Fathers, How to Bless Your Family

Being a Father Isn’t Easy

Dads, thanks for being in church today to celebrate Father’s Day! You’ve made a great decision. You’ve made a great investment. It has been 35 years since I held my daughter in my arms and 33 years since that fella (Jesse) could be held. I must admit that I’ve not been a perfect father, but like other Christian fathers, I’ve had some successes and some stumbling’s along the way.

Being a father isn’t easy. One blogger wrote:

It’s hard to be a father. You don’t have to be a father to know that. It’s easy to see that it’s hard to be a father. I was in the grocery store awhile back, and I couldn’t help noticing a man, who was trying to do his shopping with a little boy, who was crying and wailing from his perch in the cart, unconsolably. The father was murmuring under his breath: “Now, Dan, calm down, control yourself, be patient, just a little longer. We’re almost through, almost through. Calm down, Dan, boy.” I said to the man, as I went by with my cart: “Little Danny’s having a hard time there, eh?” The man looked at me and said, “I’m Dan.”[1]

I love it! I can identify. I remember Jesse and Jessica telling us about their fear of shopping with our grandson, Hudson. He had a habit of blurting out whatever popped into his mind. We’ve all been to the grocery store…you know the strange things that you’ll see.

The difficulty of being a father doesn’t end when the child learns to process their thoughts and hold their tongues. It is leading your family in and through times of crisis. It’s leading yourself in both difficulties and the mundane. It’s navigating change. It’s walking in wisdom and taking risks. The list can go on and on, but I’ll stop there.

Several months ago, I spent some time thinking about the power of the blessing of the father. I think it is worth considering this Father’s Day, so let’s spend a few minutes to talk about it.

The Father’s Blessing

The Bible is filled with powerful interactions between fathers and their children (more likely their sons). It does take some thinking to find a great example of a father – Samuel, Eli, David, Solomon, and more had lives filled with problems with their kids. The patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob) were far from perfect themselves but highly respected. And each of them spoke powerful blessings into the lives of their kids and, even, grandkids.

Isaac’s Blessing

Genesis 27:27–29 NIV

So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, “Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed. May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine. May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.”

Israel’s Blessing

Genesis 49:22–26 NIV

“Joseph is a fruitful vine, a fruitful vine near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall. With bitterness archers attacked him; they shot at him with hostility. But his bow remained steady, his strong arms stayed limber, because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel, because of your father’s God, who helps you, because of the Almighty, who blesses you with blessings of the skies above, blessings of the deep springs below, blessings of the breast and womb. Your father’s blessings are greater than the blessings of the ancient mountains, than the bounty of the age-old hills. Let all these rest on the head of Joseph, on the brow of the prince among his brothers.

The blessings of these fathers spoke powerfully into the lives of their children. I don’t want to have to be on my deathbed to speak blessings on my family. I don’t think you do either, so let’s consider some ways that dads can bless their families today.

3 Ways to Bless Your Family

As we get started today, I want you to understand that my message this morning is directed at a specific audience – the church. I will assume that the men and women that are listening this morning have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He leads, inspires, and His Spirit convicts us. In all that we do and say we want to please Him. With that being said, let’s look at a few ways to bless our families.

#1 - Create a Shadow

By this I mean create influence. Throw into this the ideals of integrity, honor, and strength but I want to drill down on strength. Jesus assumed that homes are established around strong men.

Mark 3:27 NIV

In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house.

Neil Kennedy says,

Jesus teaches that the thief comes only for the purpose to steal, kill, and to destroy. Your nemesis hates your home. He knows that before he can take your possessions, he must first tie you up. He considers you a strong man. You’re the protector of the home. You bring to your home a security—a spiritual authority to protect your turf.

If Satan can get you bound or remove you from being the gate of authority to your home, he has full access to ransack your home.

A vital attribute of being a husband is to bring security to the home.[2]

As you can see, strength is not just about how much weight you can bench press. It is more about your ability to be the spiritual, emotional, and physical leader in your home. Sadly, some men don’t lead their homes at all while others just simply manage the home. Men, you are called to lead! Let me show you the difference, failure to lead is clear. The difference between managing and leading is more nuanced.

Leadership isn’t so much skillfully helping a group accomplish what they want to do (that is management). Leadership is taking people where they need to go and yet resist going. - Tod Bolsinger[3]

It takes strength to go beyond managing your home to leading your home. As that definition points out, there are times when there will be resistance, but you need to remain strong and lead your family into blessing.

· Do not attempt to draw your strength from your wife and kids. Don’t whine and mumble about the burdens that you’re carrying.

· Don’t be weak and whiny. Don’t put the burden on them. They’re children.

· Go to God and draw your strength from Him, then turn and strengthen your family.

The Word of God offers clarity on the relationship between a husband and a wife. One of those verses is in a letter from Peter:

1 Peter 3:7 NIV

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

A strong husband will be considerate, respectful, and prayerful.

#2 - Cultivate Life

The atmosphere that you allow in your home becomes the culture of your children. – Neil Kennedy

I am committed to my belief that this is one of the primary blessings that a father can speak over his family. At the same time, it is a continual challenge. I spent some time thinking about what this looked like in the Bible; and, the fact is, we don’t get to see much into the homes of Bible fathers. But one that stood out to me is one that you might not expect – Job.

