Untitled Sermon (2)

I want to do three things with you today that will help us understand, apart from the obvious, why we are here in this place right now. I want to mark this moment, remember Tracy, and care for those left to grieve.

The first thing let’s mark this moment:

Today we have set aside time to focus our attention on the fact that Tracy no longer physical present with us. Yesterday, we could sit and talk, hold hands, and hug, but today we cannot, …and will not ever again! This is a moment of transition from when she was with us to when she is not. It is an activity that punctuates in our minds the before and after. There is no longer any ambiguity of whether she will come back to work, or join her brothers and father on holiday, or if we will have one more conversation. There is finality in the moment.

But as much as this is the end of her with us, for her, it is also the beginning of eternity. As Tracy recognized that here final days were looming, while giving direction to Paul, Jenna-Mae, Alex and Jordan, she also began to listen more to what the Bible and Reverand Gethin Edwards had to say. Over the last few weeks of her life, she invited me to send her words of encouragement from the Bible. These are some of the words I sent to her:

Isaiah 43:2, which says,

2 When you go through deep waters,

I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

you will not be burned up;

the flames will not consume you.

And Isaiah 40:29-31, which says,

29 He gives power to the weak

and strength to the powerless.

30 Even youths will become weak and tired,

and young men will fall in exhaustion.

31 But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint.

And ‭1 Peter 1:6, which says,‬‬‬

6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.

So we mark a very somber moment, but she is marking a very different moment, because these verses told her that her troubles would have an end and that there was a peace and calm awaiting her. Dare I say a joy like she could never imagine.

Apart from this funeral service, each of us will mark her passing in different ways. Some will donate to a sports scholarship program in her name (I hope you will), some will donate to a school fundraiser, some will make food for her family, others will take up her cause for childhood education, and some will lead a project to build a new basketball court in her name. The students and teachers of West Kent Elementary marked her passing with an amazing video tribute. Even the provincial government marked her passing by lowering their flags to half mast. Whatever you do today, big or small, make it a personal and mark the moment in a way that helps you.

The second thing I want to do with you is remember Tracy:

I grew up with Tracy. We were born over seas to a military father and we travelled all across this country seeing things in the world that many only read about in books. But with every move, we were also the new kids, and this shaped who Tracy was. As the quintessential peacemaking middle child, she developed a compassion for anyone on the fringe: The new kid, the underprivileged kid, the international student, the shy or troubled kid. If there was a bully on the playground, they heard it from her! Justice was a high priority for her. I recall walking to school one day shortly after we had moved to Inuvik where it seemed to be the custom in town that the new kids are bullied to see what they were made of. I had been harassed once already while on the way to school, but this day, Tracy was with me. About three kids began to target me again. This did not last long, because Tracy was having nothing of it. She laid a tongue lashing and couple of threats upon them and that was the end of that.

I was never bothered again.

Where she saw injustice, she was compelled to fight for the underdog. I loved hearing her talk about the underprivileged kids in the schools she worked in and what she and her staff were doing to help them. All she ever wanted was opportunity for every kid to be treated fairly and have good opportunities.

Growing up Tracy, Rodney and I were taught the value of family. It was instilled in us by our Mom and Dad, our aunts and uncles and cousins through the family gatherings that took place during holidays. Whether it was Tabusintac Old Home Week or Christmas at Eilene’s, space to accommodate everyone did not limit how many people were gathered for dinner or the night. And the conversations were long, heartfelt and often went well into the wee hours of the morning.

As Tracy, Rodney and I began our careers, we did not spend as much time together as we would have liked, but we all prioritized family and always reconnected on the telephone and during family holidays. Our conversations were always about family: Immediate family and extended family. We talked about their successes, challenges, failures, hopes, and dreams, and encouraged one another to be better parents.

Tracy, Rodney and I were fiercely proud of one another. While she thought my galivanting across the globe was service to be recognized, Rodney and I envied and bragged about her fierce competitiveness and talent whenever we had the chance, or someone would listen. I’m pretty sure that Tracy and Jenna-Mae have fans around the world today because of my bragging.

I remember our first day in our new High School in Chatham, New Brunswick. We were standing in the foyer waiting to receive our classroom assignments when we each received a tap on the shoulder from the male and female gym teachers. The question was the same: “Hey you are tall; do you want to play basketball?” Tracy accepted the opportunity and began to build here talent for field hockey, soccer and basketball from that moment on. I muttered something about not being able to walk and chew gum at the same time and was never bothered by the gym teacher again.

That’s a little bit of how I remember Tracy, and, in a moment, Doris is going to share some of her thoughts about her. I am certain you all have some good memories too, and I really hope that you will keep those memories alive. Tell your stories to one another. Brag about her: How good she was at everything she put her hand to, or how much she inspired your child in school or sport, or how kind she was to strangers. Tell these stories like a sailor tells stories of his exploits in a far away port: That is to say, don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story. These are the stories and memories that will remind us of what we have lost today. They will keep her life and legacy alive. They will divide our sorrows and multiply our joy for having known her. Remember Tracy and keep the stories going.

The last thing I want to do with you is help us care for one another as those still left behind in grief.

So today, we are grieving collectively by marking this moment with some words, songs, traditions, and remembering Tracy. After today, we will be left alone to grieve individually. For some, this will be a very difficult journey.

- Dad, Howard, has lost a daughter, against the natural order of things.

- Rodney and I have lost a sister that we wanted to grow old together with, and with whom we wanted to share pictures and stories of our children and grandchildren.

- Paul has lost a life partner of 30 years; where once he had a partner in every decision and activity in their lives, he is now navigating life solo again.

- Alex, Jenna-Mae, and Jordan have lost a mother before they have finished asking her all the questions they need or want to ask; or before she could be their “mother of the bride or groom”, or hold a grandchild for the first time.

- The education community of Prince Edward Island has lost a champion of children and exceptional leader.

- The sports and recreation community of Prince Edward Island has lost a player, coach, cheerleader and advocate of incredible talent and passion.

Each of us will quietly grieve in our own way. Remember that the ways in which we grieve are not wrong.

Please support one another as you go out from here.

Listen when someone is sharing a memory.

Be patient with those closest to Tracy as they will take the longest to feel like they can carry on with life again – sometimes years.

Keep sharing your memories.

Let the tears flow.

Let those around you weep and sit quietly with them as they do. Remember that sometimes presence is more powerful than any words you may conjure up. The silence is OK.

Lean into all these moments and as the days turn into weeks, and weeks into months and the months into years, the pain will become more manageable, and I assure you, it will become easier to embrace the joy of having knowns Tracy.