From Independence to God-dependence

Introduction

Today we’re going to take a look at a story about a son from a dysfunctional family. His name is Jacob, which means “heel-grabber”—sort of like today when we say someone’s pulling your leg. Leg pulling is more or less harmless pranks. Heel grabbing, is deceptive, trying to put others down so you can get ahead. He got his name because this is what he was doing as he came out of the womb. Rebekah, Jacob’s mother, was told that the older would serve the younger.

Genesis 25:23 “And the Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.””

Every Christian family has some blessings in it. Psalm 144:15 “Blessed are the people to whom such blessings fall! Blessed are the people whose God is the Lord!” Such was my family growing up. My parents all went to church. My grandmother always made sure to always help me memorize my Bible verses for Awana. Nanny and Papaw, as we called them, were always in church. Nan was in church even when she was feeling her worst battling cancer. Papaw was always in church and is still frequently in church working on the facilities. He practically built the fellowship hall at his last church by himself. My grandmother taught me devotion and my grandfather taught me hard work.

But even though Jacob and Esau’s family is the family of promise—the family God chose—there’s still some dysfunction.

From the start, Jacob sets out to go against tradition to get what should belong to his older brother. Jacob was the quiet, conniving kid, who’s quiet because he’s plotting on how to get ahead. One day, Esau comes in from the field exhausted. He’s not too concerned with his birthright (the text says he despised it) and he gives it up for a bowl of stew. (Gen. 25:29-34)

God interrupts the rising tension between these brothers and reaffirms his promise to Isaac. This is something that I found astounding about God: his absolute faithfulness in the middle of our messes and dysfunction. God promises to be faithful to Isaac and give him the land and multiply his offspring. He also gives that unique promise that, “In your offspring all the nations of the earth shall be blessed.” (Gen. 26:4; cf. vv. 1-5)

Right after God promises to be faithful, Isaac is not. He does almost the exact same thing his dad (Abraham) does all the time and tells a leader that his wife is his sister (to save his own skin). He then has some quarrels with locals over water rights (what I like to call “well wars”) which is settled with an oath for peace. Then the text mentions Esau’s wives that made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah. This is a pretty dysfunctional family.

My family growing up had some dysfunction as well. My parents divorced when I was in first grade. Most of you have experienced the pain that divorce brings with it, a family sort of breaks in half. My own family has some dysfunction. In fact, every family has dysfunction because ever person deals with sin. Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

What’s remarkable is that in all our mess making, God does not throw in the towel. God is faithful and continues to work with this dysfunctional family. Doesn’t that give you hope? Maybe you’ve seen families in the past and given up hope. Maybe you’ve messed up big and given up hope. Maybe you’ve been extremely discouraged by the way things have been going. Most of us have a limit to where we would finally cave, we would give in, we would throw in the towel and say, “I can’t take this anymore.” But we have a God who doesn’t do that. He promised exactly what would happen with the two boys before they were even born. He looks at the messes, the disasters, and the dysfunction we make and still does not give up on us. God meets us in our messes to make us into who he wants us to be. This is exactly what we are going to see in the life of Jacob. Turn with me to Genesis 27.

Trained for Deception

Genesis 27:1–4 ESV

When Isaac was old and his eyes were dim so that he could not see, he called Esau his older son and said to him, “My son”; and he answered, “Here I am.” He said, “Behold, I am old; I do not know the day of my death. Now then, take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field and hunt game for me, and prepare for me delicious food, such as I love, and bring it to me so that I may eat, that my soul may bless you before I die.”

We are unaware about how much Isaac knows of remembers. We know favoritism is a common sin within the patriarchs, a sin that Jacob famously repeats with Joseph and Benjamin. But we also know cultural tradition: the firstborn son gets the double-portion. There also seems to be some divine aspect to the blessing, as though it is a passing down of God’s promise to the son. As we will see, once this blessing is given, it cannot be revoked. Isaac is determined to give this blessing to Esau.

Rebekah hears about this and starts to plan. Again, we don’t know what conversations went on between the two about this, but there is not forthrightness on Rebekah’s part. She does not go and tell him, “You know, God said. . .” In stead, she comes up with this elaborate plot to deceive him. Deception is what the serpent did in the Garden which earned the devil the title “Father of lies.” Deception shows you are willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want. It really reveals a lack of trust in others.

Rebekah’s plan is while Esau’s out hunting, she’ll cook up Esau’s favorite meal. She gets Jacob in on it. Puts Esau’s clothes on Jacob, puts goatskin on him so he’d be hairy enough. Which really makes you think: goat skin? How hairy was this guy?

