A FATHER’S INFLUENCE

You guys can thank James and Nikki for getting me these books of dad jokes and pastor jokes. And while some of these are funny (maybe) the influence a father has is not – its serious – as we will see today the influence or lack of has serious consequences.

Let Us Pray!

Exodus 20:5-6 – You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

“For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquities of the fathers upon the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.”

INTRODUCTION: In this text it is obvious that responsibility for the children’s culture rests heavily upon fathers. But fathers often try to “pass the buck” to mothers. The injunction of this text, however, concerns “the iniquities of the fathers.” This reminds us of the words of Solomon in Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” It is much easier to “train up” a young child than to “train down” an older child!

2023 Stats say that 85% of youth in prison come from fatherless homes as well as 71% of dropouts, 90% of homeless runaways, and 60% of youth suicides.

FAILURES OF MODERN FATHERS:

1. If children ask questions, ignore them as foolish.

Proverbs 21:13 – Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.

Romans 12:10 – Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

2. Never find praise for a child’s endeavors.

Proverbs 16:24 – Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Ephesians 4:29 – Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Hebrews 3:13a – But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,”

3. Demand that your child out-do all other children.

Proverbs 12:25 – Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

Proverbs 18:21 – Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

4. Give a child everything—except some of your time.

1 Peter 4:8-9– Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Proverbs 11:25 – Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.

5. When children get into trouble call them “stupid.”

Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

James 3:9-10 – With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

1 Thessalonians 5:14 – And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

Titus 3:2 – to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

6. Go all-out for the child’s popularity, but ignore his spiritual life.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

2 Timothy 3:14-16 – But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

Romans 1:12 – that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.

If you have not done these – it is never to late – you are never too old to be told by your father – you doing a good job, I’m proud of you – etc.

SUCCESSFUL FATHERS RECOGNIZE:

Homes with fathers or father figure (male mentors) – 55% more likely to enroll in college, 78% volunteer more, 130% more likely to hold leadership positions, 46% less likely to use drugs and 81% more likely to be involved in sports and/or extracurricular activities.

1. Children are in need of instruction,

Deuteronomy 6:5–9 – You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

2. Fathers should reflect God’s compassion,

Matthew 5:44-45 –But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

Psalm 103:13 – As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

3. Discipline: “rod … reproof give wisdom,”

Proverbs 29:15, 17 – The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

Proverbs 13:24 – Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

4. “Do Not Provoke” a child by needless severity,

Ephesians 6:4a – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,

5. Instruct them in God’s Way - “Bring Them Up”

Ephesians 6:4b – “Fathers, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

6. Make your life an example of your own teaching.

Matthew 5:16 – In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

1 Timothy 4:12b –but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

Titus 2:6-8 –Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

7. A father’s influence is a sacred trust—use it well!

1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 – For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.

8. God Hold Them Responsible

Fathers should not expect the church or minister to succeed in patching up parental failures. God holds parents responsible,

1 Timothy 3:4 – He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?

v12 – Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.

A GODLY FATHER’S RESOLUTION: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” Joshua 24:15 – “Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

CHILDREN: “Keep thy father’s commandment” Proverbs 6:20-23 – My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,

And this Father’s Day – say Thank You for everything he did that you don’t know about (late nights, extra jobs, etc.

Thank you dad for setting the example for me to be the husband, father, brother, pastor that I am today –