Fathers Day 2024

VBS 2025 - CHRISTMAS IN JULY - Special thank you, huge growth to Chelsea Kipper

Good Morning Journey and welcome to Journey where our mission is to Reach Wider and Walk Deeper with God and others and today we are putting a pause on our “Creed” series and I'd like to wish every dad, grandad, soon to be dad, or men who may have never had children but non the less you leave legacies, a Happy Fathers Day. How many of you know that being a man, husband, and father isn't easy, in fact it very well be what my friend said this week the single greatest challenge and the single greatest reward that you will ever experience in your life. Manhood, fatherhood is important and it's incredibly close to the heart of God who after all desires us who are in Christ Jesus to not just call him Lord, instead Jesus teaches us that God invites us to call him, Our father. Why because when we are in Jesus we are sons and daughters of God adopted into the family of God. Fatherhood, manhood is important to God and it is interesting that the very first time the enemy deceives people in the Garden it is through the passivity of Adam. Who standing next to Eve as the serpent is talking to him does not take up the mantle of provider and protector and stop this. We see it in Genesis 3  where after taking the fruit it says she handed some to her husband who was next to her. Now I understand that if my wife handed me fruit naked i’m not asking any question about what kind it was or where she got it.

But ever since that moment all throughout old testament history, new testament teachings and up until now we see that there is a strategic attack from the enemy satan against men. Because he knows if he can destroy men he can convert nations. If he can weaken men he can break families, if he can make men believe following Jesus if for the weak he knows the large majority of kids will be christless, if he can get men to give up being protectors and providers it's easy prey to indoctrinate families, towns, communities and countries and turn them into godless societies. Men are important and they are established by God to be providers, protectors of the family and countries.

I was looking up some stats this week and 1 in 4 kids today grow up in single parent homes with over 80% of these homes being fatherless. Kids from fatherless homes are twice as likely to have behavioral and mental health problems, they have a greater risk of poverty, more likely to go to prison, more likely to commit crimes, more likely to become pregnant as a teenager, more than twice as likely to be abused, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, twice as likely to drop out of schools, and only a small majority graduate college.

Now listen carefully, these are stats and statistics, if you grew up in an absent father home, if you raised kids where the father is absent and you struggled and managed to beat the odds that's amazing. But you are one of the lucky few. Your lived experience tells your story, it does not tell the whole story. Because on the flip side families with fathers who are actively  present, not just there. Big difference, but dads who are good men, and apart of their kids lives, watch this, they raise kids who are happier, live longer, less likely to suffer depression and other mental illnesses, have increased self esteem, less likely to have teen pregnancy, less likely to abuse alcohol and drug, more likely to graduate college and less likely to be a criminal and more than 4 times less likely to abandon their own families.

Listen men, the world needs good, Godly, Christ centered men. Men who will lead their families to righteousness, holiness and away from the perverse culture of the devil. Positive Godly masculinity in your home is the key to fighting the good fight and it is a mandate from God. Godly men are good for women and children. There is a difference between being a good dad, and being a good man. You can be a weak man and be a good dad. Watch what Jesus says in Matthew 7:9-10 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Even evil men know how to treat their kids with kindness, how much more would it be if men filled with the Holy Spirit led?

So today's message stems from an idea I have had for while from a movie called, “Second Hand Lions” where in the movie an older man has a talk called, “What every young boy needs to know about being a man speech” you never hear the whole speech only one point but I hope to one day be able to write that very speech for myself. In preparation for today I had a survey out there that helped me write these points. But today's message isn't just about fatherhood, in fact it's about how to be a good man. If you are a student, single, married, or grandfather , I believe you will get something from this. If you are a woman, wife, grandmother these are points I know you would want to see from your husband, sons or man in your life and areas you can encourage.

Lastly before we jump into the points. I by no means am close to achieving any of the points I will be sharing with you. In fact it was very humbling to me as I wrote this seeing just how much I have to go so I am preaching to the choir. In fact just two weeks something happened that will tell you how I am not perfect in this. I was talking with my older son Atticus who is 7 and I was asking him, “hey buddy, have I been more angry and yelling more than usual? He said yes, and I said, “well i'm sorry about that buddy you know daddy is a person too and I am learning how to control my anger and I am working on it ok, will you forgive me? He goes yeah I forgive and he pauses, squints his eyes, points his finger at me and says “You know you need to learn some coping skills and maybe go to therapy to figure out why you get so angry. Hand on a bible true story. You have not been truly humbled until your 7 year old tells you to go to therapy. Anyway here are 6 points on being a Godly Man:

1: Fix your Focus: Hebrews 12:2; Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:25-28

Did you know that the leading parents when it comes to spiritually following Jesus or leading their families to church in the United States is the mom. For some reason men today believe that it is weak to be in a relationship with Jesus or to consistently lead their families closer to him or disciple their wives and kdis. But Jesus calls men to the highest standard of manhood, holiness, integrity, honor, and it also includes vulnerability. And maybe that's the reason because we falsely believe that vulnerability is weak but it actually shows strength. If Jesus cried, so can you. If Jesus asked for help so can you, if Jesus needed alone time with his heavenly father who are you to say you don’t? And I get it, you have work, wives, kids and on Sundays you want to relax, but the greatest thing you can do for your family is lead them to Jesus. Fix your focus and get the order right.

