The Purpose of Marriage - Artem & Anna

What’s the Point of Marriage?

Author Heather Havrilesky recently wrote in an article titled “Is Marriage Obsolete?”:

Isn’t it reasonable to question the value of a legal contract, written in ink, on paper, that involves disastrously punitive forms of dissolution? … Particularly when it’s paired with an enormously expensive ceremony that often includes allusions to obedience and lifelong mutual suffering and death, of all things? … And (there are) a host of inconveniences to being married, along with untold drudgery, monotony, frustration, and regret. … Considering all that, what could possibly be the point of this outdated charade?

But she answers these question this way:

So why do I love this torturous state of affairs so much? The daily companionship, the shared household costs, and the tax breaks are not enough. ... (It is) because some of the peak moments of a marriage are when you share your anxieties, your fears, your longing, and even your horrors. … That’s why sickness and death are key to marriage vows. Because there is nothing more divine than being able to say, “Today, I am really, truly at my worst,” knowing that it won’t make your spouse run for the hills. My husband has seen my worst before. We both know that our worst is likely to get worse from here. Somehow that feels like grace.

Source: Heather Havrilesky, “Is Marriage Obsolete?” The Cut, New York Magazine (3-31-19)

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, NKJV)

God’s Original Intention for Marriage: Paradise Formed

When paradise was formed, God crowned his acts of creation by creating Adam and Eve so they might experience oneness… complete harmony, and display the character of God. There was a need to reveal God’s character. Scripture tells us that the peace that existed in the universe was marred by a rebellion that broke out in heaven. Therefore, Adam and Eve were to be a living testimony that God is good and can be trusted. However, God’s original plan for the first couple was interrupted by the devising of that old serpent called the dragon and Satan.

The Enemies’ Plan for Marriage: Paradise Lost

When Satan seduced Eve into eating the forbidden fruit, and influencing Adam to eat of the same fruit, human nature became corrupted. The oneness mentioned in Gen 2:24 was broken. The proof of that corruption was evidenced by Adam and Eve’s response when questioned by God about what they had done. After admitting to God that he was naked, God asked Adam, “[ . . . ] ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?’” (Genesis 3:11, NKJV) Listen to Adam’s response:

“The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:12, NKJV) This tells us that humanity had become infected with the disease of blaming others and refusing to take responsibility for one’s actions. Eve’s response is similar to Adam’s when she was questioned by God, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:13, NKJV) In other words, the serpent that you made, God, deceived me. All of these occurrences were indications of the painful realization of paradise lost. As such, Artem, Anna, in your marriage their will be a tendency to blame one another for mishaps and mistakes, it’s human nature, be aware of this and reject this miserable character trait. Furthermore, when Eve gave the fruit to Adam, it was as though she was taking charge, even though God had created Adam first. Thus Anna, there is a tendency for the woman to take charge. You know the joke, “We know who wears the pants in that home.” Don’t’ ever let that be said of your home. Remember, marriage is a partnership. Eve was taken out of Adam’s side, not his feet, and not his head. Because of sin, your partnership will be threatened by internal and external forces, be aware of that too!

Artem, the litany of stories of dead-beat dads, and men who refuse to take responsibility finds its root in Adam’s sin. Did you know that God appointed hard working conditions for Adam sake? “[ . . . ] Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’: “Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it All the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, And you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you are, And to dust you shall return.”” (Genesis 3:16–19, NKJV). Artem, men have a tendency to become complacent, it may not be about work, it may be about your wife, and you may slip into taking her for granted as the years roll by. Be aware of this, resist this through prayer and action! Complacency may affect your walk with God; it may be about other things. You will have to work hard to resist these tendencies, you will have to spend much time on your knees in prayer, but it will be well worth it.

The Restoration of God’s Original Intention for Marriage: Paradise Restored

Understand that although Satan interrupted God’s original plan for marriage, notice that I didn’t say spoiled, but interrupted. Artem, Anna, as you journey together in your new life together, you will have the privilege of rediscovering what Adam and Eve lost–oneness, perfect unity. As you put God first and each other above yourselves, you will grow closer and closer. Listen to one of the greatest promises in the Bible:

““I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.” (John 17:20–23, NKJV)

This is Jesus’s ultimate goal for your marriage–oneness. All of heaven is on your side, and all of heaven’s resources are being expended to help you experience oneness in your marriage.

Charges and Vows

Inasmuch as you, (Groom), and you, (Bride), have come here to be united in the holy bonds of wedlock, you may now signify your desire to be so united by the joining of your right hands.

(Groom), do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?

The bridegroom answers: I do.

Do you solemnly promise before God and these witnesses that you will love, honor, and cherish her in sickness and in health, in prosperity or in adversity, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her so long as you both shall live?

The bridegroom answers:I do.

(Bride), do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?

The bride answers:I do.

Do you solemnly promise before God and these witnesses that you will love, honor, and cherish him, in sickness and in health, in prosperity or in adversity, and, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him so long as you both shall live?

The bride answers: I do.

[Lighting Unity Candle . . . ]?

[After Exchange of Rings & Signing Ceremony] Since you have before these witnesses solemnly made mutual pledges of affection and vows of fidelity by exchanging rings,

As a minister of the gospel, by the authority of God’s word, I do hereby pronounce you husband and wife. What, therefore, God has joined together, let no one separate. You may now kiss your bride.

Prayer, and the benediction:

"The Lord bless you and keep you: The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you: The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace," now and evermore. Amen. (Num. 6:24, R.S.V.)