So, Jacob carries out this plan, but Isaac is suspicious of Jacob and the scene starts to carry out sort of like Red Riding Hood.

Genesis 27:20–29 ESV

But Isaac said to his son, “How is it that you have found it so quickly, my son?” He answered, “Because the Lord your God granted me success.” Then Isaac said to Jacob, “Please come near, that I may feel you, my son, to know whether you are really my son Esau or not.” So Jacob went near to Isaac his father, who felt him and said, “The voice is Jacob’s voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.” And he did not recognize him, because his hands were hairy like his brother Esau’s hands. So he blessed him. He said, “Are you really my son Esau?” He answered, “I am.” Then he said, “Bring it near to me, that I may eat of my son’s game and bless you.” So he brought it near to him, and he ate; and he brought him wine, and he drank. Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come near and kiss me, my son.” So he came near and kissed him. And Isaac smelled the smell of his garments and blessed him and said, “See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed! May God give you of the dew of heaven and of the fatness of the earth and plenty of grain and wine. Let peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may your mother’s sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you, and blessed be everyone who blesses you!”

As soon as Jacob gets the blessing, Esau comes in and reveals to his father that he’s been duped. Esau, as we saw, didn’t care a lick about his birthright, but he seems to be a pretty fickle person; or, maybe he realized his grave error. Now he desperately wants the blessing. Isaac affirms that whoever he blessed before will truly be blessed and this upsets Esau. Look at verse 34.

Genesis 27:34–38 ESV

As soon as Esau heard the words of his father, he cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me, even me also, O my father!” But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully, and he has taken away your blessing.” Esau said, “Is he not rightly named Jacob? For he has cheated me these two times. He took away my birthright, and behold, now he has taken away my blessing.” Then he said, “Have you not reserved a blessing for me?” Isaac answered and said to Esau, “Behold, I have made him lord over you, and all his brothers I have given to him for servants, and with grain and wine I have sustained him. What then can I do for you, my son?” Esau said to his father, “Have you but one blessing, my father? Bless me, even me also, O my father.” And Esau lifted up his voice and wept.

Isaac’s blessing for Jacob is pretty lackluster as you can see in the following two verses. His best hope is that he will be able to break Jacob’s yoke from his neck one day. Then we see that Esau is a hothead. Look at verse 41.

Genesis 27:41 ESV

Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”

Now, we might think at this point, “How could God do anything with this mess?” But even in the details that seem so terrible, God ends up working something for good. And that brings us again to our main point: God meets us in our messes to make us into who he wants us to be. But in the meantime, we will see Jacob’s upbringing has made him into something quite different than what God wants. But God’s not done working.

Rebekah gets wind of Esau’s vow to kill his brother. She again uses manipulation to get Jacob out to live with her brother, Laban.

The Master Manipulator tries to Manipulate God

Isaac sends Jacob off with his blessing. Esau tries to win his parent’s favor by another marriage. On Jacob’s way to Laban, he unexpectedly meets with God.

Genesis 28:10–17 ESV

Jacob left Beersheba and went toward Haran. And he came to a certain place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! And behold, the Lord stood above it and said, “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed. Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.” And he was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.”

Think about Jacob’s life at the moment. He’s deceived his dad, stolen from his brother, and now his brother is going to try to kill him. And on the way there God shows up and affirms his promise. This is just like God to show up in the middle of our mess and mold us into what he wants us to be. Jacob’s dream reveals what we call a ladder or staircase to heaven. Angels are ascending and descending on it. I think it’s important to take time to explain what—or rather who— this ladder is.

At the end of John 1, Jesus reveals himself (probably some supernatural knowledge) to Nathaniel which amazed him. Jesus responds to this amazement John 1:51 “And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” At first reading this is really confusing. I sort of pictured miniature angels going up and down on Jesus like and elevator, it didn’t make any sense.

But then it hit me, this is a direct allusion to Jacob’s dream. Jesus is claiming to be the way to heaven. This again he famously affirms in John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Maybe this story of Jacob’s family is reminding you about some of the mess in your own life. Let me encourage you: God has not given up on you. In fact, in his love, he has made a way. Through the death of his own Son you have access to God. Jesus Christ is the extreme example of our text’s main point. God himself became incarnate, he showed up in the middle of our mess, our sin. He lived a perfect life. He died the death we deserved. He took the penalty for sin we deserve. He rose from the grave securing the way to bring his kingdom here and live forever with him. Jesus showed up in our mess to make us into who he wants us to be.

Jacob’s immediate response to is praise God. But we can see, Jacob does not really trust God. Just like how Jacob used his family to get ahead in life, it seems like he wants to treat God the same way. Look at verse 18.

