Learning to Lament: Cry Aloud to God
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How do we deal biblically with our pain and our grief?
Can you relate with these words of David?
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
Is this you? Has this been you?
Is there a way to rightly give voice to your pain?
Is there a path that gives you permission to wrestle with sorrow instead of rushing to its end?
Because we live in a sin-cursed world there are sorrows, like sea billows, sometimes they roll over us.
I have lost loved ones to death. The first funeral I every held was for a little baby that died prematurely.
This past January we heard testimony by many pastors and their wives of situations of pain and grief. One family had their adult daughter commit suicide. One pastor had his wife pass away while they were both still very young.
Sometimes we personally don’t know how to handle the grief, or as fellow Christians we don’t know how to comfort others who are grieving.
Is there a way to deal biblically with grief? The Bible puts a name to it. It’s called lamenting.
This morning I want to begin a short series on the biblical concept of lament.
There are books on grief that attempt to explain the purpose of our pain or to walk someone through the different stages of grief, and while those can be helpful at some level, most of those resources ignore the biblical concept of lament.
So, what is the biblical notion of lament?
Dark Clouds Deep Mercy, Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop
It is more than merely crying. Did anyone have to teach you to cry? That was one of the first things you ever did after being born into this world. It is the first sound we associate with a new born baby.
Biblical lament is more that just shedding tears. It is altogether different. It is not something that we do instinctually. We must be taught to lament.
In his book, Dark Clouds Deep Mercy, Mark says this, “Every lament is a prayer. A statement of faith. Lament is the honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God’s goodness.”
You have the paradox of pain on one side and the promise of God’s goodness on the other. Lament is the vehicle that moves us from one to the other.
Mark gives an example of a prayer meeting where, after teaching on the idea of biblical lament, he put a chair in the middle of the room and invited anyone to sit down and pray a corporate prayer of lament. Any takers?
One young woman came to the chair and with trembling voice prayed this,
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you withhold the blessing of a child from us? How long will we cry to you—how many more days, months, or years will pass with our arms remaining empty? How much longer will we struggle to rejoice with those who rejoice while we sit weeping? But I have trusted in your steadfast love. My heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me! Thank you, Father.”
That is what a biblical lament sounds like. What did you think that did in the heart of that young woman? What do you think that did in the hearts of those praying with her?
2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Do you think everyone in that prayer meeting was better equipped to help bear that couple’s burden? Do you think that is what Jesus intends the church for?
If that is the case, then we must learn what it means to lament, and we must encourage that kind of prayer to happen within our church body.
In this short series on Lament I want to uncover this idea of lament, this prayer in pain that leads to trust.
We are going to cover four key elements involved in a biblical lament.
Four Key Elements of Biblical Lament
Turn
Complain
Ask
Trust
And where will we go to unearth these key elements? Answer: The book of Psalms. Why to the Psalms? Where is one of the first places in the Bible you turn when you are in pain?
Originally what purpose did the Psalms accomplish? They were the songbook for God’s covenant people in the OT.
Did you know that at least one third of the 150 psalms are laments? One out of every three songs in the Hebrew songbook were laments. Mark Vroegop says they were in a minor key.
I wonder how many lament songs we have in our modern Christian songbooks? Can you think of any off the top of your head? Can you think of 5? It is certainly not one in three!
Yet, Laments are in the Scriptures for a reason. Life sometimes, a lot of the times, is in the minor key. And we need to turn to God’s answer for how we deal with grief and pain.
With all of that in mind, let’s look at the first of the four key elements in a biblical lament this morning.
The first key element is the idea of turning.
And what is the best way to turn our hearts to God? The best way to turn our hearts to the Lord is through prayer.
Ok, sermons over. we can go home. no? If all I said was prayer, that would be no better than a Sunday School answer.
How does prayer turn your heart to God when you are in the midst of deep sorrow, pain, or grief? That’s the question!
Because, you have all been there. In the middle of pain and the last thing you want to hear from someone is, “just pray about it.” Because you tried that and it didn’t work. But, I’ll bet you have never tried a prayer of lament!
So how do we pray, how do we lament, in order to turn our hearts to the Lord? That is what we want to seek from this psalm.
