Counseling Week 3 Reading Log

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Strategic Pastoral Counseling: A Short-Term Structured Model Appendix: Ethical Considerations in Pastoral Counseling

Protect the rights of those you counsel.

As much as I sometimes would like to, I avoid giving many pointed directives. While occasionally such is called for, generally, I find it best to guide individuals from the standpoint of as many options and outcomes as possible, and then, very directly, leave the decision in their hands.
Strategic Pastoral Counseling: A Short-Term Structured Model Appendix: Ethical Considerations in Pastoral Counseling

Avoid dual role relationships.

A “nice guy” pastoral counselor, forgetting the emotional clouding of closeness, can errantly make mistakes in leadership. Even with the best of intentions. This is closely related to the legal requirement for family members who are medical practitioners, avoiding treating family members.
Strategic Pastoral Counseling: A Short-Term Structured Model Appendix: Ethical Considerations in Pastoral Counseling

Avoid romantic or sexual intimacies in counseling.

The quote strikes me, “any movement toward the boundary.“… Would to God that any movement toward the boundary would make us physically ill. Would God that any movement toward the boundary would awaken us in a clinical and spiritual sense would to God that any movement toward the boundary would, shake us to our core and bring us to our knees. How many have fallen!
Strategic Pastoral Counseling: A Short-Term Structured Model Appendix: Ethical Considerations in Pastoral Counseling

Be aware of your limitations.

Beware of counselors who have a messianic complex.
Strategic Pastoral Counseling: A Short-Term Structured Model Appendix: Ethical Considerations in Pastoral Counseling

Remain in relationships of personal accountability

Core. Personal accountability to me, begins with my happy marriage, and deliberations with my wife.

Parental guidance recognizes that parents can influence children more profoundly than any counselor.

Very rare is the child, turned young adult, who is able to find a pastoral counselor who can profoundly influence them for righteousness, undoing years of neglect, absence, and inconsistent, parental guidance.
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Causes of Problems in Children

In 1799 a young boy was found running naked in the woods near Aveyron, France. The child was unable to communicate, behaved like an animal, and apparently had not had human contact for a number of years.

Truly fascinating and striking study. How responsible are children for their development? Age of accountability has been a worldview-impacting concept in my life, ministry, and experience. Until that age—maybe 12 to 14 years old—there is zero responsibility for development. This is a serious weight of burden placed upon those who brought them into the world, or those to whom they are entrusted. Parental guidance is far more than a movie rating! Could it be that their only command—to obey their parents—is really the only point of responsibility lovingly, knowingly placed by God?
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Causes of Problems in Children

no one could be more perfect than God, and yet Isaiah’s prophecy shows that even God had problems with his kids.

Isaiah 1:2 NKJV
Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth! For the Lord has spoken: “I have nourished and brought up children, And they have rebelled against Me;
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Causes of Problems in Children

no one could be more perfect than God, and yet Isaiah’s prophecy shows that even God had problems with his kids.

Child problems are not always caused by parental failures.
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide The Effects of Problems in Children

When Samuel grew up and became a leader, his own sons were a source of embarrassment.

Parental issues hitting close to home
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide The Effects of Problems in Children

Temper tantrums, rebellion, underachievement (especially in school), delinquency, fighting, silliness, excessive crying, dawdling, and other attention-getting behavior are ways of saying nonverbally, “Notice me. I’m hurting too!”

Emotional and mental immaturity expressed. Meant to be guided and channeled by parents as best they can so that these are not expressed or violently as they age.
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Counseling and Problems in Children

the family is really the Church in miniature.”

The microcosm of the church. If the microcosm can be destroyed, then the macro is seriously threatened as well.
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Counseling and Problems in Children

3. Counseling Referrals. Child counseling is a specialty within the helping professions. The Christian counselor who works mostly with adults may wish to refer children and their parents,

Excellent considerations when it comes to referrals of family/parents/children
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Preventing Child-Rearing Problems

in all of society there is no institution that can match the church in its potential influence on childhood, parenting, and family development.