You have to fix your focus on Jesus. This is what the author of Hebrews says Hebrews 12:2, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame,and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Jesus has to be your fixed focus before anything else. When we fix our eyes on Jesus we dont drift, how many of you know we never drift in the right direction. Instead, we have a fixed point that brings balance to our lives and in doing so as we fix our eyes on him daily begin to be changed from the inside out. When we fix our eyes on Jesus we become better men, and better men are better for women and kids. We become better husbands, better fathers, better co workers, better friends, we are more caring, more generous, more willing to serve, the list can go on an on. But listen friends, you have to make it a priority. Many men make fantasy football or hobbies  a priority and listen to podcasts all day about it and say they don't have the time to read their bibles. Nonsense. You make the time.

Fix your focus on your wife next, Ephesians 5:25“ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” your spouse must be ahead of your children, God says in genesis 2 the two shall become one, you most likely had your spouse before your kids and you will have them after they grow up and leave and if you make your kids #1 you will soon realize you're married to a stranger. I’ve always known my dad loved my mom more than any of us. Funny enough at least once a year my dad calls me when talking with other people about how his boys know he loves his wife more and he asks me a question “Who do I love more?” Mama, I reply. Good thanks. And hang up. Love your wife. Then as you show them how to love Jesus, love their mom, you set an example of how to love right. Fix your focus.

2: Don’t Steal the Pears: Ephesians 6:4

I got this idea from reading a story about St. Augustine, who as a teenager he and a few friends were walking by a farmers house and they saw a single pear tree with 6 ripe pears and they stole them. But they didn't even want to eat them, they just wanted to steal them and they threw these 6 pears to pigs to eat. Upon reflection as an adult he realized that he didn't just steal the pears from the tree, but rather he stole something far worse, he stole the farmers' joy to reap what he sowed. He stole the farmers' joy of the delicious fruit.

Men don’t steal pears from your families. What I mean is this, you are the thermostat of your family, as you go so goes the rest of the house. How many times have you come home and everyone is in a good mood and you are not and an hour later no one is in a good mood? You stole pears. You come home angry from work and you take it out on everybody else. Ephesians 6:4 tells us not to exacerbate our kids. Meaning this, don't make them angry or irritable. I would say the same for anyone living in your home.

But also too, how many times have your kids or wife wanted to do something for you and you shut it down. You stole pears. Just a few weeks ago it was my birthday and Kalree asked me where I wanted to go to dinner and I downplayed it saying it's not a big deal it's whatever and Karlee looked at me and said, it is your birthday, the kids are excited to go out and celebrate with you. Right then I realized I was about to steal pears. Be the thermostat, set the tone. Don’t steal the pears.

3: Collect your Flowers: Proverbs 17:22 - A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

I’ve heard it said the only time men receive flowers is at their funeral. What does receiving flowers mean? Well it means some sort of affection, I love you, I care for you, I went out of my way for you to get you something that you will love that is pretty the list can go on. In fact I love giving flowers to Karlee and the girls, and dean even gets one because he likes flowers also.

So what do I mean by collecting your flowers? Men we can love well, but we can be terrible at being loved back. Just look at the story I told you earlier, Karlee and the kids wanted to do something for me, and as I downplayed it I wasn't collecting the flowers, an analogy I'm using to signify allowing yourself to be loved by others and I was also stealing their pears. I am not quite sure why this is with us, for some reason I tend to think it has to do with how we view ourselves, our identity, and the idea that accepting flowers is a vulnerability. When it comes to identity for those of us in Jesus Christ we are children of God inheritors of the Kingdom of God and yet that doesn't translate to how we live our lives. And even when we accept flowers it is vulnerable because you are telling someone thank you for loving me. Which gets into emotions. Let me tell you something lovingly. Grow up. When you were kids or teenagers to show vulnerability was to be made fun of alot and that translated to adulthood and yet the Apostle Paul tells us to put away childish things. Men, it's ok. In this survey I did every single person on there wished their father would have opened up to them in some way shape or form. 20 out of 20. And even the fathers that were great at it, the kids said they wish it was more. It's time to grow up and collect your flowers, allow yourself to be loved by those who love you.

4: Your Presence is Powerful: Deuteronomy 6:6-9

90% of people I asked said they wish their dad knew them more, or spent time with them more. There is a reason why many of you currently are dealing with father wounds. It all stems from them not being present, they didn't take an interest in your hobbies, were always at work, never around emotionally, didn't sit and talk with you, did not lead you to Jesus. In fact many of you today are still wishing to hear the words that your dad is proud of you, or just to acknowledge you by saying they love you. This is why kids ask for your attention over and over again because a validation from dad shows them you see them and you are proud of them. In Deuteronomy 6:6-9 Moses tells us that we are to present with our kids, knowing them and teaching them the ways of the Lord and it's it an expectation that you do it daily, not occasionally. That you do life with them: These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