I. Keep on crying … ALOUD! (vv. 1-2a)
I. Keep on crying … ALOUD! (vv. 1-2a)
Psalm 77 is a wonderful example of what it looks like to turn to God while in pain. If we are to learn to lament we must resolve in our hearts to talk to God when we are in the midst of deep pain. That sounds like basic stuff, but sometimes it is very difficult to actually do. Yet, this is where laments begin. They begin with an invitation to turn to God while we are still in pain.
1 I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.
The Hebrew places the noun “aloud” or lit. “with my voice” first in word order to indicate urgency. The Psalmist is determined to cry aloud. Literally, he prays with his voice to God. This is an emotional verse. The psalmist is in trouble, he is in pain. And in the midst of that pain he determines to cry out loud with his voice in prayer to the Lord.
Why is he so determined to do this? What does the end of the verse say? and he will hear me.
What does this statement tell us about the author? He is a man of faith. It takes faith to pray a lament.
Psalm 77:2 (ESV)
2 In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
Here we find the problem: “In the day of my trouble.” The psalmist is in trouble, he is in distress, he is in pain. And yet he does what? “In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord.”
Have you ever received the silent treatment? Have you ever given someone the silent treatment? Have you ever given God the silent treatment?
Sometimes when we are grieving, when we are in trouble or in pain the last thing we want to do is cry aloud to the Lord or seek Him. So, instead of exercising faith and turning to God in lament, they stay in silent despair.
If crying aloud to God is an expression of faith, what is remaining silent in your despair? It is actually a subtle expression of unbelief. Guess what is waiting for those who remain silent? Nothing but hopelessness and despair. We can even begin to doubt whether or not God even cares. What happens when you start to believe the lie that God doesn’t care? You stop praying. You stay silent. You give up.
Lament, on the other hand, turns our hearts and directs our emotions to the Lord. It allows us to vocalize our emotions, our pain, our hurts, our questions to God in prayer believing that he will hear me when I pray.
Look at the last part of v. 2- “in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying.” This is most likely speaking about a posture of prayer— hand stretched out.
2 Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help, when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary.
6 I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah
Some people think that God does not want them to vocalize their pains, doubts, struggles, or questions.
Alexander Maclaren said this, “Doubts are better put into plain speech than lying diffused and darkening, like poisonous mists, in the heart. A thought, be it good or bad, can be dealt with when it is made articulate.”
Friend, have you stopped praying because of your pain? Have you been treating God with the silent treatment? Silence is a soul killer. Let me encourage you to turn to God in lament. And it starts with turning in faith. It starts by turning in prayer. Cry aloud to God once again. Seek the Lord again. Tonight, when you can’t sleep, stretch out your hand to the Lord once again in prayer.
How do we pray, how do we lament, in order to turn our hearts to the Lord?
We keep on crying …aloud in prayer.
II. Admit your struggles (2b-6)
II. Admit your struggles (2b-6)
This is no quick fix. This is no 5 steps and your pain will be fixed approach. Lament is biblical and you should practice it, but turning to the Lord in a prayer of lament is no guarantee that your emotional struggle with immediately evaporate.
2 In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted.
3 When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah
So the psalmist is praying, he is turning to God, he is expressing his faith, he has the right posture—hand stretched out without wearying… but it isn’t working. End of v. 2 he says “my soul refuses to be comforted.”
When he remembers God, when he meditates what happens? He moans and his spirit faints within him. His laments are not working, immediately, yet he continues to pray! That is what is important. He is admitting to the Lord the struggles he is having in his laments. But, he continues to seek the Lord in the meantime.
4 You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
What is going on here? The psalmist uses descriptive language to admit his struggles. It was as if God was holding his eyelids open. In other words he could not sleep because of his pain.
He was so troubled that at time he could not even speak aloud. There were times in his weariness and trouble that all he could do was pray silently in his heart because he did not have the strength to formulate the words.
There have been many times when in tears all I could do is silent pray these words, “God help!”
5 I consider the days of old, the years long ago.
We do this all the time right? In our grief we remember when things weren’t so bad, weren’t so painful. We consider the good old days, the years long ago.
6 I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.” Then my spirit made a diligent search:
Song in the night- the times in solitude and stillness of night when he would sing of the wonders of the Lord. He would recall all the things that the Lord had done in the past and meditate upon them. His spirit made a diligent search of these past experiences. Sometimes, this leads us to further pain instead of comfort.
