The Necessity of Reconciliation

Why are some of us not talking?

Let’s put it out there. I know there are people in the church that have unresolved conflict. They are too prideful to apologize for the hurt they’ve caused. They even go one step further and have developed such a bad attitude towards the person they hurt that they’ll gossip and slander them. Why are we doing this?

Not only that, what does God think? He’s the thing we’re all looped around. If I wasn’t a Christian I’d definitely still be in bed right now, but instead I’m a part of this family. How is God okay with people causing this hurt within the family and not doing anything about it? Let’s get into our passage to figure that out.

Context

Jesus has a large crowd following him that had heard about him and come to him for healing.

He goes up on a mountain and starts teaching to them.

He has just started his section of fulfilling the Law. He is going to take the commandment of the Law, and get to the heart of the command to show the increased righteousness required of Christ’s people.

He kicks off with anger, showing how murder isn’t the issue, it is the heart that dismisses people out of anger. This attitude is just as liable to punishment as murder. Now he is going to give us what we do in light of that.

Matthew 5:23–26 NASB 95

Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last cent.

Not one of the most fun passages, but one of the most saving.

Realizing

Matthew 5:23 NASB 95

Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,

Jesus isn’t speaking about the hurt we’ve experienced from others, he’s talking about the hurt we’ve caused others. It is the person-who-hurt’s job to remedy this.

Craig Blomberg says “‘Has something against you’ probably implies a “just claim” and also suggests that we ought not bring up our grievances with others that they do not yet know about but that we deal with situations in which others remain upset with us. How many of our churches would or should be temporarily emptied if these commands were taken seriously?”

We have people in the church that have hurt others and not worked to reconcile. We’ve already gotten a peek at the brutal consequences of this, but we’ll get more into it.

Reconciling

Matthew 5:24 NASB 95

leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.

It seems like this person would just quickly run out of the temple, go talk with their friend for a few minutes, then come back and finish up, but that’s not what’s happening here.

The only altar where an offering could be made was at the temple in Jerusalem. This saying was likely given in Galilee, which is about 80 miles from Jerusalem. This would be a journey of a week or more to Galilee and back again to fix things.

This is a big deal y’all. These sacrifices were a big deal, the journey is a big task. God demands reconciliation, and after studying this passage, I’m convinced that ignoring that means cutting things off with God. God isn’t going to shrug off you being prideful and not dealing with the hurt you’ve caused and let you just keep going with him. We’ll see it play out here:

Rushing

Matthew 5:25–26 NASB 95

Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last cent.

In fact, Jesus uses this same lesson in a different context in Luke 12:58-59

Luke 12:58–59 NASB 95

For while you are going with your opponent to appear before the magistrate, on your way there make an effort to settle with him, so that he may not drag you before the judge, and the judge turn you over to the officer, and the officer throw you into prison. I say to you, you will not get out of there until you have paid the very last cent.”

This is in the context of being ready when Jesus returns, and the story itself carries the idea of heading to the judge. People take the section in the Matthew passage to refer to us heading to the judgement seat of Christ, and having everything squashed before we get there. This reconciles us to God and prevents the Judge from imposing punishment.

This was common in the society of the time. If you wronged someone, they could order you to come to court with them. If you could settle with them on the way, it meant no legal proceedings were required. But if you went to court, the verdict was final, and you will pay it in full. Jesus uses one of the smallest currencies of the time here to show just how serious of a judgement it is. It’s a judgement that doesn’t show mercy. At that point, the time for mercy has passed.

If you’re feeling like I did this week, you’re feeling a bit tense after all this. Maybe terrified. I want to encourage us as we go out today with how this is good news.

This Is Good News for Monday

There was a blacksmith once who had two pieces of iron which he wished to weld into one, and he took them just as they were, all cold and hard, and put them on the anvil, and began to hammer with all his might, but they were two pieces still, and would not unite. At last he remembered what he ought never to have forgotten; he put both of them into the fire, took them out red-hot, laid the one upon the other, and with one or two blows of the hammer they very soon became one.

I think the severity of the consequences here is a blessing that forces us to reconcile. The highest stakes are being cut off from God. We’ve been talking about the requirement for the one who caused the hurt to forgive, but when we combine that with Jesus’ other teachings that those who are forgiven must themselves forgive, we end up with the two pieces of iron. The severity of the consequences are the fire that heats them up, puts the conflict in its proper perspective, and unifies them again. This ensures we always have whole relationships within the Body of Christ.

Go Reconcile

You must reflect on those that you’ve hurt, and reconcile with them. When you remember the conflict, you become the person at the altar presenting their sacrifice. You can not continue in your relationship with God while you let that conflict remain. Do what is in your power to be reconciled, then return.

We’ve never been more connected than we are now, we likely don’t have to make the eight day journey that this audience would have. Go apologize and make things right.

One of my biggest pet peeves is preachers using themselves as examples of good things to do. I’ll use myself as an example of how to screw up, but I avoid using myself, but I want to share this one not because I want to be some super stud, but I just don’t have a good equivalent story that gives a clear practical way forward, and I didn’t want to lie and say this was someone else.

This isn’t my first time giving this message, originally I did all this study and writing back in June 2024, and I was the guy at the altar. I got flooded by all these things from even middle school and high school and realized I had so many people that, if I ran into them, I’d avoid them in shame. There was things I did wrong that hadn’t been addressed.

So I got to work. It was 11:30 at night when this hit me, and I whipped out my phone and sent tons of people a message like this:

“Hey ____, this is Justin Head from ____. In church this week we talked about Matthew 5:23-24 and I realized I owe you an apology...”

And I have to tell you, this was the best thing ever. Former employers and I were cool after I apologized for how I slacked off at times, classmates finally got an apology from me for being a jerk and causing drama, teachers got apologies from me for being loud, disruptive, and disrespectful, ex-girlfriends got apologies for the ways I didn’t treat them with the respect they deserved.

And I felt AMAZING. Except for a couple people I just couldn’t track down, I am reconciled. I know this isn’t holding me back from God, and that he loves the unity I’ve pursued. Again, I’ll try to never use me as an example again in a sermon, but I wanted to give this clear way to bite the bullet.

When They Apologize

And you may be approached by someone that has hurt you after this looking for reconciliation. Remember the teaching of the unforgiving servant. If we do not forgive, how can we expect to be forgiven by the Holy God that we have wronged so much more.