Change we can believe in

In: 1. February, Date Night, Valentine’s Day- love, relationships

2. Your spouse is the only relative you get to pick

3. All this month we are going to be voting for the family

a. Your house over the White House

4. God‘s plan for discipleship is healthy families

a. Healthy people make healthy marriages, make healthy families, make healthy societies

b. The strength of any neighborhood, church, society is healthy families

c. This is for everyone- married, single, dating, students

d. A home led by a single mother is relatively new thing in our society, last 50 years

e. I have the upmost respect for a single mom or dad leading their home, but I think we all have to agree that God’s original plan is a father and mother leading a home together

4. Healthy families can change the world- Change we can believe in

TS: Important things to understand about marriage

I. Marriage is SACRED

A. The Bible starts and ends with a marriage

1. From Adam & Even in the garden to Revelation and the Marriage of the Lamb (Jesus) to the church (bride)

2. The whole arc of Scripture bends from wedding to wedding, and God’s covenant love connects them

3. Marriage is not A great theme of Scripture, it is THE great theme of Scripture

4. OT- God married to Israel, NT- Jesus engaged to the church, His bride

B. God’s Covenant love – Chesed

1. It’s a love that is based on God’s faithfulness rather than our actions

2. I’ll love you despite what it costs me and despite what you do

3. This is why marriage vows say, “In sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, till death do us part.”

4. Covenant love does not pretend that marriage is easy. It is the opposite; its admitting that marriage is hard and trying anyway

5. Marriage is two people giving up the idea of giving up on each other

C. Marriage is sacred (connected to God)

1. God created marriage as the foundational institution

a. It is the foundation for every other institution

b. In 1947, sociologist Dr. Carle Zimmerman wrote a book called Family and Civilization. He identified eleven “symptoms of final decay” from the fall of the Greek and Roman civilizations (fall from within)

1) No-fault divorce

2) Increased disrespect for parenthood and parents

3) Meaningless marriage rites/ceremonies

4) Defamation of past national heroes

5) Acceptance of alternative marriage forms

c. This sounds like us as our country is falling apart from the inside

2. Since God created marriage, we should listen to Him about marriage

a. Genesis 2:18, 21-24 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

1) After a sermon on creation, a curious young boy asked, “Dad? How did we get here?” “Remember God created EVERYTHING in six days. On the sixth day, he scooped up some dust and made Adam. He took one of Adam’s ribs and made Eve. They had kids and their kids had kids and so on, so that’s how we’re here.” Not entirely convinced, he asked his mom the same question. “It began with microorganisms you couldn’t see without a microscope. Over time they evolved—creating algae, fish, tadpoles, birds, and eventually evolved into monkeys and apes and eventually humans!!” Mom’s explanation seemed more logical, so the boy approached his dad. “You lied to me! Mom told me about evolution.” Dad responded, “no, Son. I didn’t lie. Your mother was just telling you about HER side of the family.”

2) Last Sunday in Bridge Kids they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings and made Eve out of Adam’s rib. Later in class the teacher noticed a little boy named Johnny lying down as if he was sick and said. “Johnny what is the matter?” Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

b. Matthew 19:4-6 Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

c. Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled

d. Ephesians 5:28-33 Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to lovehis own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respectsher husband.

e. 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

* Marriage is sacred as it is connected to God

II. Marriage is a SYMBOL

A. Beautiful pictures of God in marriage

1. A covenant

a. A Sacred vow- a promise that is made

b. A Seal- Abraham: circumcision

• Noah- never flood the earth: rainbow,

• Salvation- Holy Spirit, water baptism

• Marriage- rings, two becoming one through the act of marriage

c. A Sacrifice- means “to cut.” You don’t make covenant, you cut covenant

• God cut Adam’s side to make Eve

• Strength of a marriage is in our willingness to sacrifice for each other

• People don’t get divorced because they fall out of love, but because they are too much in love with themselves

2. Eleazer, the Father’s (Abraham) helper finding a bride for the promised son (Isaac) (Holy Spirit helps draw us, the bride to Jesus, the promised son)

3. Hosea buying Gomer back after she left him to pursue other lovers (never gives up on us)

4. Ruth being all alone and taken in by Boaz the Kinsman Redeemer (Jesus redeems us and takes care of us)

B. Marriage is a picture of our relationship with Jesus

1. He nourishes (bring to maturity) and cherishes us (special care)

2. We love, respect and follow His leadership

3. The devil works overtime to destroy marriages since marriage is a picture to the world of Christ and the church

a. Satanic plot in our world to destroy the sacredness of marriage

b. Possibly the most dangerous tool being used today to destroy your marriage is the phone. We talk to it, touch it, listen to it and look at it more than we do our spouse. We ignored everything else when it asks for our attention

