Training a Child

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

This verse is a conditional verse in the Bible. What do I mean?

The verse should be understood as saying this: “If you train a child in the way he should go: Then, when he is old (later in life), he will not depart from it.”

The conditional part is if you. If you train a child in the way he should go, God has made you a promise, but training a child in the way he should go does not end with you bringing that child to church.

Do you know why we have so many who were raised in church to depart the faith as they get older? They were not trained correctly. Their training rested entirely with the church, and that will not work. The church cannot fulfill the role of a parent to a child.

A child’s training or upbringing, especially a child belonging to Christian parents, should be based upon God’s Word, and it is the parents responsibility, primarily, to provide that training, but the church also plays a role, especially if we have children come to church whose parents are lost as a goose.

The Bible teaches us how children are to be trained, and if you deviate from God’s Word to train your child in the ways of the world instead of God’s way, you expose your child to the lies of the devil.

Don’t get me wrong. Each person is responsible for his or her decision regarding Christ, but many times, the decision that child eventually makes is made based upon how he or she was raised. That is what Solomon is telling us. If you and I train our children like God says they are to be trained, they will not depart, later in life, from what they have been taught.

This morning, briefly, we are going to look at how a biblical upbringing for a child is to look.

1. We are to teach our children to put God first.

We are to set the example before our children that God comes first that God comes before anything else.

While on earth, Jesus Christ said the greatest commandment was to have the right approach toward God.

Matthew 22:37–38 “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.”

Parents and church, we are to train our children that every decision we make is based upon our love for God and upon our placing ourselves in submission to God’s will.

Jesus teaches us that all things should be grounded in our love for God. Every decision we make should be guided by God, and that decision being placed in the hands of God is only made possible by loving Him with all of our hearts, souls, and minds.

We are teach that by example to our children. Do not expect your child to put God first if you do not put God first.

Many times, parents wring their hands over the condition of their adult child. Well, dear friend, the hand wringing and knee-bending should have begun when that baby was born, and it should have begun with you giving God the right place in your life and keeping Him there.

That’s the example your children need to see. Instead, many of children see us only thinking about God when we need Him to get out of a situation and an emergency. We train our children that God is like a 911 call. Call God for emergencies. If that is your approach to raising your child or children, you are not training them in the way they should go.

2. We are to teach our children God’s order in the home.

I am going to keep this brief. This will be the segue for a future episode.

God has an established order he expects to be followed in the home.

If I asked you who should come first in the home, everyone would say who? __________.

Who should come after God? Most will say their children, but that is not God’s established order.

According to God’s Word, the established order in the home should be:

(1) God/God’s Word/Church

(2) Spouse

(3) Children

The entire order is based upon submission.

Too many times, our children are placed above everything else, and that has damaged the home and the church. Did you know people go from church to church based upon the activities a particular church has for their children? I am telling you that is a great example to set before your children.

Husbands place children above God and their wives, and marriages suffer, and their relationship with God suffers. Wives place their babies before their husbands, and the marriage suffers.

I am going to share just a few verses that explain God’s order.

Genesis 2:23–24 “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Ephesians 5:25–28 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing;

but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”

Ephesians 5:22–24 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 6:1–3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

That’s it. A husband and wife are to be one in God which means they should be single-minded regarding God. The husband is to be submissive for the wife as Christ was submissive for the church even to the point of death.

The wife is supposed to be submissive to the husband’s authority in the home which also means husbands you are to exercise the authority God has given you. Too many men are wimps not claiming the authority God has given them in the home.

Children have no authority in the home. They are to be submissive to both parents. Submission does not mean inferiority. It just means following God’s established order. I will offer this.

I say that there would be many more souls saved if God’s order were followed in the home. I have no statistical data to back me. I just have a hunch that’s the case.

3. We are to teach our children what God expects from men and women in the home.

Deuteronomy 22:5 “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.”

You are to teach your children this truth. Men are to be men, and women are to be women.

God created gender. He created male and female.

God has different expectations for men and women, and you are to teach your child that truth.

Men are to teach boys to be the scriptural authority and spiritual leader in the home.****

Men are to teach boys to provide for their families by working.****

Men are to teach boys to respect authority.

Men are to teach boys how to treat women.

Men are supposed to be the disciplinarian in the home.

Women are supposed to teach children how to be loving and caring.

Women are to teach their daughters how to act and to become godly women.

Women are to treat daughters to dress modestly.*****

Mothers are supposed to teach young ladies how to dress, and if mothers will not do it, it falls upon the ladies of the church. I will go ahead and tell you this. Girls do not need to wear something that reveals more than it covers. AMEN?

I cannot believe how some mothers allow their daughters to dress, even supposedly Christian mothers.

You see a mother and daughter out in public, and the mother is allowing her teenage daughter to wear shorts so short that there is really no need in even having any shorts on. A daughter wearing shorts like that in public has been let down by both her parents.

Shame on the mother for allowing it. Deep down, I think many mothers allow it because they really want to out in public dressed like they allow their daughters to dress. Young ladies go out in public looking like poster children for the red-light district, and their mothers allow it, and in most cases, bought their outfits.

There are two passages I would like to share.

Exodus 11:7b “that ye may know how that the Lord doth put a difference between the Egyptians and Israel.”

1 Timothy 2:9 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;”

Egypt represents the sinful lifestyle, and Moses tells the people that there should be a difference between God’s people and those of the world, and Paul says that women in the church should dress modestly setting the example for the young ladies and girls as how to dress.

Mothers you control what your daughter wears. You have a responsibility to teach her and show her how she should dress, and if you do not, you are leaving her vulnerable to who knows what.

4. We are to teach our children to find a Christian to date and eventually marry.

2 Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

Parents, you should not allow, while they are living under your roof, your Christian son or daughter to date someone who is lost, and Christian young ladies and gentlemen, you should not want to go out with someone who is not a Christian anyway.

Parents you have the responsibility to teach that. Kelly should direct Ali to a Christian BOY but not too soon and not until Marty Goff, Bruce, and Shayne have had a chance to interrogate that joker.

The same holds true for Jessica with Lexi and Kim with Kaitlyn.

Why is it a parent’s responsibility to guide children in choosing a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Because hormones are rarely effective in helping one to make the right choice. Just ask Samson.

Can I ask you a question?

Is divorce a problem in our nation and in the church? Do you think it is possible that the leading cause of divorce, especially in the church, is parents not teaching children in the way they should go regarding being unequally yoked?

Do you know when you start teaching your child about being unequally yoked? As soon as he or she is old enough to start thinking about the opposite sex.

Conclusion:

Parents are to train their children to be godly. It is a 24-hour, 7 days a week responsibility that has eternal rewards. Parents, and we in the church, are to set the right kind of example for our children.

It takes an entire Christian village to teach children in the church the way they should go. You and I need to own our responsibility to do so. Parents, it is not too late to commit yourself to God on behalf of your children.

Let me ask you this. Is your child’s eternal destiny important enough to you for you to teach him or her they way he or she should go? Do you ever talk about scriptural truth to your child? Do you ever discuss spirituality with your child?

If you do not, how could you possibly think that you are teaching that child the way he or she should go?