For me this one is very close to me because my dad and my mom were present. I remember so many times when my dad would get home after a long day of work and he would be tired and us boys and friends would be playing basketball and we would ask him to come and play and he would go get changed and walk out and proudly declare, “this old fat guy is going to beat all of you” and you know what? HE DID. He would work us over, he was so good. And my friends would comment that they wish their dads would do the same. It was so cool, and internally I was so proud that I had a dad who was there.  My dad always led us to church, he would stop and talk life with us and into us, he was there. We all played sports in high school and no matter what they were there…except when I wrestled but I understood that one I was wearing a singlet…but Karlee was there so i also understood that. I never shared this publicly but I remember it was my last football game ever in high school and i’m a 5 foot 6 150 pound white guy I’m not playing anywhere. I loved football, and I walked out of the locker room sad and crying because its over and the first person I see is him. And he gives me a hug as I’m crying and tells me, “It’s ok, God has a bigger plan for your life.” and it was that moment that I embraced my calling into ministry. My dad was there.

When I was baptized he was there, when I got engaged he was there, when I married he was there, he was there when our friends died, he was the first person to hold Lilly besides Karlee. He's been there when I needed help, when I needed correction, he was there two nights ago at an impromptu silent disco, and when we traveled to rome,  he wasfirst person I called when I got fired and lived across the country was my dad and he said “Come on home”.

Your presence is an example that Your sons will follow and that your daughters will marry one day. Be the example they look up to, not the one they want to avoid.

His presence is powerful in my life, and men, your presence is powerful also. What did God do? He didn't stay up in heaven, but rather he sent Jesus to be with us, he sent the holy spirit to live in us, why? Because the presence of God is powerful. God told us, God modeled it and we get to live in it. WHen it comes to your families, your presence is powerful.

5: It takes a village, be the protector of it:

Raising kids is not easy and it truly does take a village, family, friends, church, school the list can go on and on and fathers have a moral duty and spiritual obligation to protect your village from the enemy. This is what 1 Peter 5:8 says, Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. You are the gatekeeper of your family and do not be mistaken, scripture is clear, the enemy is after your kids. He wants to indoctrinate  their minds, wound their souls and twist their identities. This whole month people are bowing down to the pagan idol of pride and calling its perverted sexual desires good and a godly sexual ethic as morally wrong. In doing so they try to make the lowest common denominator their identity and are trying to normalize behaviors that sodom and gomorrah were destroyed for. And this is no longer about what adults do in the bedroom; it is now seen as normal practice to bring it into the classroom, living room through entertainment, phones through social media,  and now in many altercations and stages in places people call churches but look nothing like Jesus.

We must project our kids not just from the radical sex cult but from all things that are not of Jesus. This is why Peter tells us to be alert, meaning on your guard, on the edge of your seat, be aware. Protect your kids by knowing who their friends are and if they are bad friends, tell them they can't be friends with them. Project them by not allowing social media or free range on their phones, parent locks and restrictions. Listen, you have every right to see everything your kid posts, texts, snaps, and goggles as long as they live under your roof because they are under your protection. Some would say “But I trust my kids' awesomeness , don't. In my house you will be guilty until proven innocent because I sure know I was guilty 90% of the time.

Be aware of your village, who you let in because your kids are your responsibility. Your job isn't to be their friend but their protector and raise children with a biblical worldview and send them off as disciples and light into a dark world. It takes a village, be the protector of it.

6: Legacy is not what but Who: 2 Timothy 2:1-10 You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.2 And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. 3 Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.4 No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer. 5 Similarly, anyone who competes as an athlete does not receive the victor’s crown except by competing according to the rules. 6 The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. 7 Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.

8 Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, 9 for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God’s word is not chained.10 Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

The Apostle Paul is speaking to Timothy in this passage and he is speaking about the legacy he wants to leave and instill in Timothy once Paul is gone. Because gentleman, your greatest legacy will not be what you achieve, it will be who you raise. I have been a part of many funerals in my lifetime so far and probably many more to come and you know what I have never heard…”I wish my dad would have worked more. I’m so glad my dad didn't spend time with us, I'm so happy dad never instilled any values in me.”

What I hear is people remembering how great their dad was, wrestling with them, caring for them, apologizing to them. Memories of favorite stories and favorite times, the time they dad protected them, made them laugh, punished them and later only realized it was for their good. The values they were instilled with like, Christ-Likeness, reading your bible daily, leadership, strong worth ethic, kindness, generosity, gratitude, integrity, honor and the list can go on and on. Your children are supposed to outlive you, and who you send off into the world when you are not around is one of the most important jobs God has given you.

So men, are you going through the motions or are you intentional? Are you leading your family closer to Christ or are you relying on the church to do it. Are you protecting your village, or are there hidden wolves? Are you vulnerable with your children, or are you made of stone? Have you stolen pears, collected flowers? What morals and values are you teaching your children, because believe me, their morals are being shaped, their values are being formed make them yours. Be present, be active, and keep being great men, who are great dads and in doing so you will be great for women and children.

Which one do you need to work on?

SPECIAL BLESSING: If you are a dad, I want you to raise your hand, have people place hands on them, pray over them. Dismiss.