Colossians 3:18-4:1 - Authority: Marriage

By the authority vested in me by the state of Florida, I now pronounce you…man and wife.

…by the authority...

What is authority?

DEFINITION: the right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience

God wants us to understand authority....

What we believe about God is seen by the way we honor and steward authority

Colossians says this about JESUS and AUTHORITY

Jesus created all authorities

Colossians 1:16 ESV

16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.

Jesus is the HEAD of all rule and authority

Colossians 2:9–10 ESV

9 For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, 10 and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority.

Jesus DISARMED all EVIL authorities

Colossians 2:13–15 ESV

13 And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14 by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. 15 He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

…The authority structure of this world has been broken by sin...

The Fall of man

Physical consequences

Spiritual consequences

What we need to take from this is that the spiritual realm cannot be separated from the physical/relational realm. What we do in our lives comes with consequence...

physical

relational

AND spiritual

Paul gives application to three different areas where we need to properly honor the authority we’re under and the authority we’re given. What we believe about God is seen by the way we honor and steward authority

Husband / Wife

Fathers / Children

Employer / Employee

We are called to operate in all of these relationships under the authority of Lord Jesus.

As Col 3:17 says...

Colossians 3:17 ESV

17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

EVERYTHING WE DO should be done in the name of LORD JESUS.

That is treating the one in authority over us or the one under our authority according to what Jesus has done in us.

The focus in the actions and even in our THOUGHTS toward these relationships is not to be on what we think the other person deserves BUT according to the nature of Jesus…let the LORD handle the wrongdoer…the Lord is not partial in administering discipline

Colossians 3:25 ESV

25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.

What we believe about God is seen by the way we honor and steward authority

HOME

HOME: MARRIAGE

Colossians 3:18 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Wives: It is fitting to the Lord that you be under the authority of your husbands

Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

As a picture of Christ and the Church

1 Peter 3:1–6 ESV

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

As a testimony to your husband

husband who may be...

still learning

OR disobedient Christian

OR unbeliever!

v1 - that they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives!

Submitting to the authority God has set up over your good as a wife, gives the LORD space to work on His heart.

James Slaughter from Dallas Theological says...

1, 2 Peter, Jude (3) Wives, Submit to Husbands (3:1–6)

that wives do not submit in order to satisfy a husband’s vanity or to promote his reputation. Neither do they submit to show how godly they are, nor to avoid conflict, nor to impress the neighbors, nor to manipulate their husbands, and not even because she thinks he is wise. She submits because of her relationship with and trust in God.

While wives are called to honor the authority of their husbands,

Husbands are called to steward this authority according to Christ.

Colossians 3:19 ESV

19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Love your wives

Do not be harsh with them

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

You may remember from our time in 1 Peter, my argument here regarding the “weaker vessel” was primarily with regard to a woman’s weakness in culture. Women in that context had fewer rights and were even simply expected to take on the religious beliefs of their husband.

In that context, the call here is similar to what was told to wives…it is about allowing the Lord to work in her heart rather than forcing religious obedience…so,

show her honor by...

Living in a way that understands what she is facing day in and day out and allowing the Lord to shape and mold her heart.

Take note of the powerful warning here to husbands is, if you are unloving and harsh toward your wife…this actually hinders your prayer life!

Ephesians describes further what loving your wife should look like...

Ephesians 5:25–31 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Christ is the head of the Church (23a)

Christ is the Savior of the Church (23b)

Christ loved the Church (24)

Christ gave himself up for the Church (24)

Christ purified the Church (26-27)

Christ presents the Church (27)

Christ nourishes the Church (29)

Christ cherishes the Church (29)

Husband, take responsibility for your marriage

Husband, lead your wife

Husband, love your wife

Husband, give up yourself for your wife

Husband, pursue holiness with your wife

Husband, brag on your wife

Husband, nourish and cherish your wife as Christ did the church

Husbands, we’ve been given authority in your marriage that the love of Christ would be on display for the world around you to see...

I know we’re not perfect in this…we all fall short, but this should be our aim to lay ourselves down for our bride.

GO WITH THIS...

Marriage was created by God to be a picture of Christ and the Church

Because we fall short in so many ways, God uses marriage to sanctify the husband and wife

But It is a beautiful thing when a marriage is operating under the name and authority of Lord Jesus

What we believe about God is seen by the way we honor and steward authority

God has called husbands to steward authority in their marriages and wives to honor that authority

Maybe you’re single and wondering what authority in marriage has to do with you? I’m glad you asked, I want to say a few things...

If you’re single, you MIGHT desire marriage…

hopefully this message makes plain to you that you need to start being the person you need to be to bless your marriage. Walk with integrity, pray for the Lord’s direction in your life, live in holiness…become more like Jesus.

Marriage is sometimes fantasized as a solution to our dissatisfaction with life, but marriage will not solve your problems. This is a fallacy that distracts us from pursuing Christ before marriage.

If you’re single and you are content in that…well, honestly, there’s a good chance you know what the Lord wants from you.

Pray for your married friends.

Be a blessing to the Church which is the bride of Christ

We live in a world of broken authority and we are to blame…we are sinners in need of a Savior

Our God gave His life on the cross to pay the penalty we deserve

Because of these we can have eternal life by believing His death and only his death has paid the penalty for our sin and entrusting our lives to Him

The Church is assembly of believers who have done this...

HOME: CHILDREN

Colossians 3:20–21 ESV

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Ephesians 6:1–4 ESV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

HURTS & HOPES

Hurt from the way you were raised

HOPE that you can do better

WORK

Colossians 3:22 ESV

22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.

Colossians 4:1 ESV

1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

Ephesians 6:5–9 ESV

5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

1 Peter 2:18–21 ESV

18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. 19 For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. 21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.