The dire responsibility and vision of a church is to encourage, inspire, and enlighten, individuals, impacting their families which will come and turn, reinforce the vision of the church.
Isaiah shows that God’s perfection isn’t necessarily matched in his children. Parental encouragement that free will prevails.
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Preventing Child-Rearing Problems

Parental Training. Parenting can be a difficult and sometimes overwhelming responsibility. On occasion almost all parents feel that they have failed, and most have periods of discouragement and confusion. At such times parents need understanding, encouragement, and guidance concerning the needs and characteristics of children. Christian leaders can provide this help. Suggest books or other helpful resources on child-rearing. Alert parents to the child’s need for security, love, discipline, self-esteem, acceptance, and an awareness of God’s presence. Point out the dangers of overprotection, overpermissiveness, overrestrictiveness, and overmeticulousness. Emphasize that both parents need to be actively involved in child-rearing; abundant evidence shows that the presence of fathers leads to children who grow up with fewer emotional problems. Then, as part of parent training, it may be helpful to consider the principles of effective parent-child communication, teach ways to discipline, talk about behavior management, and discuss how children’s needs can be met. All of these may be discussed in church settings where parents can share with one another.

Excellent material outlining a bedrock curriculum/syllabus for training parents.
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Conclusions About Counseling Children and Their Parents

too many children grow up without love and without social skills to function successfully in this complex world.

Primary trait and virtue to instill: love.

During this period of life, at least four important questions need to be answered. Each of these has been considered during the previous years, but each can become more focused in late adolescence.

1. The Question of Identity:

Focused questions that need to answered by adolescents:

During this period of life, at least four important questions need to be answered. Each of these has been considered during the previous years, but each can become more focused in late adolescence.

1. The Question of Identity:

2. The Question of Relationships:

3. The Question of the Future:

4. The Question of Ideology:

Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Chapter 15: Twenties and Thirties

divided early adulthood into four overlapping periods,

Interesting period divisions.
First is the period between ages seventeen and twenty-two. The Yale researchers describe this as the early adult transition.
twenty-two or twenty-three, young adults move to the stage that Levinson’s researchers call entering the adult world.
age thirty transition begins in the late twenties and extends into the early thirties.
Between ages thirty-three and forty, most individuals go through a period of settling down.
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide The Bible and the Twenties and Thirties

Is it possible that most biblical leaders made their mark on history when they were young adults like David? Joseph was thirty when he became the ruler or Egypt, second only to Pharaoh. Jesus was in his early thirties when he carried out his whole ministry and changed the course of history, aided by a group of disciples that may have been barely out of their teens. Many of the early church leaders appear to have been young people. They all had struggles, but many were used by God in mighty ways.

Shared with Don
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide The Causes of Problems in Twenty- and Thirty-Year-Olds

All leaders, he found, have high degrees of emotional intelligence. This involves the following skills that people can learn, even though not all succeed in doing so.

• Self-awareness, the ability to recognize and understand your moods and emotions, and to know how these influence others.

• Self-control, the ability to control impulses and think before acting.

• Goal commitment, the ability to pursue goals with energy and persistence, and to work for reasons that go beyond money or status.

• Sensitivity to the emotional makeup of others, along with skill in treating people according to their abilities and emotional makeup.

• Relationship proficiency, which includes managing relationships, building rapport, and building networks.

Tremendous piece on leadership
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide The Effects of Problems in Twenty- and Thirty-Year-Olds

The three greatest challenges facing twenty-somethings are achieving an adult identity, sustaining intimate relationships with others, and developing a distinct career or work identity. A lack of one of these can lead to intense loneliness.

Wes Brownmiller, et al. This is a revelatory trifecta of challenges that can and should be address long before late-twenties.
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Preventing Problems in Twenty- and Thirty-Year-Olds

If you are a counselor, you are a model to the people you counsel,

So basic, so fundamental, so crucial!
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide The Effects of Problems in Forty- and Fifty-Year-Olds

A third reaction is to use one’s dissatisfaction as a springboard for change. This may involve risk and often it takes courage.

Yes! This sounds like me, by God’s grace!
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