Be Reconciled

Matthew 5:21-26

Anger Management?

Talking about a deeply personal subject, one we all struggle with. 

The Struggle with Anger…

Robert Jones, in his book Uprooting Anger, writes, “Anger is a universal problem, prevalent in every culture, experienced by ever generation. No one is isolated from its presence or immune from its poison. It permeates each person and spoils our most intimate relationships.  Anger is a given part of our fallen human fabric. Sadly this is true even in our Christian homes and churches.”

There are often legitimate reasons for anger (injustice or harm to others).  That is not what we’re talking about here.  The Greeks had two words for anger – thymos – which suggested a quick flame that blazes then dies down, and “orge,” which suggests a brooding, nursed anger that is not allowed to die – a smoldering long-lived thing that eats away like a cancer. 

The Comfort of Anger

Raging against the world, the flight attendant, the car. We stew and stew until we finally blow our lid in hot, fuming, vitriolic anger.

We get angry because we don’t get our way, when things seem to always be going against us, and our anger, either in outburst or in the slow simmering rage, is our attempt to exert our power and to put others in their place.

It is always easier to have someone else to blame for our problems, someone else to accuse and hold responsible for the way things have turned out.

The Destruction of Anger.

The problem with unrighteous anger is that it is always directed at the wrong source. 

No one can make you angry, being angry is how you choose to react to the situation. Rather than dealing constructively with the real issue (your heart, your pride, your compulsive desire for self-control) you lash out at everyone and everything around you.

Often directed toward those we should love the most: our spouse, our children, parents, or siblings, and those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Anger divides and destroys. Resentment and hard words wreck relationships and destroy lives.

4th grade Teacher: “I think so, or I stink so.”

Jesus’ Teaching on Anger

Fulfilling the law: getting to the heart of the 6th commandment, “you have heard it said to those of old, ‘do not commit murder, whoever does is liable…’”

Jesus deepens the meaning: Anger is Murder. If you are angry with your brother, you are liable to judgment, that is, you deserve the same penalty as that of a murderer.

Anger in the heart towards any human being, and especially to those who belong to the household of faith, is, according to our Lord, something that is as reprehensible in the sight of God as murder. Why?

Murder does not only mean destroying life physically, it means still more trying to destroy the spirit and the soul.

If you slander “Ρακα” you’re worthless - liable… if you say “Μορε” – moron - liable to hell

Calling someone “good-for-nothing” and “fool” is to slander them. It is “murderous” because it devalues.

When we are unjustly angry, or hold anger against a brother, we do the same thing murderers do: We assault the image of God.

A murderer says a person has no value. God says, No, that person was created in My image and therefore is worthy of honor.

A slanderer says a person has no value. God says, No, that person was created in my image and therefore is worthy of dignity.

Constant picking and sarcastically cutting each other down is not good in any way.

Think about the words you’ve said to your spouse, your children, your friends. We are all guilty, and must repent, and must seek reconciliation

Be Reconciled

Reconciled: to get right, make peace, to restore friendship. What is required for reconciliation?

Change in attitude

A choice, what has happened will have no bearing on our relationship.

We cannot forgive and forget, we’re not wired that way, but we can choose not to remember the offense.

Rom 12:17–18 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

2 Cor 13:11 Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace…

A change in heart

To choose forgiveness, mercy, and love

Choosing the brother over the anger, the relationship over the retaliation. It always involves sacrifice. You cannot get satisfaction and have the relationship you want.

Eph 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Col 3:13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

A Change in Perspective

I’ll forgive and let go of my anger when they say their sorry…

What does Jesus say:

If someone has something against you, go.

If someone accuses you, be quick to make peace.

Did Jesus wait for us to repent to come to us, or did He come to us offering grace that we would repent?

A change in priorities.

The Immediate Need – If you are bringing a gift for an offering (worship) and remember someone has something against you, leave it and be reconciled.

As long as you have something between you and your neighbor, we have no access to God. If you aren’t speaking to someone, or are harboring unkind thoughts, there is no value in your attempted act of worship.

Ps 66:18 If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.

Isa 59:2 your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.

John 9:31 God does not listen to sinners

Sinful anger must be faced honestly and must be confessed to God as sin. We must go to our brother and get the matter settled, and we must do it quickly. The longer we wait, the worse the bondage becomes! The person who refuses to forgive his brother destroys the very bridge over which he himself must walk.

Are there those that you avoid? Those whom you’ve just decided the relationship is done, and there is no forgiveness? Can you picture someone right now?

Now think of Jesus’ teaching. Is your anger, your division, your stubborn refusal of reconciliation in submission to your Lord’s teaching?

When we pass the peace, it’s not “good morning,” but peace be with you… it is an opportunity to make sure you are not worshiping God hypocritically.

The Root and Cause of Reconciliation

Can we honestly keep this law? No. But this is where the gospel is at play.

Christ certainly does not cast the law aside, but fulfills it by showing the full demand of the law of God. His law calls us to acknowledge our sin and confess our failure, without self-defense and self-justification.

God is the beginning and end of reconciliation – he did not wait for us to seek forgiveness, but while we were still sinners, God sent His Son to die for us.

God was the offended party, who sent his son, that we might be reconciled. You owed to God a debt you could not pay, and God sent His Son to pay every cent. He died not because you were loving and kind and good, but while you were still an enemy.

Heb 8:12 For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”

We are reconciled in Christ

The death of Christ purchased our peace with God

2 Cor 5:19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them

Col1:19–20 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

The Ministry of Reconciliation

Such reconciliation is only possible through the grace and mercy of God in Jesus Christ, and through the new life He gives us in the Holy Spirit.

Because we have been reconciled with God through Christ, we are to take up the ministry of reconciliation, to proclaim God’s peace to the world, to bring others to reconciliation with God.