Listen and Love your Father

a. Don’t forget your father’s teaching (3:1-10)

b. Don’t refuse your father’s discipline (3:11-12)

Proverbs 3:1-12

1. INTRODUCTION

a. I think all of us can agree that parents are important for the development and growth of all children. We all know how important our mothers are, but our fathers are just as important as mothers. That is the way that God created the family. It is sad that in our society, father’s don’t get the credit that they deserve. So we have to be reminded of how our fathers help us. Most of our fathers will be there to teach us, but also, the thing we dislike the most, discipline.

b. According to the 2020 U.S. Census 18.4 million children are living without a biological father. This means that out of the 73 million children in the U.S. 23% are without a present father. This number has doubled since 1968 and continues to increase. Literature associated with father absence indicates that growing up in a father absent household can be associated with negative wellbeing and life adversity among children. Father absence can have negative effects on a child’s life such as depression, drug and alcohol abuse, anxiety, psychological issues, a tendency for violence, and sexual and criminal activities.

i. In a study of 75 juvenile delinquents, 66% experienced fatherlessness, 20% had never lived with their father, and 25% had an alcoholic father.

ii. It has been reported that fatherless children are anywhere from 3 to 20 times more likely to be incarcerated than children raised in dual-parent households.

iii. 71% of teachers and 90% of law enforcement officials state that the lack of parental supervision at home is a major factor that contributes to violence in schools.

c. What this data shows us is, how important fathers are and yet, our society neglects to emphasize and educate why we need fathers and why our fathers need to recognize their importance.

d. Interestingly enough, throughout history, teachers were predominantly men until about the 19thcentury. After the 19th century with the development of the steam engine and the start of the industrial revolution, men started to move away from teaching and into business. This shift created a lot of open jobs for others and eventually women entered into the workforce. Another interesting point is that one historian Gael Graham, she stated “new views of children as sweet little innocent creatures – not imps of Satan, as in Puritan culture – meshed well with the idea that nurturing women would be best suited to teach children, as well as the fact that women could be paid less,” she said.

e. This was huge in the shift from men being the teachers to women. It’s also the reason why today, much of our education today within our schools and within our homes are predominantly by women. But the Bible calls fathers, men, as we see from our text today, that fathers are to be the educators and teachers within not only in the church, but in our homes. This is the reason why we should love them.

f. Not only this, discipline is the other arena where fathers are to educate their children. We equate discipline as something negative so when our father disciplines us, it causes us to dislike him, sometimes even hate him. But what the Bible teaches us is, we should love our father’s for their teaching and discipline. Any parent who has had to discipline their children know how difficult it is. It’s one of the things I thought would be easy to do, but it’s extremely difficult. I hate hitting my children because I love them so much. But I understand that it is my job to discipline them and to teach them what is right and wrong.

g. Through this Proverb, we see how Solomon reminds us how we are to honor our fathers. We will not be going over the whole Proverb, as we will focus on 3:1-12, but specifically 7-12. This proverb reminds us two things, we should not forget our father’s teaching and we should not refuse his discipline. These are the means in which he loves us. Let’s love him for his care for us.

h. We have to remember that Proverb 1:7 is the heart of the book. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom and instruction. Right there, we see that knowledge is wisdom and instruction. This idea continues in 2:2-6. The father’s instruction is to give attention to wisdom and understanding and when you do, you will discern, you will find the fear of the Lord (2:5). How? The Lord gives wisdom, the faithful God will keep His promise and provide you with wisdom because all wisdom and understanding are in Him.

2. BODY

a. Don’t forget your father’s teaching (3:1-10)

i. King Solomon is attributed as the author of Proverbs and here in Proverbs 3, Solomon provides us with timeless truth. As we see from Solomon’s writing, he starts off by stating “My son.” We can see from this phrase that this is an intimate letter where Solomon is telling his son(s) how they are to live.

ii. Solomon reminds his sons to not forget his teaching and let their heart keep his commandment. This is Solomon reminding his sons to listen carefully to what he was telling them. Verse 2 shows us the consequences of listening to his instructions. He reminds them that days and years of life as well as peace will be added to them if they are to follow his commands.

iii. So what are his commands? He starts off in verse 3 by reminding them of internal character of the heart. Solomon tells them to not let kindness and truth leave him. Wear them on their neck and stamp them on your heart. This is Solomon telling them, not to forget to these things. He is emphasizing that these characteristics influence every choice and decision. Solomon’s reminder is whatever you do, be kind and speak truth.