“You need to know that lament does not always lead to an immediate solution. It does not always bring a quick or timely answer. Grief is not tame. Lament is not a simplistic formula. Instead, lament is the song you sing believing that one day God will answer and restore. Lament invites us to pray through our struggle with a life that is far from perfect.” — Mark Vroegop
How do we pray, how do we lament, in order to turn our hearts to the Lord?
We keep on crying …aloud in prayer.
We admit our struggles.
III. Give voice to your troubling questions (7-9)
III. Give voice to your troubling questions (7-9)
In the previous two verse the psalmist called to mind the good old days, the days in the past where God worked favorably for his cause. Sometimes, that kind of reflection can lead to more pain before things get better. In vv. 7-9 it lead the psalmist to ask six pointed questions about the Lord.
7 “Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? 8 Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? 9 Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah
Will the Lord spurn forever? (7)
Will He never again be favorable? (7)
Has His steadfast love forever ceased? (8)
Are His promises at an end for all time? (8)
Has God forgotten to be gracious? (9)
Has he in anger shut up His compassion? (9)
Now, does the psalmist really believe these things about God? Does he think God is unloving, doesn’t keep his promises, and had forgotten him forever? As we read the rest of the psalm that clearly is not the case. So, what is the psalmist doing in these verses?
He is doing something really really important in the biblical process of lamenting. He is honestly praying to the Lord and he is recognizing that the pain and struggles he is going through create difficult emotions that are not based upon truth but feel true anyway.
It is eye opening that God wants us to be honest with Him in our prayers. Honest, pain-filled questions are part of God’s plan for lamenting and healing. Again, it takes faith to lay our painful questions before the Lord.
What is the typical Christian response to someone who dares to ask these kinds of questions? You can’t say that! We have to be glass half full Christians. We have to always turn our sorrows into joys immediately. What happens to other’s grief when we do that?
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Do we really do that? Do we really weep with those who weep?
Illustration: Young pastor who married a young lady with a terminal illness. She ended up dying when they were in their 30’s. The pastor knew this day was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier. The day of the funeral he had people ask him if he was thinking about remarriage.
Part of lamenting is having the faith to give voice to our troubling questions. And it is OK. God wants us to humbly turn to Him in prayer. Be honest with the Lord. And don’t rush to fix everything for someone else who is in pain. Instead weep with them. Lament with them. Allow them to humbly express the troubling emotions going on inside of them. Give them space and time to do so.
How do we pray, how do we lament, in order to turn our hearts to the Lord?
We keep on crying …aloud in prayer.
We admit our struggles.
We voice our troubling questions.
IV. Anchor your sorrow in truth (10-15)
IV. Anchor your sorrow in truth (10-15)
If we stopped at v. 9 then we would be in trouble. If we allow ourselves to not only express our pain, but to wallow in it, then we have missed the biblical ideal of lamenting.
Lament is a prayer that leads us through pain and difficult questions into truth that anchors our soul.
10 Then I said, “I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
V. 10 is a difficult verse to translate.
10 Then I said, “It is my grief, That the right hand of the Most High has changed.”
A Commentary on the Psalms 1–89, Volumes 1 & 2: Commentary Commentary in Expository Form
it refers to his lamentable condition that indicated a change in the way the hand of God dealt with him. If the translation “years” (same form, שְׁנוֹת) is preferred over “changing” (as in AV, RV), it would refer to the time when God’s power was active. His sorrow would then be in remembering the years of God’s powerful interventions.43 Indirectly this would still mark a change from what used to be God’s dealings to what was now occurring.
In either translation the verse expresses sorrow. Wither that they way the right hand of God has dealt with the psalmist had changed, or the idea is that the psalmist has sorrow when he remembers the years of God’s powerful interventions in the past.
vv. 11-12 mark a turning point in the psalm however.
11 I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. 12 I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.
This is where the lament turns toward a resolution.
“In all we feel and all the questions we have, there comes a point where we must call to mind what we know to be true.” —Mark Vroegop
Notice the verbs in these two verses.
I will remember. I will remember. I will ponder. I will meditate.
What things will the psalmist remember, ponder, and meditate on?
The deeds of the Lord (past). Your wonders of old. All your work, Your mighty deeds.
Notice the personal nature of these verses: I will, I will, I will… The psalmist looks back and reflects personally on all the mighty deeds of the Lord in the past.