Genesis 28:18–22 ESV

So early in the morning Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it. He called the name of that place Bethel, but the name of the city was Luz at the first. Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father’s house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God, and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God’s house. And of all that you give me I will give a full tenth to you.”

Notice Jacob’s list of demands. Jacob is going to do whatever he wants to do. Jacob is truly independent. Independence, as we know, can be a virtue when it is balanced. Too little independence makes you wonder if a man can stand on his own too feet. Too little independence is immaturity that renders us inactive. On the other hand, too much independence is a harmful mixture of pride, mistrust, and manipulation. The person who is too independent will not trust anyone and will use them to get what he selfishly wants. This is what we see in Jacob’s list of demands.

Could you imagine if a stranger came up to you and said, “Hey, if you give me food, clothes, a house to live in, then I will be your friend.” You would probably immediately wonder what strings would be attached to this “friendship.”

Not only does Jacob reveal his attempt to use God, he also reveals his lack of need for God. He feels as though it really does not make a difference whether God is involved in his life or not. Talk about an application. Does’t this sound like the average person in America? A lot of people live as though it would not make a difference whether God was involved in their life or not.

If someone came up to us and was obviously trying to manipulate us to get what he wanted and really had no concern for us at all, we would most likely brush this person off (and hope to never see him again). But not so with God. Jacob has a mess of a life. He has a mess of an attitude toward God. But as we have seen in this passage, God meets us in our messes to make us into who he wants us to be.

The Deceiver Gets Deceived and Broken

Sometimes this process takes a long time. But God is patient. He keeps working on us even when we give up on ourselves—or even when we don’t think we need any working on. There’s a whole lot that goes on in the story we don’t have time to read through it all. Jacob arrives at his uncle’s house and wants to marry one of his daughters who is beautiful. He promises to work for seven years for this daughter.

Well the wedding comes, Jacob, as you could imagine is excited. They have a feast, it’s dark outside. And as you know, there’s no light pollution, so like out here in the country, it’s dark dark. Jacob consummates his wedding that night and wakes up to find he didn’t marry whom he was promised—he married Leah! The deceiver was deceived! Laban forces him to work another seven years for his other daughter.

For 14 years Jacob has to work for Laban, mistreated, deceived. There’s tension between his two wives. It remains full of dysfunction. After Jacob completes his years he asks permission to leave. But, Laban won’t let him go because he knows he has been so prosperous because of Jacob. Laban tries to hold Jacob back and stay ahead of him; Jacob tries to trip up Laban and stay ahead of him. Again, it’s all full of dysfunction.

Jacob was accused of stealing from Laban and again ends up fleeing. This time, because God told him to. Rachel steals the household gods. Laban chases after Jacob and catches up. A battle seems emanate, but because of Laban’s dream the true God gave him, they make a vow and depart in peace.

Jacob was a mess. He plotted, he failed, his family was full of contention and dysfunction. But God was faithful the whole time. God keeps on showing up in his mess to make him into something more.

He comes back to his homeland and expects his brother to still be trying to kill him. He sets up this elaborate plan to appease his elder brother. He sends large amounts of gifts ahead of him. He makes his family camp a ways off where they would be safer and plans to face his brother alone. Jacob is completely broken. He has many years of striving and striving and realizes that it really all amounts to nothing. He has made his life into a mess. And God shows up.

Genesis 32:23–31 ESV

He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip.

Notice Jacob’s change in attitude towards God. He goes from trying to use God to get what he selfishly wants. He’s constantly striving to get the upper hand. Then he lives through years of getting deceived and the dysfunction that sin brings. He changes from not recognizing his need of God to not letting go of God. He says, “I will not let you go unless you bless me!” What a change! Jacob’s mess made him recognize his desperate need for God. Not only does God show up in our mess, he also uses the messes we get in to conform us to the image of Christ.

Because of the sin in this world, we often get into messes. Sometimes outside of our control, and sometimes of our own making. But God meets us in our messes to make us more mature, more dependent upon him. James 1:2–3 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”

A lot of you have just gone through what you might describe as a mess. There’s been a lot of doubt, a lot of questions, a lot of discouragement. But let Jacob’s life be an encouragement to you. God has not abandoned you or forgotten you. In fact, God shows up right in the middle of your mess—our messes—to mold us into his image.

This whole world was a mess. Then Christ came, born of a virgin in a dirty manger. He brought a kingdom that he proclaimed. He made the way to that kingdom. He died for our mess and rose again. And may we be like Jacob, desperately clinging on to Christ because he’s our only hope.

Let’s pray.