The Gift Of Limits

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Camp Meeting Today in Kids Room

Super Hero Genre Surpasing Your Limits

In that genre its usally really attractive to go beyond

but in real life there are consquenese for doing too much

Everyone has limits

Phyically /Social/ Emotional

usaully when a limit it surpassed there is blowback

sometime the blowback is your peace, your relationship with your kids, ypur marriage , your sleep

Regardless of bad we want to belive it We Are Not Limitless

Why we are covering this today because from here on out we are going to cover relationships with friends, family, dating, but someothing we should know how to is how to set boudaries with some of those people if the relationship becomes unhealthy

Me

Ex

I Thought I Could do it all.

When I first started pastoring i had boundarys in every area of my life besides the church

i gave my students and parents full access to me

id get calls and text at all hours of the night

i thought i enorder for me to pastor i had to always be avalible at anytime anywhere.

I found that there was no bibical bases for that

Transition: infact the bible acually gives us a framwork to establish boundaries and regonizes healthy and unheathly patterns

Question : Is there bibical backing for boundaries?

Question : What are the indications that boundary needs to be established?

Question : What Are the consequences for not setting up boundaries?

We

Boundaries Def: Boundaries in relationships are clear lines that define where one person ends and another begins. They help people understand what they are comfortable with and how they want to be treated by others. Boundaries can apply to many types of relationships, including romantic, platonic, familial, and work-based.

or

Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.

An unhealthy relationship is characterized by a pattern of behavior that can include a lack of respect, communication, or boundaries, as well as power imbalances, abuse, or other issues. Some signs of an unhealthy relationship include:

Controlling behavior Belittling Guilt-tripping Volatile reactions Emotional abuse Dishonesty Dependence

What the uncomforatble part?

we dont want to make others feel bad or the reapcution

we dont want to be left out

lack of boundaries usaully leads to disfunction/ We get used to our own disfuntion and we treat it as normal

EXample Going to a house with kids and its dirty/ This aint normal

Disfuction= Chaos

Wherever Chaos is Present In A Relationship ,Its Usaully A Sign That a Boundary Is Needed

The Goal For Tonight is to answer 3 questions :

God/You

Transistion: I want to examine two stories in the bible

Creation Story

Limits The God establishes:

“The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. And God said, “Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” And God made the expanse and separated the waters that were under the expanse from the waters that were above the expanse. And it was so. And God called the expanse Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day. And God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good.”

Genesis 1:2-10 ESV

Light and dark

Water from water

Dry land and water

If he didnt it wouldnt be a safe palce for us to live

Scientist will say if these percents where off by a percentage we wouldnt be able to live

God gives man limits

Genesis 2:16-17 New International Version (NIV)And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

Don’t eat from the tree

If im free why would you put a limit on me

The limit was for our protection./ He didnt want them to bear the weight of that/ Just like you would

God is a God of freedom, Boundaries help us be free

God Gives Man Freedom and a Limits

limits are not to take anything from us but they they are to protect us

Limits Are A Gift

if we can our perspective

Moses and Jertho

At Some point between the moses arrivall back in eygt and the the exit of eygpt moses sends his family away back to midian.

when crosses the red sea and is now pursuit to mount sinai he reunites with his family and father in law.

Moses brings the people of isreal out of eqypt , bible says it was about 500-600, 000 that only counted for the men, it was closer to 2.5-3 Million

Jethro says that eveything God and him are doing is amazing

the next day jethro goes to see what moses did daily

Exodus 18:13–23 “The next day Moses sat as judge for the people, while the people stood around him from morning until evening. When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, while all the people stand around you from morning until evening?” Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God. When they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make known to them the statutes and instructions of God.” Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. You will surely wear yourself out, both you and these people with you. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone.”

The bible says that he would sit down till them the instruction and statues of God from moring to evening every day.

Jethro says that this isnt good

moses was trying to do the job of 3 , Preach , teach and Judge

Moses Chose to bear the burden of uncomforbality

too many time instead of establishing or adknowloging our limitations we would rather make ourslves uncomforbatble or bare the weight of the chaos

instead of telling our parents that they are overbeearing, stubborrn, and not listening to what we have to say, or consider what your saying makes me fill a certain way and if you continue to act this way its going to effect our relationship. we would rather be quite let the disfunction continue stress our selevs out, get sick, be irrible. when it gets to made we avoid or ghost them.

Boundaries Can Help Protect And Sustain The Relationship

If Moses didnt follow what his father in said said he would have burned himself out and worn out the people

it wasnt good for everyone

God has Boundaries for himself

You shall have no other gods before Me.

You shall not make for yourself an idol.

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Honor your father and your mother.

You shall not murder.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

You shall not covet.

Transition: God gives these limits to a people he is able to enter into a coventnant ( agreement, relationship, marriage) with.

These people are about to have unpresented access to him than any nation ever has before

With More Access Comes More Responsiblity

To often we give people a high level of access to us with no level of responsiblity

treat me however you want , but you excpect me to get up out bed whenever you call or need something

there is nothing wrong with giving people acess to your heart , but that comes with resposibilty

The closest people in the world to me are my wife, family and friends , but if i down steward that relationship properply there conquesenses

usally that consequeces is limited access or an ajustment. even if it trempory

you cant have a bourdardary without a consqunce

a boundary without a consqunce is just a suggestion.

where sin increases the boundaries increase

If God sets limits on hisself and us what would make us think that we dont dont have to

i know some of this can be hard and difficult, but Gods plan isnt for you to live in relational chaos

This is not a escape method to weaponized to escape your reponsiblites

You cant control or change people , but you can control how you respond and people dont have right to run rampet in your life

We

What will this cost me to set healthy Boundaries with yourself and others?

Who are you when your in a healthy relationship

Who are you when your not in a healthy relationship?

There is a way to Love others well without losing the best of who we are