I’m Fine

In: 1. Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met?

a. Manny Ramirez airport in Miami,

b. Robert Redford was walking one day through a hotel lobby. A woman saw him and followed him to the elevator. "Are you the real Robert Redford?" she asked him with great excitement. As the doors of the elevator closed, he replied, "Only when I am alone!"

c. Richard Nixon at the opening of the Port of Catoosa in June 1971

1) It’s not the crime, it’s the coverup

2. Cliche’- is a phrase or expression…that is often overused and thus, loses its significance

3. Last week- How do we pray for others?

4. This week- How do we learn to be honest with others?

5. How are you? I’m fine (when we’re not) (the cover-up)

a. Why don’t we open up?

1) Don’t have time, awkward in the hallway or aisle

a) Can you make a time? A place?

b) It’s been rough, could you get a coffee this week?

2) Been hurt before?

a) Last time someone betrayed your confidence

b) Its always a risk to open up but it’s the path to healing

3) I don’t know them that well?

a) Why not?

b) Who do you know well enough to tell?

6. Genesis 3:1-7 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” 2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. 3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’” 4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” 6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdomit would give her. So, she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So, they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves

a. Satan whispers these little subtle lies that we can believe if we aren’t careful

b. Misrepresents what God said- “Must not eat from any of the trees”

c. Half truth- you won’t die- maybe not physically, but spiritually

I. BELIEVED IT - we believe the lie

A. Something was wrong with them

1. That God was holding out on them

2. That they were missing something

a. Truth is, we are missing something, but so is everyone else

b. None of us have it all

c. Even the most talented, beautiful, wealthiest people want something else

d. CS Lewis- If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world

B. That they were supposed to be like God

1. Self-sufficient

a. We don’t have any needs outside ourselves

b. Pull ourselves up by our boot straps

c. Navy Seal talking about PTSD & Suicide- We all train to put the world on our backs but at the end of the day the hardest part is to knock on a friend’s door. (Admit you need help)

d. It’s an eye opening day when we realize we need help

2. Outside of time

a. We can handle the past, present & future

b. We all have baggage from our past

c. We all struggle with the present

d. None of us can control the future

3. All knowing

a. We think we have to have an answer to every problem, question, situation

b. It’s OK to say “I don’t know”

c. John Kavanaugh, a famous ethicist met Mother Teresa- “What do you want me to pray for?” she replied. He then uttered the request he had carried thousands of miles: “Clarity. Pray that I have clarity.” “No,” Mother Teresa answered, “I will not do that.” When he asked her why, she said, “Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of.” When Kavanaugh said that she always seemed to have clarity, the very kind of clarity he was looking for, Mother Teresa laughed and said: “I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God.”

4. There is a God and you are not Him

* Don’t believed the lie that we are supposed to be like God

II. SHAMED BY IT – we are ashamed by our failures

A. Shame

1. Shame that we weren’t stronger

2. Shame that we were fooled

3. Shame that we didn’t measure up

B. The anatomy of a stronghold

1. A negative event- hurt, trauma

2. Tell ourselves a lie

a. I assign meaning to an event

1) It’s because I am… God is…

b. Lies I believe about God, ourself and others

3. Find Defense or comfort

a. How do I choose to protect myself or comfort myself? (alcohol, drugs, alone)

b. We make inner vows and judgments (I will never… all men are…)

4. Our Reaction

a. Others react to our defenses in way that often reproduces the event and continues the cycle

b. Wounded people, wound people

5. Examples of this

a. Abandonment

1) Event- Dad left/parents divorced

2) Lie- my fault, all men leave

3) Defense- Don’t trust anyone

4) Response- Trust issues, others can’t get close to me

5) Event- ruins future relationships

6. Genesis 2:25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

a. Naked and unafraid, unashamed- complete honesty

b. They “knew” each other- they were known as well

c. We are only as free as our secrets

d. Adam and Eve's problem wasn't nakedness their problem was shame

* We feel shame when we don’t measure up

III. HIDE IT – we try to hide

A. From each other

1. To cover it up so no one would know

2. To disappear so we don’t have to face others

a. The first step away from God is usually a step away from His people

b. Isolate ourselves, come late/leave early, skipping church, small group

3. This is what our body does…. It’s called shock

a. Shock is an involuntary protective response that prevents us from being overwhelmed by the full impact of the trauma we are facing. The nervous system shuts down so the pain is numb and the mind goes in the filter mode to keep out overwhelming information

b. So we don’t feel the full affect of the pain (4-wheeler accident)

B. From God

* Genesis 3:8-9 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

a. They withdrew- didn’t meet God that evening

1. Hide it- Why do we conceal it

a. Embarrassment / shame

b. Sin destroys our confidence through paranoia (fear of getting caught)

1) Psalm 32:3-4 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

d. Fungus and mold only grow in the dark

2. Ignore it

a. We don’t want to deal with it

1) Keep putting it off, but it keeps piling up

b. It’s easier to run from it, talk, skip altars

3. Redirect it- Blame

a. We want to blame others

b. I don't want to admit that something is wrong with me so I try to convince myself that the problem is not me but something else

c. 1 John 1:8-9 If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.

* We can’t hide from others and from God

IV. REVEAL IT (open up to someone)

A. Confess it

a. If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong

b. To confess means to agree

1) To agree with God that we are not enough on our own

2) To agree with God that we are not God

c. Proverbs 28:13 He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

B. We try to hide it from God

1. Adam & Eve- where are you?

a. He knows where we are. He’s just making sure we know where we are

2. If we cover it God will uncover it, but if we uncover it, God will cover it

a. Luke 12:2 But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known

b. A drunk husband snuck up the stairs quietly. He looked in the bathroom mirror and bandaged the bumps and bruises he'd received in a fight earlier that night. He then proceeded to climb into bed, smiling at the thought that he'd pulled one over on his wife. When morning came, he opened his eyes and there stood his wife. "You were drunk last night weren't you!" "No, honey I wasn’t." "Well, if you weren't, then who put all the band-aids on the bathroom mirror?"

3. There is freedom and strength in honesty

a. John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free

1) If truth sets us free, then what do lies do? Bind us

b. Ephesians 6:14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth

1) Back support, weightlifting belt

4. Honesty is the nature of repentance

a. Luke 3:12-14 And some tax collectors also came to be baptized, and they said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?” 13 And he said to them, “Collect no more than what you have been ordered to.” 14 Some soldiers were questioning him, saying, “And what about us, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Do not take money from anyone by force, or accuse anyone falsely, and be content with your wages.” BE HONEST

* We fine freedom when we open up about our struggles

Cn: 1. Most of the Psalms were written in David’s dark time running from Saul

a. Complaining, being frustrated, feeling slighted, feeling alone, David being honest with God about his feelings.

b. But then He begins to look to God, His faithfulness, His grace, His mercy and he ends with declaring his trust for God and worshipping at his feet

2. Authenticity is the highest form of worship

a. John 4:24 We must worship Him in spirit and in truth

3. CS Lewis- Friendship... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”

a. Through confession and companionship we realize we are not alone

b. That’s why God made Eve- It’s not good for man to be alone

4. Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens and you will fulfill the law of Christ

a. We are robbing others of a blessing when we don’t allow them to help us

b. There are some struggles we will never be free from until we confess to someone

c. James 5:16 confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed

5. It’s OK to not be OK, but it’s not OK to stay there

6. Honesty brings help, which bring healing

Al: 1. Salvation- confess your sins

2. Need help- bring a friend or be a friend