iv. Verse 4 gives us the purpose of this. He says that it will bring you favor and build your reputation with others not only before God, but also with men. This is just good advice on how we should live. Afterall, fathers are usually known to be teachers and wise. Love your father for his wisdom, and even if you disagree, honor him.

v. Now Solomon moves from basic etiquette to spiritual etiquette. Solomon explains how his son is to persist and endure in the faith. He starts by telling his son to trust in the Lord with all your heart. Trust in the one who is faithful. Solomon is reminding his son that his confidence in this life is not in his ethics, in his behavior of being kind and speaking in truth, but wholly in the Lord, the God who keeps His covenants. He reminds his son to trust in the Lord with all your heart. Whatever you have, whatever you are worried in, trust in Him with all your heart. Cling to Him and not to your own understanding. Don’t live according to your own thoughts, but rather, live by what God has written and promised you.

vi. Solomon makes a distinction here. The wise will trust in the Lord while the foolish will lean on their own understanding. Solomon is emphasizing and reminding him the most important lesson, as this is the first spiritual etiquette he leaves him with. Whatever you do, trust in the Lord with all your heart. Don’t trust in Him partially, but with all your heart. Be fully committed to Him and trust in Him wholly.

vii. What does this mean to trust in Him completely? Verse 6 tells us in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. The thrust of Solomon’s instruction is to acknowledge, to confess but it should be understood as know. Solomon’s instruction to his son is that he must know God first. You must know Him personally, not generally. Know Him and trust in Him, know His person. When you do, He will make your paths straight. What’s interesting is that to know the Lord, one must abstain from evil because there is no evil in Him. But Solomon’s reminder here is, if you know Him, then that relationship will cause you to walk straight too. As you grow in your walk with Him, He will cause you to become more like Him.

viii. Verse 9 tells us what inner piety looks like in outward worship. Solomon reminds his son that if you give to the Lord, He will bless you by filling your barns with plenty and your vats overflowing with new wine. This was difficult as a child to understand, as my dad taught me this. I never understood this, until I became a Christian myself and understand how the Lord provides when you give to Him. Again, this goes back to verse 5, trust in Him. Trust in Him with all your heart, every area of your life and He will provide for you.

b. Don’t refuse your father’s discipline (3:11-12)

i. We arrive to the last 2 final verses which help us understand the importance of our father’s discipline. Before I begin, I want to admit that nobody takes discipline well. It’s not an easy thing to do. But what is important is, we must change this understanding that discipline is bad. It’s difficult but it’s not bad for us. Sometimes, it’s the most helpful thing for us. Discipline helps us when we listen, to see our fault and when we see our fault, we can fix our problems.

ii. This is Solomon’s reminder here in verse 11, where he tells his son, don’t reject the discipline of the Lord. Notice that Solomon thrusts that discipline comes from the Lord.

iii. At the heart of Solomon’s statement is that all suffering is ultimately for our good. When we suffer, it isn’t that God is angry with us. Rather it is Him reassuring us of His love. Suffering feels like anger. It feels like loss. It feels like God has abandoned us. The heroes of faith in Hebrews 11 suffered. They trusted God with all their hearts, and some were tortured, killed, mistreated. Was God mad at them? No; he commended them. That is why it says, “God is not ashamed to be called their God” (Hebrews 11:16). He was proud of them. As written in Proverbs 3:12, He delighted in them. When you are suffering, here is what you must remember: Your sufferings are not evidence against you, nor are they evidence against God. It is the opposite. Your sufferings are proof that God your Father cherishes you. William Cowper wrote, “Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.”

iv. If you are in Christ and you are suffering, God does not hate you. If he did, he would not bother with you. The truth you need to know is this: You are a person of destiny, your greatness has already been won for you by Christ at his cross, and now God is getting you ready with some finishing touches, each one a masterstroke.

v. If we were God and we had a chance to create the world, in our limited understanding, we would probably create a world where there is no sin. There is no suffering and people think that would be the perfect world. But in that world, there is no understanding of the love of God. There is no picture of the cross. There is no picture of forgiveness and justification.

vi. When we think about this, suffering helps us grasp how great God’s love is for us. It is for this suffering, that Christ died for us. It is through this suffering that God displays His purpose for us. This is why God gives us discipline so that we could delight in Him and trust in Him.

3. CONCLUSION