Show Me Your Friends | Proverbs 13:20

My Friends Won’t Affect Me | Proverbs 13:20

Illustration: Two 3rd graders (1 boy, 1 girl) stand where they are

Similar backgrounds (Sioux Falls, similar families, same age/background)

Person 1 = Good decisions, successful life

Person 2 = Bad decisions, life is a mess

What do you think will make the biggest difference between a successful life and a messy life?

Choices

Bible Reading

Church

Did you know that the biggest difference between these two and the way they live their lives will probably come down to who they choose to be their friends?

READ Prov 13:20 and have them learn/quote it

That verse essentially says that one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make is who your friends are.

The older you get, the more decisions you’ll have to make:

NOW (Practical) LATER SPIRITUAL

College Car Career

Where to live Church Who to marry

But of all the decisions you’re going to make, the people you surround yourself is as important as anything. Yet most people don’t think of choosing their friends that way.

Here’s why: you can’t hang out with people without their behavior affecting you. It’s called Social contagion. You pick up on the little things of the people you spend time around.

Illustration: Call 4 people up to the platform to form a line, but tell 3 of the 4 to stand backwards. The 4th will turn around as well.

This is how we are. We automatically start behaving like the people we spend most of our time around.

Illustration: Years ago scientists were trying to decide why fish swam in schools. They took one fish and did a partial lobotomy on it because they had isolated the part of the brain that caused the fish to swim in schools. They put the fish back in the water. He could still swim and he swam off not in a school but by himself. Do you what happened? The rest of the fish followed the one with half a brain.

We tend to act like the people we’re around. You might think that’s silly, but the Bible teaches the same thing.

Proverbs 13:20. “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

If you surround yourself with people that are wise, you’ll be wise.

If you surround yourself with fools, you’ll be destroyed.

You could say it like this:

I. Show Me Your Friends And I’ll Show You Your Future

Wise friends = wisdom. Foolish friends = destruction.

Experts say you’re the average of your 5 closest friends.

Think about your five closest friends. What are they like?

How do they speak?

What do they like to spend their time doing?

What kind of clothes do they wear?

What is the kind of attitude do they have?

Your friends are like a mirror. When you look at them, they give a picture of you.

If they obey their parents and have a good attitude toward them, that’s probably what you’re like.

If they’re rebellious and have a bad attitude, that’s probably you too.

Stop and think about your circle of friends.

If you’re walking with wise kids who do right, there’s a strong chance that’s where you’ll end up.

If you’re walking with friends doing wrong, it won’t be long for you.

Do you know what that means?

You’re one friend away:

From having a good attitude or a bad attitude.

From listening in church or not paying attention.

From saying bad words or using your speech to please God.

From working hard or being lazy.

From keeping your heart pure or watching things you shouldn’t be watching.

Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.

Does anyone know who wrote these words?

King Solomon.

Solomon was the wisest man who’s ever lived. God gave him lots of wisdom when he became king.

But the longer Solomon was a the king, he ignored God’s wisdom and started doing what he wanted instead.

And even though Solomon wrote Proverbs 13:20, he messed up with the people he surrounded himself with.

If Solomon couldn’t escape this truth, we can’t either. Your friends will make or break you.

II. Solomon’s friends determined His future. (1 Kings 11:1-2)

CALL FOUR PEOPLE UP

Solomon surrounded himself with people that didn’t love God.

In fact, they loved other gods. And if you read 1 Kings 11, you see a progression take place in his life:

1. His heart was turned from God.

The people he surrounded himself with affected his heart.

That’s what we learned about Tuesday - the importance of protecting your heart.

Once your heart turns, the rest of your life will follow.

The heart is like the game controller of our lives. We do what it says.

So Solomon’s heart was changed.

Proverbs 13:20. “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

It starts with your heart.

What was the next step for Solomon after his heart?

2. His behavior changed. (vs. 6a)

Once your heart changes, it changes how you act.

What’s inside shows up outside. Prov. 23:7, As a man “thinketh in his heart, so is he”

Your heart is revealed through words and actions.

If you do wrong things, it’s because you have a bad heart.

Some of you have friends that are affecting your heart, and your actions are about to follow.