Job 1:1–5 (NIV)

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.

He had seven sons and three daughters,

and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.

His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them.

When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make arrangements for them to be purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, “Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular custom.

In just a few verses we see a culture of life that Job created. He feared God and shunned evil. His sons (I suggest that Job began) would hold birthday parties and invite the larger family. Job also acted as the priest of the family. He had created a culture of life for his family.

Dad’s, you must be intentional about creating a culture of life. I’m not saying that you have to do it all. I absolutely rely on Cindy to create or help during these times. If there is a holiday or birthday, our family is very likely to have some kind of get-together to celebrate. We have our annual Thanksgiving football games, July 4th bbq, and most birthday parties over the years have been celebrated at our home. I’m grateful for the memories and anticipation that they created and continue to create.

The home is the chief school of human virtues.

– William Ellery Channing

Dad’s there are some strong “voices” in our world that are trying to create an entirely different culture.

“…the internet, smartphones, and television has invited influences that are not always in agreement with our belief systems. I am sure that internet filters and monitoring controls for these devices are helpful but if we do not protect the atmosphere of our homes, we will not see it become a culture for our children.”

We don’t hear much about culture in the home but it’s very important. Conversation, books, politeness, and manners, may sound like archaic ideals but in reality these can and should become the attributes of our homes.

If you teach your children how to conduct themselves at home, they will have no problem behaving in public.”[4]

After all the troubles of Job, we are giving a final picture of his life.

Job 42:10–17 (NIV)

After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.

All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring.

The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys.

And he also had seven sons and three daughters.

The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch.

Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.

After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation.

And so Job died, an old man and full of years.

#3 - Energize Your Marriage

I prefaced the message this morning by identifying the audience, men and women who love Jesus. You are different! You are set apart!

Ephesians 5:25–33 (NIV)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—

for we are members of his body.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Notice that as Paul addresses the husband, Paul expects that the husband loves his wife the way that he loves his own body. Nobody in their right mind hits his own thumb with a hammer intentionally or starves themselves. There are way too many struggles going on in marriages – way too many casualties.

8 years ago, I preached a series of messages title “Marriage Tune-up”. The messages were Creating a Strong Spark, Sticking to the Specs, and Maximizing Power to Perform. I have to admit, it sounds like some power vitamin commercial. The point was (and is) we know what it takes to keep the engines in our cars, boats, tools, and ATV’s running smoothly. But sometimes we struggle with keeping the motors of our marriages running. It is worth the investment.

I’m no mechanic but I’ve learned the value of keeping an engine running. In the Army we used to do Preventive Maintenance Checks and Service (PMCS). Stateside it was an irritating chore. We never used the vehicles. During war it was essential. My team of soldiers insured the vehicle was in good shape (and even got creative at times to fix something that needed repair). We needed the vehicle to get to complete the mission.

Ok, I’ll stop comparing our brides to vehicles, but you get my point. Our marriages ought to be life giving, filled with joy, companionship, and passion but if you’re not caring for it – you are being foolish.

A strong marriage is a blessing to your family. It is a legacy that you can leave to your kids and you don’t have to wait until your final breaths to leave it.

#4 - Speak Blessings, Not Curses

#5 - Cast a Spectacular Vision

Dads, Leave an Eternal Blessing

In conclusion I want to change my audience this morning. Up to this point I’ve been speaking as though each of you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ but there may be someone, man or woman, who has not made the choice to serve Jesus. I want to offer you a chance to leave an eternal blessing to your family!

At the funeral of Ronald Reagan, his son Michael described the greatest gift a child can receive:

I was so proud … to be Ronald Reagan’s son. What a great honor. He gave me a lot of gifts as a child—a horse, a car, a lot of things. But there’s a gift he gave me that I think is wonderful for every father to give every son.…

Last Saturday, … when he closed his eyes, that’s when I realized the gift that he gave to me, the gift that he was going to be with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He had, back in 1988 on a flight from Washington, D.C., to Point Mugu, told me about his love of God, his love of Christ as his Savior. I didn’t know then what it all meant. But I certainly, certainly know now.

I can’t think of a better gift for a father to give a son. And I hope to honor my father by giving my son, Cameron, and my daughter, Ashley, that very same gift he gave to me. I know where my father is this very moment; that he is in heaven. I can only promise my father this: “Dad, when I die, I will go to heaven, too. And you and I and my sister, Maureen, who went before us, will dance with the heavenly host of angels before the presence of God. We will do it melanoma- and Alzheimer’s-free.[5]

Leave an eternal blessing to your family. Make an eternal decision today to surrender your life to Christ. If you do, your kids will look forward to having the opportunity to dance with you once again in Heaven.

[1]https://www.preaching.com/sermons/a-fathers-blessing/ [2]Kennedy, Neil. [3]Bolsinger, Tod. Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory. Page 124. [4]Kennedy, Neil. [5]Craig Brian Larson and Phyllis Ten Elshof, 1001 Illustrations That Connect (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 2008), 286–287.