Take the High Road

One older lady in life who was dumped by her husband – poured gallons of paint on his BMW while parked outside his girlfriend’s apartment/she cut 4 inches off the left sleeve on 32 of his $1600 suits/gave away 60 bottles of his finest wine & cleaned the toilet with her husband’s toothbrush.

Another lady by the name of Vera Czermak, jumped out window of her third floor apartment to commit suicide –the only problem was – she landed on her husband & killed him instead – I’m NOT Sure If That is Bad Luck or Good Luck on Her Part

Let me ask again, How many of you have ever wanted to get revenge (real revenge) on someone that did something to you? Today, we are not going to learn how to do that. But I do want us to learn how to over come difficult people by taking the high road.

I know it’s not what you really want to do and it’s not going to satisfy that selfish desire for payback that all of us have but trust me, if we can learn how to take the high road when dealing with difficult people then we will come out on top in the end.

1 Samuel 24:1–15 NLT

1 After Saul returned from fighting the Philistines, he was told that David had gone into the wilderness of En-gedi. 2 So Saul chose 3,000 elite troops from all Israel and went to search for David and his men near the rocks of the wild goats. 3 At the place where the road passes some sheepfolds, Saul went into a cave to relieve himself. But as it happened, David and his men were hiding farther back in that very cave! 4 “Now’s your opportunity!” David’s men whispered to him. “Today the Lord is telling you, ‘I will certainly put your enemy into your power, to do with as you wish.’ ” So David crept forward and cut off a piece of the hem of Saul’s robe. 5 But then David’s conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul’s robe. 6 He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this to my lord the king. I shouldn’t attack the Lord’s anointed one, for the Lord himself has chosen him.” 7 So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul. After Saul had left the cave and gone on his way, 8 David came out and shouted after him, “My lord the king!” And when Saul looked around, David bowed low before him. 9 Then he shouted to Saul, “Why do you listen to the people who say I am trying to harm you? 10 This very day you can see with your own eyes it isn’t true. For the Lord placed you at my mercy back there in the cave. Some of my men told me to kill you, but I spared you. For I said, ‘I will never harm the king—he is the Lord’s anointed one.’ 11 Look, my father, at what I have in my hand. It is a piece of the hem of your robe! I cut it off, but I didn’t kill you. This proves that I am not trying to harm you and that I have not sinned against you, even though you have been hunting for me to kill me. 12 “May the Lord judge between us. Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me, but I will never harm you. 13 As that old proverb says, ‘From evil people come evil deeds.’ So you can be sure I will never harm you. 14 Who is the king of Israel trying to catch anyway? Should he spend his time chasing one who is as worthless as a dead dog or a single flea? 15 May the Lord therefore judge which of us is right and punish the guilty one. He is my advocate, and he will rescue me from your power!”

You may have heard that there are two things in life that are certain… death and taxes. but…

There are three things in life that are certain - death, taxes and hurts.

2 Timothy 3:12 NLT

12 Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

2 Timothy 4:14–15 NLT

14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm, but the Lord will judge him for what he has done. 15 Be careful of him, for he fought against everything we said.

Paul says people are going to hurt each other. Sometimes others hurt us accidentally and sometimes others hurt us intentionally / they hurt us by what they do or say.

David was a young man, but he had experienced hurts in his life. (1 Samuel 18-16)

David had become a young champion of Israel after he killed the giant… Goliath. He was a leader in Saul’s army and at this point of his life; He had done nothing wrong. But because the people loved him, he was envied and hated by Saul. In fact, Saul had become a hateful and mean person in his life.

Do you know anyone like that? We all do…

Why do people hurt us or attempt to hurt us?

1. They are influenced by Satan. (John 10:10; 2 CO 2:11)

John 10:10 NLT

10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

2 Corinthians 2:11 NLT

11 so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.

Some people don’t believe in the devil. Jesus did, so I do. You had better believe he is real because he influences people around you all day and every day. Sometimes he even influences us.

2. They are influenced by their sin nature. (Rom 7:19-20; James 4:1)

We are all born with a sinful nature. Take a baby in the nursery… he gets hungry he will throw a fit until you feed him. or take a toy away from a toddler.