Then notice the shift in v. 13
13 Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God?
The shift is from God’s deeds of the past to what? God’s very character!
And notice we have another question! What were the previous questions about?
Will the Lord spurn forever? (7)
Will He never again be favorable? (7)
Has His steadfast love forever ceased? (8)
Are His promises at an end for all time? (8)
Has God forgotten to be gracious? (9)
Has he in anger shut up His compassion? (9)
Now, what is the question being asked? What god is great like our God?
This is an important turning point! What makes possible the dramatic change in questions?
What did he just spend time doing in vv. 11-12? Remembering, pondering, meditating. On what? The mighty deeds of God. And that meditation lead him to the exclamation: Your way, O God, is holy! And to the question: what god is great like our God?
This is an important turning point in the prayer. Why? It makes lament full of grace as we turn from honest questions to confident trust. This is turning point we all have to get to.
Laments full of grace are only possible if you have the right kind of belief in the character of God. God is Holy, God is good, God is loving, God is gracious. How can you turn in confident faith to a god who is not those things?
You have the paradox of pain on one side and the promise of God’s goodness on the other. Lament is the vehicle that moves us from one to the other.
14 You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples. 15 You with your arm redeemed your people, the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
Laments are opportunities to express our pain and our grief, but they are also opportunities to remind our hearts about God’s goodness and faithfulness in the past, especially when our immediate circumstances are overwhelmingly negative.
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
Hurting people are given permission to grieve, but not aimlessly or selfishly. Lament is always meant to redirect hurting people to their faithful God.
How many Christians need to learn the biblical concept of lamenting?
How do we pray, how do we lament, in order to turn our hearts to the Lord?
We keep on crying …aloud in prayer.
We admit our struggles.
We voice our troubling questions.
We anchor our sorrow in truth
V. Pray the Gospel (16-20)
V. Pray the Gospel (16-20)
This psalm ends with a retelling of the most significant story of deliverance in the history of the Jewish people: The Exodus.
In order to anchor his soul in truth he recounts the defining moment when God displayed his steadfast love and faithfulness to His people.
16 When the waters saw you, O God, when the waters saw you, they were afraid; indeed, the deep trembled.
17 The clouds poured out water; the skies gave forth thunder; your arrows flashed on every side.
18 The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind; your lightnings lighted up the world; the earth trembled and shook.
19 Your way was through the sea, your path through the great waters; yet your footprints were unseen. 20 You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
Do you remember in his pain and sorrow the psalmist expressing all of his struggling and difficult questions about God?
Will the Lord spurn forever? (7)
Will He never again be favorable? (7)
Has His steadfast love forever ceased? (8)
Are His promises at an end for all time? (8)
Has God forgotten to be gracious? (9)
Has he in anger shut up His compassion? (9)
Here he anchors his doubts in the single greatest redemptive act of God in Israel’s history. The story of the Exodus was an anchor for his soul in what he believed about God.
What is the great single redemptive act of God in the history of the NT believer? The death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
This is where we ultimately need to take all of our pain and grief and sorrow. We need to run to Jesus.
We see this pattern in the NT.
36 As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
Do you know what Psalm Paul is quoting here? Psalm 44. Guess what kind of Psalm that is? It is a Psalm of Lament. So Paul quotes a lament- that is true today as it was in David’s day.
For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.
That is a lament. As Christians, we face persecution and adversity. But notice the anchor Paul turns to in the next breath.
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
“Lament prayers celebrate this truth with tears.” — Mark Vroegop
12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
We live between the paradox of pain on one side and the promise of God’s goodness on the other. Lament is the vehicle that moves us from one to the other.
If we are to practice this biblical art of lament the first step is turning toward God. The best way to turn to God is through prayer. But, how do we pray, how do we lament, in order to turn our hearts to the Lord?
We looked at five key elements of lamenting in prayer this morning.
How do we pray, how do we lament, in order to turn our hearts to the Lord?
We keep on crying …aloud in prayer.
We admit our struggles.
We voice our troubling questions.
We anchor our sorrow in truth.
We pray the gospel.
Friends, how has the Lord worked in your heart today?
Silent treatment?
Glass half full?
Ignoring our troubling questions?
Drifting through life on feelings?
Ignoring the power of the gospel?