A key relationship for men is their relationship with their children.

B. Key Relationship #2: Their Wives.

1. Verse 25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her.”

1. How did Christ love the church?

Adam had to give a part of himself in order to get a bride.

2. Jesus gave his life, He sacrificed His life, to purchase His bride the church, back.

3. God calls on us, men, to love our wives sacrificially.

Jacob loved Rachel so much that he sacrificially worked fourteen years to win her.

Paul had much more to say to the Christian husbands than to the wives. He set for them a very high standard: Love your wives “even as Christ also loved the church.” Paul was lifting married love to the highest level possible.

4. We are to be willing to give up things to build up our wives.

5. God holds us personally responsible for the well-being of our wives.

2. Verse 28 says, “Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

1. In verse 31, Paul describes what happens when we marry.

2. The two become one flesh.

3. Our wives are permanently attached to us. They become a part of us.

4. So we are to love them and treat them just as if they are a part of us.

3. Verse 31 says “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife.”

1. Growing up our most important relationships are with our parents.

2. But when we get married, we are to leave father and mother.

3. They are now to take a back seat to the relationship you have with your wife.

4. Fathers and mothers, you would do well to release them when they are married.

5. The greatest earthly relationship you have is with your wife. All others are secondary.

4. God expects fathers to be in a deep, loving, meaningful relationship with their wives.

If both husband and wife are submitted to the Lord, and to each other, they will be so satisfied that they will not be tempted to look anywhere else for fulfillment.

And then there is…

C. Key Relationship #1.

1. There is a key relationship that you should have that is even more important than one with your children.

2. There is a key relationship that you should have that is even more important than one with your wife.

3. Without this most important relationship, your relationship with them will never be full and complete.

4. The number one key relationship for men is a relationship with Jesus Christ.

1. We’re to love our wives like Jesus Christ loves the church.

2. We are to bring up our children in the training and instruction of the Lord.

3. We can’t love our wives like Jesus loves the church if we don’t know Jesus.

4. We can’t bring up our children in the things of the Lord if we don’t know them ourselves.

5. Do you have the #1 key relationship you need now, and for all eternity?

6. Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?