You’re a Companion of fools.

Proverbs 13:20. “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

What happened next to Solomon?

Vs. 6 says, he “went not fully after the Lord, as did David his father.”

3. He missed out on God’s best. (vs. 6b)

Once your heart and behavior change, you will miss out on what God wants for you.

If you’re in the wrong place you’re not in the right place. You can’t be two places at once.

God has incredible plans for each of us. You could say God intends for us to live life at a level 10 – the best life.

But show me your friends and I’ll show you future. If a 10 is the life God intends you to live and you’re a companion of fools, get ready for a 2.

Solomon “went not fully after the Lord.” He settled for less. That’s what a companion of fools does.

Proverbs 13:20. “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

So #1 Solomon’s heart changed, #2 His behavior changed, #3 He settled for less than God’s best, and #4

4. God judged him for it.

Vs. 9 – “And the Lord was angry with Solomon.”

Can you imagine having God be angry with you because of your choices?

That was Solomon. And God judged Him big time.

God removed most of the kingdom from Solomon.

God caused Solomon’s enemies to be a big problem for him.

The most important moment of your life will be when you stand before God.

You’ll answer for how you lived your life.

And if you choose bad friends, you won’t like how God judges you.

But how did all this start for Solomon? Where did it all go wrong?

(Before his heart was turned) COMPANIONS

ALL OF THIS BAD STUFF FOR SOLOMON STARTED WHEN HE SURROUNDED HIMSELF WITH THE WRONG KIND OF PEOPLE.

Solomon was the wisest man on earth, and he couldn’t escape this truth he wrote about.

Guess who else won’t escape it? You and me.

Illustration: (NEED 1 VOLUNTEER)

Bad Friends Bag: Fill one bag with apples, drop one piece (YOU) into bag with vinegar and shake up, then have a kid eat

Good Friends Bag: Fill one bag with apples, drop one piece (YOU) into bag with sugar and shake up, then have a kid eat

III. Some of you are being impacted by fools

Fools: (HOLDING BAD APPLE BAG)

The ones who have a bad attitude toward their parents.

The ones who cheat on their tests at school.

The ones who play with toys during church rather than listening.

The ones who use bad words when adults aren’t around.

The ones who tell dirty jokes to their friends.

The ones who watch things they shouldn’t.

They ones who talk bad about other people.

And you think, “They won’t affect me. I’ll help them.”

No, you won’t! (HOLD UP BAD APPLE BAG)

It’s the companion of fools that gets destroyed.

Stop walking with the fools. You need to…

Walk with the Wise: (HOLDING GOOD APPLE BAG)

The ones who respect and honor their parents.

The ones who obey their teachers and have a good attitue.

The ones that work hard rather than cheating.

The ones who won’t say anything negative about other people.

The ones who stay in church and take it seriously.

The ones who read their Bibles.

The ones that are careful about what they watch and listen to.

Who don’t do questionable things on their phones.

Proverbs 13:20, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed?”

I kind of wonder if Solomon was thinking about his own life when he wrote those words.

This happened to him. And if you’re not careful, it can happen to you to.

It all depends on who you friends are.

Two more applications:

1. Some of you are the bad friend.

You’re the one influencing others to cuss, gossip, disobey, watch bad things, lie, and steal.

Shame on you. Refuse to be the one that takes others down with you.

2. The best friend you can have is named Jesus.

Proverbs 18:24 “There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

You know who that’s talking about? God.

He wants to be your friend.

You talk about making a wise friend. No friend will help you like Jesus can. And no friend will stick closer to you than Jesus.

How do you make friends with Jesus?

Sometimes it’s hard to make friends. But not with Jesus.

All He asks is that you admit you’re a sinner.

That you recognize that He died for your sin.

Then ask Him to forgive you and believe that His death on the cross is enough to save you.

Then spend every day walking and talking with Him in prayer and Bible reading. Just like friends.

Then spend eternity with Him in Heaven. Enjoying forever as friends.

Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.

Does anyone in here need to ask God to help them choose some better friends?

Maybe you want to ask God to help you in the future as you choose your friends.

Maybe you need to meet the best Friend a person could ever have - Jesus.

Do you know Him?

Would you like to?