ONE

**Big Idea:** Singleness is a viable and valued way of life within the body of Christ. It is not “Plan B,” but a unique calling that brings its own opportunities for growth and service.

Introduction

Good morning, Church. Today, we continue our series, "Family Portrait," where we explore the Biblical model for the family and its individual parts. Today’s focus is on singleness. This topic has been a challenging one to prepare for, as it required me to confront and correct some skewed perceptions I had about being single.

Singleness is often misunderstood, both within the church and in society. Some view it as a temporary state, merely a waiting period until marriage. Others see it as a second-best option, a fallback plan when marriage doesn't happen. But the Bible gives us a different perspective. Singleness is a viable, valuable, and honorable way of life. It’s not “Plan B.”

1. The legitimate calling of Singleness in the Body of Christ.

Let’s start by establishing a foundational truth: singleness is a legitimate and blessed state within the body of Christ. Christianity may very well be the first religion to uphold singleness in such a positive way.

[Lisa’s frustrations in a church, but says now that she’s gotten older and more confident it who she is]

Marriage and Children Are Not the Ultimate Goal

- Our ultimate goal is not marriage or having children but living a life that glorifies God and prepares us for Heaven. In Matthew 22:30, Jesus tells us that in the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage.

Heaven is the Goal

- Our earthly relationships are important, but they are temporary. Our eternal relationship with God is our ultimate goal.

No Hierarchy Within the Body

- Galatians 3:28 says, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Within the body of Christ, there are no higher or lesser roles. We are all on the same level and we are all valued and loved equally.

2. Paul offers some wisdom with what he says about the benefits of being single.

Now, let’s turn to 1 Corinthians 7, where the apostle Paul gives us some wonderful teachings on singleness.

1 Corinthians (4) Concerning the Virgins (7:25–40)

the view most widely held among recent commentators is that Paul is speaking to engaged couples in 7:25–38. The term “virgin” may be shorthand for “betrothed virgin.”317 This view is conveyed by the NIV translation of 7:36, “If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.”

Singleness in Times of Crisis (Verses 25-28)**

1 Corinthians 7:25–28 NIV

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

Crisis? Present or Future

1 Corinthians (4) Concerning the Virgins (7:25–40)

In recent scholarship, there is a tendency to take a both/and approach to the question of the “present crisis.” Garland, for example, states, “It is most likely that he has in view a present crisis (perhaps the famine) interpreted as an end-time event.”

- What ever the case Singleness can provide a level of freedom and flexibility to respond to crises that marriage might not.

The Shortness of Time (Verses 29-31)

1 Corinthians 7:29–31 NIV

What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

- Singleness is good because time is short. Paul reminds us that “the time is short” and that our focus should be on the eternal, not the temporal. This world is passing away, and our hope should be placed in the New Heaven and New Earth.

Advantages of Singleness (Verses 32-35)

1 Corinthians 7:29–31 NIV

What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

- Singleness has its advantages. Paul points out that unmarried individuals can focus more on pleasing the Lord, while married individuals must also be concerned with pleasing their spouse.

3. What can be said to those who are single who do not feel like this may be their calling.

Timothy Keller, in his book "The Meaning of Marriage," offers valuable counsel to singles that I want to share with you:

Recognize Seasons for Not Seeking Marriage

- Beware of marriage idolatry—those who always need to “have somebody.” There are seasons where being single can be more fruitful for personal growth and ministry.

Understand the Gift of Singleness

- In 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul talks about singleness as a gift. It’s an ability God gives to build others up. Singleness is not a condition without struggle, nor is it a state of misery. It’s a state of fruitfulness in life and ministry.

Avoid Deep Emotional Involvement with Non-Believers

- This can lead to significant spiritual and emotional conflicts.

Feel Attraction Comprehensively

- Attraction is more than just physical appearance; it includes character, mission, and the future self.

Maintain Emotional Boundaries

- Don’t let things get too passionate too quickly. Dating has evolved into a series of entertainment venues and sexual encounters, leading to cohabitation without commitment. This is contrary to the Biblical model of marriage.

4. The church must not forget to care for those who experience singleness by way of divorce or who are widowed.

It’s important to acknowledge those who are single not by choice but by circumstance, whether through the death of a spouse or the pain of divorce. These forms of singleness carry unique challenges and opportunities for growth.

Support for the Widowed

- Grieving is a process that takes time, and the church community should be a source of comfort and support. Psalm 68:5 says, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." God has a special concern for widows and promises to be their defender. Widowhood can be a time to draw closer to God and find new purposes and ways to serve.

James 1:27 NIV

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Healing for the Divorced

- Divorce can feel like a failure or a mark of shame, but remember that God's grace covers all pain and sin. Romans 8:1 reminds us, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." This season can be a time for healing, personal growth, and finding new ways to contribute to the church community.

5. Regardless of your marital status the church family needs you and you need it.

Whether single by choice or circumstance, every individual is an integral part of the church family. The church is not just a collection of families but a family in itself, a community where everyone belongs and is valued.

[Lisa] I'm now in a healthier church family that doesn't treat me like the woman at the well or the leper

The Church as a Support System**

- In Acts 2:44-47, we see the early church sharing everything in common and supporting one another. This is the model we strive to emulate today. Whether you are single, married, widowed, or divorced, the church is here to support you, to walk with you, and to share in your joys and struggles.

Serving Together**

- Each person has unique gifts and callings, and the church flourishes when everyone contributes. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul describes the church as one body with many parts. Every part is essential, and when one part suffers, every part suffers with it; when one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Building Deep Relationships**

- Being single does not mean being alone. The church is a place where deep, meaningful relationships can be built. Friendships, mentorships, and spiritual family bonds are vital aspects of church life. Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

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Conclusion

1 Corinthians 7:17 (NIV) says, “Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.”

In whatever state you find yourself—single by choice, by circumstance, or in anticipation of future changes—live as a believer, trusting in God’s plan for your life. Singleness is not a lesser state but a unique calling and opportunity to grow in your faith and service to others.

Let us embrace and support our single brothers and sisters, recognizing their unique contributions and the special place they hold in the family of God. Amen.