* Marriage is a symbol of our relationship with Jesus

III. Marriage is a STEWARDSHIP

A. A stewardship of our spouse

1. A steward makes things better, more fruitful

a. Our role is to help our spouse be who God created them to be

b. Ephesians 5:25-27 You husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her, to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish

c. We will be accountable with God for our influence in the lives of others

2. Marriage is God’s ultimate plan for discipleship.

a. It is our responsibility to teach and train our children to follow God

b. Malachi 2:15 Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union

3. Too many couples are experts in each other’s weaknesses

a. We use our strengths to attack the others weakness

b. In the Garden of Eden when Cain failed in his sacrifice to God

1) Genesis 4:7 If you do, what is right, you be accepted, but if not sin is crouching at the door and it desire to control you

2) Instead of changing his behavior, he attacked Abel

3) Able must die because I can’t face my own failures and shortcomings

a) The Essence of Cancel Culture- tear down anything that disagrees with you

4) Our fig leaf becomes tearing down the thing we want to be accepted by

a) That group/team/person is stupid

5) Shame always blames somebody else because we want to deflect it

c. The answer is to work on ourselves instead of blaming our spouse

B. A stewardship of ourselves

1. Am I the person I need to be?

a. AW Tozer- when Christ is exalted to his proper place in our lives 1,000 problems are solved

2. Jacob, Rachel & Leah (Rachel gorgeous, shapely- Leah- nice personality)

a. We are attracted to Rachel- what’s looks good on the outside

b. Rachel looks good to others

1) She makes us look good

a) What do you call a pretty girl on a guys arm in Louisiana (tattoo)

2) We are the envy of others

c. Rachel is not a great person

1) Rachel is about Rachel

2) 30:1 Demanding, bossy- Give me children or I’ll die

3) 30:3 Competitive- gives Bilhah to Jacob

4) 30:16 Controlled by appetite- Trades Leah mandrakes for a night with Jacob

5) 31:34 Idols- Rachel stole the household God’s

6) 31:35 Lies to her dad to hide her secret, hides it from Jacob

d. Leah is beautiful on the inside

1) I feel sorry for her- unloved

a) It wasn’t really her fault- it was the system, pressure from others

b) Striving to be loved- kids names- see me, hear me, attach to me

c) Finally, she just gives in and says I will praise the Lord (Judah)

2) She is faithful, giving, unselfish

3) 1 Samuel 16:7 People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart

e. Rachel is about Rachel, but Leah is about us

1) Rachel is about the surface, appearance, what everyone sees

2) Leah is the challenges of life that change us on the inside

a) We all think we need Rachel, but to be who God wants us to be we need Leah

b) Rachel is love at first sight, but we have to learn to love Leah

f. Rachel is barren, but Leah produces fruit in our lives

1) The harvest will come from the least attractive things in our life

2) Our fruit will be produced by the things we have to learn to love

a) Sunday is my Rachel. The interruptions all week are my Leah

b) Preaching is my Rachel. Fasting is my Leah

c) Altar calls are Rachels. Phone calls are Leah’s

d) Sunday worship service is Rachel. Rehearsals at 7am are Leah’s

e) The mountain tops are my Rachel. The valleys are my Leah’s

3) Truth is we’re married to both women

a) Too many of us are happy with Salvation (Rachel), but we don’t move on to discipleship (Leah)

b) Most of us get saved for selfish reasons. We want peace, forgiveness, need help, love how it makes us feel

c) But spiritual maturity comes when we embrace the hard things, discipline, deal with what’s on the inside of us- anger, bitterness, shame, lust, money, hurt, insecurity, unforgiveness

d) A better marriage starts with a better you

g. Our future is in Leah

1) 35:19 Rachel dies and it buried on the way to Bethlehem

2) 49:31-33 He buried Leah in the cave with Abraham/Sarah, Isaac/Rebekah. And Jacob was buried with Leah

3) Most of us would assume the Messianic line came through Joseph

a) He’s the star child that comes out of this family

b) Matthew 1:1-3 Jesus came from Abraham Isaac, Jacob, Judah (Leah’s son)

c) We spend too much time and effort walking around acting like we’ve got it together with Rachel on our arm, but Jesus comes through Leah being in our lives

3. Don’t stop with a surface relationship with Rachel, that looks good to everyone else, but learn to love Leah, because that is what is going to reproduce Jesus in our life

a. Healthy people make healthy marriages make healthy families

* Marriage is a stewardship of others and ourselves

Cn: 1. Doesn’t matter what the White House is doing if we take care of Our House

2. Healthy families can change the world- Change we can believe in

3. We might be full of regrets up to this point, but the hope of the gospel is we can start over again knowing what we know now

4. Today can be the first day of a better you and a better marriage

Al: 1. I’d like a fresh start- come forward, do-overs