Look at what Paul said in Rom 7:19-20

Romans 7:19–20 NLT

19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

Paul was struggling with his sinful nature.

James 4:1 NLT

1 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?

James affirms that we have evil desires in us. That is our sinful nature fighting against our reborn nature.

3. They are influenced by the culture. (Rom 12:2; James 1:27)

We are broken people living in a broken world. Many people care only about themselves. How many know that’s true?

Look at what Paul said in Rom 12:2

Romans 12:2 NLT

2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

James 1:27 NLT

27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

Don’t let the culture influence you.

If we allow them, hurtful people will drag us down into despair. (1 Sam 24:1)

1 Samuel 24:1 NLT

1 After Saul returned from fighting the Philistines, he was told that David had gone into the wilderness of En-gedi.

That’s what had happened to David – As our text opens David is in the fugitive years of life. He spent 10 yrs running from King Saul, even though he & King Saul were friends at one time and Jonathan was his best friend. King Saul knows that God & the people of Israel want David to become King so King Saul focuses all of his hatred & jealously on David and seeks to kill him.

Jealousy is an evil thing that can cause you to do things that you really would not do if you were emotionally in a good place. As our text continues David is on the run, hiding anywhere he can and he now finds himself with his men hiding in a caves. David is at his lowest point in life. He knows he has been chosen by God to become king but he is now running for his life. King Saul is trying to do everything he can to catch and kill David.

So let me ask you, Have you ever had an enemy like that in your life? They are willing to do anything to get even with you or just to hurt you in some way… Almost all of us have!

Hurts and hurtful people are a reality in life, so we must prepare ourselves to deal with and overcome them.

1. Taking the high road with difficult people requires resisting revenge. (1 Sam 24:1-4)

1 Samuel 24:1–4 NLT

In the beginning verses of 1 Samuel 24 David is in a very large cave hiding from King Saul & his 3000 soldiers that are hoping to find David and his men so that they can kill them.

In verse 3 King Saul finds himself right in the middle of one of those moments, you know what I am talking about, where you are in the middle of trying to get something done and “WAM!” the urge hits you. You need to go to the bathroom.

All at once, an incredible turn of events takes place. David’s primary enemy / the leader of the Israelite army who is searching to kill him has come into the very cave where David and his men are hiding. King Saul can’t see them. David & his men are hidden in the recesses of the cave.

David’s men realize they have an unusual opportunity and in verse 4 we learn that they believe that the Lord has given them a unique opportunity to sneak up on Saul and kill him while his guard and his is pants are down.

So let me ask,

What do you do when the opportunity presents itself to get even with someone who has hurt you or is looking to hurt you?

Here are some things you need to understand.

We must understand that not all opportunities are from the Lord.

Don’t ever decide the will of God on the basis of outward circumstances. Just because the circumstances make it possible to do certain things, it doesn’t mean that God wants you to do those things.

Think about Jonah (Jonah 1) God had told Jonah to go to Nineveh. Jonah didn’t want to go and so he went in the opposite direction. He winds up in Joppa and finds a ship waiting for him at the docks. Looks in his wallet … exactly enough money … thinks that the Lord has provided a way for him to not have to go to Nineveh. Now if you were to study the life of Jonah you will learn that not going to Nineveh was not in the will of God / not what God’s plan was for Jonah.

Unfortunately sometimes we are able to manipulate opportunities… some pretty well, don’t we? We can make it seem to ourselves and others as though God has provided a way for us to do something or to get even when we know deep inside that that is not God’s plan for us.

Well, David has an opportunity to do his enemy harm, to inflict JUST revenge. But David refused to do so. David demonstrates in this moment that his love for God and for doing things God’s way more important than his love for himself and getting revenge. He made the decision that he wouldn’t lower himself to Satan’s level & that he was not going to hurt King Saul.

Jesus taught that when we have opportunities to harm our enemies, we are instead to love them and do good to them. (Matthew 5:43-48)

Matthew 5:43–48 NLT

43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

That’s God’s way and what God says we are to do to our enemies. When the opportunity is presented to us to do them harm, God says, “Don’t do it, don’t harm them, don’t take revenge – love them instead.”

There are three levels of life in relationship with those who would attempt to do wrong to us. The human level; the hellish level; & the heavenly level.

1. The human level -

We give out evil for evil and good for good.

2. The hellish level

We give out evil for good.

3. The heavenly level

We give out good for evil.

That’s the Jesus level / the level that David chose on this occasion. The level where no matter what someone does to you, you are committed to responding the way that Jesus would respond.

Some of you are think, “Pastor Robert, I can’t do that. What about what they did to me. They deserve payback.” You are right, they deserve payback but that does not mean that that is what they have to get or what we have to do. We can choose to love them in spite of what they have done (Phil 4:13)

David had learned that lesson and I think that we can to. David knows that he doesn’t have to take a short-cut to the throne by killing King Saul. That’s what the devil wants us to do. He wants us to be like the world, he wants us to take shortcuts on following God will and way for our lives. Which by the way causes us to miss out on God’s best for our lives.

We must be willing to be different from the culture and do things God’s way when opportunities for revenge pop up.

The high road is always the best road.

2. Taking the high road with difficult people requires expressing humility. (1 Sam 24:5-8)

1 Samuel 24:5 NLT

5 But then David’s conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul’s robe.

This verse says a lot about David. You will know how committed you are to the Lord when little things trouble you.

When little indiscretions bother us, it’s a sign of humility.

It shows that we are in a place where God can use us. Look how humble David is.

1 Samuel 24:6–8 NLT

6 He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this to my lord the king. I shouldn’t attack the Lord’s anointed one, for the Lord himself has chosen him.” 7 So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul. After Saul had left the cave and gone on his way, 8 David came out and shouted after him, “My lord the king!” And when Saul looked around, David bowed low before him.

David is showing great humility towards Saul. Does anyone besides me ever struggle to show humility? Especially hard if it’s someone who has wronged us. Saul was trying to kill David.

Here’s what I have discovered,

We oftentimes seek revenge because our pride has been hurt.

It’s not so much what the person actually did, but that it hurt our pride.

Maybe you have said something like…

How could I have been so stupid to let them take advantage of me like that?

I can’t believe that I let them do that…

Have you ever felt that way about someone? That shows that it’s our pride that’s been wounded. Does anyone here ever struggle with pride? Of course we do. We should not be prideful and here is why.

God resists those who are proud, but gives grace to those who are humble (James 4:6-10, 1 Peter 5:5-7).

James 4:6–10 NLT

6 And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 9 Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

1 Peter 5:5–7 NLT

5 In the same way, you who are younger must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

When we are humble we will treat those in authority over us with respect. (Psa 105:14-15; Judges 21:25; Heb 13:17)

David had respect for the King and he addresses Saul as My Lord… My Master… The Lord’s Anointed.

David respected the fact that God had anointed Saul to be King. He wrote in the Psalms…

Psalm 105:15 LBP

15 “Touch not these chosen ones of mine,” he warned, “and do not hurt my prophets.”

We need to do our best to not criticize those in authority over us … pastors, politicians, etc. One of root problems we are facing in America today is that we have become a culture that has little or no respect for authority… we have a society that has no respect for authority and is overrun with crime. One of the key verses in Judges is Judges 21:25

Judges 21:25 NLT

25 In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.

What that means is that no one had respect for authority. When there is no respect for authority it leads to utter chaos in a society. If you doubt that, just look at the news.

David was a humble man who respected those in authority over him, even those like King Saul who was out to kill him. David refused to touch God’s anointed man, even though God’s anointed man was out of the will of God. We must refuse to retaliate because we want to be humble men and women and show great respect for authority in every area of life. When we express humility in our lives it makes it easier for us to take the high road when dealing with difficult people and those who have hurt us or our families.

3. Taking the High Road with difficult people requires responding in love. (1 Sam 24:9-15)

Picking back up in vs. 9.

1 Samuel 24:9–15 NLT

9 Then he shouted to Saul, “Why do you listen to the people who say I am trying to harm you? 10 This very day you can see with your own eyes it isn’t true. For the Lord placed you at my mercy back there in the cave. Some of my men told me to kill you, but I spared you. For I said, ‘I will never harm the king—he is the Lord’s anointed one.’ 11 Look, my father, at what I have in my hand. It is a piece of the hem of your robe! I cut it off, but I didn’t kill you. This proves that I am not trying to harm you and that I have not sinned against you, even though you have been hunting for me to kill me. 12 “May the Lord judge between us. Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me, but I will never harm you. 13 As that old proverb says, ‘From evil people come evil deeds.’ So you can be sure I will never harm you. 14 Who is the king of Israel trying to catch anyway? Should he spend his time chasing one who is as worthless as a dead dog or a single flea? 15 May the Lord therefore judge which of us is right and punish the guilty one. He is my advocate, and he will rescue me from your power!”

Don’t you know that Saul’s got that sinking feeling in his stomach when he saw the piece of cloth in David’s hand and realized that it could have been his head?

If we are going to overcome difficult people, we must want reconciliation (if possible) and not revenge.

If we really want reconciliation in a difficult relationship, we will get down to the truth of what happened and what is at the heart of the disagreement or wrongful action. (1 Sam 24:9-10; Eph 4:15)

1 Samuel 24:9–10 NLT

Ephesians 4:15 NLT

15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.

If we really want reconciliation in a difficult relationship, we will trust the Lord to make right what is wrong. (Gen 50:20; Rom 8:28; 1 Peter 5:7)

1 Samuel 24:12 NLT

12 “May the Lord judge between us. Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me, but I will never harm you.

Genesis 50:20 NLT

20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

Romans 8:28 NLT

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

1 Peter 5:7 NLT

7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Remember when things happen and people get hurt, we are to respond the heavenly way and not the Human or hellish way. (Rom 12:17-21)

God says – you are to take the high road, and overcome difficult people. Instead of rendering evil for evil (human level) chose the heavenly way and render good for evil and when you do, God will bless you for doing it right and taking the high road.

If we would just start treating people in a kind, good and godly way we may even see the most difficult people in our lives to begin getting their act together and start showering us with respect and love instead of with disrespect and difficulty.

4. Taking the High Road with difficult people requires living with integrity. (1 Samuel 24:16-22)

1 Samuel 24:16–22 NLT

16 When David had finished speaking, Saul called back, “Is that really you, my son David?” Then he began to cry. 17 And he said to David, “You are a better man than I am, for you have repaid me good for evil. 18 Yes, you have been amazingly kind to me today, for when the Lord put me in a place where you could have killed me, you didn’t do it. 19 Who else would let his enemy get away when he had him in his power? May the Lord reward you well for the kindness you have shown me today. 20 And now I realize that you are surely going to be king, and that the kingdom of Israel will flourish under your rule. 21 Now swear to me by the Lord that when that happens you will not kill my family and destroy my line of descendants!” 22 So David promised this to Saul with an oath. Then Saul went home, but David and his men went back to their stronghold.

We can know we are people of integrity when we do what the Lord wants us to do. (1 Sam 24:16-19

1 Samuel 24:16–19 NLT

David has done what the Lord wanted him to do – You can see in vv. 17-19 even his worst enemy, King Saul, knew that David was a righteous man – When even your enemies have to acknowledge that God is working, you know that you are where God has you.

We can know that we are person of integrity when we say that we are going to do…

As read on in following chapters. David did exactly what he promised KS he would do / took care of KS’s family. Saul however, did not keep his word. He was not a man of integrity.

We can only overcome difficult people and the hurts that they bring into our lives if we become men & women of integrity.

Wrap up

A quick note…

When others hurt us, we should not be surprised

When others hurt us, we should not become bitter or resentful.

When others hurt us, we should not try to play God by being revengeful.

The Lord will avenge us and reward us when we conquer evil by doing good. (Rom 12:17-21 Matt 5:10-12

Matthew 5:10–12 NLT

10 God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. 11 “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. 12 Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.

Romans 12:17–21 NLT

17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. 19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. 20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” 21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Bow for prayer

God loves little children, big sinners, our enemies and his enemies.

Martin Niemoller, while in Hitler’s prison, wrote:

“It took me a long time to learn that God was not the enemy of my enemies. He is not even the enemy of His enemies. He is a God of love, and that love extends to those who oppose Him and hate Him the most.”

Our refuge is not in a place or in a position, but in a person… Jesus Christ.

When David and his men were hiding in the caves he wrote some of the greatest psalms. One of them is Psa 142:5

Psalm 142:5 NLT

5 Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, “You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.